|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Mother-In-Law Stories
|
February 14, 2003
|
|
|
|
JANUARY
2003
|
|
S
|
M
|
T
|
W
|
T
|
F
|
S
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
FEBRUARY
2003
|
|
S
|
M
|
T
|
W
|
T
|
F
|
S
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
My MIL has been a widow
for over 20 years. I treated her like royalty. She continuously
overprotects some of her kids to the point of suffocating me and
some of the other family members. She goes with the wind!
She is stubborn, and is not sincere when she apologizes for her
verbal abuse. My in-laws can't appreciate and respect me or
what's outside of the box. My SIL will protect her mom's insecurities
at all cost. They told me that I didn't have the same family
blood. I've been married for 20 years. They can't accept
me as a person with my own thoughts.
Signed - They Can't Accept
Me
RESPONSE: They Can't Accept Me
My only question is, if they can't accept you, why have you accepted
their behavior for 20 years?!?!? You deserve much better.
RESPONSE: They Can't Accept Me
So, be your own person with your own thoughts, and to he!! with
them. Don't give your ILs that much power over your life.
RESPONSE: They Can't Accept Me
Just hold that "you're not family" line in the back of
your mind for when they need a favor, and then throw it back at
them. Don't let them get to you.
RESPONSE: They Can't Accept Me
I think the problem is that when we treat people too well, they
treat us like cr@p. We think that just because we treat them
well, they will treat us the same way in return. I think that
it's time to start not treating them better than you treat yourself.
Put yourself first.
RESPONSE: They Can't Accept Me
Well, it's a good thing that you don't need their acceptance or
approval to have a happy life. Why spend time with people
who make you miserable? Life is too short to endure horrible
treatment from people who don't like you. Write them off,
cut them out, and focus on being happy. You don't need them.
RESPONSE: They Can't Accept Me
The next time they pull the "blood" defense, tell them
you'd LOVE to have their blood, but that the cost of cleaning the
carpet would be prohibitive.
RESPONSE: They Can't Accept Me
I've just about had it with reading that DILs are "accused"
of not having the same "blood", as though it were some
sort of a crime. The next time they pull that cr@p on you,
remind them that the contrary would be a crime against nature.
And, secondly, YOUR family tree has branches, unlike theirs, which
grows in a straight line. If you're feeling really wicked,
ask them if their parents were closely related.
|
|
Worst gift: My MIL showed
up, for the third time in a year, to see her only grandchild (but
they are at SIL's almost every weekend). She brought wrapped
gifts. They were not from her, but they were all really nice
gifts from her friends and her SIL. The only thing that she
gave my son was a 9 month size short set (he was wearing size two)
with the $1.97 tag still on it, and some socks. But, she didn't
want my daughter to feel left out - her "step-granddaughter"
- so she presented me with a gift that was nicely wrapped.
My daughter, who is 8 (and exceptionally easy to please), was delighted,
as her new baby brother had been getting a lot of gifts. She
unwrapped a used, puke green, queen sized old blanket. She
hadn't even laundered it! My princess graciously said, "Thank
you." To add insult to injury, MIL harassed me for not
sending thank you notes for the gifts. I told her that her
dear son knows all of these people, and I will remind him again.
Signed - Looking Forward
to Christmas If My SIL Invited Us
RESPONSE: Looking Forward to Christmas If My SIL Invited
Us
Tell her to talk to her son, or does he not know how to write?
RESPONSE: Looking Forward to Christmas If My SIL Invited
Us
Your daughter was clearly raised right. Now she should send
a thank you card, "Dear Granny, Thank you so much for the blanket.
It must have meant a lot to you to send me something that you have
had for so long. I will think of you every time I use it."
In the future (and from experience) purchase gifts ahead of time
for your daughter from the old b!tch, and give them to her.
RESPONSE: Looking Forward to Christmas If My SIL Invited
Us
Why not send a "recycled" thank you note. Take an
old one, cross out the name of the sender, write in MIL's name,
cross out the signature, and then sign it with yours. If cruddy,
used gifts are OK, then so should a used card be.
