|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Mother-In-Law Stories
|
February 20, 2003
|
|
|
|
JANUARY
2003
|
|
S
|
M
|
T
|
W
|
T
|
F
|
S
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
FEBRUARY
2003
|
|
S
|
M
|
T
|
W
|
T
|
F
|
S
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
My MIL is the worst.
When we found out that we were expecting our first child, she told
us that she wanted nothing to do with the baby (her first grandson),
would not take care of him or buy ANYTHING for him, and that she
would never love him. Four months later, my SIL announced
that she was expecting her third child, and my MIL was all over
her, showering her with presents and love. My MIL even had
the gall to say that she hoped I lost my baby so that my SIL would
have the first grandson. She never apologized or asked to
see my son once he was born. Then, out of the blue, she called
us and declared that we all had to be at my SIL's house on Christmas
morning by 7 am. We live 4 hours away. She is not only
stupid, she is insane.
Signed - Cocidius
RESPONSE: Cocidius
She no longer exists. Period.
RESPONSE: Cocidius
You didn't go, did you? Oh, please say no!
RESPONSE: Cocidius
Please, please tell us that you declined her, uh, "kind invitation".
RESPONSE: Cocidius
What a crazy bag she is! How does your hubby feel about this?
Why are you pandering to her? I'd tell her to take a flying
leap.
RESPONSE: Cocidius
You didn't go, did you? And you don't have anything to do
with her, right? If you still do, after all of that, you are
a fool.
RESPONSE: Cocidius
I hope you didn't show up at her demand, or that would be pretty
stupid and insane!
RESPONSE: Cocidius
After her comment about losing the baby, your response to her Christmas
demand should have been, "Who are you, and why are you calling
me?"
RESPONSE: Cocidius
I hope you didn't go! Finish the story! I hope your
husband was just as offended as you were at MIL's rudeness.
RESPONSE: Cocidius
You know, they get older and realize that they will be all alone
So, they try to force the people whom they have been cruel to to
come back into their miserable lives. It's really pathetic.
RESPONSE: Cocidius
So, did you go, or what? I think that if someone told me that
they hoped I lost my unborn child, I would never speak to them again.
I hope you have nothing to do with the hate-filled old hag.
When she gets old and senile, ship her off to the most wretched,
filthy, vermin infested nursing home you can find.
RESPONSE: Cocidius
That really breaks my heart. It's sad that someone like that
would want to spoil one of the best moments of your life.
And, for her to say that out of spite or jealousy is so damned cruel
hearted. It's not a contest. I hope that your son is
happy and healthy, and that you are truly blessed. Take care
of each other.
RESPONSE: Cocidius
That is absolutely horrible. I would NEVER speak to that awful
woman again. That is just about the worst thing that I can
think of for someone to say to a pregnant woman. I just lost
a baby myself, and the idea of wishing that on someone makes me
sick. I certainly hope your DH had a LOT to say to her about
what she said.
RESPONSE: Cocidius
You also should have declared that she kiss your @ss, never call
you again, and take her imaginary crown and staff and use them to
demand that the other poor idiots really give a sh!t what she thinks
and wants. Your husband is the one who needs to say it though,
not you. If not, you say it and kick husband to the curb for
being such a wuss.
RESPONSE: Cocidius
I just hope that your husband is supportive and sees how evil his
mother is. I can't believe how awful your MIL is and that
she would do and say the things she did! I hope that you have
not given in to her!
RESPONSE: Cocidius
What an awful situation. How could she say those things to
you? What did she say her reason was? Not that there's
any excuse in the world for acting like that. I hope you didn't
knock yourselves out to go to be with them on Christmas.
RESPONSE: Cocidius
Your MIL sounds like a fire breathing, blood spitting demon from
the depths of he!!. Heartless doesn't even describe her.
I am so sorry that you have been treated so shamefully. It
always sadly surprises and shocks me to read such horror stories.
KEEP YOURSELF AND FAMILY AWAY FROM HER AND HERS. PLEASE!!!!
