My MIL made the comment
that if I had been a better daughter to my father, then maybe I
would have gotten a better and more extravagant wedding, like her
daughter got (like I'd waste 30,000 dollars on one day anyway).
I told my husband what she said, and I have yet to get an apology
from her. He conveniently forgets to mention it to her when
she asks why I don't like her. Maybe I should email her a
copy of this story. Anyway, my MIL said it in front of my
mother, and now my mother cannot stand her either. Oh well,
my marriage is on the rocks anyway. Maybe I'll get a nice
MIL the second time around. Too bad my daughter is going to
have to be around her for the next 17 years.
Signed - Lovebunny
RESPONSE: Lovebunny
If MIL ever says anything again about "if you had been a better
daughter", I would respond with, "Yeah, well if you had
been a better MIL, I wouldn't dislike you." I am sorry
that it appears that your marriage is ending. Please come
over to the boards if you need to talk more.
When it comes to my
MIL, I don't know where to begin. It all started 9 years ago
when her son and I got married. I was no longer the "great
girlfriend my son is dating" - no, I became the "DAUGHTER-IN-LAW"!!!
Through the years, she has made my life a living ball of fire.
A little after a year past the birth of my first daughter, I was
rushing around the house, trying to get things done while the baby
was sleeping. I was just about to jump in the shower when
I remembered that I had to wash out the baby's bottle. Standing
stark naked at the kitchen sink, I heard someone break out in laughter.
As I turned around, I wished I would die, because it was my MIL
standing in my kitchen! She didn't even have the common decency
to leave. No, instead, she stood there laughing while I covered
what I could, and walked past her to my bedroom! About a month
later, I had been calling our relatives for the holiday, and found
out that my MIL had told everyone in our family about what had happened.
My MIL has tried to ruin my marriage, control our family, and she
hasn't even sent her two granddaughters a card (or a hello) in 5
years. I have done everything I can to make peace with her,
but she refuses to accept me. And further more, she has taken
away a piece of land that she gave my DH and I for a wedding gift.
And, she told my DH that she will give it to him as a divorce gift!
My DH and I love each other very much, and refuse to allow her to
interfere in our lives anymore. The sad ending to this story
is this: My MIL always had to be in control and host every
holiday. She loved having her family all together, and now
she spends her holidays alone! It's too bad she hasn't realized
that the only one who lost here is her!
Signed - Got the Last
Laugh
Worst gift: My worst
MIL gift came on my first Christmas with my husband's family.
I had been shopping with my MIL a few months before Christmas, and
I made the fatal mistake of eating a grape in the store. She
shot me a look, and made a comment about it. A few weeks prior
to that, my DH and I were returning home from a trip and stopped
in a rest area gas station. It was the middle of the night
and nothing was open, so I grabbed an egg salad sandwich from the
shelf. I tasted it to make sure it was fresh, and of course
it wasn't. I wasn't sure if the clerk would try to make me
pay for it since I bit into it, so I wrapped it up and put it back.
Now it was Christmas time, and my MIL decided that we had to guess
our gifts before we would be able to open them. When it was
my turn, she handed me a gift bag. It was wrapped with tissue
paper, so I couldn't see inside. I started to feel the outside
of the bag and shake it a bit. As I was shaking it, this awful
smell came from inside. After guessing for a few minutes,
she told me that I would never guess it, and to go ahead and open
it. Inside there were several items wrapped in tissue paper.
I opened the first one to find some grapes in a bag that had little
bites taken out of them. The second one was a half eaten,
rancid egg salad sandwich. I didn't give her the satisfaction
of opening the rest. Everyone else got normal gifts, and I
was left to be the laugh of her day. Little did she know that
she screwed herself out of getting nice gifts from me. Thereafter,
I started buying the figurines that I had started collecting for
her at holiday time for myself, and I gave her something that I
knew she wouldn't want, and couldn't return!
Signed - Again I Got
the Last Laugh
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
What was your MIL doing in your house without your knowledge anyway?
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
In one way, I don't blame your MIL for doing what she did.
I can't believe that you would think it was ok to take a bite out
of a sandwich in a shop, and wrap it back up for someone else to
buy!!!!!! I feel kind of sick after reading what you did.
