Worst gift: Two years
ago my MIL gave my 7 year old son a block of cheese for his birthday.
The price of the cheese was $5.69. That was the only thing
he got from her. The next year he got 2 bed pillows.
She has so much money, and I don't understand why she buys the things
she does. For Christmas, I get things from the dollar store,
and gifts that other people gave her the year before. This
year I got a VERY dirty, old, greasy cartoon character stained glass
pitcher that had been sitting on top of the refrigerator.
How can I get her to stop? I even tell her what the kids would
want.
Signed - Very Cheap Gifts
RESPONSE: Very Cheap Gifts
Put it all in a gift bag, and give it back to her on Mother's Day.
ROFLMAO.
RESPONSE: Very Cheap Gifts
Do you think the woman has all her marbles? Not to be disrespectful,
but this stuff is so weird that I wonder if she is deteriorating
mentally. Good luck!
RESPONSE: Very Cheap Gifts
I would have made MIL a cheese sandwich, using the block of cheese,
and then I would have saved it in the freezer to give to her for
Christmas. What a heartless witch!! Maybe you should
save everything she gives you guys in a huge storage container,
and just give it all back to her. Add a nice big red ribbon
on top. It's a shame that she disrespects you and your son
that way. I sure wouldn't spend a dime on her. She's
just mean.
Worst gift: Christmas,
1999, my husband and I had been married for 9 months. We gathered
around the tree, and MIL began passing out presents. She handed
me a nicely wrapped box. I opened it, and inside I found COLD
CREAM!! I did not know whether to laugh or cry! She
kept repeating that her mother swears by it. I was 24 at this
time. Do I really need to use the same remedy that her 80
year old mother uses?? Good Grief! Of course, everyone
else (all her children, I am the only "outsider"), received
lovely gifts. And I just sat and watched everyone open theirs!!
Signed - She's My Monster-In-Law
RESPONSE: She's My Monster-In-Law
To be fair, my own mother used to get me to smear cold cream on
my face at age 12! The old-school moms think this is the way
to keep skin youthful. Maybe she cares for you a little bit.
Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- Kezziah 3 of 4 needed /Posted: 17-MAY-02
My MIL can never seem to remember my last name, and
neither does her sister, even though they both have the same last
name (my DH has MIL maiden name). She has only had that name
for 40 something years. The whole family (or, I should say
most) act like DH isn't even married and with a child, the exception
is MIL's brother and his DW (the only 2 people I consider his family).
Any time DH's family sends something, it is addressed to DH and
son. My email address from before I got married was my first
and last name. But, I changed it when I got married to my
first and new last name. I kept the old one, however, because
my grandmother would forget my new last name right after I was married
(she's in her 70's). My MIL and her sister think they have
to still email me at my old email address (about once a month, and
usually they just forward things and send chain letters).
The old email has been deleted now. I wonder if they will
be surprised. A person in their 70's is allowed to forget
something, but it seems really hard to forget your own last name
for MIL and her sister. It really makes me made. Can
someone tell me how a person forgets their own last name???!!!
The only people from his family who even care about how any of us
are doing (DH, our son, and me) are DH's uncle and aunt. If
it weren't for this one aunt, I would go crazy trying to figure
this family out! This aunt keeps me sane.
RESPONSE: Aunt Keeps Me Sane
I can see why your aunt likes you. You sound like a sweet
woman, and a good conversationalist. I wonder why your witch
of a MIL acts the way she does. She must get it from her own
mother. I bet they even leave you out of family pictures?
I know the type. They think that they are royalty or something.
My in-laws are like that. I guess they think that they are
better than we are, huh?
Worst gift: I have been
married to my husband for 3 years, and we are very happy together.
We don't have kids yet, but we do want them in a few years.
I'm 27 and he's 28, so it's not like it is now or never. My
MIL is always asking when we're going to get her some more grandkids.
For Christmas last year, MIL gave me a trashy lingerie teddy.
It was not something nice, but it was discount store quality, and
trailer trash style. She enclosed a note, and made the remark,
when I unwrapped it, that maybe this would help get her some grandkids,
since, obviously, I was not working on it. His whole family
was there, and I was tremendously embarrassed. I could not
say anything other than a polite "thanks". My SIL
noticed that, about twenty minutes later, I was "still a little
red in the checks", and that it was OK. This was no longer
from being embarrassed - it was RAGE. I spent most of the
day in a back bedroom with a headache, not entirely untrue.
I left the present at her home on "accident". She
mailed it to me the next day. I don't know anyone trashy enough
to give it to, so I threw it out. My husband explained to
her how this had hurt my feeling, but she just dismissed how I felt,
and said that there must be some reason why I was not pregnant yet.
