I am a 34 year old man
who is having problems with MIL and grandmother-in-law. My
wife and I are both from the South. Right before we got married,
my employer transferred me to the west coast. My wife and
I talked about this, and she agreed to move. When she told
her mother and grandmother that she would have to move, the control,
domination, and manipulation kicked in. Her family tried to
make her feel guilty about moving, but she did anyway, and we have
had a wonderful first year of marriage. My wife has not seen
her family in a year, and is planning to visit for a few weeks.
I cannot go with her, because I cannot take a vacation at this time.
But, I told her to go and enjoy herself. My wife has informed
me that her grandmother has started to pick her mind about the marriage.
Is it good or bad, etc. The problem is that her family has
it in their mind that once my wife gets back to her hometown, she
is not leaving. They know that I work long hours, and my wife
does not work. They are trying to persuade her to stay in
her hometown, live with them, get a job, and tell me that I have
to move back to the south in order for us to be together.
I cannot move right now. This is impossible, but my wife is
becoming miserable, and is thinking about canceling the vacation,
because she knows that she will not have any peace when it gets
time for her to return to me. She feels she is being put in
a situation where she is having to choose between family and me.
I told her to go on and visit, and when it's time to go, she should
just go. If MIL and GMIL are angry, they will get over it.
My wife is thinking of not going until I can go with her, but that
won't stop them. They will try to get her alone and talk with
her. What can I do to make things easier for my wife?
Signed - A Concerned
Husband
RESPONSE: A Concerned Husband
Let your wife trust her instincts. She will be more comfortable.
RESPONSE: A Concerned Husband
It says in the bible, Genesis 2:24 - A man and a wife are one flesh.
So, let his family argue with that. Your wife stays with you,
end of subject.
RESPONSE: A Concerned Husband
It's actually quite simple. If she doesn't want to go, then
she doesn't go. Explain to them exactly why she doesn't want
to visit, and let her wait until you are able to join her.
Then, stick together like glue. Try the old, "You know,
if you are talking to my wife, you are talking to me," sort
of thing. Good luck.
RESPONSE: A Concerned Husband
If she's flying, make her return ticket open-ended. That way,
if they start to make her crazy the first day, she can arrange to
leave on the next flight out. Also, book her into a hotel.
There's nothing worse than not being able to get away from the noise
and the bickering. Send her with phone cards - they can't
accuse anybody of costing them a fortune in phone bills. See
if she can find an old friend to spend most of her family time with
her - like a buffer. If your wife knows she has your support,
and knows she doesn't HAVE to stay for the originally dictated length
of time, she may just enjoy herself. And, bravo to you for
being such a doll.
RESPONSE: A Concerned Husband
I don't think there is anything YOU can do, except be there for
her to talk to. I'm kind of in the same situation now.
We moved about 14 hours away years ago, and my mom didn't like it
at all. She wouldn't try to get me to leave my husband to
move home, though. If she even suggested it, I would be pissed.
I think it's up to your wife to tell her family that she isn't moving
home. I know, with me, whenever I hear anything about how
we need to start looking for a job closer to home, I don't want
to talk to my mom anymore. Too much of it, and we wouldn't
talk much at all. All it does is push me away. I think
that any MIL who wants her daughter to leave her husband and move
home is only thinking of her own feelings, and not showing much
love for her daughter. Besides that, have your in-laws come
to see you yet? I, personally, think it should be equal.
With my in-laws, I've gotten to the point that when I go home to
visit with my kids, and without my husband, I don't even tell my
in-laws that I'm in town (even though they live 1 mile from my parents).
MIL has only been here 1 time, and FIL said he'd never come out
here, so why should I bother with them? I, personally, think
that your wife needs to say something to them like, "Are you
suggesting that I end my happy marriage in order to move back in
with my parents?" It seems like a stupid question, and
maybe if it's asked, the in-laws will knock it off.
RESPONSE: A Concerned Husband
It doesn't sound like there is a lot you can do to ease things for
your wife. Just offer your support and love. It sounds
like she is aware of where the pressure is coming from, and what
she is in for. I would say respect the feelings that she has
(that she should put it off for now). You say that it wouldn't
be any different if you were there - MIL and GMIL would still be
trying to get your wife alone to talk to her. But, you see,
it is different. You would be there to deflect a LOT of it,
and to support her when you are alone. And, she can let it
all out with you. If she goes alone, she is facing it 24/7,
and no one knows, except your wife, how bad these people can be.