You do not deserve such abuse.
RESPONSE: Cocidius
MIL expects you to drive 4 hours to worship at the feet of the golden
child, after telling you that she wished you would lose your baby?
You're still being too nice by calling her insane. Mean, petty
and vindictive would fit much better. Frankly, the only thing
you need to lose is her, and pronto.
RESPONSE: Cocidius
You need to seriously tell that woman to f---- off!!!!!! You
need to tell someone like that never to call or bother with you
again. You don't have to keep her in your life just because
she's your husband's mother. She's not your mother.
What is your husband doing about this? How could you just
let her say things like that, and not tell her to fall off a cliff,
never to return. Sorry, my DH would be history if he had let
her act in such a way towards you and your pregnancy. I would
have no respect for a woman who wished me harm during my pregnancy
and thought that it was so friggin' important that the first son
be born by her own daughter. What is up with this entire first-son-being-born
thing? We, as women, need to start showing our importance
by not letting these idiots from the dark ages think that they have
a staff and a crown. Your problem is with your husband, because
he is the one to be dealing with his own parents, not you.
Dr. Phil even did an entire episode on momma's boys, and how they
need to step up to bat as a man to their own parents, and stop letting
the wife take care of it all. So, what is your husband doing
about this idiot whom he calls mom - the one who talks to his wife
like she is cattle, and dirt on the bottom of her shoe.
RESPONSE: Cocidius
Really, why would you WANT that woman to take care of your children
or buy them anything?!?!? I would change my number and not
give it to her! Better yet, move, and don't let her know where
you went!! She sounds horrible. I can't imagine having
anything to do with someone so nasty. Have you ever confronted
her about her behavior? When she told you that she wished
you'd miscarry so her DD would have the first grandchild, THAT might
have been a good time to say something. If I were you, I'd
let her know just how evil she is, and then cut off all contact
with her. She is a monster!!!
RESPONSE: Cocidius
I hope you did not go. Please safeguard your sanity and provide
a healthy, happy environment for your child by banning her from
your home until she reconsiders (which I doubt she will).
But, you have to understand that her physical absence, in itself,
will not guarantee your happiness. You have to be strong,
and not allow her to manipulate you or play mind games with you
from afar. You have to quit caring about her opinion or bizarre
behavior - that's the only way you'll be truly free of her madness.
I hope your husband is fully supportive. He should be, considering
that it is his son she is belittling.
|
|
Worst gift: No gift
from MIL. DS got a few things that were too young and too
old for his age. DH got a few things that he wanted.
Me, I didn't even get a Merry Christmas. Gave MIL a lot of
things. DH got a ton of Thank Yous, but I never got one.
Of course, DH thinks that I am overreacting and/or imagining things.
Signed - The Imaginer
RESPONSE: The Imaginer
Next year, let DH shop for her gifts. It'll serve him right!
RESPONSE: The Imaginer
Ask him to help you open your imaginary gifts from Christmas.
Then allow your DH to imagine that you are buying all future gifts.
Then he can imagine that you are listening when he asks why you
did not buy gifts for his family. And last but not least,
tell him that you do have a vivid imagination because you have to
keep imagining that you are happily married to a wonderful stud
who is supportive of his wife.
RESPONSE: The Imaginer
You are overreacting, because you were PURPOSELY looked over and
snubbed??? Is your DH insane? I would give DH a swift
kick in the @Ss Tell him that, he either tells his deranged
faaamily that they need to acknowledge you and be polite, or no
more contact. If he doesn't, then tell them yourself.
DH can do whatever he wants, but the child is also YOURS.
I would not allow my kids around toxic people like that.
RESPONSE: The Imaginer
Don't sweat it. Next time, just don't expect anything from
her and you won't be disappointed. I don't think she's being
very wise about her gift-giving (but, your son can grow into the
gifts that are too old for him, right?). But, just don't sweat
it. Next time, let your DH get the gifts for her - that's
what we do. Then, when she thanks him and not you, you won't
feel so badly. If you expect these things and decide to let
them roll off your back and just keep trying to be a good person,
it might help you.