RESPONSE: Looking Forward to Christmas If My SIL Invited
Us
Why would you WANT to spend Christmas, or any other holiday, with
MIL and SIL?? I can't imagine it would be anything but a bitter
disappointment for all of you. Why don't you just shrug off
these losers, who don't give a d@mn about you, and enjoy lovely
holidays with your own family? To heck with them!!!
They are the ones missing out. If you get the cold shoulder
from MIL, at least you can be grateful that she isn't meddling in
your business or nagging you to come by every weekend. Believe
me, it would be much worse if she were!!!
|
|
I thought that I was going
to get along just fine with my MIL. Things seemed to be going
well. Then, all the sudden, she appeared - the MIL from he!!.
She is always right. You can not get a word in. And,
if you do, she does not listen, or asks you to repeat yourself over
and over. She tells the same stories a million times.
She never has a kind word to say to me. Then, there is the
dreaded talk about how, "We wish he would have married his
high school sweetheart because she was like family."
If we are not talking about how wonderful she was, then it is a
girl that he dated for about 6 months, and how she fit right in
with us. Now, tell me, why would a sane, caring person say
these heartless things to her DIL? My favorite comment was
about a good friend of mine. My kind MIL (ha) wanted to know
why my friends liked me so much. She said it to my face, in
her "I can't image liking you" voice. The worst
part of our so called relationship is how they have plenty of money,
yet they pretend that they do not. I hate that so much.
They should be honest and say, "Hey, we know y'all are having
a hard time, but we are not going to help you. We really do
not care if our grandchildren have a home or food to eat.
We are going on a trip and coming home to start building another
custom built home on the coast. And, move outta my way you
consignment shop junkie, who does great for what you have."
Signed - They Should
Be Honest
RESPONSE: They Should Be Honest
Their finances really are none of your business. But, she
is a nasty wench for asking you why your friends like you.
Why wouldn't they? They are friends.
RESPONSE: They Should Be Honest
Your MIL is an @ss, and I wouldn't give her the time of day.
But, something else bugs me, too. Why do you think that your
MIL and FIL should give you all money? Can you not support
yourselves?
RESPONSE: They Should Be Honest
The amount of money they have is none of your business. The
two of you are responsible for your own children. With that
said, why is your husband allowing her to speak to you in that manner?
Why are you accepting her behavior?
RESPONSE: They Should Be Honest
Now, why would they be honest with you and their son about not wanting
to help you two? What would their son think of them???
Honestly, I wouldn't want a dime from these types of ILs.
There are many other things I'd do before I'd accept anything from
my ILs!!! My DH and I have had hard times, and NEVER have
we asked the ILs for help. My MIL has already made up a story
about how she helped us out one time. I can imagine the load
of bull she'd tell people if we ever actually went to her for help.
RESPONSE: They Should Be Honest
Remind the old biddy that the ex-girlfriends may have been LIKE
family, but that you ARE family. As for your friends liking
you, tell her that people see what they want to see. BTW,
where is DH in all this? Cat(ty MIL) got his tongue?
RESPONSE: They Should Be Honest
Well, I hate your MIL for you. But, you might be lucky that
she doesn't give you any money. Some of the posters here can
tell you that having in-laws who give you money bring about (more
often than not) a whole new set of problems. Then the ILs
think that they can use that to control you. You're better
off, I think! I sympathize, too, about the MIL who can't imagine
that anybody likes you. Mine seems the same way. I think
that your MIL is awful to talk to you the way she does, and hope
you have the chance to avoid her as much as possible. Hang
around with those friends who do appreciate you.
RESPONSE: They Should Be Honest
I hope it felt good getting that off your chest. Don't take
the insults without standing up for yourself. You don't have
to start a battle or hurl insults back, just look MIL-from-HE!!
straight in the eyes and say, "It can't possibly be that you
don't know how insulting and unpleasant that comment was, can it?"
You don't need her money, and you SURELY don't have to take her
rotten mouth!
RESPONSE: They Should Be Honest
Your MIL sounds like she doesn't like you. That's too bad,
but what can you do? Some people just aren't very nice.
If you don't like the things that your MIL says to you, don't spend
time with her. But, I don't like how you criticize your ILs
because they aren't giving you money. Parents are not obligated
to help their children financially, so you really have no right
to complain about what they choose to do, or not do, with their
money. It's not THEIR responsibility to feed and house your
children. It's YOURS. If you really are in danger of
not being able to feed or house your children, you've got bigger
problems to deal with than MIL stories.
