|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Mother-In-Law Stories
|
June 17, 2003
 |
Frequent
Fry Her TM
- Dystopia4u, 4 of 4 needed/Posted:
17-JUN-03
Last year, when I was 8 months pregnant with
my DD, I had to be on bed rest due to high blood pressure and
premature contractions. I was told that I couldn't have
more children due to the chemotherapy, so the baby was a wonderful
surprise! I have had issues with MIL in the past, and
I don't think it's okay for her to be alone with DD. MIL
knows this, and she decided to take advantage of my condition
and hatch a scheme. She sneaked around me through my husband.
She bellyached about how much she missed my DD, and how it would
be nice for her to fly DD up for a visit. She said that
we could join her after I'd had some rest (after my other DD
was born). She told him it would give him a chance to
bond with our new DD and give our older DD a chance to visit
with cousins and GPs. And then DH, new DD and I could
all fly up with the baby. What really shocked me was that
DH fell for it. During dinner, he told our 9 year old
DD that her GM was flying her up for a visit right after her
DS was born, and that mom and dad would come up with the baby
after a little while. She was, of course, all excited,
and couldn't wait to go. I had never badmouthed MIL to
DD, so she didn't realize that there were tensions between MIL
and me. After DD went to bed, I had it out with DH.
I was furious that he hadn't even consulted with me. DH
told me that he didn't want to upset me in my condition.
Pffft! DH had already agreed to let DD go, and the ticket
was already paid for. So, DD went to see MIL two weeks
after I had the baby, and three weeks after that we went up
to MIL's. MIL acted like a creep when we were there, and
finally showed her true colors to my DH by screaming at my husband
on a 20 minute tirade on his cell-phone (we left her house because
of her abuse). I could hear every awful and mean-spirited
word that she said about me. Two days later, after I cooled
off, I sat down with her and I told MIL exactly where her place
was and that I was shutting her down. Her days of bullying
me and my family were over. We went home, and I've been
keeping MIL on a short leash ever since. And, DD will
never, nor does she want to, go to MIL's house alone again.
I just wish I'd shut the old dragon down years sooner.
Thanks for letting me get all this out of my system!
Signed - MIL=Woman
Hitler
|
0
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
1 |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
2 |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Strongly Agree
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Somewhat Agree
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Somewhat Disagree
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Strongly Disagree
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Please Seek Counseling
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Continue on Message
Board
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Frequent
Fry Her TM
- Not a Peach Toaster-Cozy Fan, 3 of 4 needed/Posted:
16-JUN-03
I like to read other people's stories so that I
know that I'm not alone as far as extremely insane MILs go.
Currently, my DH and I live with my parents, due to circumstances
beyond our control (including my DH's health). And, we visit
his parents about twice a month, as we will be moving far away
and won't be able to see each other as much in the near future.
I know it will be better for us when we get some space between
us and the ILs (although SIL and BIL are normal). But, I
do have a lot of stories about my insane MIL. I have a very
good memory as far as remembering conversations and events, but
I would love it if I could forget some of the cr@p she's pulled.
I realize that I am lucky, in the respect that my DH can be objective
and see how incredibly inappropriate/rude his mother can be -
she's been criticizing everything he does his whole life, so he
knows better than me what she can be capable of. The worst
story to date happened only a week ago. My MIL waited until
the other ILs left the house so that only she, my DH and I were
at her home. My DH was lying down, as he has health problems
that leave him feeling easily fatigued, amongst other things (but
nothing life threatening). It has been hard on him and everyone
around him, and the last thing he needs is excessive stress.
MIL decided that she "needed to get things out in the open",
and started throwing a temper tantrum by stomping around and yelling
at DH for allowing the little hairs from a hair cut to get all
over her perfectly clean kitchen's white tile floor. These
were a few tiny hairs that wouldn't normally be visible to the
average human eye, unless you were specifically searching for
them. I had given him a hair cut with clippers in the basement
washroom, like I had 20 times before. No notice was ever
taken of the tiny hairs, and, of course, we cleaned up after ourselves
to minimize any transfer. Anyway, I stood up for him and
told her that he'd had a shower. She then started in on
me about not helping her keep her house clean and doing chores
like I had apparently promised (which I didn't). "I
shouldn't have to ask," she repeated. I replied to
this by pointing out that I always put my dishes in the dishwasher.
I used to do more or volunteer more in the past, but she's soooo
psycho about her house being just "so". Chores
in her house have to be done her way, at a certain time of day,
or she'll freak out and yell and scream at everyone. It
was too self defeating for me to continually set myself up for
her to correct me or yell at me for not doing things her way.