RESPONSE: The Imaginer
Don't get MIL anything for Christmas next year. She's your
DH's problem. He should get her a present. It isn't
your job. Take the money that you would have spent on that
ungrateful witch, and treat yourself to an afternoon of luxury at
a day spa. You deserve some pampering for having to put up
with that MIL of yours. Secondly, have your family either
not get him anything or get him something outright insulting - whatever
you can think of that might push a button with him. Tell him
that he is imagining things if he gets insulted.
RESPONSE: The Imaginer
Why do you give her lots of things when she gives you nothing??
You are not overreacting to being hurt and insulted by a MIL who
gives gifts to everyone but you, even if the gifts are lousy.
She is being deliberately disrespectful, and you and DH are just
sitting there, giving her more gifts, taking her garbage.
Why?? DH is "The Imaginer" here. He is imagining
that everything is OK between you and MIL, when, clearly, it is
not. You need to call him on his behavior. DH needs
to support YOU and not make excuses for his mother's bad actions.
You both need to establish a healthy adult relationship with MIL,
one where you both aren't afraid to speak your mind and call MIL
on her actions when she does something rude. And, stop buying
her gifts! If you aren't going to get a gift from her or any
thanks, then make DH do the shopping, and expend your energy on
people who deserve it!
|
|
Worst gift: I can't
really say that my story is a joke, unless of course, you want to
say that it's on me. Every year my SIL gives me some kind
of junk that I can't use. I end up throwing it in the trash.
This year she gave me one of those "book lights".
It's one of those gifts that you get free. You know the kind
of cheap cameras or watches, whatever. All you pay is S&H.
Well, I went over to MIL's house for Christmas dinner. My
SIL got my husband an expensive shirt and dress pants. She
gave me the book lite and hard chocolate candy. I can't eat
them because they are so hard, and I have dentures. So, I
have to eat soft foods. I declined desert at my MIL's house
because I wasn't feeling well, and I'm glad that I did. I
don't how I would have responded to my SIL. They have a guest
who comes every year for a holiday meal. She always gives
me cologne, but I can't wear perfume or cologne because of a disease
that I have. So, when I saw these things last night I actually
sat and cried. My MIL always gives me money, or a gift that
I want. She takes me shopping to buy whatever I want that
comes to the amount that she's giving me. That's great of
her. Now my daughter gives me junk too. She's married,
and she expects me to give her nice things, used or new. She
doesn't care (as long as it's what she wants and she likes it).
I've just spent $50 or more on her for clothes at a thrift store,
because she's pregnant and they don't have the money to buy maternity
clothes. These are really nice, and not cheap by thrift store
standards. I give her money (not much, but some when she needs
it). So, she gave me a plate that she must have spent 25cents
for at a yard sale. I don't mind used either, but get something
that I can use. I've told her time and again, but she does
the same thing. The plate had something written on it.
It doesn't even have a stand. Something about mothers was
written on it. She told me on the phone that if people didn't
like what she got them for Christmas, that's their problem.
Don't you think that hurt me? My other kids didn't even get
me a card. That hurts. My daughter could have gotten
me a pair of socks or underwear at the dollar store. That's
at least something that I can use. I've told her "no
more knickknacks". But, every year she gets them.
But, this time she got the lowest that she could find. I don't
know what she got her step-dad, my husband. He didn't bring
it into the house last night. He said that he forgot it.
He left it in the truck and didn't bother to go get it. Hmmmmmm,
I wonder. What my SIL gave me had a silent message, and my
daughter's gift did too - no caring or respect, and no love (at
least on my daughter's part). After last night, I don't care
anymore about my SIL. She won't get any more tears out of
me, or hear about it from my husband. Do they get some kind
of thrill by hurting me, or what? And, trust me, my daughter
knows that it hurts. I have a notion to give it back to her
on Mothers Day, only with the stand, and see how she feels.
