Worst gift: I have to
mention the latest "gift"! My SIL threw us a little
baby shower on Sunday. When we were done opening the gifts,
my MIL piped up, "I didn't get the baby anything. My
gift is being here!" Gee, thanks.
Signed - If That's
Your Gift, Please Take It Back!
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Worst gift: My boyfriend
and I had been dating for 3 years. We had intentions of getting
married in year #1, but between school, work, moving, and other
family member's weddings, we kept putting ours off (including the
engagement). My FMIL didn't understand our decision, and hounded
us about getting married at every chance she got. I should
have been flattered, but after the same responses for 3 years, I
was a little exasperated myself, and just as eager to be engaged
as ever. Unbeknownst to me, my sweetie was planning on surprising
me on New Year's Eve. So, for Christmas, MIL decided to send
me a wedding album! How very tacky!! She was trying
to ruin the surprise, and when I didn't seem grateful, she was upset
with me! She said, "Well, you never know, it could happen.
I left the engraving coupon in it, in case you are not a Mrs.________."
She was telling me that I could use it if I marry another man!!!!
How tacky. Sure, DF, I would love to marry you, but did you
save the receipt for that b!tchy mom of yours?
Signed - The Impetus
of Evilness
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Worst gift: For the
first couple of years that my husband and I were dating (I had not
met his mother at that point), MIL sent me a sweater each Christmas
(she never asked what I wanted). This would not have been
so bad, but I am only 4 ft 11 inches tall, so these sweaters look
like dresses on me (I finally had to tell her, "No more sweaters.").
Since then, for my birthday and Christmas, she asks me what I want
or need, and I give her a list to choose from (I don't expect to
get everything on my list). And, for my birthday, she gives
me things that she likes. For the past 2 Christmases she has
given me body lotion, hair spray (which I don't even use), and body
wash - none of which is on the list that I give her. My mom
gets me stuff like that because we like the same scents, but my
MIL will not listen, even when my husband talks to her about it.
I now refuse to give her a list for my birthday or Christmas, as
she never goes by it (I go for inexpensive items, so it is not like
I ask for a lot).
Signed - Stinky
RESPONSE: Stinky
Get over it. So what if she doesn't get you want you like. She
buys you decent stuff. If you want something, buy it yourself.
RESPONSE: Stinky
She sounds like she is trying to be nice to you - but, you seem
very ungrateful, and kind of snotty. She doesn't have to get you
anything.
RESPONSE: Stinky
Shouldn't you be lucky that she gives you anything at all? It sounds
like she is trying. Maybe you should go shopping with her, and
point out the scent that you like.
RESPONSE: Stinky
A gift is what someone wants to give you. I think you are being
immature. Just thank her for thinking of you, and throw the stuff
away if you don't like it. If she doesn't ask, giving her a list
is wrong.
RESPONSE: Stinky
First of all, did it occur to you that as you had not met the woman
when she first starting giving you sweaters, she was unaware of
your size? I think that it's sweet that she would get a gift for
her son's girlfriend, a woman whom she hasn't even met yet. She
made an effort to get to know you, and you're ticked because she
didn't realize how short you were? Then, you tell her, "No
more sweaters." How rude! You never tell people what they
can and cannot get you for holidays! And, the list?!?! She asked
for ideas. You could have given her a phone call, not a "list"
to choose from. She wanted ideas, not a freakin' registry! Body
lotions are a nice gift - so YOU don't like the scent, it's not
like she's "out to get you". If I were you, I'd read
the archives here and be grateful that you don't have a MIL like
the other poor souls on this site. Quit nit-picking, and make an
effort, because it seems like she is.
OK, I have to VENT!
I need advice on how to handle my MIL. She hates me, and she
has never told me why - she is more passive-aggressive about it.
She says bad stuff about me behind my back, and is mostly sweet
to my face. We have gotten into it a few times. She's
mean to DH, and is only nice to us so that she can have contact
with my kids. She thinks that I am a horrible mother, and
she has yelled at me for nursing (my kids have never had a bottle).
I will not let her watch my kids alone. I do not trust her.
A few years ago, she told DH that she wanted to kill FIL, and that
she hates him. She went on to tell DH how she and FIL have
not been together in over 3 years. MIL and FIL are still married,
but don't sleep in the same room, or ever really talk to each other.
My MIL will badmouth DH while our kids are in the room. Our
oldest DD, who is 7, is starting to notice how MIL is treating mommy
and daddy (being mean), and has asked me why MIL hates mommy and
daddy. This, along with other things, has caused me to decide
to drop all contact with my ILs. If DH wants any contact with
them, it's all up to him to send cards and call on birthdays.
Is it wrong of me to insist on my MIL having no contact with our
children? I just hate that she makes them think that I am
mean and bad in some way or another.
Signed - Venting DIL
Who Has Had It
RESPONSE: Venting DIL Who Has Had It
No, I wouldn't allow it either.
RESPONSE: Venting DIL Who Has Had It
You're doing the right thing for your children.
RESPONSE: Venting DIL Who Has Had It
Good for you for cutting them off.
RESPONSE: Venting DIL Who Has Had It
You are absolutely right to cut your kids and yourself off from
this toxic, hateful person. When your children start to notice
the hate spewing from her, it's high time to cut contact. You did
the right thing!
RESPONSE: Venting DIL Who Has Had It
No, you are not wrong in keeping your MIL away from your children.
I think you're doing the best thing possible for the children's
welfare. There's simply no good reason why children should be subjected
to a GM who says bad things about their parents. Keep MIL away
from your family!
RESPONSE: Venting DIL Who Has Had It
I think that you are doing the right thing by keeping your children
away from MIL. She sounds like a toxic, nasty person who needs
some serious help. You don't need to expose your children to her
hostility.
RESPONSE: Venting DIL Who Has Had It
You are right in not wanting your ILs around your children. It's
obvious that your MIL cannot hold her tongue around them, so keep
the young ones away from the in-laws for now. And, if GM has any
qualms about it, tough.
RESPONSE: Venting DIL Who Has Had It
You are perfectly within your rights to minimize or totally eliminate
contact with people whom you do not want your children around, including
their own grandparents! If they cannot be civil in front of their
own grandchildren, they don't deserve to see them.
RESPONSE: Venting DIL Who Has Had It
What took you so long to make this healthy decision? The best thing
that can happen is if DH takes your side and tells MIL flat out,
"No contact until you treat us with respect."
RESPONSE: Venting DIL Who Has Had It
No, it's not wrong. Your children do not need to hear their mommy
and daddy spoken badly about by anyone. The fact is that their
grandmother is neither here nor there. She sounds awful.
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