If she doesn't feel up to it, please do not push her. Perhaps
your DW could call it off, then write a letter telling MIL and GMIL
why. If they cannot respect her wedding vows after this long,
there is something inherently wrong with these women. It isn't
like you treat DW badly - they just want her home near mommy and
grandma - and are willing to cause DW to forsake and break her wedding
vows to get their way. What kind of love is that? Back
in pioneer days, a woman might get married and move across the country
with her husband, and NEVER be able to afford to get home again.
Now, there is email, letters, phone calls, and - as you are pointing
out - chances for visits. These women are being selfish.
They are willing to let your DW be unhappy living without you so
that they can keep her to themselves. Your wife made her choice.
It sounds like she is trying to get out of this trip too.
Please just support her, weakness and all. Do not push her
to go back. Just go when the time comes - it sounds like your
wife fears being able to do so without great emotional stress.
RESPONSE: A Concerned Husband
You and your wife sound like you are in the same position that my
parents were in about 10 years ago. After 25 years of marriage,
and 2 college age children, my father's job transferred him to another
state, 5 hours away from their home state. My grandma (dad's
MIL) did everything to try to convince my mom to divorce my dad
and stay in the home state, and let him "move out there".
My mom refused to listen to her mother, and she moved out there
with him. She said it was the best decision that she ever
made. Of course, every time they went back for a visit, grandma
would get her alone and try to put the guilt trip on her.
That's when mom decided to stop the visits. She then told
her mother, on the phone, that, until these guilt trips and pleas
for divorce stop, she will NOT be visiting. It took a few
years, but then grandma just missed her daughter and grandchildren
so much that she promised to stop. So, mom went for a visit,
and to our surprise, grandma kept her promise. I think your
wife should call MIL and GMIL ahead of time and tell them that,
the second they try to get her to stay, she is packing her bags
and going back home (even if it's 3 seconds after she arrives).
If MIL and GMIL really want to see her, they'll lay off. Good
luck!
RESPONSE: A Concerned Husband
If your wife would rather not go, don't make her go. A little
more time away from MIL and GMIL may make them realize that she
is living her life as she sees best.
RESPONSE: A Concerned Husband
The united front is always best. Perhaps your wife should
wait to go until you can be with her. She may not be looking
forward to the visit anyway. Give her a way out, help buffer
her from these toxic people.
RESPONSE: A Concerned Husband
I am the wife-daughter in the same situation! We have been
together for 7 years, and my family does not see us as married.
Every chance they get, they offer me a way "out".
Now that we have our son, they would like me to come home with the
baby and no husband. My family has offered me money, a place
to live, and a car to drive. They would like me to slip right
back into the controlling life they had me trapped in. Help
your wife by loving her. Understand the extreme amount of
pain this causes her. And, know that the love she has for
you is strong enough to endure the consent negativity. That
is true love. Good luck!!
RESPONSE: A Concerned Husband
I don't think there's much you can do for your wife, other than
love and support her. If she feels that uncomfortable about
going home, maybe she should cancel the trip. The only solution
I see to her/your problem is for her to gently, but very firmly,
confront her family about their interference. She should tell
them that she loves them and misses them, but that her life is with
you now. She is not leaving, and does not want them pressuring,
manipulating, or trying to make her feel guilty for being an adult,
married woman. She should also add that these behaviors make
her not want to come home for visits. If she does choose to
go on her trip, she should probably tell her family this before
she gets there. After she gets there, if they start in again,
she needs to be strong enough to either tell them verbally to stop,
to pointedly change the subject, to get up and leave the room, OR
to go pack her bags and tell them that, if they can't stop badgering
her, she's going home. Good luck, and let us know what happens.
RESPONSE: A Concerned Husband
Don't make your DW go home if she is not ready to. It sounds
like this could put your marriage in serious trouble. The
next time your DW visits her family, make sure you are by her side,
and don't leave her. Take her to the bathroom with you if
necessary. Don't let your MIL have an opportunity to manipulate
your DW. The two of you should stay in a hotel. Don't
stay in anyone's house. You will need a safe place to relax
after your daily visits. If you cannot afford a hotel, then
don't go home. Also, don't let your ILs visit you. If
they want to come, tell them they are going to have to stay in a
hotel. It would be considered rude otherwise. Tell your
DW to be strong. If she is weakening, then get her some friends
and a time-consuming hobby. Don't allow your MIL to have the
time and opportunity to influence your DW. Again, if DW doesn't
want to fly south - don't make her. She is doing the right
thing by you, and that is ALL that counts.