I don't know where to find a stand though. Thanks For Your
Time.
Signed - Lilangel
RESPONSE: Lilangel
Sad story. If I were you, I would give the cheap, tacky gifts
back to the people who gave them to you this Christmas. I
would add up all the money that you were going to spend on them,
and buy something for yourself. If you get comments on what
you bought yourself - I would hold my head high and say, "Thank
you. It is what you all collectively bought me. A gift
I would have chosen for myself." Remember, the kind of
people we attract is dependent upon the candle we light! Walk
like a millionaire, talk like a millionaire, act like a millionaire,
and people will think you are a millionaire and treat you with the
respect you deserve. Good Luck.
RESPONSE: Lilangel
Why give her a stand with the plate? Give it to her the same
way she gave it to you, and in the same paper. Do unto others
as you would have them do unto you. Evidently, these two disrespectful
women would like to get the same thing, as they did it to you first.
I would be ashamed to admit that I would treat my parents this way.
It's disgusting, and you should take any money you would give your
daughter and spend it on yourself and your DH. And, when she
ask what you got her, tell her, "I got dad and myself something
from you." If she doesn't learn and grow up, then you
have done all you can. Get tough and tell her "NO",
it is for her own good.
RESPONSE: Lilangel
You poor thing. I'm sorry that these people have hurt you
so much. Your SIL sounds like an insensitive, thoughtless,
cruel and cheap B!TCH! Sorry, but your daughter sounds awfully
self-centered, clueless, immature and tacky. She sounds like
an @sshole too! Sorry for the colorful language, but it always
burns me up to read stories like this. And, listen, don't
give any regard to those who will tell you that "gift giving
is a choice" and "you should be thankful" for the
useless cr@p that someone so lovingly selected for you. BS!
Your SIL knows you have dentures. Shame on her for purposely
giving you hard candy like that! That's like giving a diabetic
a pound of sugar cane. And, your daughter, what's up with
that? Kick your SIL to the curb and DO NOT allow her to hurt
you again. Don't give her the time of day. You may want
to have a deliberately frank discussion with your daughter, and
express that you would rather not exchange gifts in the future.
Take the money that you would have spent on them and use it for
yourself. It will feel great. Your MIL sounds like the
only decent one in the bunch! Hope you feel better soon.
RESPONSE: Lilangel
I would not buy you anything either. All you do is complain.
In your own words you stated that your DD did not have much money.
Yet, when she found you a gift that pertained to being a mother,
you COMPLAINED. Book lights are not free. You would
have b!tched if your children bought you items from a thrift store.
And, what type of mother were you that your own children do not
want to buy you a gift?
RESPONSE: Lilangel
You sound like you want to dictate to everyone what they can and
cannot give you as a gift. Yes, that's right, a *GIFT* - something
that is never, ever expected, but only graciously accepted when
it is given. Your daughter found a plate with "something
about mothers" on it. Maybe, at the time, she thought
it was a sweet gesture to let her know how much you mean to her.
None of the gifts that you say that you received are in any way
inappropriate. And, it is up to you how much you decide to
spend on other people - they are not required, in any way, shape,
or form, to reciprocate with the exact same amount.
RESPONSE: Lilangel
Big hugs, and sorry that your feelings got hurt. I hope we
can make you feel better. I, too, have been given presents
that are so NOT me that I've cried - even quite expensive ones.
But, I think of it this way: I think gifts aren't really a
total reflection of how someone feels about you (or how much they
understand you), but gifts also reflect turmoil or peace in the
giver's life. If they're depressed or going through a chaotic
time, they aren't going to be able to get it together to give great
gifts. Sometimes, the gifts say more about the giver and what
he or she is going through than anything else. Get yourself
the things you want, and don't depend so much on gifts to be what
you like or make you happy. You're putting too much pressure
on the gift-giving. It's not supposed to be an obligation,
it's supposed to be "icing on the cake". I think
it's sad that gift-giving (and it's been this way for me, too) is
so miserable. Somehow, we aren't looking at it right!
