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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
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March 18, 2003
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FEBRUARY
2003
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Help. I need advice.
What a mistake we made by moving so close to my in-laws. They
are driving me insane. When I say close, we live door to door.
She is a very sweet person, but my god, she lives too close.
She knows everything we do. She will call me before she goes
somewhere, or she will meet me at the door and see where we have
been. She is in and out of our house all day without notice,
and it's gotten worse since our daughter was born 8 months ago.
She doesn't even consider that we have our little family and we
want our little lives. I guess she thinks that we live so
close together that we are all one big happy family. When
she talks to people at church or other places, she uses word like,
"Yeh, that's our baby." Gosh, I hate that.
She treats her 2 sons like they are still babies. Someone
help before I go insane.
Signed - Before I Go
Insane
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- Violet, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 18-MAR-03
Within a month of DH and I moving out of state, MIL
was calling and asking when she could come for a visit. She
would whine about missing her son, ask if he was homesick, and if
it was terrible to live there. At the time, DH didn't think
it was weird and didn't see a problem with it. I told him
that it was understandable for her to miss her son, but that she
was going to have to learn to let go. We stalled her for a
few months, and then she called to TELL us when she'd be there.
We had 3 weeks to get ready. When she arrived, she clung to
him as if he'd just come back to life. It was really quite
creepy. It's not like she hadn't talked with him on the phone
several times a week. She said "Hi" to me, walked
into the apartment, and put her stuff in our room. We only
had one bedroom, so we let her have it. We slept in the living
room. The visit that first evening went pretty well.
She and DH visited. She fawned over him, and I kept the coffee
brewing. The next day, DH had class, and I was left to entertain
MIL. It was the beginning of the worst week in my memory.
According to my MIL, everything was all wrong. The kitchen
was set up in a weird way (how can you stand to have that there?!?).
I didn't have the right foods. The place was a mess.
I had too much soda pop around. I didn't play a card game
the right way. My job was only part time. Oh, and of
course, "You've gotten heavier." I hadn't, but I
got the feeling that she'd actually have liked it if I had.
Then, she'd look even smaller in comparison. This went on
all week while DH was at class, never when he could witness it.
I was making dinner the second night, and asked her if she'd like
what I planned to serve. She said that it was fine.
At the table, she proceeded to pick it apart, because she was allergic
to an ingredient. She didn't bother to tell me. I asked
her why she didn't tell me that she would be allergic to dinner,
and she said that it wasn't any bother to pick out the bad stuff.
DH thought it was kind of her to not trouble me with a special request.
I thought it would have been kind of her to help me make dinner
pleasant, instead of dangerous to her. The rest of the week
is a blur of walking on eggshells, dodging veiled insults, and trying
to defend myself. I went to work, and would then go to a friend's
house for a while, just to avoid the MIL glares and sneers.
I remember joining a conversation and getting that "intruder
alert" look from her. I remember that look from junior
high school - a lot about my MIL reminds me of Jr. High. I
thought that when she finally left, it would all go back to normal
and we'd be fine. That wasn't to be. It turned out that
my MIL had a few complaints about me that she shared with DH while
I was at work her last night there. I had apparently been
terribly rude and distant all week. I clammed up when she
tried to "get to know me". I told hubby that I didn't
think trying to rearrange the kitchen, and grocery shopping for
good food, was getting to know one another. He told me her
side of that story. She was helping me with the kitchen.
Oh, silly me, LOL. We argued off and on for a couple of weeks
about the littlest details of MIL's visit. It really caused
a stir. When we were finally ready to go back to our home
state, I had mixed feelings. I wanted to be back home and
see our friends and family - just not my MIL. I was really
dreading living near her, and we had a place all lined up - only
30 minutes away. The job DH had lined up was only 10 minutes
from her house, and that would start a whole other problem.
Signed - Violet
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
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My MIL is always saying
that I am ugly. It may be true, her son is better looking
than I am. But, does she have to rub it in? We don't
have any children yet, but she says that if we do, her son's beautiful
genes will be canceled out by mine.
Signed - Not Ms. Universe
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
WHAT A WITCH!!!!!
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
It's doesn't matter what she thinks. Obviously, her son doesn't
think so. Hasn't anyone told you that beauty comes from within!?
It may be hard for you to ignore her, but try to distance yourself
from horrible people like her. Good Luck!
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
I am sure that you are not ugly! Don't let it bother you.
Your husband married you, so there must be some attraction there.
Don't go on in your life thinking that you are ugly. I am
sure that you are beautiful, and your children will be lovely too.