MY SIL (DH's sister)
is engaged, and has asked me and another SIL (whom I have never
even met - she is DH's brother's wife, but DH and his brother DO
NOT SPEAK) to "help" with her bridesmaids' luncheon.
When I say "help", she means PAY FOR and organize it,
supposedly along with her and my MIL. Correct me if I am wrong,
but isn't the bridesmaids' luncheon the BRIDE'S responsibility????
Since when is it cool to ask others to pay for their bridesmaids
to eat? She is wanting a lavish brunch at a restaurant for
about 15-20 people (not only her bridesmaids, but other female family
members who are not even in the wedding). She hasn't given
me any specifics as far as costs, but my main question is:
SHOULD I EVEN BE DOING THIS? Honestly, we are not even close,
and I think she's just wanting someone else to foot her bill!
In other words, she's using me! In my opinion, I think it's
very rude, and quite bold of her to ask this of us. I am also
a little angry that I am being asked to do this, when my in-laws,
SIL included, didn't even go to my own wedding!!!! My MIL
and FIL did NOT attend their own son's wedding, blaming my SIL (who
was 16 at the time). They said that they couldn't leave her
behind while we got married out of state. Maybe it's trite,
but I don't forget things like this. And, now they treat her
like she's some goddess - as if she's the only woman getting married
this year. It's truly sickening. How do I retract my
initial offer of helping her out with this dumb lunch? The
more I think about this whole stupid bridesmaids' luncheon, the
more angry I get with myself. I really don't like feeling
pressured to do things I don't want to do. I really don't
want to do anything for her. HELP! How do I get out
of this mess?
Signed - How Do I Get
Out Of This Mess?
RESPONSE: How Do I Get Out Of This Mess?
Is there any question at all in this issue? Come on!
SIL was not at your wedding. And, you were asked to pay for
and arrange this brunch? Just tell SIL that, because she was
absent from your wedding, the whole "help" idea seems
wrong.
RESPONSE: How Do I Get Out Of This Mess?
She is too rude. Tell her, "Sorry."
RESPONSE: How Do I Get Out Of This Mess?
Tell her, "No,"! Plain and simple! Tell her
that you are VERY busy, and just don't have the time! Whatever
you do, please don't fall for their cr@p! They are using you!!!!!
RESPONSE: How Do I Get Out Of This Mess?
Say, "NO,"!!!!!!
RESPONSE: How Do I Get Out Of This Mess?
Ask DH to tell MIL that he is not footing any of the bill for his
sister's bridal luncheon. It seems that would be best.
I don't know about the etiquette of this either, but when my future
SIL had her bridal luncheon, my sisters and I were invited - as
guests. We were never asked to help pay for it. I would
ask DH to have a word with MIL.
RESPONSE: How Do I Get Out Of This Mess?
I agree with you - it is very rude of your SIL to ask for your "help"
with her bridesmaid's luncheon, especially when you know that "help"
means "pay for". If I were you, I would tell her
that you have suddenly become very busy with your job, kids, your
family, etc., and you just cannot help her at this time. Sound
sincere, and apologize that you cannot help her. That might
help a bit.
RESPONSE: How Do I Get Out Of This Mess?
Do what she wants, and have the bill sent to her.
RESPONSE: How Do I Get Out Of This Mess?
Easy. DON'T PAY For ONE CENT, or you'll lose your self-respect.
P.S. DON'T BE a BRIDESMAID. Shame on you for putting
yourself down like that.
RESPONSE: How Do I Get Out Of This Mess?
The old truism that no one can take advantage of you without your
permission is applicable here. Yes, she's being rude and bold.
I can see three choices: You can knuckle under and do what
she wants. This will smooth things over briefly, but will
make you angry (not to mention somewhat poorer), and set a very
bad precedent for the future. You can tell her you've changed
your mind, and bow out entirely, which will make the in-laws angry
(but it will teach them clearly that you cannot be pushed around).
