Worst gift: What is
with this woman?! MIL has a lot of money, I mean A LOT of
money, and she gives the most tactless, worthless gifts that I've
ever seen. Or else she just doesn't give them at all!
Right before I had my second child, a girl, she and I were out
walking the mall and she "bought" me two outfits for
the baby. The baby is now almost two months old, and now
MIL said, "They just don't suit her. I'm giving them
to someone else." That's just weird. Anyway,
for my last birthday, she gave me a beat-up, dirty backpack with
holes in it because it was DH's backpack from high school.
The thing had mold growing in it! Oh, and let's talk about
the things that she gives to my 16 month old son. For Easter
she gave him a wooden figure. It was about 3 inches high,
had limbs connected with rubber bands, and the paint was peeling
off of it. Obviously, she thought that it was appropriate
for a child his age, especially since it already had teeth marks
on it! I threw it away the minute she left. In my
opinion, that's a kind of dangerous gift for a baby! Ewww!
If she does give a decent gift, it's usually something that is
tacky. She gave the baby a quilt that she'd made, and it's
the ugliest thing that I've ever seen. I don't mean to be
rude, especially since she obviously put some time and effort
into it, but shouldn't you try to give someone a gift that you
think they will like? Maybe she's hoping that we'll give
it back to her!
Signed - Save Me The
Trouble Of Throwing Them All Away!
0
1
0
Strongly Agree
Somewhat Agree
Somewhat Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Please Seek Counseling
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I was dilated, in my hospital
bed with major contractions, and in a lot of pain. The phone
rang. I didn't even think twice - the call couldn't be for
anyone but the nurse. Never in my wildest dreams did I think
that my MIL would call a delivery room!!!! I was so mad.
She was lucky that she wasn't standing right in front of me.
My husband told her that I was in active labor and that he needed
to go. Then, an hour later, she called again!!! If I
could have reached the phone plug, I would have just pulled it out.
I can't believe that she would call my room when I was in labor.
I can understand calling the recovery room, but not a labor room,
knowing that your DIL is in labor!
Signed - The Phone Rang
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
Not my MIL, but another
crazy relative. About 6 weeks before my wedding, my mother
and I went to my deceased grandmother's house to help my aunt (who
is currently a squatter at the house). She was trying to clean
up her pack-rat mess to show it to a realtor. We went there
and did all the work. An argument ensued (my aunt is very
controlling, and has been trying to push my mother out of the family
for years). Long story short, she and her husband assaulted
me. I told them not to come to my wedding (invites had already
been sent, and their 16 year old son was supposed to be part of
the ceremony). When we left the theater after the ceremony,
all of the guests were outside, and most of them were talking about
a nut in red behind a tree at the far end of the parking lot.
I saw the person, but couldn't make out who it was. Our wedding
was unusual, so I assumed that it was a neighbor wanting to see
it. I came to find out later that the "lady in red"
was my aunt, who was uninvited. We found out later that my
husband's coworkers spoke with her at one point, asking her what
she was doing. She whispered, "I'm hiding, shhh."
They shook their heads and walked off. She didn't cause any
trouble, except for weirding-out a lot of the guests. She
was chased away by my brother. He and my mother weren't far
away from her, unbeknownst to them. My brother happened to
catch a glimpse of red out of the corner of his eye and pointed
her out to my mom. He made a bit of a fuss and auntie realized
that she was busted. She started running off as my brother
yelled, "Psycho!", at her. It's really more funny
than bad. What I'll never understand is why the idiot wore
red. She couldn't have been more conspicuous if she were naked.
It's called camouflage dear, look into it.
Signed - Still Laughing
RESPONSE: Still Laughing
Your brother yelled "Psycho"? Nice. Has your family
ever thought of appearing on tabloid television?
After 17 years of abuse
and mistreatment at the hands of my MIL, my husband and I have had
to make a decision not to have a relationship with her at all.
Our marriage would have been in jeopardy if we hadn't done something
drastic. She hated me from word go - her first words to me
were, "Oh, MY son dating a builders daughter. Who'd have
thought it." Things got steadily and steadily worse over
the months and years. I just can't begin to list every episode,
but suffice to say that incidents included her punching, kicking,
spitting and pulling out clumps of my hair. She was "justified"
in her actions, she said. The reason - my husband had chosen
a joke birthday card for her which, she didn't like (it was fine
for her to send this type of card), and she fathomed that he couldn't
have possibly done this of his own accord. It must have been
me, brainwashing him again, and getting him to buy a card with a
hidden meaning. I have remained completely respectful in my
approach, even though she has been so awful to me. Her daughter
(my SIL) and I were pregnant at the same time, and I happened to
meet a cousin of my MIL's in town. She had received all the
details of my SIL's pregnancy, but had NO idea that I was even pregnant.
She said that my MIL had never mentioned it!! My husband was
so upset by this, but, as was the pattern, he never challenged her.
She rarely sends me a birthday or Christmas card, let alone a present.