I don't want to explain to her that it's called "birth control",
not celibacy. It has been over four months, and I'm still
mad. I have not spoken to her since, except to hand the phone
to my husband when she calls. Her gift told me that she considers
me needing help to entice her son (I don't). Second, this
"gift" had no thought, is cheap, and the motive is for
her benefit. I have a nice collection of lingerie that works
very well, and I'm built very nicely, so I don't need help in getting
him interested. Third, it's none of her damn business when
we have kids. I've since found out that both my MIL and SIL
were pregnant when they got married. My inclination is to
send her a vibrator next year, and let her open it in front of the
family. But, I don't want to hurt my husband. I hope
my husband inherited more from his late father that his mother.
Now, I see my late FIL took the easy way out.
Signed - Classy Lady
in the South
RESPONSE: Classy Lady in the South
Well, you have my sympathy and commiseration. Have you seen
the posts by some of us who wrote in (apparently this is a common
thing!) about our MILs who gave us their own sleazy "honeymoon"
lingerie? Mine was one of those MILs. She coyly gave
me this utterly cheap dime store negligee that she had worn on her
honeymoon, saying, "I don't know if this would fit YOU.
I was VERY SLIM." I am not heavy; and she's twice my
size! I THOUGHT, but didn't say, "That's ok. I
usually like my clothes in nicer fabrics." Why do MILs
think they have to give us lingerie (especially their own old, tacky
lingerie)? As one poster just wrote a few days ago, who wants
to think of her MIL (YUCK!!) in the BEDROOM? I was very annoyed
with your MIL, reading your post - how irritating. This is
one way not to endear yourself to your DIL (if you are a MIL)!
RESPONSE: Classy Lady in the South
How awful! I am glad to hear that DH called MIL on her despicable
gift. However, please don't send her a nasty gift as revenge.
I think you are half-kidding anyway! Hang in there.
RESPONSE: Classy Lady in the South
You are not alone out there! My FMIL and FFIL are of the same
stock as your MIL. My fiancé and I have been constantly
badgered by them about having children, since six months after we
met. I was still in college then, but that did not seem to
be a problem to them. My fiancé had his degree (and
I should only be thankful if he supported me)! A degree and
a job for me was just a waste, in their opinion. We do not
want children at all, and we both agree upon that decision.
Never once have they asked us if we WANT, or whether we are ABLE
TO have children at all. They just ask us WHEN, and keep slipping
us slimy comments about it. I have been asked by my FFIL to
pull up my shirt for them to inspect my stomach (at one time, they
felt that it must be time for me to be pregnant). FMIL constantly
asks, "Isn't your tummy getting rounder?" I am NOT
fat (some people would even say I am underweight), and we happen
to live in a cold country where sweaters are worn most of the year
(which should account for some "roundness" of shape in
everyone). Several times she has asked me (like she has forgotten),
"How OLD are you, again?", to remind me that it is time
to get pregnant. I was born in the same year as one of her
sons, so why is that so hard to remember? When I answer, she
says, "MY, you are so OLD. How about that!"
And FFIL chimes in with, "What an old HAG!" (I was 28-31
years old at these occasions). FMIL has asked her friends
to help with the nagging (and they do, believe me!). At a
huge birthday party in the family, 80(!) of their friends and relatives
sang songs about how FMIL and FFIL were now only waiting for a grandchild
(and everyone was looking at my fiancé and me). When
I got a job, FMIL expressed hopes that I would soon be unemployed
(to start breeding, of course). She points at children coming
by and says, "Look at that one closely. We want one of
those!" One year, I got a card with a baby on it for
Valentine's Day! No, FMIL is not the sentimental kind who
usually sends Valentine's day cards to anyone. But I suppose
that she couldn't resist when she found that one. FMIL and
FFIL keep bringing my fiancé's old toys whenever they visit,
just to remind us of our "duties". I AM NOT THEIR
BREEDING COW! Well, because of all of this, I don't see FMIL
and FFIL at all. My fiancé can see them whenever he
wants to, but by himself. Believe me, it is the one single
decision in my life that has lead to the greatest improvement of
my life! I sincerely recommend it! The backside is,
of course, that we cannot have a big wedding, as my fiancé
would want to invite his parents to it. Our wedding has been
postponed indefinitely. Well, it is possible to live together.
So why should I stand the humiliation (maybe even at a wedding)
from them, just for the sake of a wedding?
"MONEY-in-law".
I've been married for 10 years, with a 7 year old son. For
about 9 years we had to PAY her for anything we ate in her home.
My FIL is a pastor (thoughts here???)!!!! She is well off
, but incredibly selfish towards my husband and I. His 2 brothers
and their wives are not given this ridiculous treatment. I,
eventually, put my "BIG SIZE 7 FOOT" down and have refused
to pay. Needless to say, we have many OTHER issues, which
I feel helpless at finding solutions to, as I stand alone in this.
My husband is one of those so called "GOOD CHILDREN",
it's GRRRRRRR. He has never been able to stand up to her,
and gets very annoyed when I do. I cannot play this submissive
role forever. The major issues seem to revolve around MONEY,
and her love of it - her budgeting of OUR finances, and constant
poverty pleading before she rushes out to buy yet another expensive,
name brand or luxury item. She is totally self indulgent.
I cannot fathom how a usually intelligent, level headed person can
be so taken advantage of by the woman who gave birth to him.