RESPONSE: They Should Be Honest
Your MIL doesn't sound much like a sane and caring person to me.
I found it funny that your MIL asked you why your friends like you
so much. A while back, my MIL asked me why people liked me
so much while we were in the car with my husband driving.
When she asked me, I just shrugged and blurted out that I'd often
wondered the same thing about her, and was surprised that she had
any friends at all. My husband started laughing so hard that
he almost drove us off of the road.
RESPONSE: They Should Be Honest
You are a selfish, greedy DIL. To quote you, "The worst
part of our so called relationship is how they have plenty of money".
And they won't share with you. Ohh, boo hoo. You made
the children. It is your responsibility to take care of them.
It is their money to do with as they please. I hope that they
spend it all so that you don't get any of it. Better yet,
I hope that your DH opens his eyes and sees that you are only after
their money. As for the other part, I do feel badly for you,
and that is the worse part. Too bad that you don't see it
that way.
|
|
Of the many, many, many
money issues that have come up with my FMIL, Christmas has taken
the cake. Because we have just moved, money is tight, and
DF and I are expecting our first child on Dec. 24. We announced
to everyone that we would only be buying presents for our nieces
and nephews this year. No one had a problem with this, except
for FMIL. She looked at me like I had grown antennas, and
said, "No, I am getting a present from you two this year because
(DF) didn't get me one last year." Now, maybe I was raised
differently, because I would never, ever, imagine that someone would
feel that they had the right to demand a Christmas present.
Not only that, but I was taught that Christmas was a time for giving,
not receiving, and I already felt lousy that I wasn't going to be
able to give gifts to everyone. So, I consulted FSIL, who
is the only sane IL that I'm inheriting in this deal. She
informed me that in the past years, when money was so tight that
she couldn't afford presents for her own children, FMIL has been
completely insulted because she didn't receive a gift on Christmas,
or that her gift "wasn't good enough". So, I decided,
fine, if I have to get this woman a Christmas present just to keep
the peace, then it's only fair to get gifts for FSIL, FFIL, and
FSMIL as well. And, I would get some things for my family.
I decided that I'd put a ten dollar limit on the gifts, so it won't
break us. Now, I am the absolute queen of putting together
cool gifts from discount stores - stuff like baskets with puzzles,
mugs, and hot chocolate mix, or bath stuff and candles - little
indulgent things that people like, and I like doing it. The
last time we visited FMIL, I mentioned that, since she and DF had
some work around the house to do, I was going to go get some Christmas
shopping done. FMIL asked me where I was going to go, and
I said, "Are there any dollar stores around anywhere?"
FMIL told me that yes, there were, but not to buy her present there
because, "(a certain off price department store) always puts
their Waterford on sale after Christmas", and I could just
buy her that instead. WTF? Here I am, nine months pregnant,
waddling around all these stores, trying to find nice stuff that
isn't going to break the bank because this woman DEMANDED a Christmas
present, and then she has the nerve to ask for WATERFORD CRYSTAL?
I wouldn't spend that kind of money on MYSELF, and I certainly wouldn't
expect anyone else to! So, about a week later, FMIL called
me to inform me that FSIL can't afford to buy presents for her children
because of her husband's gambling problem. I love FSIL's kids
dearly, and the thought of them having no presents under the tree
on Christmas just broke my heart. Every kid deserves a nice
Christmas, especially when they are as young as these kids are.
So I said, "Well, I guess they'll just get a few more presents
from us this year." And FMIL said, "No, don't go
spending your money on them. FBIL made this mess, and it's
their responsibility. Besides, you two have your own money
troubles to think about." This from a woman who just
TOLD ME that we were going to get her WATERFORD CRYSTAL for Christmas.
Needless to say, someone will be very disappointed this Christmas,
and it's not going to be FSIL's kids!
Signed - She Just Made
My Naughty List!
RESPONSE: She Just Made My Naughty List!
Oh, please, please write and let us know her reaction.
RESPONSE: She Just Made My Naughty List!
I hope that you bought FSIL's kids more gifts and left MIL out!
What an old bitty!
RESPONSE: She Just Made My Naughty List!