Or, you can let your SIL know that she cannot manipulate your generosity,
and that if you are hosting this event, you get to choose the location
and set the budget - she does not get carte blanche to spend your
money. This might be the middle path.
RESPONSE: How Do I Get Out Of This Mess?
It is time for you to be the bigger person and let bygones be bygones.
So, offer a set amount for the lunch, and let your SIL figure out
where she is going to get the funding for the rest of the bill.
If she asks for more, then tell her that any thing above what was
offered will come out of her wedding gift. Don't be angry,
and don't correct her. Just give her a few dollars, and be
firm on the amount. How far along is she with the wedding
plans? You may want to buy her a copy of a wedding etiquette
book by Miss Manners or Dear Abby. Maybe your ILs will get
the hint.
RESPONSE: How Do I Get Out Of This Mess?
It sounds as if you are jealous of your SIL, and the attention being
paid to her. It also sounds like you don't know either of
your sisters-in-law very well. Try to set aside the grudges
stemming from your own wedding. Look at this luncheon as a
way to get to know your SILs better - they might turn out to be
quite nice people.
RESPONSE: How Do I Get Out Of This Mess?
If she wants you to pay for it and organize it, then do it according
to your time and budget - a sandwich tray ($20 at most chain delis),
and a vegetable platter. If you're organizing it, then the
guest list is up to you, not her. And, if it's a bridesmaids'
luncheon, then just invite the bridesmaids.
RESPONSE: How Do I Get Out Of This Mess?
Do not do it. If they only see you as a wallet, then why are
you even considering it? Polite people ask (do not tell),
people to do things. How do you get out of it? Say that
you are busy. Say that you don't have the money. Say
that you're just not interested right now. They can't force
your hand to sign the check.
RESPONSE: How Do I Get Out Of This Mess?
She expects you to pay? That is ridiculous! Tell her
you will gladly help organize, but can't contribute financially.
Why should you, anyway? What a weird thing for her to ask
of you!
RESPONSE: How Do I Get Out Of This Mess?
It is the bride's responsibility to honor her own bridesmaids with
a luncheon, AND no one else's. If she has financial problems,
then she needs to consider doing something more economical.
But, in no way is anyone else (NOT YOU, NOT HER BEST FRIEND, etc.)
supposed to be responsible for this luncheon! Don't do anything
out of guilt. So, you may choose to dismiss this next part
that I'm about to add. Have you considered giving her a small
shower? When you tell her you are not going to host a bridesmaid
luncheon, perhaps you could say, "I believe that the bridesmaid's
luncheon is the responsibility of the bride, so that she may honor
her bridesmaids. But, I wouldn't mind hosting a small family
shower for you if you would like?" In my own family,
some family members will get together and host a "family shower"
(only family members are invited, it can be coed or just the ladies)
to allow the family to honor the bride. So, this might be
an answer that will help you to be "sisterly" to her,
but to also let her know that you will not foot the bill for all
of her friends and her to party. If you don't want to host
a shower of any sort for her, explain to her in private, and without
being ugly, that you are fairly certain that the bride is responsible
for her own bridesmaid luncheon. If she gets angry, well,
let her be angry and look like a fool. YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE!
Good Luck! Signed: Got Some Crazy In-Laws Myself.
I feel compelled to
share my story. Years ago, my husband and I made the trip
back to our parent's homes in the US to meet each others parents,
and to tell them that we were getting married. After going
to his house, and staying for two days, we stayed at my parent's
for two days. My husband had arranged the trip for us, and
I was annoyed that we were leaving my parent's house on the morning
of my birthday to return and spend one more night at his parent's.
Upon returning to their house, they had set up a surprise party
for me. However, I felt a lot of tension in the air.
It turns out that prior to the party, my MIL was running me down
behind my back to others in the family. After the party, everyone
had gone home. I went to bed because I didn't feel well.
I overheard my husband and my MIL talking, and she was saying pretty
bad things. So, I went out to the kitchen to give her a chance
to talk to me. During the course of the conversation, she
said the following things, "Are you pregnant? Is that
why you are getting married? Are you going to wear white at
the wedding? What kind of hick parents do you have?"
She said the latter upon finding out that I wasn't raised in any
kind of religion, and that I had no plans to ask my parents to pay
for any of the wedding. My husband decided that we were going
to pay for it ourselves. We have never asked our parents for
money. She made a comment that she wanted her son to have,
"the kind of wedding he deserved." Before we went
home to meet the parents, my husband had talked with a priest about
us getting married in a church, and attending the premarital classes.