But, be the gift-giver to yourself that you wish other people would
be - that might cheer you up. And, concentrate on how you
feel about other people, rather than how they feel about you.
They might be so wrapped up in their own problems that they aren't
even thinking of you. Take good care of yourself! Next
time, just don't even expect great gifts from these people.
And, don't let anyone pressure you into "spending til it hurts"
on them - that's not fair.
RESPONSE: Lilangel
Your daughter gave you a plate with something written on it about
mothers. Maybe she was trying to express how she loves you.
Then, you say that your SIL could've gotten you socks? You
say that your daughter doesn't have money for maternity clothes,
then you put down the idea that she only probably spent 25 cents
on the plate? It sounds to me like you can't be pleased.
I'd be happy that my daughter thought of me at all!
RESPONSE: Lilangel
Your daughter saw a plate with something about mothers on it and
gave it to you? Was it a nice sentiment that perhaps reminded
her of you? Did you even bother to read it? I, personally,
love when people get me antiques and collectibles. Your SIL
got you a booklight. I've seen them for sale at book stores.
It's not the most expensive gift, but don't assume that it was free,
unless you know that for a fact. And, an avid reader might
appreciate it. Maybe she thought that you read a lot.
It is thoughtless of your other children not to get you a gift at
all, but maybe you are too critical of the gifts you do get.
The only gift you mention that you appreciated was money.
And, if you give in order to get in return, maybe it is better not
to give at all. I certainly don't mean to sound harsh, but
if someone was critical of every gift I got them, I probably wouldn't
try too hard. We all get gifts that don't exactly suit us,
but unless you know for a fact that the thought behind the gift
was malicious, maybe you should just give a gracious thank you,
smile, and buy your own plate stand.
RESPONSE: Lilangel
Try not to take it to heart so much about your daughter's gift giving.
I'm sure that she thought a plate saying "mother" on it
would be something sweet to give her mum, and that was all.
I highly doubt it was a jibe at you. Would a pair of dollar
socks really have made you happier, or does this run deeper?
I wonder. Maybe the 2 of you need to sit and chat, or perhaps
do your Christmas shopping together in the future and point out
things to each other that you'd like to receive. Hence, ensuring
a nice day and a decent gift.
RESPONSE: Lilangel
You sound very sad. Don't let gifts get you down. Just
accept them graciously, and don't fret about what it is or isn't.
And, don't let people get you down, either. You and DH should
enjoy life, and don't worry about everyone else. Good luck.
RESPONSE: Lilangel
Your story was very sad. I can tell that you are hurting about
the way some of your family members treat you. My advice would
be to focus on your SIL and DD's behavior towards you, aside from
gift giving. Some people are just terrible at buying gifts.
If SIL and DD are respectful and kind to you most of the time otherwise,
then I would just toss the gifts you get, and don't worry about
it so much. If, however, they are rude and unkind to you most
of the time, then why are you bothering to get them gifts, give
them money, etc.?? Your SIL, you can just avoid, but your
DD's behavior troubles me. She seems very ungrateful and demanding.
Why do you give her money and buy her things? If she is old
enough to have a baby and her own family, then she is old enough
to take care of paying for it without sticking her hand out to you
and expecting you to solve her problems. She will continue
to be rude and demanding as long as you put up with the behavior.
Rather than sending her a stand at Mother's Day and stooping to
her level, why don't you confront her about how her behavior makes
you feel, and tell her that you are not going to put up with her
rudeness any longer? She needs to stand on her own feet and
find out how. I'm sorry that you are feeling so down.
I have children, two with severe allergies, and it has taken literally
years for my in-laws to get "the message" about not wearing
perfume, not giving them foods they are allergic to, etc.
They only do better now because I put my foot down - hard.
Do your in-laws, perhaps, not realize that what they are giving
you is no good to them? I honestly don't think I would have
known that someone with dentures couldn't eat hard candies.
