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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
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February 2, 2003
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JANUARY
2003
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FEBRUARY
2003
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Worst gift: Last year,
for Christmas, I found the perfect gift for my husband - a new fax
machine to help with the business he was starting. I was so
excited that I told my MIL (I know - dumb, dumb, dumb!). We
opened gifts at MIL's house, and guess what she had gotten him?
You got it - a fax machine. Never again will I tell her what
I am getting him!
Signed - Never Again
RESPONSE: Never Again
Oh pleeeease. That is just tacky. Is she competing with
you here? You are the wife.
RESPONSE: Never Again
I can't begin to understand why she'd do that.
RESPONSE: Never Again
How stupid is she? Now DH will just have to go to the trouble
of taking hers back!!! LOL!
RESPONSE: Never Again
She was probably hoping that your DH would pick the fax machine
she got him over yours. Good for you, deciding not to give
her any more information.
RESPONSE: Never Again
Easy fix. Act all surprised - then with your DH's okay, swap
it for something else. Budget something that you want, not
something that DH wants.
RESPONSE: Never Again
Wait till you get kids. She will buy their first dolls, trucks,
etc. I would let DH know that she did this, and remind him
that when the kids come along, he should not mention any BIG items
you might want to get them. And, he should TELL her that FIRSTS
are off limits to her with the grandchildren. Good luck!
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Worst gift: In 17 years,
I have not yet gotten a Christmas gift that wasn't used. Yes,
I can name them. My DH always gets a nice gift or money (about
$100). I have spent time and money trying to find good gifts
for her. One year, she gave me a plaque of the 10 Commandments
(used) with dried catsup on the back, wrapped in used paper.
My daughter got the curling iron with hair in it. My son got
the used board game with pieces missing.
Signed - Fed Up And Giving
Back --- The Same
RESPONSE: Fed Up And Giving Back --- The Same
Gross. I hope you plan to give her some used toilet paper!
How does your husband put up with this?
RESPONSE: Fed Up And Giving Back --- The Same
The board game isn't the only thing in this story that has a few
pieces missing.
RESPONSE: Fed Up And Giving Back --- The Same
Eeeewww, what an awful thing for her to do. Why not buy some
nice gourmet foods, eat half of the jars, and then wrap them up
and give them to her for Christmas? Then, you can see how
she reacts to being given a dose of her own medicine.
RESPONSE: Fed Up And Giving Back --- The Same
It is pretty nasty of her to give you such things, but even worse
to do it to your children. I hope you haven't put so much
thought into her gifts for all 17 years because she doesn't deserve
it. I say, give her used TP next year!
RESPONSE: Fed Up And Giving Back --- The Same
Is that some kind of family tradition? Our family tradition
has included both new and used gifts, but hers sound particularly
horrible! Just quietly give them to charity - or throw them
away.
RESPONSE: Fed Up And Giving Back --- The Same
I would recycle these gifts and give them back to her. I wouldn't
want her to miss them, especially the curling iron with the hair
on it. It's obvious that these were cherished items!!
LOL. Seriously, though, I really hope you have quit putting
the effort into gifts for her. Put the effort back into your
own family.
RESPONSE: Fed Up And Giving Back --- The Same
I would be so offended. Your dumb @ss DH lets his mother treat
his family that way. NO WAY, JOSE! You both need to
tell MIL that she should get the kids a little something, and not
worry about you two. If she gets used items for your son again,
take her aside and tell her that she is a cheap b!tch for hurting
her GC's feeling with a used piece of junk. How TACKY!!!
RESPONSE: Fed Up And Giving Back --- The Same
Don't worry, my MIL does the same thing. She volunteers at
a food pantries and brings home stale nuts and stuff that no one
needs. She wraps them up and gives them to us as gifts.
Or, she will buy clothes and stuff off the clearance racks for the
kids. She buys enough for the next 3 years for them.
By time you get them, they are not in style anymore. She's
also a pack rat, and I get claustrophobic when we have to go to
her house. So much junk laying around! UGH!
