Worst gift: We are expecting
a baby in two months. MIL, who lives in another country (this
is going to be her second grandchild, and our first child), sent
us a small packet of very used, washed out clothes, and a used towel,
as a gift for the baby. I cannot help being insulted by her
buying used clothes for my child, given the fact that she is wealthy,
and can afford to buy him or her a new outfits. This woman
acts so snooty, and looks down on the poor, and the poor could have
behaved more generously than she did. I am outraged.
I am sure worse things will come out from her once this baby is
born.
Signed - Cheap And Insulting
MIL
RESPONSE: Cheap And Insulting MIL
Send it back to her, and tell her to stick it! Don't mince
any more words than that, and never speak to her again. Your
child will be the one hurting the most if you don't. What
a b!tch.
RESPONSE: Cheap And Insulting
MIL
Is there any way that these clothes were DH's? I can't imagine
any other explanation for sending you used baby clothes, unless
you'd discussed it previously!
RESPONSE: Cheap And Insulting MIL
I would thank her profusely for thinking to send you some spit-up
rags. I would lay it on - say something like, "Usually,
people never think of the fact that mothers don't want to use pretty
towels and cloths for burp rags, and it was so thoughtful of you
to send rags." I would also ask her if they have sentimental
value - perhaps she used these rags for her DH when he was a baby?
Just lay it on like that. Keep referring to them as rags.
She won't know what to think.
RESPONSE: Cheap And Insulting MIL
Is there a custom in your MIL's country/religion/society that bars
her from buying new stuff for an unborn child? My mother and
grandmother are superstitious about getting new clothes for an unborn
child. This probably dates back to days when infant mortality
rates were high. Once the child is born, they get good things
for it. So, try to find out. Your husband can ask quietly.
That said, I can relate to your story! She brought used things
for my baby - her first, and so far only, grandchild. Some
of that stuff was in usable condition, and some was really bad,
and had to be returned to her. Then, she had the gall to ask
for things back, even before my baby had outgrown them. And,
she also asked for the things that we had bought our baby.
They are wealthy people, and have furnished all three (yes, three)
of their houses with baby equipment for "when the baby visits".
My reaction to this: You can keep your stuff, this baby is
not visiting you!
RESPONSE: Cheap And Insulting MIL
You are so lucky that she lives in another country! I wish
my MIL and FIL did! She probably sent the used gift on purpose
to upset you, and will be expecting a negative response from you
also (so that she can then tell her son about how ungrateful you
are!). My advice - surprise her! Thank her for the used
present (be nice if you can!!), and then she will be the one who
is upset, because she hasn't managed to hurt you (or so she will
think!). Your husband will be secretly offended by his mother's
gift to his unborn child, and if he is anything like my husband,
he won't want to admit it to you, because he still loves his mother,
and wants his mother to love you. In my experience, if I b!tch
about DH's mother to DH, then it only causes us to argue (MIL's
aim!). B!tch to us about it!! Rise above it. Don't
show that you are hurt by her pathetic attempts - you don't have
to use the horrible used things for your child, as it's not like
she lives next door! Next time you buy her a present, give
her something cr@ppy too!! I am going to request gift vouchers
or cash for any future birthday presents, and for Christmas, etc.!
Good luck!
RESPONSE: Cheap And Insulting MIL
I would be insulted too. I'm happy for you that your MIL lives
in another country, and you won't have to deal with her too much.
Congratulations on your baby-to-be! J
Worst gift: My MIL gave
me a salted nut roll candy bar (the extra large size) and a can
of air freshener. This kind of gift giving has been going
on for years. I have tried to bite my tongue and be polite
in order to save face, but after that incident, I chose to no longer
engage in any form of contact. If my DH wants to give his
mom a birthday or Xmas gift, he has to get it himself. I am
done!!!!
Signed - I Am Done!!!!
RESPONSE: I Am Done!!!!
If I were you, I would give her one last gift: A box of laxatives
and a roll of toilet paper - that should do the trick! Or,
give a box of dry dog food and a collar. How about a box of
tissues and a roach trap? Or, how about a pair of the biggest
size panties they make, and some hemorrhoid cream? Come on,
you can think of something nice for your dear old MIL, can't you?
Remember, don't get mad, get even! Then, you can be done!
Happy shopping!
RESPONSE: I Am Done!!!!
HOORAY for you for cutting off the contact with your MIL.
However, I think your husband needs to say something to your MIL.
Otherwise, she is just going to say you are the one in the wrong,
and that you have NO reason to treat her with such disrespect.
She is a louse!!!
RESPONSE: I Am Done!!!!
Good for you! You did the right thing!!
Worst gift: My husband
and I have been married for almost eleven years. I met my
MIL a year after we began dating - on her birthday! My husband
(then boyfriend) sprung this news on me as we were on the way to
her party. I was nervous, so I got her a bunch of very nice
flowers. Things went off without a hitch, and she really seemed
to like me. When we got married a year and a half later, she
was so nice to me, and helped me with the wedding, which was a very
small affair. I really wanted to elope, but she wanted to
see her oldest (and favorite) son get married. Well, shortly
after our wedding, everything changed. I knew my in-laws were
not well off, so I never expected much, but some of her gifts to
me were worse than no gift at all. The first gift was a bathrobe
for Christmas. It looked okay, except it was made from some
cheap polyester and had no lining! She said she bought it
at a local discount store, but when I went to return it, they said
they didn't carry anything that poorly made. A few years later,
she begged my husband and me to come to her house for Christmas.
I went to a lot of trouble selecting a nice silk robe from Victoria's
Secret (I was in my 20's, she was in her 40's). She loved
the robe, and excitedly handed me my gift. It was a box of
note paper and envelopes, with a church and a giant cross on them.
She, and all of my friends, knows that I'm not religious, but these
little papers were familiar to me. I'd seen them at the local
dollar store! The final insult was that she'd given my BIL's
girlfriend a lovely bath salt and bubble bath set, that appeared
to come from a nice department store! I guess it's just as
well, because I've recently learned that my husband is gay, and
we are divorcing.
Signed - Not So Gay About
MIL Today
RESPONSE: Not So Gay About MIL Today
Wow, what a story. Good luck next time!
RESPONSE: Not So Gay About MIL
Today
Sorry for the unhappy ending to your marriage. It sounds as
though your MIL may have known all along what her son was really
like, which was no excuse for her treatment towards you. You
certainly had a double dose of cr@p to deal with. What liars
and phonies the two of them are. I can't stand fake people.
You will be happier in the long run without the cheater you were
married to. I wish you a very bright future, and the best
of everything.
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