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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
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June 7, 2003
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I know that I just wrote, but
I guess I need to vent. My SIL just called me and asked
when my DD could start baby-sitting. Silly me, I thought
that she had talked my daughter. She said no, my MIL was
still there after nephew's birthday party and was telling her
that she needed to get a job (they are having financial problems
and she doesn't work). But, to give her credit, my BIL
and SIL have a severely mentally handicapped boy. Anyway,
she said that she was looking for a job, but was having trouble
finding a sitter, because this child, who is two, has many,
many problems (I'll tell you about that in another post).
My MIL's answer to her was that my DD would do it. This
is the same woman who doesn't know my oldest DD's last name
after 12 years, and sees her once a year at Christmas.
And, we only live a mile from them. I told my DH, and
we had a good chuckle. We think that it is very KIND of
her to offer my DD for the position when she, who doesn't work,
has stated on many occasions that she just can't handle a child
like that for very long. My question is: When is
the last time SHE helped out the "family".
Signed - Who Does
She Think She Is?
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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Worst gift: My MIL gave
us $10 for our wedding!!!!! That was all. It was for
my shower and for our wedding gift combined!!!!! It was
insulting to me to receive more from a coworker than from my MIL.
I guess that shows that I am liked more by a friend than by my
MIL.
Signed - A Perfect
Ten
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
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It is nice to know I
am not the only one with IL problems. I have been married
for 13 months now. We've actually been together for 2 years.
DH has two children from a previous marriage, and I have three.
His ex has no unsupervised contact with my stepchildren at all.
For 15 months I have been raising these children as my own.
DH has an on-call, 24/7 job. PLUS, he is a fireman and engineer
for our local fire company. Dear MIL thought that I walked
on water until about 30 days after we married. She couldn't
believe how well I took care of his children, as well as my own.
I found that the daughter had a learning disorder, was half deaf,
and had vision problems. I took care of all of it, as well
as the other children AND her son, who had a very low self-esteem.
As long as I agreed with everything she said and doted on her,
we were fine. I had two major surgeries a month after getting
married. One was a hysterectomy. Well, due to DH staying
home and taking care of me and not coming to her house every day
or weekends, we were the bad guys. I have a blood disorder
and was not allowed to be alone. I could not drive, go up
stairs or anything for 16 weeks. They were in the middle
of building a new home. It was not a choice to have these
surgeries at this time. It was a life or death situation.
She still doesn't understand that, and all we hear is how I stole
her baby away from her. We got tired of hearing it, so we
stayed away. NOW, she says that it is my fault that he will
not visit her. One day, I finally told her what I thought
about her meddling and having to be the center of attention, and
also about how she told my daughter, who is only 12, that she
is glad she is no relative of hers. She has a bad habit
of comparing me to DH's ex wife. I was the best thing that
ever happened to him. Now, I am worse than the ex in her
eyes. Ha, ha. I told her that a person can only take
so much, and when she made the comments about us being two separate
families (my children and me, and his children and him), that
was it. We do not talk to her anymore. We have blocked
her phone from calling ours. She still goes to pay-phones
to call. DH hangs up on her every time. She has even
gone to our friends' homes to look for us to cause trouble.
She was told to leave their properties every time. She is
a big gossip. And, she says things that she doesn't even
remember saying (like how my husbands children really don't belong
to him). She knows who the father of one is. They
are 7 and 12, and she is just now wanting to see them for overnight
visits. We think it is ONLY because we put a stop to her
being in our lives). Go figure! Just to let you know,
it was FATE that brought us together. One day, in the fall
of 1996 DH was driving the ambulance that came to get my daughter
after she broke her arm in a tree. He moved in a year later,
three doors down. Our birthdays are on the same day, so
we got married on that day! Is that fate, or what (SMILE)?
I could REALLY use some advice.
Signed - A Person Can
Only Take So Much
RESPONSE: A Person Can Only Take So Much
Besides your health problems (I hope they are behind you), it
seems that everything is going well for you. Don't change
a thing, it's MIL who needs to change.
RESPONSE: A Person Can Only Take So Much
I think that you, DH, and all the kids have a wonderful life.
Your MIL cut off her nose to spite her face. Unfortunately,
because of her OWN actions, she will pay for it the rest of her
life by losing her son. Good luck to you!
RESPONSE: A Person Can Only Take So Much
You and DH are doing the right thing. It sounds like there
is no reasoning with your crazy MIL. Cut her off completely,
and don't even think of letting her see the grandkids! Why
would she want to, since she tells everyone that they are not
DH's? Keep hanging up on her, and don't have any contact
with her whatsoever. You and your family will be better
off without her.