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Worst gift: My future
MIL is moving - YIPPEE! But, in the course of her selling
her house she has unloaded all of her cr@p, that she couldn't sell
at her garage sale, into my fiancé's car. And, he,
in turn, brought it to our house. Well, our Christmas gifts
were there also. For her only son she bought a ceramic holder
of some sort (honestly, we don't know what it is supposed to be).
It is too small to be a bread holder, and too big to be a cookie
jar. Into the dumpster it went! Then, he turned to me
and said, "You have a gift too," and he brought out a
wrapped present. I asked if I should open it now, and he said,
"Yes." Inside there was a plastic wrapped, five
piece set of pastel colored padded satin hangers. And the
outside was dusty because, obviously, it was in her closet for years
and just surfaced to find it's way into my Christmas dreams - yeah
right! So, top that. I think I will open the package,
re-wrap the hangers individually in tissue paper, put them all in
a gift bag, give them back to her, and exclaim, "Oh, what a
coincidence! Merry Christmas!"
Signed - What A Coincidence
RESPONSE: What A Coincidence
Way to go!!! LOL. Let us know how that goes! I'd
love to see her face!
RESPONSE: What A Coincidence
Come on, you guys! You don't have to be mean about it.
Satin hangers are not a hateful gift. I wish I had more of
them myself. Just because she's disorganized, doesn't mean
she's a wicked, horrible person.
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My story is complicated.
My husband and I have been married for 2 1/2 years now. We
both have children from a previous marriage. I'm not sure
if this is going to make much sense to anyone. My MIL has
pretty much raised my husband's son. She won't let go and
let us raise him. She continually comes to his rescue.
If he forgets his snack for school, he calls her and she brings
it to him. If he runs low on lunch money, he tells her and
she gives him a check for lunch money. If he gets scared in
the middle of the night, he calls her and she comes over in the
middle of the night, when we are all sleeping, and comforts him.
To make this story even more interesting, my stepson has a conduct
disorder, and we have been led to believe that MIL is the one who
is to blame for this. He gets whatever he wishes from her:
clothes; video games; games; special trips and activities.
I have tried to stop this treatment, because it is not fair to the
other kids in the house. Also, he believes that the world
LITERALLY REVOLVES AROUND HIM!! We fear that if things continue,
he is going to have major problems when he is older. Stepson
is her only grandchild, other than the two step-grandchildren.
But, she hardly even acknowledges them at all. MIL doesn't
like how I treat stepson She thinks that he needs tenderness.
We treat all the kids the same way, with love, respect, and of course,
with expectations. Expectations that they do well in school,
treat people and animals with respect, not use fowl language, and
avoid violence. They all have consequences when they misbehave.
We try to make things as fair as we possibly can. It is difficult
when MIL is in the picture. My husband and I have been in
a parenting group and family therapy for a few weeks now, and we
have talked about this situation over and over. We have asked
MIL to help us by not coming to stepson's rescue and giving him
everything his heart desires. She said that she would.
The next day, he called her, complaining that he didn't have anything
he liked for snacks. So, she went and bought a whole bunch
of different things for him and brought them over. My husband
said that he would talk to her, and we would just blend them in
with our things, and he would never know. Stepson called her,
as soon as he got home and she told him that she bought him all
these goodies. We try not to banish her completely out of
his life. She is very important to him. He thinks of
her as his mother. But, if things do not improve soon, I think
I will put up a for sale sign out front and move far away.
To top this all off, she sent me an email (which she hasn't for
months) that said, "YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK." What
a b!tch.
Signed - Going Crazy!!
RESPONSE: Going Crazy!!
I think stepson is playing you all.
RESPONSE: Going Crazy!!
You should have responded to her email with this: "At
least I'm not the missing link."
RESPONSE: Going Crazy!!
Why has she raised your DH's son? How does she get into your
house in the middle of the night? Why isn't your DH's son
in counseling with you?
RESPONSE: Going Crazy!!
You are a wonderful person. Don't go crazy, because I'm in
the same boat and know exactly how you feel. Don't let her
drag you down. Signature: Living With A MIL from He!!.
RESPONSE: Going Crazy!!
