|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Mother-In-Law Stories
|
June 30, 2003
 |
Worst gift: For my 25th
birthday my MIL bought me a "rookie" cookbook.
This wouldn't otherwise be insulting, except for that fact that
my dad is a chef and I grew up in a food orientated environment.
I was extremely insulted, especially since MIL had never had
my cooking. Recently, MIL and FIL came over, and, of course,
I made all of my best dishes during their stay (we live 4 hours
away). She said to me, "You sure have TURNED into
a good cook." Well, MIL, I have always been a good
cook! She is the one who needs a rookie cookbook, or one
that teaches the importance of flavor in food.
Signed - Sweetpea
|
0
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
1 |
0 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Strongly Agree
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Somewhat Agree
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Somewhat Disagree
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Strongly Disagree
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Please Seek Counseling
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Continue on Message
Board
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
When my husband and
I started dating 16 years ago, MIL told him he that would have
to watch out for me because "you always have to watch out
for the pretty ones."
Signed - 16 Years of
He!!
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
|
|
Worst gift: I'm still
at a loss as to exactly what my MIL was thinking this past Christmas.
We were all opening presents, and I got my stocking down.
It was filled with, of all things, lacy and sheer black lingerie
(oddly enough, in my size). I wasn't sure what to think
or say, so I just smiled and thanked her, and then I quickly stuffed
them out of sight. DH seemed a bit amused at the time, but
he really prefers that I don't wear the lingerie around him.
It is just too odd.
Signed - Why Lingerie?
RESPONSE: Why Lingerie?
Eeeeeeeewwwwww!
RESPONSE: Why Lingerie?
That's just nasty. It's almost like she's pimping you for your
son.
RESPONSE: Why Lingerie?
It seems more "odd" that your DH doesn't like you wearing
the black lacy underwear around him!?
RESPONSE: Why Lingerie?
You're put off by your MIL's gift, and so is your DH. Need I
say more? Burn the lingerie or throw it in the trash!
RESPONSE: Why Lingerie?
I only have one question: Why in the world would DH not want
you to wear it around him? Does he want you to wear it around
someone else?
RESPONSE: Why Lingerie?
MIL has issues, but DH does seem to have the proper attitude about
it. Note to MILs: It's great if you approve of your son's wife
and marriage, but lingerie is not an appropriate gift for your
DIL.
RESPONSE: Why Lingerie?
Wow. What a total witch. She bought you a present that wasn't
100% to your liking. She should be taken out and beaten.
RESPONSE: Why Lingerie?
Oh, Lord. Join the club! I can't believe how many of us on this
site have had similar experiences. A big note to ANY MILs: Never,
never, never offer your DIL ANY kind of lingerie - not your old
used lingerie, with knowing winks (ack!) and not new lingerie,
whether it fits or not. It just isn't a comfortable or appropriate
gift from a MIL! I bet (and hope) that none of us will ever give
our DILs lingerie, after what we've learned here!
RESPONSE: Why Lingerie?
If you poke around the archives, you'll discover that all too
many MILs give their DILs slinky lingerie. I suppose that in
some cases it's well meaning, but it's just - creepy, you know?
I mean, who wants to know what your MIL is thinking about her
son's sex life? My MIL once decided that she just *had* to do
my laundry when we were visiting her house. She'd asked if we
needed laundry done, and we said no. We had plenty of clean clothes,
so she sent us out and did it anyway. In the process of going
through my pockets, she found my diaphragm. The mental image
of my MIL handling my birth control device was one that I could
have been spared.
|
|
MIL and FIL finally
came to see our new house. It had been problematical for
them, as they just couldn't find a way of visiting our new house
at their house! Anyway, they came, and did not have anything
nice to say about it. They both sat at the table for lunch
and refused to eat anything. They wouldn't even have a glass
of water! After about two hours, they must have become hungry,
as they pulled out a bag of peanuts and ate them together.
They were so busy being rude to their own son and me that they
neglected the grandchildren (to my disgust). We have given
them our time at least once per week (and usually a lot more often)
for over five years. We have remained cheerful during our
visits, despite their consistent emotionally abusive attitude.
We have given everything we have to the relationship, and all
we have received is emotional abuse in return. I sense that
my husband's feelings about his family have gone from despair
to shame. I cry for him, because I know that he still has
unfinished business, even after everything that has happened.
For me, I am finished with them. I will not visit often,
and will not permit my children to visit without me. Clearly,
my in-laws have some problems, and tiptoeing around them all the
time is not going to bring them any closer to a solution.
The bible says to carry other people's burdens, but I don't think
that it says to help them sweep their problems under the carpet.
I am no longer afraid of confrontation or stating my true feelings
about their unacceptable behavior. If anyone can explain
why some older people cannot be happy for their children's lives
as adults, I'd be very interested. My guess is that they
have depended on their children to make their lives feel worthwhile,
and they have no way to make themselves feel good without being
able to control their children.
Signed - Giving Up
RESPONSE: Giving Up
Well, exactly. This is yet another illustration of why women
*shouldn't* make their children the center of their lives. Sure,
stay home with an infant, but once they're school age, get a life
of your own. Every 2 year old wants to be the center of mommy's
life. It's a rare 12 year old who does. And, by 30, they'll
resent it hotly. Get a life, get a job, get a good marriage,
and let your kids have lives of their own.
RESPONSE: Giving Up
The Bible also says "provoke not thy children to wrath".
As for your interpretation of their behavior ("My guess is
that they have depended on their children to make their lives
feel worthwhile, and they have no way to make themselves feel
good without being able to control their children."), I totally
agree. And, now they feel that they have to punish DH for abandoning
them. Theirs can't be much of a marriage if all it took to bust
up their lives was for DH to get married. Please encourage DH
to get counseling so that he can put these toxic nitwits out of
his life (and head!) as soon as possible.
RESPONSE: Giving Up
You might be right about why they are like that. Sympathy for
you. I think that you're right - going the extra mile in a relationship
can just end up "enabling" bad behavior on the other
person's part. I think that you have gut instincts and feelings.
If you feel right about giving something, fine. But, if it feels
wrong and hurts, and it goes against your grain, that's a signal
for you to stop giving. I don't mean that you should just give
when it's fun - sometimes you feel right about it when it's hard
and sad. But, you truly sound like a good and sensible person,
and I think your gut feelings will lead you the right way. My
in-laws aren't exactly like yours, but bending over backwards
to reach out to them only got me bad results, too. I've just
thrown my hands up in the air, and I have as little to do with
them as possible. I think that has only helped our relationship,
although it still sure isn't great. About your visiting your
in-laws once a week, do they even WANT you to do that? It sounds
like they reward you for it so badly, they might not even really
WANT you to visit. Maybe they'd rather be just left alone. Your
in-laws really ARE different from mine, because my in-laws would
like to be all over us like a bad cold. They'd JUMP at the chance
to visit us, and make my life a living he!! while they were here,
too. There's nothing more miserable than a visit from them -
talk about NO FUN. I hope you can follow your own lead, and find
peace in this situation. One thing is for sure, nobody can say
that you didn't try with them. If they want to be miserable,
you can pray for them and wish them well, and treat them with
decency and kindness when you see them. But, you don't have to
keep subjecting yourself to their abuse. Yes, bringing their
own peanuts to eat at your house was rude Either they just don't
know any better, or they were being very passive-aggressive.
|
Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
and responses received will be posted as early as our resources will
allow. Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then
posted, all at once, to the original story page at a later date (generally,
one set of responses will be posted per day).
|
|
|
Working Women Don't Have Wives