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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
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July 16, 2003
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Well, my MIL just topped all that
she has done before. My DH is in the US Army, and is deployed
out to Iraq. His mother has known that he was going to leave
since December of last year. That was the last that we have
heard from her. It's now the end of May, and she has still
yet to call me and my son or write her son. She said that
she just doesn't have the time. She never saw him off or
called to wish him well. I think this ends all ties with
her. If she does try to contact me, I will not hold back
for anyone's sake. I just think this showed how much she
really cares for her son.
Signed - WHY US!!!!
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
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My MIL wanted so much
to be involved with the wedding, and I was going to let her be involved.
I was going to ask her one day, when we were over at her house,
but that didn't go too well. Before I could ask her, she asked
me when I was going to start calling her "mom".
I was shocked by the question, but I answered it the way I always
wanted to answer it. "My mom is my mom. SHE gave
me life. Therefore, NO one else deserves to be called mom,
but my mom." That made her mad. She could not respect
my response. So, from then on she wanted to make my life a
living HE!!! As the wedding came closer, we asked her to come
to things so that she could be included, but she would stand me
up, making up stupid excuses every time. She didn't come to
my shower because she had to work (the shower was on a Saturday,
and they only work volunteer Saturdays, which meant that she volunteered
to work). We needed help with money to afford some things
for the wedding, and when we asked her, she said that she wasn't
going to help because she needed a new truck. They already
had a 1998 truck, and it was only 2002! We then let them know
that the rehearsal dinner was going to be at a buffet style restaurant,
and after hearing that they had to pay for the dinner, they refused
to go. The wedding day came, and MIL showed up and left after
the "I DO's" (and before the receiving line). She
got no wedding pictures from us, and no thank you card from us either.
DH was not raised by her. She left him (at 6 months) with
his grandparents. She didn't return till he was 13 years old,
and then she thought that she could just take him back. He
has never had respect for her and neither have I. She has
brought this all on herself, and I hope she realizes that she is
going to be very lonely later on when she gets older.
Signed - She Is Going
To Be Very Lonely Later
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
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This involves my MIL
and SIL, and my DH and I are unsure what to do. My SIL, who
is mentally delayed, on welfare, and a single mom to an 8 year old,
pulled her daughter out of school for three weeks to go to another
part of the country to shack up with some guy whom she met on the
phone. She didn't tell anyone that she had gone, and no one
knew about it until 2 days later. She finally came home.
My husband has been waiting to go down to lay into her and hasn't
been able to do so, because he is busy at work. I want to
call social services and have my niece taken out of the home, and
my husband agrees. My MIL said that it would break her daughter's
heart to lose her child. This child has serious behavioral
problems, and has been suspended for kicking a teacher. I
think that the child needs a foster family familiar with children
with behavioral problems. On the other hand, my MIL says that
if anyone takes her, it should be her other daughter. This
woman is also on social assistance, has two kids who are flunking
school, and lives in an extremely isolated area where the unemployment
rate is 30% and the average age for a woman to have her first child
is 16. My DH and I do not think that this is the appropriate
environment. My big question is not only about what I should
do, but I also want to know whether what my SIL is guilty of is
child abuse/neglect? Please help. I think that my SIL
will take off again at any time.
Signed - Is This Child
Abuse?
RESPONSE: Is This Child Abuse?
Leave the family politics out of this. There is a child's health
and well being at stake. Call social services immediately.
RESPONSE: Is This Child Abuse?
Perhaps you should offer to take her and the other children in.
If that is a hardship, why are you waiting to call? It doesn't
sound like it will get better any time soon.
RESPONSE: Is This Child Abuse?
Yes!!! Call your local social services office as soon as possible.
Your family might not agree with you, but the child will definitely
be better off in the long run! Good luck to you and to the child.
RESPONSE: Is This Child Abuse?
Report your SIL to social services. They will hold a court hearing
to determine who gets custody of that poor child. It is not up
to your ILs to decide who gets custody. Good luck.
RESPONSE: Is This Child Abuse?
Of course she is a victim of abuse. Report her, but do not expect
any results. I have reported numerous parents over the years, and
will continue to do so, regardless. Document your call. Be a good
example for the girl, talk to the school (they can not discuss the
child with you, but you can make it a one sided conversation), mail
a letter to the school and school board. It will break your heart
how many losers in life use children for money, and that includes
social services that are always pleading "what about the children"?
As long as the problem is NEVER fixed, people can keep begging for
money citing that innocent children are in need.
RESPONSE: Is This Child Abuse?
Why do you even need to ask? Definitely get social services into
this. Unfortunately, even this is probably not enough to get the
daughter taken away, but a paper trail should be started immediately.
At the rate this family is going, notifying DSS will benefit (in
the long term) the mother, daughter, and any future children the
daughter will have in her teens or later. Trust me - I have a cousin
of my own who is on assistance (welfare, collecting social security
for disability - in her case depression with schizoid traits).
She has a daughter, and now that daughter has a daughter - at age
13.
RESPONSE: Is This Child Abuse?
Of course, your SIL is guilty of bad parenting! Dragging her DD
off to meet some stranger so that mom can shack up is endangerment
and neglect. Taking her out of school for that long, while not
home-schooling, is also a big no-no. Why are you waiting to do
something about this? Get DN some help NOW!
RESPONSE: Is This Child Abuse?
Wow, my heart goes out to these children who desperately need help.
Well, I think that you should call social services because, one
day, something is going to happen to this little girl, and it's
going to be too late. Is there any way that you and DH could help
these kids? This story really touched me, and I'm glad that you're
willing to take some action. Good luck!!!