He made the decision that he didn't want to get married in the church.
However, I wanted to get married in the eyes of God in a nondenominational
church. When I told his mother this, she snorted, and told
me that the Catholic church was the only true religion, and she
told her son that our children would not be able to go to heaven.
After we returned back overseas to where we were stationed in the
military, his mother kept sending letters to him telling him not
to marry me. She said that it would never last, because we
didn't share the same beliefs and values. She also kept sending
Catholic pamphlets, one of which was titled, "We Catholics
Believe". We ended up getting married in a courthouse,
without either set of parents there. It was a wonderful wedding.
After reading some of the stories on this site, I am convinced that
we did the right thing. Want to know the kicker? She
worships the ground that my two other SILs walk on. One of
them WAS two months pregnant when she went down the aisle.
The wedding date kept sliding backwards, as did the due date.
Finally, she told everyone that they had had a "secret wedding"
two months before the actual ceremony, where, you guessed it - THE
BRIDE WORE WHITE. The other SIL is her son's second wife.
She was friends with the first wife, and carried on an affair with
him for two years before he divorced the first wife. The in-laws
used to make snide remarks about this SIL. For instance, they
joked that she could come to their home to visit, but that my BIL
should tie her to the mailbox outside, because they didn't want
the HOME WRECKER in their home. Now, this SIL walks on water
too. It seems that my MIL has relaxed her stiff morals with
these two.
Signed - IS IT ANY WONDER
I HATE THE OLD WITCH?
RESPONSE: IS IT ANY WONDER I HATE THE OLD WITCH?
Bravo to you for getting to have the simple courthouse wedding without
all the relatives. We tried to do that, but DH told his mother
one week before, and they all got plane tickets and came down (even
though my mom had only passed away a few months earlier, and I did
not want a big fuss made over my wedding). It turned out to
be a dysfunctional fiasco. Yes, you are right - in a situation
like that, it is better to elope!
RESPONSE: IS IT ANY WONDER I HATE THE OLD WITCH?
I was raised as a Catholic also. My own priest pretended that
he didn't know me once I was divorced. Forgiveness?
Nope. Acceptance? Nope. Support? Not a chance.
Now, I basically follow no religion, but I am still very spiritual.
You did the right thing by getting married in a courthouse.
Just because you didn't get married in a church, it doesn't mean
God doesn't recognize the marriage. An all-loving God doesn't
care about traditions and expectations - he cares about your happiness!
You might remember me
as the one who got her face slapped 3 times by her MIL this past
summer. Well, just this past Easter, I got a letter from "it".
In the letter, she started off with, "The Art of Understanding
and Forgiveness". This was centered at the top of the
page and underlined. I knew, right then, that something was
up. Then, there was a quote from some book that ends with,
"If we knew all, we could forgive all." Okay, so
I'm thinking, what's the point of this sh!t? She moved on
to apologize for her behavior, but then she said that it was a reaction
to my behavior. My behavior was a reaction to the 8 years
of sh!t I have taken from her and her family. She then went
on to tell me how her parents died when she was in her twenties,
so she became close to her ILs. Whoopee! Then she said
that, even though I am "estranged" from the family, I
am still family. And I quote, "You are my daughter-in-law,
and I am your mother-in-law."! Oh, really! Imagine
that! She apparently misses me at family gatherings, and she
would like me to "open my heart" so I can "at least
like her". Now, I want it known that I gave up seeing
my family on most occasions over the last eight years because I
was seeing her family and taking her and her family's cr@p that
whole time! If we didn't see her or her family, we got the
guilty phone call or the snide comment that I wasn't letting him
see them. Horse sh!t! I think we were some of the most
tolerant people on the planet for the cr@p we have seen and dug
them out of. Lastly, the letter ended with an invitation to
Easter dinner because, after all, Easter is a time of "starting
over". Naturally, I sent back a note (which I had to
rewrite 3 times) thanking her for her kind note. I also said
that the invitation to Easter dinner was greatly appreciated, however,
I would be spending that time with my family. And, I mentioned
that I looked forward to her assistance and support, as I planned
her son's surprise 40th birthday party. This gave her ample
opportunity to open her mouth to him if she really wanted to.
Then, she would only show what a complete sh!t she really is.