Perhaps she thought that you would suck them? It's the sort
of ignorant thing I would probably have done, not knowing any better.
I'd have hated it if that was taken the wrong way. It doesn't
sound like your SIL is a very practical gift giver. I assume
that you live by yourself at this point? If so, you don't
need a book light, which is just a consideration device for partners.
I hope it's just thoughtlessness and not personal. *hugs*.
RESPONSE: Lilangel
When she sees how tough it is without mommy to bail her out, then
I think you will see that she will come to appreciate you, and all
the things you have done for her in the past. And, maybe she
won't be so greedy and grasping towards you. Good luck!!
You deserve to be happy, so stop letting other people make you unhappy!
RESPONSE: Lilangel
I am sorry that you get such bad gifts. But, keep in mind
that there are some women here who don't even get acknowledged on
their birthdays, let alone Christmas. By the way, if your
daughter can't afford maternity clothes(a necessity), then why are
you getting in such a huff over what she buys you as presents?
RESPONSE: Lilangel
I am at a loss for words. Why do you tolerate people treating
you like a doormat. I know that there are two sides to every
story, and all I have to go on is yours. However, I cannot
understand why you continue to treat your daughter like a princess,
giving her money, buying her things, etc., and she turns around
and treats you like dirt. You continue to subject yourself
to abuse, and as long as you do, you will certainly get it.
You really need to build some self-esteem and be a little more assertive.
Respect yourself!!!
RESPONSE: Lilangel
I'm sorry, but you sound more than a little spoiled and ungrateful.
Any time one of my children give me something with a poem about
mothers on it, I read the words, and I am so happy that they feel
that way about me. Your MIL gives you great gifts, no one
says you and your SIL have to like each other. Next year,
give her a gift comparable to what she gave you this year.
RESPONSE: Lilangel
You must stop complaining about the gifts that your own daughter
gives you. No matter what the gifts are, you must accept them,
and look for the love in them, for she is your daughter. She,
obviously, doesn't have a lot of money. If you actually think
your DD would give you a gift solely to hurt you, I think you need
to talk to a counselor about this. For your own sake and for
your happiness, talk to a professional to help you get to the root
of your feelings. Maybe then you can see the ways that you
might handle disappointing situations and find the silver lining
in them. Please get help. You are important, and you
deserve it.
RESPONSE: Lilangel
Most definitely give that plate back on Mother's Day! And,
don't buy her anything anymore. She can do what the rest of
us do - rely on herself. Then she'll appreciate the little
things in life, like all the nice things you did for her in the
past.
|
|
Worst gift: I may not
be able to top these bad gift stories from MILs. In fact,
the witch that I detest isn't even my MIL yet, but she is one stingy,
deceitful old bat whom I wish would disappear for good. Every
birthday and Christmas is the same - the old witch expects nothing
but the best for her family and son, yet does nothing to return
the favor. This year was no different. I spent countless
days obsessing about what to get her, finally finding the perfect
gift at the very last moment. And what did I get in return?
A cheap, tacky wallet costing no more than $10 at the local discount
store. At least it beats the he!! out of her Christmas gift
two years ago which consisted of a cheap, plastic angel ornament
(broken) that was bought at the local dollar store, a book which
she had passed along to me after reading it herself, a scarf which
looked to me to have been used, and some cheap candy which wasn't
even in gift type package, but simply thrown in last minute.
Geee, thanks mom, you cheap, old bat. Meanwhile, all of the
gifts (which have cost me a bloody fortune, considering I have always
been on a tight budget at this time of year (who hasn't?), yet were
tasteful and no doubt would be greatly appreciated by others) were
tossed aside and rarely used by her. She claims to like me
and care for me, and she wants me to call her mom (since she thinks
of me as the daughter that she never had), but I find it hard to
believe. Just once I would love to have her and her husband
put aside a little more and present me with a Christmas gift which
I don't have to fake a reaction to. Considering all that I
have done for them and have given them, it's the least they can
do. Yet this dragon has the nerve to stare me down and give
me the evil eye whenever her son receives some nice item for his
birthday or Christmas, and she doesn't get any birthday gifts from
me. Why should I bother? In all the years that I have
known her, I have yet to receive anything for my birthday other
than a cheap dollar store card which she doesn't even send through
the mail in order to save 48 cents! Her birthday is coming
up right after New Year's, but she is getting nothing from me!
