 |
This might be a common problem that we all are
facing. My DH and I don't want our ILs to sleep at our house.
We have a 3 bedroom house - a master bedroom, one bedroom is my
office, and the other room used to have a bed that we borrowed
from my parents. Everyone would visit us and assume that
the room was theirs. We had to return the bed to my parents
- they put it in their guest room. Now, we want our ILs
to stay over at my parents' house when they visit. They
all say, "Oh no. We want to stay at your house.
We'll just bring our air mattress and sleep on the floor."
Well, my DH and I don't have the linens to support everyone sleeping
on the floor, and really don't want people sleeping on our floor.
How do we nicely tell his mom and dad (divorced), when they come
over, that we have arranged for them to sleep at my parents',
without having them set up the air mattress? I'm afraid
this will be the hill I die on with her.
Signed - Air Mattresses
Are For Camping
RESPONSE: Air Mattresses Are For Camping
Show them to the closest hotel and say, "See you in the morning!!!".
This is your house, and they should respect your wishes.
If that doesn't work, punch a hole in the mattress, so they will
find themselves lying on the floor with a backache in the middle
of the night. No, wait, they will probably just ask for
your bed then. Showing them to the hotel and making the
reservations for them is your best bet. Good luck.
RESPONSE: Air Mattresses Are For Camping
What is the big deal about them sleeping at your place?
They probably feel awkward staying at your parents', especially
if you have one extra room. When my ILs visit, they always
sleep at our place - on the floor, using the air mattress.
If it's fine with them, it's fine with me.
RESPONSE: Air Mattresses Are For Camping
Wow. Is this the biggest problem you have with your in-laws?
How well do they know your parents? Maybe they are just
uncomfortable staying over there.
RESPONSE: Air Mattresses Are For Camping
That might be difficult. Just be nice and straightforward.
Or else you will be having your ILs controlling you and your husband.
RESPONSE: Air Mattresses Are For Camping
Well, personally I would be offended if I were your MIL.
You have the room, and air mattresses are actually pretty comfortable
- and not just meant for camping. Tell them to bring their
own linens. I'm sure they won't have a problem with that.
I have a number of problems with my MIL, but my husband's brother's
wife told us that when we came to visit, we should stay in some
empty apartments, instead of at her house (which has plenty of
room). I was immediately insulted, and felt as though my
visit was unwelcome. My husband's brother, however, has
no problem allowing us to stay in his house. My SIL has
never had anyone from my husband's family stay at her house (they
live thousands of miles away), but her family is welcome to do
as they wish. I like her, but I feel uncomfortable suggesting
a visit. And, I subsequently canceled our trip to their
house, which is in another state. However, when they came
to my tiny, two-bedroom house, I let them stay (and gave up my
bed so they would be comfortable). And, I slept on a recliner.
So, I guess some people are different. But, I see no reason
why your MIL should not stay with you. I guarantee it might
start WWIII, and cause great stress for everyone.
RESPONSE: Air Mattresses Are For Camping
That's a tough one. I think your in-laws should respect
you and sleep at your parents' (guests aren't supposed to order
their hosts around!). But, they would probably be more comfortable
staying with you. You might say that air mattresses are
for camping, but they might really not mind sleeping on one.
I wouldn't mind, personally. Is this really about the bed,
or is it about not wanting them in your house? For me, I'm
afraid it would be not wanting my in-laws in the house.
It's stressful having the in-laws visit. I don't know what
the answer is. I guess I'd say that, if you sense that they'd
be more comfortable staying with you and using their air mattress
(and you have INVITED them, and it's ok with you that they're
coming), then let them use the air mattress. But, you do
have the right to tell them, very politely, that it's not a good
time (if they want to come when it's not a good time for you).
Just make sure you have a good excuse (preferably delivered by
your DH).
RESPONSE: Air Mattresses Are For Camping
If I went to see someone who had a spare room (bed in it or not),
I would be astonished if I were told that I was staying with someone
else! Why can't they sleep in that spare room? Why
can't they bring a mattress? I don't think there is any
way you can tell them this without sounding rude. And, from
what I read in your message, I think that trying to make them
go to your parents', when you have room, is extremely bad-mannered.
Sorry.
RESPONSE: Air Mattresses Are For Camping
Do they walk around naked at night or something? Get a grip!
RESPONSE: Air Mattresses Are For Camping
Paint the room. That is - when they visit, you should be
about halfway through the paint job. There should be tape
on the walls, paint cans and drop cloths, and enough fresh paint
to still smell. Apologize profusely that you didn't get
it done in time. And, then apologize that the spare bathroom
is all clogged up, and the plumber won't come 'til next week.
Too bad, but they will have to stay at your parents'. Good
luck.
RESPONSE: Air Mattresses Are For Camping
Are your in-laws and your parents friends??? I wouldn't
fault them for not wanting to stay over there if they are not
close with them. I wouldn't blame them. Do they stay
for long periods of time? Maybe you should suggest an affordable
hotel in the area. If they can't afford it, maybe it would
be worth it for you and your DH to foot the bill for peace of
mind.
RESPONSE: Air Mattresses Are For Camping
Change the situation to make it their problem. Ask them,
"Is there something wrong with my parents' home? They
have the bed and the space for you. You will be much more
comfortable with them." Good luck.
RESPONSE: Air Mattresses Are For Camping
I don't understand the big deal about the floor in an extra room.
Your ILs are probably uncomfortable sleeping at your parents'.
Are they and your parents friends who usually visit each other?
If your ILs want to bring an air mattress and bedding, what is
the harm? It obviously doesn't bother them. I wonder
if there isn't some other reason you don't want them there.
Is the room dirty? Is the floor torn up? Are there
pets that live in there? Do you have mice or roaches?
Ghosts?
RESPONSE: Air Mattresses Are For Camping
I have to side with the in-laws. I would not want to stay
with your parents. I would want to stay with my own son,
no matter where I had to sleep. They may be uncomfortable
staying with your parents. Consider how they may feel for
a minute. If you don't have the linens, tell your in-laws
to bring some. If they are bringing the air mattress anyway,
it shouldn't matter much if they have to bring sheets and blankets
too.
|
