MIL knows that my grandmother
raised me. A while ago, my grandmother was in the hospital
with a severe case of pneumonia. And, MIL (the witch that
she is) consoled me with the words, "Well, we all have a time
to die." Recently, her boss died. So, I sent her
an email which read, "In the words which you used to console
me, 'We all have a time to die.'" About a month ago,
thankfully, my grandmother celebrated her 80th birthday. MIL
actually sent her a birthday card. And, in it, she put a handwritten
note that said, "Wishing you a long life." Sometimes,
I wonder if MIL has multiple personalities. Can I have anyone's
thoughts on this situation???? What do I do now? I ignore
her as much as I can!!! I cannot stand her!
Signed - We All Have
A Time To Die
RESPONSE: We All Have A Time
To Die
Gee, why would I have been tempted to respond to this woman's "comforting"
statement of "We all have a time to die" with "Really?
When's yours?"
RESPONSE: We All Have A Time To Die
It seems like she is two-faced. I would ignore her, and not
give her the attention that she does NOT deserve. Good for
you for sending her that email. That was poetic justice on
her part. Keep it up, and don't back down from this b!tch.
RESPONSE: We All Have A Time To Die
Did you sense malice from her when she said, "We all have a
time to die," or do you think that in an extremely awkward
and misguided way, she was trying to help? People say the
goofiest things - well meaning - when death is involved! When
my dad was terminally ill (but, actually, we were still hoping against
hope that he might recover), some relatives wrote him a letter telling
him how he must be saying his "good-byes"! He hadn't,
at that point, "given up", and he had not realized that
he wasn't going to beat the illness. And, these couldn't have
been more well meaning people! I don't know, I'm sure you
can sense if your MIL DOESN'T mean well. Malice is hard to
disguise. But, what I think when I hear well meaning people
saying things like this is, "Well, it teaches me what NOT,
EVER, to do!!!" I mean, really, what an ignorant thing
to say! But, maybe it's the best they know?
When my wife was about
6 months pregnant with our first child, my MIL (who is hot-tempered)
got into an argument with her over something from their past.
My MIL walked over to my wife and slapped her. I jumped up
and yelled at her to stop. She was startled, and stopped.
My wife was used to her mother's abuse, and with some talking, she
convinced me to go away for a while to calm down. I returned
a few hours later to calmly sit down and discuss with my MIL the
danger she had put my wife and unborn child in. She told me
to, "Back off," and that my wife was still her daughter.
She said that even though she is 20 years old, she was still able
to discipline her any way she sees fit. I lost the volume
control of my voice for what my wife says was almost an hour (I
stopped when I went hoarse). During that time, she had no
choice but to listen. And, it seemed that some of what I was
yelling about sunk into her thick skull. Things between us
after that seemed to be much better, until the baby was born.
We had a tiny baby girl that had to stay in the hospital for 3 weeks
due to a surgery she had to have. Before those 3 weeks were
up, my MIL told my wife and I that she would have the right to discipline
our daughter as she is growing up. I told her that her daughter
(my wife) was raised like that, unfortunately, but I wasn't raised
that way, and my child won't be raised that way. My MIL said
something like," How is my grandbaby gonna know I love her,
if I can't paddle her butt once in awhile?" It's been
almost ten years since she said that, and I still shake my head
when I think about it.
Signed - SIL of a #% **MIL
RESPONSE: SIL of a #% **MIL
Your MIL is a horror! Good for you for standing up to her,
and not allowing her to harm your wife or your child. Someone
needs to paddle her bottom with a 2x4!!! I only hope you don't
have much contact with her now. She sounds like a witch!
RESPONSE: SIL of a #% **MIL
I am not against spanking, BUT, it is not anyone's right to discipline
YOUR child without your permission. AND, they must do it in
the way YOU see fit!
RESPONSE: SIL of a #% **MIL
I am so sorry. That's absolutely horrible! This is the
first time I've ever responded to a post on this site. Something
about your story really hit a nerve. My matron of honor was
raised in a home much like your wife's. Her life has been
greatly affected by her childhood. I am so glad to hear that
you will stand up for your little one. She deserves a loving
home, not an abusive one!
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