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
Well, I hate to say it, but I think that I am better looking than
anyone in my husband's family. My husband and I had our first
child together 3 months ago, and she came out looking EXACTLY like
my husband. She is the most beautiful baby that I've ever
seen, and I'm not one of those mothers who thinks that their kids
are better looking than everyone else's. I have 2 older kids
from a previous relationship. In fact, I'm the first to point
out if one of them is going through a "goofy" stage.
So, you never know, maybe your kids will look just like you and
be absolutely beautiful!!!!!! And you can stick it to her!!!!
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
Take up for yourself, and beat her down! Never let anyone
talk like that to you, especially an in-law.
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
You are not alone. My mother declared that my boyfriend was
ugly, and she did not want me to marry him. She was afraid,
like your MIL, that we would have ugly children. I thought
that DM's behavior was immature beyond belief. Obviously,
I found BF attractive, or I wouldn't have been in a relationship
with him. Regardless of BF's objective appearance, you would
think that people who are older are also wiser, and that they know
that looks are not the most important thing. Apparently, one
can be shallow at any age, as my DM and your MIL demonstrate.
So far, it looks like DM's fears were groundless anyway. BF
and I got married, and some years later we had a child who is so
cute that strangers stop us on the street to tell us how cute he
is. Tell your MIL to grow up and not to worry.
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
Why are you so self-defeating? Who is to say who is better
looking???? What does your DH say to this? To me, he
must be pretty ugly himself to allow his nasty, ugly mother to talk
like that? I would divorce myself out of this family!
That is terrible!
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
Obviously, your husband thinks that you are beautiful, otherwise
he wouldn't have married you. Tell your MIL that true beauty
comes from the inside, not the outside. Don't take her comments
to heart. Everyone is beautiful, no matter what they look
like.
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
The first thing that comes to my mind is partly childish, but I
would get an awesome makeover - hair, make-up and wardrobe (you
can do it on a budget). Then rub her face in it.
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
Tell her that this is the most rude, tactless thing you've ever
heard a person say, and that you wonder how her son ended up being
such a lovely person with her around. At least your spirit
is beautiful enough to know when to keep quiet. What a $%&$.
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
I'm sure that you have good genes, too. Beauty is all in the
eye of the beholder. Obviously, your husband thought that
you were a knockout woman, in his eyes, or he wouldn't have been
attracted to you. Don't be so hard on yourself. Women
are always overly critical of their looks. I'm sure that you
are a beautiful woman inside and out! Pay no attention to
your MIL's jealousy. Remember, your husband chose to spend
his life with you. He had no choice in picking his mother,
however!
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
OMG, tell that b!tch that she would do much better to have concerned
herself with the inner ugliness she exudes by being so pointlessly
cruel and hurtful, than with your outer appearance. Where
is DH? Why isn't he putting this awful, nasty, crude excuse
for a "woman" in her place?
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
You need to seek professional help. If your self esteem is
that low, you need counseling. Your MIL knows that you have
low self esteem, and she is using it against you. When you
get help and begin to believe in yourself, you won't let that woman
talk to you the way she does. But, first, for yourself, the
happiness of your marriage, and the overall quality of your life,
you need to seek professional help and begin to consciously undo
whatever damage has been done to you for you to believe that you
are not attractive. Listen to the words of Christina Aguilera's
song, "I am beautiful", over and over and over to begin
with. YOU are beautiful.
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
Where is your DH when MIL is saying this garbage? Most importantly,
what does he think of it? DH needs to be the one telling MIL
to stop this verbally abusive behavior. Frankly, if it were
me and DH refused to do anything, I'd very strongly tell MIL to
shut up, and point out how rude and immature she is.
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
And your husband allows her to talk to you that way?
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
What a nasty woman. Maybe you should make some sort of remark
about how you know where DH got his looks from, and smile at FIL!
He has two sets of genes as well, so use it. Next time she
makes a comment about how your genes will cancel out his good ones,
say, "Well, your genes obviously didn't cancel out FIL's.
DH is really handsome!"
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
I think that your DH should step up to the plate on this one.
What does he say? Why does he allow your MIL to say such mean,
nasty things?? In the meantime, I would not talk with her.
If possible, don't talk to her at all. Do not chat on the
phone, in person, on email - nothing. Try to keep DH by your
side if she is not saying this stuff in front of him. Now,
I seriously doubt that you are really ugly physically, and personally,
she sounds WAY uglier. Bitchy people ARE ugly!! So,
you married a Brad Pitt - big deal. He, obviously, thinks
that you're gorgeous, because he fell in love with you and married
you. You need to stand up to that gorgon of a MIL. She
is just trying to keep you down to make herself feel superior.