"Conduct disorder" my fat butt! It sounds like he
needs a swift kick in the @Ss! And, tell MIL that she is NOT
to do any of those things anymore. And, if she persists, then
you will get a restraining order! No more checks, snacks,
or anything!
RESPONSE: Going Crazy!!
Ok, you guys are to blame here too. You do not have to let
her into the house in the middle of the night. If she has
a key, CHANGE THE LOCKS! You need to tell your SS that the
calls to granny and the whining STOP NOW! You are the parents,
not her. ACT LIKE IT!!! Tell the school that without
your permission, granny is not to drop off things or see your SS.
Take charge! Where are your DH's balls, BTW?
RESPONSE: Going Crazy!!
As a stepmother I can tell you your husband must put a stop to this
immediately. Yes, it sucks when a child is permitted to act
in that manner, and it is completely unhealthy. It is a control
thing for her, and she has now taught the child the same.
I do not know the age of the child, but you and your husband must
brace yourself for years of trouble. Call your DH several
times a day and ask him to bring you something. Tell him that
the coffee is not very good at work, and that the donuts are not
fresh, etc. Do this every day for two weeks. Make him
see how unhealthy it is for anyone. What type of husband,
father or man does your DH expect his son to be if he can whine
about snacks and someone jumps? Mark my words - his son will
be into drugs. Move if you can.
RESPONSE: Going Crazy!!
I think you need to take the steps to remove the phone. Why
is he being allowed to call her all the time? In the middle
of the night? Put the phone up at night. Your stepson
needs to be weaned off this, also. Perhaps you can block her
phone number? I am glad that you and your husband are in family
therapy, and that you both can be in this together. You both
need to set up boundaries for your MIL. Good luck.
RESPONSE: Going Crazy!!
It sounds like she's dysfunctional. She NEEDS your stepson
to need her. She is not helping him by encouraging such extreme
dependence on her. And, her rude e-mail to you was too much.
She's a wretched, screwed-up woman, and it's sad to see that because,
at her age, what are her chances of growing and changing?
I'm sorry you have to be subject to that.
RESPONSE: Going Crazy!!
MOVE away. Obviously MIL will never let go or cooperate.
She will continue to spoil this boy. Move out of her daily
reach, but encourage her for short visits (no longer than a week)
to keep a relationship with the boy (hopefully in a more grandmotherly
relationship). And, take this child to counseling too - maybe
that will lessen his unnatural dependence on this woman. And,
where's the birth-mother? And her family? Don't they
have a say? Encourage their input here, as well as other relatives,
to dilute this woman's influence. Good luck.
RESPONSE: Going Crazy!!
You can go to all the therapy sessions and parenting classes in
the world, but, face it, nothing whatsoever will change as long
as MIL is in the picture. You must sever all contact between
her and your entire family now! For way too long she has treated
DS like the perfect little puppy that does tricks for a treat.
But, bear one thing in mind, when DS gets in trouble because he's
a spoiled brat who expects everything to be handed to him on a platter,
it will be YOU and DH, not her, who will suffer the backlash.
You must protect DS from her just as surely as you would protect
him from a venomous snake.
RESPONSE: Going Crazy!!
That kid is going to be very messed up if you don't do something
about your MIL now. I think it's your DH's responsibility.
It's not easy, but then raising a child isn't easy. He really
needs to take some action.
RESPONSE: Going Crazy!!
I'm sure this must be a frustrating situation for you, but you really
need to get this woman to butt out of your life. It sounds
like she is using the stepson to fill some desire that he has to
feel needed or important, and, as such, is not able to control her
actions, even though what she does is harming him and his relationship
to you and DH. You and DH need to take back control of your
family, banish this woman if need be, and hopefully forge a better
relationship with stepson once MIL is not able to continually undermine
your authority. Rocky roads are ahead, but you've got to do it!
RESPONSE: Going Crazy!!
All I can tell you is that if she doesn't stop, you're going to
end up with a monster!! Maybe you can get a restraining order
against her. You can also block her number from your house.
No one can call her, and she can't call you. It is a thought.
I hate meddling MILs!!
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Working Women Don't Have Wives