RESPONSE: A Person Can Only Take So Much
You've already cut the woman out of your life. Now she is
stalking your family. I believe that it is time for a no-contact
order. That way, at least you have something legal to use
against her should she continue to stalk of your family.
Going to your friends' homes? That is some serious behavioral
issue. Yes, it really does sound like fate brought your
DH and you together. That part of your story really brought
a smile to my face!
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Before my husband and
I got married, we did not see his parents or sister any more than
5 times per year. The phone calls would come only once every
month or so. Then, we got married (about 120 people, half
his guests and half mine). As it was my husband's second
marriage, my in-laws donated only $1,000 worth of wine to the
entire cause. And, no, she never gave me a shower to welcome
me into the family, but complained that her friends were not invited
to the shower that my family gave me. Anyway, they took
the leftover wine home with them after the reception. The
meal was horrible and not what we had asked for. There was
an embarrassing moment in front of my guests by the hall manager,
and we decided that we would not pay the full amount for lousy
food and his behavior. Well, 3 weeks after the wedding my
MIL came to my house, when I was alone, and told me to just pay
it and that she wished we had just eloped!!! Never did she
offer to contribute a dime. It was my family who paid.
Then, shortly thereafter, we were at her house and she took us
into her spare room to show us the "family" album that
she was creating. Didn't that wicked woman include photos
from my husband's first marriage!! Several years later,
my daughter was born, and they were all parked on our doorstep.
I mean, they'd just walk right into the house and wake me up or
the baby for a visit. I started to say no to some visits,
and then they said that I was being nasty to them and that I did
not make them feel welcome in my home. It didn't matter
that I cooked for them. Did they do the dishes? Rarely.
One time, they scared my 9 week old baby so badly that she was
hysterical, and when I ran to comfort her, my MIL scooped MY baby
up into her arms and walked into another room. And, as she
did so, she told me very matter-of-factly, "No. We
are going to have to learn how to do this." We have
been married for seven years, so you can imagine the stories that
I have. There was another doozy tonight, on my husband's
birthday. This involved his self-centered sister, his mother
and father. We didn't know what the problem was, but apparently
it was my fault, because they all stormed out of here with big
theatrics and drama, and my sister-in-law tore several strips
off me on the phone later on. It turned out that his sister
took offense to being asked to wash her hands before interacting
with our kids. Since September we have been sick every month
with everything from simple colds to bronchitis to Norwalk flu,
which my daughter was in hospital for. Anyway, SIL works
in a nursing home, and we've asked them all to wash up for 4 years
now! The worst part is that my husband has great difficulty
speaking up to his family, so I am always the bad guy. Make
sure that you know what you are getting yourself into.
Signed - Almost Out
of Steam
RESPONSE: Almost Out of Steam
Fine, since the spineless wimp you married doesn't love you all
enough to tell his faaaaamily to stuff it, YOU do it. Your
house, your rules, and I would have been hanged if I allowed my
MIL or anyone else to comfort MY child. DO NOT ALLOW THEM
TO WALK ALL OVER YOU.
RESPONSE: Almost Out of Steam
Why do you put up with this? Your MIL took your baby from
you and you did nothing? Make your husband grow a spine
or leave him. And, stand up to them no matter what!
On a separate issue, no parents are required to pay for a child's
wedding.
RESPONSE: Almost Out of Steam
Oh POOOOOOR YOOOOOOU. Your rotten in-laws only spent A THOUSAND
DOLLARS on your wedding. And, THE NERVE to not throw you
a shower. They are certainly from the depths of the pit.
And, just think, they included pictures of their first DIL in
their photo album! They should just turn their emotions
for that wicked first wife off like a faucet, because with a wonderful,
grateful DIL like you, they shouldn't need anyone else.
RESPONSE: Almost Out of Steam
You need to stop interacting with your DH's family. Just
stop. No longer talk to them on the phone or without your
DH present. You do not have to put up with that cr@p.
I do know where you are coming from, when your DH won't say anything.
Take yourself out of your IL's line of fire. They are not
getting their way, and they are blaming YOU. They are taking
it out on YOU. Take yourself out and let your DH deal with
them. Let them not get their way because of their son.
Your ILs need to start directing their abuse to your DH so that
he'll know what it's like. I sure as heck would not be having
them over for dinner or anything else. YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
Don't think that just because you are his wife, YOU have to put
up with that cr@p. Good luck.
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Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
received will be posted as early as our resources will allow.
Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then posted, all
at once, to the original story page about one week later (one set
of responses posted per day). Stories and responses will no
longer move from page to page based on status.
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Working Women Don't Have Wives