My MIL has issues - actually
his entire family does. They have attention and bragging
issues. His mom always brings food to us (that she doesn't
want), and as a token we should thank her and take her out for
dinner! What is that? We're getting married in 3
months, and we've been planning our wedding for almost a year.
They haven't offered to help us yet. He's the only grandson,
the only nephew, and the only son! In their opinion, a
wedding is a waste of money, and if he wants one, he's on his
own. This is fine, because we get support from my family.
BUT, the problem now is that MIL wants to know EVERYTHING about
our planning, BUT she doesn't want to help. Being respectful,
I do inform her, but I get her critical two cents of our ideas!
She tells all her friends that her son is getting married and
it's a very important day for her to go on vacation, so her
friends think that she's involved and helpful! She keeps
mentioning that she's the "MOTHER of the groom", so
she's an important figure AND she doesn't have to do anything.
That's fine with us, BUT she doesn't have to behave in that
manner, thinking that she's the QUEEN, when she hasn't participated
in the planning. She wants credit for doing nothing.
It's so obvious that my DF needs financial help, but she tells
everyone that her son doesn't need her help to cover the wedding
cost - how inconsiderate! MORE, she keeps calling us (8
AM on the weekends!) and leaving messages like, "HELLO?
I know you guys are at home - you NEVER, NEVER answer your phone!"
And, then she hangs up then calls his cell immediately and leaves
the same message. She keeps calling every hour!
What if we're really busy or left our cells somewhere else??
Yes, she is the "mother" and we should be patient
with her, but how much more can we tolerate if she keeps hassling
us with her looney comments, especially during our wedding period?
Signed - How Much
More Can We Tolerate
0
5
1
0
Strongly Agree
Somewhat Agree
Somewhat Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Please Seek Counseling
Continue on Message
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Worst gift: My MIL is
the queen of bad gifts. After having my first baby, my MIL
gave me a 4X sweatshirt. I wore an XL (I'm 5'11).
It was so big that my husband, the baby and I could fit in it!
The next year, for Christmas, she sent my husband a jumpsuit,
CDs, gift certificates, etc. My daughter got a stuffed animal
(the tag had my MIL's name scratched out and the doll used to
be white. It was "tattle-tell gray"!). How
thoughtful! I got a picture frame. It was the clear
plastic type that you see on restaurant tables, ah ah
Signed - MIL Is The
Queen Of Bad Gifts
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- Tooth Fairy/Posted: 4-JUL-03
There is one thing that drives me absolutely
NUTS about MIL. If you met her in person, you would be shocked
at what kind of filth comes out of her mouth. Every other
word is "F" this, "F" that. I am always
telling her to please try to watch it, as it offends me.
And, my kids are small and I don't want them hearing it.
But, then, when she mails DH cards they sound like they are from
a totally different person. For starters, it is never addressed
to the family (like the Christmas cards or Easter cards).
It always is just to "son". But the message she
writes is Dear "D", Our dearest son, We think of you
with every passing moment. Then, she always signs with "God
Bless". This is weird, since I do not think that they
believe in religion. And when did Mrs. Guttermouth get so
poetic?
Signed - Not Impressed
with MIL Poetry
RESPONSE: Not Impressed with MIL Poetry
She must have a ghostwriter or one of these Victorian books with
sample letters for every occasion.
RESPONSE: Not Impressed with MIL Poetry
Tell MIL that there are neurological disorders that cause otherwise
healthy people to swear like drunken sailors. And, until she
sees a doctor, she's not seeing your kids. They don't need that
kind of influence in their lives.
Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- Tooth Fairy/Posted: 4-JUL-03
No matter how far we move away from the
IL's, they still make my life miserable. Now, the new thing
that they are mad at me for is that I won't let my 2 year old
go to stay with them for a week. We live over 1,000 miles
away. They haven't even seen DS since last June, when he
was only 18 months old. So, he does not remember them.
And, to him, I am sure they are complete strangers. I just
think that it was ridiculous of them to even ask. Plus,
when we were there last summer, DS didn't have any toys at their
house and was bored. They only have one TV in their house,
and I asked (I don't know how many times) if DS could watch cartoons
or one of his movies. Well, FIL would not let him.
Instead, we had to watch golf. They only get to see us once
a year. You'd think that they would be as nice as they could
be. Hello, it's only for a week. Then, they got mad
at me because I wanted to go over to my friend's house.
She'd had a baby too.
Signed - Dreading This
Year's Vacation
RESPONSE: Dreading This Year's Vacation
Why didn't you bring toys for your child? I always packed a toy
bag when visiting other people. It is not anyone else's responsibility
to provide your child with entertainment.
RESPONSE: Dreading This Year's Vacation
FIL wouldn't "let" his grandson watch TV?!?! Hellllooooo!!!
There's someone in this story who has a lot of growing up to do,
and it isn't your son (he has an excuse for acting like a baby).
RESPONSE: Dreading This Year's Vacation
What? Send a two-year old on holiday on his own!?? I don't think
so, lady! Tell your MIL, in no uncertain terms, that your son
will not be going to stay with anyone on his own, until he starts
school. There is no reason (except for dire emergencies) that
a child that young needs to be away from his parents to stay with
effective strangers.
RESPONSE: Dreading This Year's Vacation
You need to take vacation somewhere other than the IL's house.
That is not a vacation. And, I wouldn't leave my two year old
with anyone for one week, especially if he didn't know them (grandparents
or not). That could be traumatizing, and he's too young. When
I do go to visit my ILs, I do visit my friends, and I even leave
the baby behind with DH. I didn't become a slave to marriage,
baby, or my ILs. If DH can take off for a little away time while
I watch the baby, so can I. ILs are pretty self-centered when
they get mad at a DIL for going to visit her friends, as if she
is supposed to be programmed to never want to see them again after
marrying their son or having a baby. Yeah right, that's not even
a healthy way to live. Why don't you try talking DH into treating
you (his wife, and the mother of his child) to a real vacation
where it doesn't just work for him, but for you, too. Think about
the beach, or even a couple of towns over. It doesn't have to
be far or drastic.
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