Many moons ago, when
I was still brave enough to spend the night at my MIL's, my mother-out-law
opened the door to the bedroom a grand total of three times.
Needless to say, she figured out the fact that I do not wear nightclothes
to bed. Every Christmas since then, she has presented me with
a flannel something-or-other to remind me of what an immoral tart
her son married.
Signed - Pop Tart
I can't stand my MIL.
Sometimes I wish she was dead. She is a bossy and angry woman.
My husband gets upset that I can not stand her. She tells
me what to do with my children, and keeps insulting me in every
way she can. I live close to them. I am becoming really
bitter towards the situation. I feel like I am trapped in
a family who controls me and my children. I feel very angry
about my life with my husband and MIL. I don't want to leave
my husband, but sometimes I wish I could take my children and run
away from the constant verbal abuse and harassment!
Signed - Sometimes I
Wish I Could Run Away
RESPONSE: Sometimes I Wish I Could Run Away
It took me eighteen years to say, "Enough is enough."
And, when my husband saw it was going to be me telling his parents,
"no more," he finally took a stand. My only wish
is that I would have done this from the beginning. I can't
promise that your husband will do what's right, but you have a right
to be treated with respect. Don't be afraid to draw boundaries
that they have to respect (or else they must stay away from you
and your children). If your husband will not respect this,
then you know you have another relationship in which you have to
draw boundaries as well (for he is to honor, respect, and protect
you). That does not mean you have to leave your husband, for
it may just take you standing up for yourself and going through
some cool times for him to come around. Keep your head up,
and know there are many who have suffered similarly, and understand
your pain. Emotional abuse is a very painful experience.
It is an emotional murder that you do not have to accept (just because
she is your husband's mother).
RESPONSE: Sometimes I Wish I Could Run Away
I am sorry that you are so sad. Has your DH heard the words
that your MIL says to you? My advice would be to record her
saying these vile things to you, and have your DH listen to it.
Maybe he only sees the "good" side of his mother, and
doesn't realize what she does to you behind his back. I would
also let him know that every time he gets mad at you about his mother,
you lose respect for him as your husband and as a father.
Good luck. Maybe you should seek counseling with your DH about
this evil MIL!
I have a question.
My MIL is divorced, and my husband is an only child. This
woman thinks nothing of inviting herself on our vacations.
I have told my DH that there is a time and a place for MIL when
we go someplace. DH does not understand this, and I don't
know how to make him understand. I try to relay the message
by saying, "Would you want my mother on our vacation?"
But, it does not seem to help. My only resolution was to tell
him, "If she is paying, then we will go with her. If
she is not, then she needs to find a friend or boyfriend to go along
with her." If you have any other suggestions, I could
use them.
Signed - To Go Or Not
To Go?
RESPONSE: To Go Or Not To Go?
Take your mother on the next vacation.
RESPONSE: To Go Or Not To Go?
What boggles my mind is: Why can't a MIL understand that a
young (or even not-so-young) couple needs some vacations alone?
You are actually being incredibly nice about this! We have
to put our foot down, or something. Actually, here's the weird
thing: We have been on a total of two vacations in the six
years we've been married, and both of them have been with my in-laws.
That's not what I call a vacation - it was never supposed to happen
that way, but it just did. I'm afraid it's some kind of jinx,
and that all our vacations will always be with my in-laws.
Aggh!
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