RESPONSE: Is This Child Abuse?
Would you be willing to take her in? How willing will the other
SIL be? If the courts do intervene, the girl will most likely go
to the closest relative willing to take her that can provide her
an acceptable home. If you can't take her, can you provide some
kind of positive influence for her in her current environment?
RESPONSE: Is This Child Abuse?
I can relate to your concern for this child. We have to be role
models and teach our children respect, and what having morals are.
It sounds like she may be around so that the mother can draw a check
on her, as we know it can be quite a little chunk of money. And,
maybe it is the reason that this man decided that she could be a
free ticket. If the mother is mentally challenged, she also could
forget to take her medication and the child could be in danger if
she makes her too angry. Also, look for signs of sexual abuse,
as these are the signs that I know all to well, I'm sorry to say.
I have deep respect for your concern in this child's welfare, and
you are probably correct to worry. A foster home can be a good
or bad experience, but we can only pray for the child. I didn't
catch the age of the child. I only hope that there are still a
few people like you to pray for this child's protection. Do what
your heart tells you. You can also let someone else go to child
protective services. God bless you for caring.
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I am so angry right
now with my MIL. A little background to set the stage:
I am six years older than my DH, and I had a child when we started
dating. The second time we took a vacation to visit our families,
we visited his first. We traveled all night, and arrived at
their house at about 6 am. My husband did most of the driving,
so when we got there, he went to lay down for a while. After
he was asleep, MIL told me that my nieces were coming over.
That sounds fine, right? But, wait. She left for work,
and my FIL went out to his barn for the entire day. I had
to take care of my 2 nieces, our son, and our daughter on no sleep.
This pattern of me caring for the children continued during our
entire vacation (SIL went out of town the day we got there).
While we were there, I was playing in the living room with my daughter
and son. DH was helping his father put some shingles on the
barn. I asked my son (he was 5 at the time) to keep an eye
on DD while I ran to the bathroom. I had barely closed the
door when MIL started yelling at me through the bathroom door about
how I was abusing my DD by leaving her with her brother. I
wasn't out of the room for 30 seconds. I just bit my tongue.
My DH's birthday happens to be on the 4th of July. MIL asked
him if he wanted a party. He said no, it wasn't necessary.
Did she listen? NO. She invited a bunch of people (people
whom he hasn't seen in 10 years) to his "birthday party".
It was actually a BBQ for the 4th. Then, she had the nerve
to yell at us for inviting a couple of his friends from high school
over to visit. The final straw came the day that we were leaving
for my parent's house. We had been there for 10 days.
The drive to my parent's house is at least 12 hours. We got
up early (about 5 am) to feed the kids and start packing the car.
We wanted to leave by 6:30. MIL and FIL got up and followed
me around, trying to convince me to stay "a few more days".
I refused to talk to them. My DH had just finished putting
our bags in the car, and I was loading the kids in. MIL came
running out of the house, screaming about some trunks that DH needed
to go through. Nothing was said during the 10 previous days.
I offered to pay for them to ship the trunks to us, and we would
go through them then. No, MIL said that it needed to be "now".
Bless DH! He said, "No," and that we needed to leave.
MIL stopped mid-scream in shock. The part that really burns
me up is that yesterday she was telling someone, whom I don't even
know (we now live in the same town), how I refused to look after
my nieces and she had to take off from work early while we were
there. And, she said that I forced DH to leave when he wanted
to go through his childhood toys to give some to our children.
I'm just glad that DH wasn't there to hear what she said.
Or, maybe I'm not.
Signed - Steaming In
A Small Town
RESPONSE: Steaming In A Small Town
Do not go back, unless you stay in a hotel.
RESPONSE: Steaming In A Small Town
Stop biting your tongue, and speak up for yourself and your family!
RESPONSE: Steaming In A Small Town
Your MIL sounds nuts. I'm glad that your DH refused to stay. Good
luck!!!
RESPONSE: Steaming In A Small Town
I hope that this was your last trip to visit MIL. She is not deserving
of family. Only faaaaaaaaammmmmmily.
RESPONSE: Steaming In A Small Town
I would straighten out whomever your MIL told these lies to, as
soon as I straightened out my MIL. Also, your DH needs to be shown
how you are being treated. You need to know if he is accepting
his mother's abusive behavior towards you. If he is, I'd run!!!
RESPONSE: Steaming In A Small Town
Going to your ILs is not a vacation. I also would not appreciate
having someone else's kids dumped off and everyone assuming that
I'm supposed to take care of them. You already had two small ones
to look after, and lets not forget that your DH is their father
and shouldn't be excluded from that, either. This is why I am very
hesitant about having children. There is no way that, on my vacation,
my DH and ILs are going to stiff me with more kids than I can handle
by myself, and then yell at me for using the bathroom and asking
how dare I do something for myself. I would have told her that
this was her vacation and that she was not watching them. You should
have told that to her face so that she wouldn't feel the need to
go behind your back and whisper it. People are morons, and your
DH is one of them for not seeing the situation that you were put
in and for not saying anything about it. He!! would freeze over
on the day that my ILs get away with dumping kids on my lap and
then get angry that I don't want to be a daycare service during
my vacation. You are an adult for heaven sakes. Who the he!! wants
to go on vacation to have to watch extra kids (that aren't even
yours) without even being asked. You now live there. You need
to find your backbone and tell DH to be a man and stand up for his
wife. And I would tell him what she said.
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one set of responses will be posted per day).
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Working Women Don't Have Wives