Why did it take three slaps in the face until she wound up on your
naughty list? It is good to hear that you finally woke up,
though.
RESPONSE: She Just Made My Naughty List!
I sincerely hope that she received a cheap, plastic imitation of
crystal, and that you break it before you give it to her.
What a #$%%&!
RESPONSE: She Just Made My Naughty List!
You sound like an intelligent, loving person. You made one
mistake in my books - even considering buying that ungrateful selfish
woman a gift. It is the thought, and Christmas is for the
children. Stay strong and don't back down.
RESPONSE: She Just Made My Naughty List!
OMG! How can this woman's values be so twisted?! The
next time she mentions Waterford, tell her that you couldn't possibly
spend money on something so pricey and frivolous when there are
children in the family who might go without presents, and that you
expect her to support you in that. If not, tell her to take
it to DH and LEAVE YOU OUT OF IT.
RESPONSE: She Just Made My Naughty List!
Another MIL who makes gift giving a friggin' fiasco at Christmas!
My goodness. She doesn't know what Christmas is about, does
she? Kudos to you for choosing to spend your money on FSIL's
kids. I agree, Christmas is for kids. Tell MIL to GROW
UP.
RESPONSE: She Just Made My Naughty List!
I think it's time for your MIL to grow up! I agree with you
that the children come first, BEFORE the ADULTS!! I hope you
didn't get the selfish witch anything for Christmas!!! Grow
up, MIL!!!
RESPONSE: She Just Made My Naughty List!
Your MIL makes my naughty list, too! What a b!tch!!
Now you know what to get her for future Christmas' - nothing!
Good for you for doing the right thing for your SIL's kids!
RESPONSE: She Just Made My Naughty List!
Do you intend to give your child everything that he/she asks for
just because he/she throws a tantrum? No? Then why do
it with MIL? Inform her that she will be treated like an adult
when she starts to act like one.
RESPONSE: She Just Made My Naughty List!
Your MIL is the limit! What is wrong with her, thinking that
someone who can't afford it can get WATERFORD CRYSTAL for Christmas?
Stick to your guns! Don't let anyone bully you into total
dysfunction. I'd be thrilled to get a present like the ones
you described - it's a great idea! Keep your gift-giving sanity,
even though you're being bombarded by INsanity by your MIL.
She really wins the selfish award.
RESPONSE: She Just Made My Naughty List!
I am shocked by it, and can not think of what to say to a person
like that. It is amazing that they exist. Make your
husband deal with that unbelievable being. Do not purchase
a gift for her, EVER! And, let her know that her son is responsible
for purchasing ALL her gifts in the future. As a mother whose
grandson just turned one before Christmas, I knew that money would
be tight (they did not have to say a thing to ANY family members).
I asked for photos, and explained that I did not want professional
photos. I wanted photos taken in my grandson's every day world,
knowing that they have a digital camera and would only be out the
cost of photo paper.
RESPONSE: She Just Made My Naughty List!
Good for you! Next year, when your MIL gets upset that you
did not buy her Waterford Crystal for Christmas, make sure that
you let her know why. You thought that making HER GRANDCHILDREN
(your nice and nephew) happy on Christmas was more important.
Just let her know that your conscience told you that it was the
right thing to do. If she squawks, which you know she will,
she will make herself look like an immature, spoiled brat who would
take away Christmas presents from her grandkids. Make sure
that she knows that although money was tight, you did leave something
in the collection plate when you went to church. Let her know
your priorities with money (and her Waterford Crystal isn't one
of them, unless it's an urn).
RESPONSE: She Just Made My Naughty List!
Good for you! Your MIL sounds like a nasty old extortionist
- the worst sort of immature, spoiled brat, but adult enough to
know how to really hurt those who don't do what she wants.
If I were you, I would just flat out declare that from now on, you
will be buying Christmas gifts only for the kids in the family,
and encourage everyone else to do the same (i.e., just get something
for your baby, not for you and DH). Then, just stick to it,
and let the cards fall where they may. People can only manipulate
you if you let them.
|
Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
received will be posted as early as our resources will allow.
Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then posted, all at
once, to the original story page about one week later (one set of responses
posted per day). Stories and responses will no longer move from
page to page based on status.
|
|
|
Working Women Don't Have Wives