This turned into an ugly exchange of her wild accusations of what
a terrible person I am, and how everything is my fault.
I followed by defending myself, and she downplayed/explained away
my replies so that she was still right and I was wrong.
She told me that I run away from all my problems, I never take
responsibility, I'm secretive, I've been in competition with her
over DH "since the second I stepped foot in her door",
I don't talk enough, and I read too much (therefore, my life is
incredibly boring, and she feels sorry for me). If I had
written this a week ago, there would probably have been a lot
more swearing. None of this is true, of course. I'm
waiting for immigration to approve me for a green card, so I'm
stuck at my parent's until I can cross the border. She's
still pissed off because DH and I didn't live with them when DH
took a medical leave and came to be with me for the last 6 months.
And, she tried to keep us hostage (so to speak) at her place.
I called my parents to come and pick us up. I can be shy
at times, but I really have nothing that I want to chat about
with her. She is sooo judgmental, and she automatically
dispenses her 2 cents of advice or opinion, whether it's wanted
or not. So, this whole terrible argument left my DH crying
and me super mad, just when I thought I couldn't possibly hate
her anymore. The saddest part is that she picked a fight
with me on purpose at the expense of my DH. She had the
sickest, smug smile on her face during the argument, and she didn't
shut up until DH said that all these misunderstandings are his
fault because he doesn't communicate well. He knows that
this is not true, but that was what she was looking to hear so
she could bully him further. An hour after the argument,
she said to DH, "I'm so glad that we had that talk today."
DH didn't want to leave, because he was flying out the next morning
and wanted to say good-bye to his siblings, although ...
Signed - I Don't Know
Why I Didn't Insist
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
|
 |
AAACK! I don't
know how to deal with my FMIL anymore. She becomes the issue
of my boyfriend's and my arguments. She is a widowed, 70
year old woman. She let herself get fat and sick (but she
eats cr@p, and a lot of her pains are from her own doing).
She is TOO DEPENDENT on my boyfriend for everything. When
we have plans for an afternoon, she calls and says that we have
to stop by her place for something that she needs "help with",
like fixing the screen door, trimming the lawn, whatever she can
come up with. This woman is perfectly capable of doing these
things by herself. To top it off, my boyfriend's son lives
in the basement, and does NOTHING to help, and my boyfriend doesn't
do anything about it. My BF and I are talking about marriage,
but I don't want a marriage to someone who is married to his mother.
Maybe we should get married and move to another state? The
thing is that he doesn't see a problem with his mother.
Signed - Discouraged
RESPONSE: Discouraged
Run, run, run! Mama's boy alert! Mama's boy alert!
Unless he puts a foot down now, it'll never happen. Can
you live with that?
RESPONSE: Discouraged
Don't marry him.
RESPONSE: Discouraged
RUN! Run like the wind! Why are you staying with this
man?????
RESPONSE: Discouraged
Maybe you'll have a legitimate gripe when you are seventy years
old and still mowing the lawn.
RESPONSE: Discouraged
Your BF's 70 year old mother needs/expects help? What a
b!tch! Gee, with your big heart, I hope you can find someone
to hire when you are old. Surely you won't expect your children
to inconvenience their spouses for you. BTW, I don't think
that BF should marry YOU!
RESPONSE: Discouraged
I wouldn't marry him at all. If you marry and move away,
it will just be more expensive when "mommy" calls, because
he'll have to travel to come to her rescue. If you think
the phone calling is bad now, wait until you're out of arm's reach.
RESPONSE: Discouraged
If he doesn't see a problem with his mother, then the problem
is with HIM. If you want someone more independent, you might
have to look elsewhere. Seventy isn't that old. You
might be stuck with her at least another 10! Good luck.
RESPONSE: Discouraged
RUN, RUN, RUN, AND DON'T STOP UNTIL YOU HIT THE WATER. He
won't change. And if he thinks there's nothing wrong with
altering your plans because mommy wants him to do something, IT
WILL NEVER CHANGE.
RESPONSE: Discouraged
It sounds as if BF is older (has a son living in GM's basement).
If he doesn't see a problem with it by now, he never will.
You will never come first. He's done it this long.
He can't be changed if he doesn't see anything wrong with it.
Good luck.
RESPONSE: Discouraged
I think you've supplied your own answer. He doesn't see
a problem with her behavior and his son won't help, even though
he lives there. Please explain why you would even consider
marrying this mama's boy??