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
Yuck! Why on earth would you put a sandwich, that you had
bitten into, back on the shelf? Why not bring it to the attention
of the clerk? Both you and your MIL are in need of some manners.
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
You eat stuff in stores that you haven't paid for? I don't
really blame her for making fun of you. I would too.
Do you know how many germs would be on an unwashed grape in the
store? And, why would you bite a sandwich and then put it
back? That is disgusting. Basic manners should prevent
you from doing such things. I would have been horrified had
I seen someone behave that way.
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
Thank God she's not my MIL. I probably would have resorted
to violence!
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
It was a horrific present that she gave you, but I would not want
to be the person who bought that sandwich after you did. There
are ways of figuring out if something is fresh, and they don't involve
tasting the item. I can understand why she was appalled at
your behavior.
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
Although I agree that your MIL's gift was childish and stupid, I
must say that I found your behavior a little questionable as well.
I think that almost everyone has eaten a grape in a store - no big
deal. But, to take a bite out of a sandwich, realize it had
gone bad, wrap it up, and put it back??? I feel that this
is strange as well. I mean common sense should have told you
that they aren't going to make you pay for it, but the nice thing
to do would have been to bring it to the store clerk's attention.
I am not trying to be mean, and your MIL does seem a bit off her
rocker, but I still think that what you did is strange. Good
Luck!!
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
Good grief, how tacky can you get? No, dear, I'm not talking
about your MIL, I'm talking about YOU. While Christmas isn't
really the most appropriate time for her to have tried to "teach
you a lesson", I really can't totally fault her for it.
Taking a bite out of a sandwich and just putting it back on the
shelf is DISGUSTING! I mean, did you really expect to find
a gourmet meal at a gas station? Give me a break!
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
Even though your MIL's gift to you was totally wrong, what you did
was absolutely disgusting. Taking a bite out of a sandwich,
and then wrapping it up and putting it back on a store shelf is
just plain tacky.
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
Wow! Sorry to hear that she did that to you! Isn't it
sick how our in-laws feel it necessary to humiliate us! You
know, my SIL and BIL used to walk around our house and look in our
windows. So, I got shades and curtains that weren't easy to
see through. My MIL told people that I am paranoid, and trying
to hide in my house!!!! Yeah, right lady!!!! Maybe we
all would just like a little bit of privacy and security in OUR
OWN HOMES!
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
Wow, you sound like a nightmarish MIL-in-training!
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
I do not understand why your MIL felt the need to be your "judge
and jury" in such a way. It sounds like she is a pretty,
rotten person herself. But, I also do not understand your
actions. Do you do realize that you were wrong in both of
the incidents that you mentioned before you told us about the gifts
you got? What you did both times was dishonest. Doing
it in front of such a MIL was like waving a red cape in front of
a bull. I don't mean this in a mean way, so please keep that
in mind as you read this. It sounds like you and MIL are pretty
well matched. It sounds like you will give as good as you
get from her. So, that should help you feel better.
Good luck.
RESPONSE: Again I Got the Last Laugh
Although I don't agree with your MIL's gifts, tasting food and putting
it back on the shelf is disgusting. Shame on you.
Worst gift: This is
a classic of my MIL. I got nothing - no card, no call saying
happy birthday, not one thing. It was not even an afterthought,
because I thought that in a couple days she would call and tell
me that she forgot. But, I got NOTHING. I wasn't looking
for a gift, but if she has no money for a gift, she could have called
me (for goodness sakes) and wished me a happy birthday. Some
of you might not think that it is too bad, but that's not the best
part of the story. Keep in mind that my birthday is in May,
and hers is in September. That same year, her birthday fell
on a weekday. Knowing I work two jobs and so does my husband,
we worked around our schedules to get to her house in the evening,
because it was her 50th birthday. She was nowhere to be found.
We had a cake and presents for her also. After "tracking"
her down, she was extremely mad at us because we did not contact
her sooner. And, she thought that we "forgot" that
it was her 50TH BIRTHDAY!!!! Who is forgetful again????????????
Signed - Forgetful Birthday
Wishes
RESPONSE: Forgetful Birthday Wishes
Do you mean she owes it to you to be home on her birthday, when
you haven't planned ahead with her to come over? Maybe she
had other plans! I don't think you have the right to be angry
with her for not being home when you decided to stop by. My
ILs do that on my birthday. They come by expecting a party.