Stop her in her tracks. If she says, "You're ugly,"
come back with something like, "And, you're bitchy - what's
your point??" Or, when she says, "You're ugly,"
come back with, "Have you looked in a mirror lately??"
You could even add, "B!tchiness brings the ugly right out in
you, MIL." And, if you just can't make yourself
say anything, but you can't avoid her catty, "You're ugly,"
just look her down and up, start laughing, and walk away.
Zing! Pow!! She's down for the count, and you didn't
say a word. Stand up to that nasty woman!! She will
knock it off if you do, I'll bet. But, I wish your DH would
tell her off royally - and let her know that HE thinks you are BEAUTIFUL!!
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
Please don't let her make you feel ugly. Apparently, your
husband thinks you are attractive, or he wouldn't have married you!
As far as kids go, tell her that you just hope they don't have her
"nasty" genes!
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
Pretty is as pretty does. I'd be tempted to respond, "I
may have an ugly face, but you have an ugly heart, and I can get
a makeover."
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
Ask her where her son got his good looks - obviously NOT from her!
Maybe the milkman?
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
Your MIL is the ugliest person on the planet. No contest.
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
That is EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY rude of her. What kind of jerk
tells another person, point blank, that he or she is ugly?
How the person actually looks doesn't matter. The person talking
to him or her like that is the one who's in the wrong. You
don't have to defend your looks, and she is WRONG to talk to you
like that!
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
I'm sure that you're nowhere near as unattractive as your MIL is
saying. What a witch! You need to work on your self-esteem.
I don't care if your husband looks like a movie star; that doesn't
make your feelings unimportant! Does your husband let her
get away with this, or does she only do it when he's not listening?
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
Ok, first of all, WHERE is your DH when she says these horrible
things? He should tell her to zip it. And, if he won't,
you need to tell her that she is without class or manners.
And say that if she doesn't stop the SH!T right now, she will NOT
see any kids that you may have. You wouldn't want her telling
your kids these things, do you? Stand up for yourself.
What's HER weakness? Find it, and harp on it to her face.
Throw the sh!t back at her!
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
Your MIL is a b!tch! And, where is your DH while your MIL
makes such comments?
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
Your MIL has you believing her own nastiness. Who says that
her son is better-looking than you are? How dare she say a
disgusting thing like that? If she said that to me, I would
tell her that she'll never know what my children look like, as she
will NEVER get to see them.
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
What is your husband doing about this?????? Mine would have
given her a swift kick in the @ss if he heard his mother call me
ugly. Does he tell her to get lost???? Why does he let
his mother talk to you like that???????
RESPONSE: Not Ms. Universe
Tell her that you'd rather be "ugly" than vindictive and
mean-spirited, like her. BTW, I don't believe for a minute
that you were, are, or will ever be ugly.
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My MIL always tells everyone
that her son would be so much happier if he married a woman like
her. And, she says that she should have been the one to marry
him. Can we say, "sick"?
Signed - Grossed Out
RESPONSE: Grossed Out
Not only is that lady WACKO, but SICKO!!! I'm sure that when
she's telling people that, they think she's stupid.
RESPONSE: Grossed Out
Um yes, sick. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RESPONSE: Grossed Out
Sick!!
RESPONSE: Grossed Out
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Talk about your Shakespeare epic!
RESPONSE: Grossed Out
Just laugh and say, "I think that this is prosecutable offense
in most states."
RESPONSE: Grossed Out
SO SICK! It sounds like someone's mommy isn't that sane!
Who makes a comment like that!?
RESPONSE: Grossed Out
Your reply the next time she says this might be, "Obviously,
HE didn't think so!"
RESPONSE: Grossed Out
Just wait until you have children. Your MIL will be really
psycho then. I'd stay away from her as much as possible.
She sounds like she needs serious help. I hope that your husband
doesn't think he should have married her too. Lots of luck.
RESPONSE: Grossed Out
"And, she says that she should have been the one to marry him."
Next time MIL says that, I'd say, "That's morally and legally
wrong." Then suggest psychotherapy.
RESPONSE: Grossed Out
Sick! Sick! EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! And, I
might add, all too common, although most women who feel this way
are too cagey to state it right out like that. I think that
my MIL always figured that my DH would be forever available to be
"the man in her life". Hah.
RESPONSE: Grossed Out
Yes, very sick. She's the limit!
RESPONSE: Grossed Out
That is so gross. If a father said that about his daughter,
the police would be called. What does your DH say about this
gross, unhealthy, twisted comment? And, how happy is FIL?
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Working Women Don't Have Wives