RESPONSE: Discouraged
I feel your pain. Well, the good thing is that you haven't
married this guy yet. Please think about whether or not
you want to deal with this for the rest of your life. We
had the same problems with my DH's parents. The fact that
he was willing to really LISTEN to me about it, and the idea that
I felt like we were on the same side, made all the difference.
If your BF doesn't care enough about how you feel (and you aren't
being a b!tch to mind your MIL's excessive, self-indulgent dependence!),
maybe it's time for you to entertain the possibility that spending
your life with this guy might be too miserable. There are
other guys out there. You'd be amazed at the possibilities
that your future holds. It's lonelier being with the wrong
person than being by yourself. I'm not sure that your BF
isn't the right person, but he needs to wake up and prove this
to you. And he needs a real attitude adjustment if he wants
you to seriously think of marrying him.
RESPONSE: Discouraged
My MIL is the same way. She's divorced and used to depend
on my DH for everything. When he and his siblings used to
live with her, she treated DH like a surrogate husband.
She needed him to go shopping with her, would ask his opinion
for disciplining her other children, would expect that he enforce
the discipline, etc. She would throw tantrums if he didn't
help out, but requested nothing from the other siblings.
After we got married, she would call both of us separately to
see what he was doing, if he was going to be in her area, etc.,
so that he could do some chore for her. Sometimes he would
go if it was convenient for us, but more likely than not, he would
tell her no. In my opinion, there's a very fine line between
being a helpful, nice person, and being taken advantage of.
Your BF's son should help out since he is staying in the same
house as her. However, your BF needs to be able to turn
his mother down when she's requesting things that are unreasonable.
If he can't do this, your best bet would just be to move on, because
things will get worse.
|
|
I am sitting here near
tears because I am not sure where I can even begin. My MIL
has done so many hurtful, hateful things. She is too self-centered
to be a mother. It is no small wonder that my husband is
the most giving person whom I have ever known. He comes
from the most demanding witch I have ever met. She demands
respect, but gives none. She is vulgar and manipulative.
She takes joy in creating problems between DH and me. She
strikes out and then plays the victim. She is unreliable,
at best, and I wish I had married an orphan. I am DIL to
Hydra, the many headed monster from Greek mythology.
Signed - DIL to Hydra
RESPONSE: DIL to Hydra
If my DH were not an only child, I would swear that you and I
shared the same MIL.
RESPONSE: DIL to Hydra
I am the DIL to Medusa. Too bad that b!tch won't turn to
stone! Bwwahahahahahahahaha!
RESPONSE: DIL to Hydra
You can only hope that your DH sees her for what she is in the
near future. Good luck.
RESPONSE: DIL to Hydra
Copy your story exactly. I know how you feel. Stand
up for yourself and fight for your respect, if DH won't.
RESPONSE: DIL to Hydra
I feel like I could have written your post! My MIL is the
same way. She is extremely self centered, very manipulative
and conniving, and seems to enjoy causing problems between my
DH and I. My MIL is also very superficial, all she cares
about is $!!!! A neighbor of hers recently committed suicide.
He was widow/divorcee with grown children, and he was a dentist.
My MIL actually had to audacity to say, "I don't know why
he committed suicide. He was a dentist and was rich!"
I couldn't believe it! I told her that money isn't everything.
She responded with, "Maybe so, but I know that if I was rich
(she is already well off - I think that driving around in a luxury
car doesn't qualify her as poor), I would have no problems."
I just couldn't believe it! How can a woman who is almost
sixty to have such poor values and put such high priorities on
money and looks? It is rather sad. I just can't believe
that she is such a shallow person! I would say that 90%
of our arguments stem from MIL, and about 100% of the time after
we have visited her (or she visits us), we always get into an
argument concerning her. She is also very demanding.
She demands lots of attention, and likes to have her ego stroked.
Yet, she treats most everyone around her like dirt (except for
her perfect sons, my SIL and I are always the ones blamed if something
goes wrong), and can't seem to figure out why she has no friends,
and nobody likes to be around her! My DH, like yours, is
very kind and generous. Everyone who knows him likes him.
I still cannot understand how he could have been raised by somebody
as evil as my MIL, and have turned out the way he did! My
sympathies to you. It really stinks when you have a MIL
like that!
|
Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
received will be posted as early as our resources will allow.
Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then posted, all
at once, to the original story page about one week later (one set
of responses posted per day). Stories and responses will no
longer move from page to page based on status.
|
|
|
Working Women Don't Have Wives