I'm not somebody who likes a big fuss on my birthday. I wish
I could trade their behavior with your MIL's behavior. We'd
each appreciate it more the other way!
RESPONSE: Forgetful Birthday Wishes
I agree that her ignoring your birthday is inexcusably rude.
But, did you call ahead and tell her you were coming, or did you
just drop in? It's not too much of a stretch to think that
she might have made plans to go out on her 50th birthday, and wouldn't
be sitting around the house. However, if she was having a
birthday party, she could've invited you, if she wished.
I'm so lucky.
I have TWO mothers-in-law. My DH's parents were divorced when
he was in high school. My SMIL is okay, just a little different.
She NEVER shuts up. All she talks about is doctor visits,
future doctor/dental appointments, medications, the illnesses of
my ILs, and the medical conditions of everyone else she knows.
I kid you not when I say that this goes on for hours. I asked
her once, in astonishment, if everyone she knew was sick or dying.
She didn't get it. She just said, "It sounds like it,
doesn't it!" She talks incessantly about people we don't
know. We spent one entire meal listening to her talk about
some friend's daughter's boyfriend. We don't know the girl
OR her family, much less the boyfriend. It's just so weird!
One time, after she had gone through the medical list, she turned
to the little country newspaper they get. She asked my FIL
if he knew some lady who was in the paper. He told her, "No,"
he didn't. She said that she didn't either, but this woman
had died, and her funeral would be the following Tuesday!!???
Help me. My husband's teenage son lived with us. He
had moved in with his father four months before the wedding.
A very, very sweet boy - he'd grown up in a pretty small town, and
we were living in the heart of a city of 4 million. He's easily
led, and started hanging out with the wrong crowd in school.
I was so worried about the choices he was making. My SMIL
had been a high school teacher, and I asked her if maybe she could
give me some advice. It was just the two of us sitting at
the table. I told her everything that was going on.
I also told her about how concerned we were, and that we just didn't
know what to do. She sat there listening, without saying a
word. When I finished, there was a small pause, and then she
said, "Well, what I want to know is if you think you will see
your BIL and SIL before Christmas. If so, then I'll just send
their Christmas presents back home with you." That was
it! I was floored. I listen to her stories and make
comments or responses, but if I tell her anything, it's like I'm
not there. She's done this on little anecdotal stories I've
told her, like things I've heard or read - and on some pretty major
things (like the stepson problems). The two of us were driving
into town one day, and she was running yet again through the medical
list. I told her that I was kind of having a scare.
I'd been going through a lot of tests and MRIs because the doctors
thought I might have a brain tumor. SHE DIDN'T SAY ONE WORD!!
My DH is starting to see it, and just doesn't get it. Between
his psycho mom, his unusual step-mom, and his domineering dad, I'm
not having a very good time with family visits! Oh well, the
things that really matter work out. My stepson is almost done
with his second year of college, and is doing very well. I
don't have a brain tumor, and the sweetest, kindest man in the world
loves me. "Into each life some rain must fall."
I just sometimes feel like the rain for my darling and me is more
like a Texas flood! I just laugh a lot. And, since we've
been married, my husband has started to do the same. Together
we'll survive!
Signed - Fed Up To Here
RESPONSE: Fed Up To Here
My MIL sounds a lot like your SMIL! She too, is morbidly fascinated
with her own and other people's diseases and medical problems, and
prattles on and on about them (including extremely graphic, personal
details that can turn your stomach). It always astounds us
how she will tell us the complete biographical and medical histories
of people we've never even met - like someone she ran into in the
supermarket, or her friend's cousin's sister-in-law's hairdresser!
If we tell her we're really not interested in these perfect strangers'
sicknesses, she'll stop for a minute or two, then launch back into
it. Of course, we must always show interest in hearing about
her OWN problems, which seem to be never-ending. My DH and
I also have learned to just laugh about it and limit our time spent
with her, in order to maintain our sanity! I sympathize with
how frustrating it must be for you - my MIL also cannot "share"
a conversation with anyone - it's always one-way. I wonder,
even though she didn't have anything to say to you about your possible
brain tumor, if she turned around and gave the "report"
to someone else! I do understand that as people get older
and have more medical issues themselves, they naturally have an
increased interest in these things. But, this level of interest
is RIDICULOUS!
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