I have been too giving over the last few years, but the buck stops
here! If she can't be bothered to put some of her precious
beer money into better gifts for "the daughter she never had",
then she can kiss my hiney!
Signed - Fed Up and Unappreciated
RESPONSE: Fed Up and Unappreciated
So, do NOT buy her gifts ever again. Or, go to a thrift store
and buy them.
RESPONSE: Fed Up and Unappreciated
I had a MIL just like that. The cure? Very simple -
buy her identical gifts to the ones that she buys you, and say,
"I just knew that you would love it or you wouldn't have bought
me the same last Christmas"/birthday, or whenever. She
will soon get the message. Enjoy doing it as well. You
can laugh your @ss off later.
RESPONSE: Fed Up and Unappreciated
It sounds like you already have a game-plan for dealing with MIL.
IMHO, you should/could A: Give her gifts that match the value
of the ones that she has given you. B: Give her nothing
in the future. C: Tell her nicely that you'd rather
not exchange gifts. If she is just thoughtless and tacky,
you will probably never see an improvement. If she is being
malicious, then you may make her mad. But, at least you have
spoken your mind. It's too bad that we sometimes can't hand
select our own presents. But, if her choices really bother
and insult you, then speak now or forever hold your peace.
It won't usually get any better. Good luck!
RESPONSE: Fed Up and Unappreciated
Wow, you sound lovely. No wonder she thinks of you as "the
daughter she never had". Why don't you just give her
cards for birthdays and things, if your present-exchange goes so
badly, and neither of you likes each other's presents anyway?
My MIL gives me great presents (we've both screwed up in the present
department sometimes, but basically she does a good job), but that
doesn't mean that she likes me or thinks of me as the daughter she
never had. I practically have anxiety attacks just thinking
of her. Presents aren't everything!
RESPONSE: Fed Up and Unappreciated
So, if in all the years that you've known her she does this to you,
why do you put yourself and your wallet out there for her?
You've pretty much been setting yourself up for failure, since you
do already know what a b!tch she is. She'll never change,
so it's up to you to do so. In my opinion, which you can certainly
take or leave, don't even try anymore. Don't buy her anything.
When I married, I made it clear to DH that I would not be playing
the role of dutiful wife who buys all the gifts for his side of
the family. He did so before we married, he can do so now.
You've already set the precedent of doing it, so calmly tell your
DH that you gladly pass that odious chore on to him, and sit back
and enjoy your free time and money. It's not your obligation,
because I, personally, think that we have no obligation to buy for
ungrateful, mean people, even if we are somehow related to them.
RESPONSE: Fed Up and Unappreciated
She sounds like a controlling harpy. If she can't be bothered
to give you anything decent, then why on earth are you going to
any lengths to find her something nice?!?!? You are just setting
yourself up to be disappointed. I wouldn't buy her a thing
if I were you. If you must get her something, just get something
generic like a basket of jams or cheese, or something like that
(something that you'd give a business associate or a stranger, that's
about all she merits).
RESPONSE: Fed Up and Unappreciated
About time. The problem is that you had been giving with your
heart. But, suddenly, time passed, and you were giving because
you felt you needed to. That is not the reason to give - to
anyone. As soon as that happens, the magic is gone from the
gift, and it is a waste of time and money. Good luck, and
spend your time on people whom you want to spend your time on.
If MIL really loves you like a DD, not receiving a gift should not
matter to her.
|
Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
received will be posted as early as our resources will allow.
Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then posted, all at
once, to the original story page about one week later (one set of responses
posted per day). Stories and responses will no longer move from
page to page based on status.
|
|
|
Working Women Don't Have Wives