There was a slight improvement in my husband's attitude after the
birth of our son. I think the hurt he felt as a child came
flooding back. She was TOUCHING MY 2 YEAR OLD'S HAIR.
She said, "This is NOT DH's hair. Why is this hair not
lying flat?" I told her, "He speaks English, you
know," and that his hair is like my hair. SHE WENT ON,
"It must be YOUR hair type - very coarse (in front of my child)."
She's a real classic. I see a psychiatrist (I've CHOSEN to)
as a means of venting my ANGER, as I do not want to be any more
bitter and resentful than I already am.
Signed - MONEY-in-law
RESPONSE: MONEY-in-law
"For about 9 years we had to PAY her for anything we ate in
her home", Gee, I thought my MIL was the only one who
thought her house was a restaurant. My DH told me that when
he still lived with them, he gave them X amount of money, solely
for food. However, if she ordered a pizza and put leftovers
in the fridge, he was not allowed to eat them without paying for
it, at a rate of one dollar per slice. But, she could eat
his leftover pizza without paying for it. I feel for ya!
RESPONSE: MONEY-in-law
She makes you PAY for meals that she invites you to at her house??!!
STOP GOING! Sheesh. Sorry, but I don't understand the
thing about your son's hair. Apart from your inflection, it
sounded like a pretty innocent comment. My mom says things
like that all the time. If they're true, then it's no big
deal. I really don't think that your son is going to be upset
by the fact that his grandma thinks his hair is coarse. Not
that she doesn't have other problems.
RESPONSE: MONEY-in-law
Your poor hubby. He will never be at peace with himself until
he stands up to her. As for PAYING to eat in her home, I simply
wouldn't go over there. And I would NOT let my child be hurt
by her ugly comments. DH should respond to this angle.
Wow, the stories I read
are pretty bad, but I have a triple whammy. Not only do I
have a racist / sexist mother, but also have a pain in the @ss MIL
and step MIL! The MIL is unreal: Highbrow, snobby, in
love with her son and her ex-husband, desperately trying to be 20
again (she is almost 60), overly dramatic, and constantly insulting.
She told me that when she first met me, she was jealous of how I
looked with her son, which made me very leery. But, I paid
it no mind. Then I started to realize that she really was
jealous. She would tell me, when we came over to her house,
"Don't you think it's better if you aren't always together?"
I agreed with her, but what she was saying in reality was, "Can
you NOT come to my house with my son?" This was confirmed
by her later. She is really special. I was in college
when my DH and I first met. I am currently in school to be
a doctor. At a family party (while I was still in school),
I was smiling at a baby, and my MIL very sarcastically told me that
I shouldn't get excited because I have sooooooo much school left.
I explained to her that I was simply admiring. But she decided
to segue that to talk about when she gave birth to my husband, when
he was a baby, etc., etc., etc. She is very irritating.
She is also extremely rude. She and my husband's father have
been divorced for almost 20 years, but not a day goes by that she
doesn't talk badly about him. This makes my husband and I
very uncomfortable, since we like him. She, also, talks about
his wife, even though she has met her only once. She told
my husband that she thought that we shouldn't stay together because
she thought I might be verbally abusive (towards him), and that
my attitude has changed since they first met. Do you wonder
why? When she and my husband got into an argument about what
she said to him, she cried hysterically. She was sobbing and
whining that she was disappointed that he "made the choice",
as if being with me was my ultimatum, which it never was.
I would never make him choose between his family and me, whereas
my MIL did. She just doesn't get that he wants me to be there
when he gets home, and wants me to be the mother of his children,
not her. I don't understand how anyone could make their child
choose between his family and his spouse. This lady doesn't
understand that my husband needs to start his own family, and his
existing family will still be there. My MIL desperately wants
me out of her son's life, but it's a little too late. The
step MIL is pretty bad, too. After five years, she still can't
spell my name right (it's only five letters), and she doesn't care
about my husband or me because we are not the same religion as she
is. In fact, my husband and I were not raised the same way,
and so she treats us as though we are subhuman. Every time
we walk into the house, an air of silence falls, and it always feels
like we walked in just when a fight ended. She treats both
my husband and I as though by just being in her home, we are tainting
her and her two spoiled children. We always feel uncomfortable,
but we try to remain pleasant and make the best of it (for my FIL's
sake - he is a very nice person). I just don't know why he
married two evil wenches. I am grateful that I have a wonderful
husband - one who knows the true meaning of love and marriage, one
who is compassionate and understanding and fair. At first,
he used to listen to his mother about things, but he has grown up
and decided to make decisions on his own. No matter what my
evil in-laws try, I will always love my husband for the truly wonderful
person that he is, and I will never punish him for having such an
insensitive family. He is really a diamond in the rough!
Signed - TRIPLE WHAMMY
RESPONSE: TRIPLE WHAMMY
Gee whiz, I thought you were talking about my MIL for a minute.
I was almost convinced that I wrote this and forgot about it!
My sympathy to you on having such a self-centered old bat for a
MIL.
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