Did you see that Ebay
auction in which a guy sold his mother's wonderful secrets of raising
him with so much love, for over $600.00? Someone sent me an
email about that, really touched by it, but I felt cynical!
I thought, "Yeah, she would be really great if she actually
treats this guy's WIFE decently, too." I don't know if
he's married, but I don't think it's so unusual for a mother to
be selfless, adoring, and devoted to her son. But, the real
proof in the pudding is: What kind of MIL is she? In
my experience, those overly involved mothers make pretty horrible
MILs. If she's the exception, her "secrets" are
really WORTH $600! Hey, maybe some of you could sell a list
of advice about how to get along with MILs for $600!!
Signed - Skeptical
RESPONSE: Skeptical
I think you raise an excellent point - that it is a mistake for
women to make their children their whole lives, and it's a mistake
for parents to make their children the center of their marriage.
It's not good for the children. I had this discussion a few
months back with a cyberpal who just couldn't understand how any
woman could be so awful as to work when she had children.
While I certainly wouldn't want to put a 6 week old baby into daycare,
I can very much understand why women who have a lot of time, education,
and effort invested in a career, want to protect and maintain that
(for the simple reason that children *grow up*, and will sooner
or later very much want you to *NOT* make them the center of your
life). Certainly, once the kids are old enough to be in school
(unless you're home schooling, I suppose), it's time for mom to
start getting a life outside of her kids - for everybody's sake.
RESPONSE: Skeptical
Actually, you could be wrong. His mother could have raised
him to respect others, make his own decisions, and to stand up against
injustices. She might have raised him to love and cherish
his wife. Someone who does what he does must be happy with
his life, which means all around, no?
When my husband and I
were engaged, a coworker told me a story about how she had registered
for a certain pattern of china, only to have her FMIL go to the
department store and change her pattern. One day, we were
having dinner with my in-laws and talking about our gift registry,
and I told them this story (because I thought it was funny).
My MIL, however, decided that I had told the story because I thought
she would do the same thing (I didn't think that). So, to
prove me wrong, she went out and bought all 12 place settings of
our china. Four years later, she is still buying me china,
and refers to that story every time! Get over it lady!
Signed - Can't Talk To
A Psycho Like A Normal Human Being
RESPONSE: Can't Talk To A Psycho Like A Normal Human
Being
That's the sad thing about having Psycho in-laws. You can
never make an innocent comment without it being taken the wrong
way. Better not to talk to them at all.
RESPONSE: Can't Talk To A Psycho Like A Normal Human
Being
Did you ever explain to her that you weren't referring to her that
night?
Worst gift: My SIL's
birthday is one day before mine, so we celebrate them together,
as we have some mutual friends. We were at MIL's house earlier
that day to do the birthday dinner and the whole gift thing.
I was expecting to get nothing, and that would have been fine with
me. Well, MIL came out of the house with our gifts.
My gift was a plastic shoe box with tampons, shampoo, soap, and
toe nail clippers in it. SIL got a printer for her computer,
a camera, a new TV, and a promise that she would get MIL's car in
2 months (the car was only a year old). SIL didn't even need
the car, she already had two! I told my husband that receiving
soap was more insulting than getting nothing. On a good note,
MIL got the plastic shoebox and soap stuff back for Christmas!
He he he.
Signed - Not Good Enough
For MIL
I have tears in my eyes
as I write this. I have been married to my wonderful husband
for 11 years. Since my children have been born, his mother
has gotten even nuttier. The latest episode of MIL insanity
occurred at a family dinner a few days ago. I don't let MIL
watch my kids, because I truly don't trust her. I wasn't in
the door of MIL's house for 2 seconds when MIL asked, "Are
your girls still in preschool?", to which I replied, "Yes,"
(and they are not - but I don't want to give MIL the satisfaction
that they aren't). Her response was "Smart GIRL!!!