Later, I found out that she asked him if he read her letter (I let
him read it). He lied and told her, "No," and she
proceeded to show it to him. She even remarked about my letter,
and said something like, "The doors of communication are open
now." No, they are not. I'm just not going to look
at her like she is a high functioning human being ever again!
I get the feeling that she was trying to make nice with him, because
it was like she was saying (by showing him the note), "See
what I did. Wasn't that big of me?" Oh, this is
the precious part of the note - when she was enumerating as to why
I should see her and the family again, she said, "You would
be less lonely since your family lives in ***." I ask
you, why the he!! would I want to deal with these people, even if
I were the loneliest person on the earth? I only just found
out (after his father flew in from out of state, and we talked),
that she had been institutionalized four times while her kids were
young. Had I known this (it was obviously a family secret),
it would have made things so much easier in the beginning.
But, my husband was too ashamed to tell me much about his family
while we dated for 8 years. And, I slowly got the picture.
But, that bit of information would have come in handy. This
is why communication is so important - whether you are ashamed or
not, the person you wish to marry NEEDS to know these things.
Signed - Really Tired!
RESPONSE: Really Tired!
MIL sounds like a psychopath. I am serious. One in thirty
people is said to be one. They lack empathy, play games, hurt
people. They manipulate people for kicks, and then they play
the victim if confronted.
RESPONSE: Really Tired!
You are COMPLETELY Right in your feelings. Don't let that
woman worm her way into your life. She is a termite, and won't
stop till she eats through your bones. Ultimately, her desire
is for your husband to leave you. You know that, regardless
of anything else.
RESPONSE: Really Tired!
Holy maude! Your MIL and mine must be sisters! My MIL
sent the "Here's why I'm hurting" letters. The latest
one was received in December. We drove 10 hours to Cleveland,
and the woman couldn't drive 10 minutes to SIL's house to see her
2 year-old grandson. She sent the letter, telling us that
we're materialistic anuses, and her feelings were hurt during a
previous visit we made in August. Therefore, she held it against
our son. DH steamed the letter open, we read it to SIL, got
a great laugh, and dropped it in the post with "RETURN TO SENDER"
emblazoned on the envelope. Feels *so* good not to speak to
the wench!
RESPONSE: Really Tired!
The next time you speak to your MIL, tell her that you have forgiven
her for any past transgressions against you, you are willing to
start over, and that you hoped she forgave you (THAT IS, if you
really did anything wrong to her, which I don't know). Don't
say much more than that. Make it simple, straightforward,
and then don't discuss it anymore. Then, be guarded against
her. Don't allow her into any private matters in your life.
Don't tell her what's going on at all in your life. Listen
to her, but don't tell her a single thing about your life.
Don't tell her you need her support for birthday parties or anything
else. Just don't act like you need her at all, because you
don't need her. Visit her when it's something your husband
needs to do, but don't have an open conversation with her at all.
Let her talk, but don't really say a whole lot back to her.
For example, if she wants to talk about the past, let her.
But your response should be, "That's in the past, and I'm not
going to talk about that anymore." If she says mean things
to you, simply respond with a laughing, "MIL, I can't believe
you would say such a thing!" But, don't say anything
else, and then leave her presence if it is that offensive.
If she wants to gossip about something or someone (especially other
family members) with you, say, "I'm choosing not to discuss
that." Be closed. Be respectful, but be closed.
It will aggravate her, and you will have done your duty to be respectful
to your family without making yourself a welcome mat! She
may continue to talk about you and try to start things with you,
but don't answer. That way, she's fighting by herself, and
you've chosen not to be a part of the fight!!! YOU'LL WIN!
Best Wishes! SIGNED: Seen My Grandmother Treat Her DIL's
Really Badly For A Long Time, And Will Not Let That Happen To Me.
RESPONSE: Really Tired!
Yes, the info would have helped, and a future spouse NEEDS to know
all. BUT, IMO, there is NO excuse for there to ever, EVER
be physical abuse. That woman slapped you - not once, but
3 times. I would have walked away and never spoken to her
again after 1 time. You must be a saint! But, it still
comes down to the fact that there is NEVER, EVER a reason to raise
your hand in anger to another - and, "in response to what you
said" is the lamest, lowest excuse around. MIL needs
to give you a complete and unjustified apology.
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Worst Gift Stories
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