And, now, because my husband has started to stand up to her, he
doesn't get one either!! She says that it's because she can
never think of anything to buy for him!! My SIL's husband
(who is literally a multimillionaire) gets the best and most expensive
presents that you can imagine. I feel for my husband.
The final straw came when my MIL verbally attacked my mother, who
had passed away a few months earlier. She criticized the outfit
that my mother had worn for our wedding. She said, of my 5
year old niece, "And why on earth did you choose a bridesmaid
who wore glasses? It spoilt the whole look." My
husband told her that if she couldn't be civil towards me, then
there would be no relationship. We haven't heard from her
for over 2 years!!!!!! I can only conclude that she doesn't
do civil!! Is this a typical case, OR, as a friend in the
psychiatric line has suggested, does she have a personality disorder
(BPD). She has spent the duration of our marriage setting
"tests" of loyalty for my husband - each one becoming
more and more extreme, and always at my expense. My FIL knows
that she is in the wrong, but has told a friend that he has no option
but to "support" her , even at the expense of his relationship
with his son. I feel that my FIL and my husband's siblings
have had a bit of a "dogs life" with her, and are scared
of any repercussions. So, they are reluctant to point "things"
out to her. Surely they are not doing her any favors in the
long run?? My husband gets upset that his sister, with whom
we had a very close relationship up until the latest episode, takes
their mother's side. Or, should I say, she refuses to discuss
her mother's behavior at all. She is undeniably in the wrong,
but everyone buries their head in the sand rather than deal with
it. If it were my mother, I would be concerned for her sanity
and welfare. We both feel worthless due to the "familial"
lack of support for our feelings. This woman professes to
love her son, but will put him through this? Sorry to waffle
on, but seriously, this has driven me to breakdown.
Signed - Where Do We
Go From Here???????????
RESPONSE: Where Do We Go From Here???????????
Your biggest mistake was NOT having her arrested for physically
attacking you. Stay away from the whole mess of them.
RESPONSE: Where Do We Go From Here???????????
She sounds like a complete nightmare. You obviously did the right
thing cutting her off. It's a shame about the FIL and siblings,
but it sounds better than still dealing with the evil-in-law.
RESPONSE: Where Do We Go From Here???????????
BPD, at it's best. Stay away from people that drag you down. Just
because DH shares some microscopic DNA with this mental illness,
that doesn't mean that you should put up with abuse. Keep running
like he!! in the opposite direction. You will be glad that you
did for your own sanity. Good luck.
RESPONSE: Where Do We Go From Here???????????
You're doing the right thing by not having contact with her. If
anyone laid a hand on me, that would have been the deal breaker.
I don't know why you put up with her at all after that incident.
Don't feel sorry for your DH for not having a relationship with
this "person". She is clearly not worth it. Be glad
that you cut her off when you did.
RESPONSE: Where Do We Go From Here???????????
With family like that, especially a toxic waste of a MIL, I don't
see how you can do anything other than to cut them out of your lives.
Counseling would probably help you and your DH greatly. Please
find a counselor for the two of you to talk to.
RESPONSE: Where Do We Go From Here???????????
MIL is bad, but DH is worse. He participated in these "tests"
of loyalty at your expense? Where was he when MIL was physically
attacking you? Stay away from MIL. The only place to go is a marriage
counselor's office, so you can find out why DH subjected you to
over 17 years of abuse because he wouldn't stand up to mommy. And,
shame on you for taking all of that abuse!
RESPONSE: Where Do We Go From Here???????????
You have made difficult, but healthy choice here. DH's family has
some serious problems, as indicated by her abusive, controlling
behavior. You did the right thing by saying "no contact without
respect". Now, the family is "circling the wagons".
You are scaring them with your boldness, so they are supporting
the person who scares them and controls them. It's all they know.
You are not worthless; you are both strong, intelligent people.
You're doing what you need to do to survive and be healthy, happy
individuals. Good for you!! Keep up the good work, and go meet
some new friends who appreciate you.
RESPONSE: Where Do We Go From Here???????????
I have been married for 22 years, and I also suffer from a MIL who
doesn't speak to us. DH stood up for me 6 years ago, when my MIL
went online one night and had a chat with my then 15 year old son.
She told my son that his mother (me) was a "devil in disguise".
She said that I was deceiving everyone into thinking that I was
a nice person. And, that my DS should love her, because she has
put up with me for so long. Thankfully, my DS is a strong willed
person, and was able to stand on his own during this assault. My
DS printed out this entire conversation, and my DH made copies and
sent it to all of his brothers and sisters. He also confronted
my MIL. To this day, the only one who will talk to DH is one brother.
We have learned, over the years, to deal with this. We have seen
a counselor and have agreed to "do unto others". So,
we send cards, gifts and pictures and await the day my MIL comes
to her senses and sees what she is missing. Next year, my youngest
graduates from high school, and my oldest is getting married. We
wonder if she will come to the celebrations.
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