You need to learn how to let go of your children." My
three year old daughter heard the word "preschool" and
began to relay the story that she didn't want to go back to preschool
because one of the little boys was (quote - excuse me) "picking
his nose". MIL REPLIED TO my THREE YEAR OLD, with a sick
gleam in her eye, "OH! SHOW ME HOW HE WAS DOING THAT?!?!"
I immediately responded with, "NO! We don't behave like
that in our house," and MIL responded to me like a cobra, flipped
her head around and hisses out, "TAKE IT EASY!!! IT WAS
JUST A JOKE." I wanted to smash her. I am at my
wits end. She is a lunatic. Can ANYONE relate?
What do I do??? I try to keep that nutcase b!tch away from
my innocent children as much as possible, but we still are "obligated"
to go down there for family dinners (according to DH).
Signed - Actually Encourages
Her Grandchildren To Pick Their Noses
RESPONSE: Actually Encourages Her Grandchildren To
Pick Their Noses
What a pig! Children pick their noses, everyone knows that.
Why would she want to see it? Where is DH and his spine in
all of this? You are going to have to use your mouth, just
like she does. Tell her to stop undermining you in front of
the children, or she won't be seeing them anymore. She is
a bad influence, and I think she is doing it to piss you off.
The lasting effects of all of this will stay with the children,
however. I am one of these people who can't keep her mouth
shut. My MIL learned a very long time ago not to go there.
She can say all that she wants to behind my back, because what I
don't know won't hurt her! See what I am getting at?
Put your foot down and keep it down to her and your DH. Dry
those eyes, and take "action", instead of reacting.
Good luck.
RESPONSE: Actually Encourages Her Grandchildren To
Pick Their Noses
That is a difficult situation. The only way to put a lot of
distance between her and your children is to find a job out of state
and move! I'm having the same sort of problem that you are
(I don't trust my MIL around my kids AT ALL), and I'm seriously
contemplating asking for a transfer to another state. If hubby
won't come with me, I'll go alone and take the kids, because I can't
deal with her neurotic behavior, and the safety and well-being of
my children ALWAYS comes first. Good luck to you.
RESPONSE: Actually Encourages Her Grandchildren To
Pick Their Noses
You are not overreacting. I am in a similar situation, and
have come to the conclusion that, ultimately, I am my children's
mother, and I will always have their best interests at heart.
I will fight tooth and nail to raise them as strong, loving and
respectful. What your MIL did crossed the line, and infringes
on that belief. You reacted in the same way I would have.
RESPONSE: Actually Encourages Her Grandchildren To
Pick Their Noses
I would have let him do it. Only, I would have let him wipe
it in her drapery - you know, the kind that have to be dry cleaned!
Then, I'd have said, "HA HA HA, it's only a joke. Lighten
up!" She wouldn't have liked that very much! I,
too, have a wacky MIL. She started out wacky, but I sat her
down really quick. My mother also had a real wacky MIL.
She went with my parents on their honeymoon, and stayed with them
on their wedding night - in the same room! Sounds sick, or
what? I always swore I would never take the sh!t my mother
took! And I don't!!!
Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
received will be posted as early as our resources will allow.
Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then posted, all at
once, to the original story page about one week later (one set of responses
posted per day). Stories and responses will no longer move from
page to page based on status.
Worst Gift Stories
DISCLAIMER: All advice on this website is for informational
and entertainment purposes only. All responses are from reader submissions
unless specifically noted otherwise (such as Dr. Terri Apter advice page).
We do not endorse any of the advice. We provide it to you as a service.
We can neither guarantee the soundness of the advice, nor make any claims
as to the outcome of following this advice. We provide it for your
entertainment only. Should you choose to follow any of the advice,
it is solely at your own risk. This is not intended to substitute
for obtaining advice from appropriate sources and/or professional counseling.
We recommend you consult an appropriate professional, counselor, and/or
a trusted advisor before taking any action based on this advice.
B A Squared, LLC and www.motherinlawstories.com make no representations or
guarantees regarding any information dispensed on this site.
Your privacy is important to us. Click here to view our
Privacy Policy.
