Worst gift: My MIL didn't
smile once at the wedding, and the only present we got was an
old fashioned styled toaster. I can't explain it, but when
I opened it, my cousin across the room understood me very well
when we looked at each other. I'm not picky, really, but
she could have put a little more girly fashion sense behind it.
It was more like a toaster that you give a guy living in a college
dorm or first apartment because they could not care less what
it looks like. I, personally, would have been happy with
a fondue pot, because they are different, expensive, and everyone
wants one these days. They are great for parties or just
hanging out.
Signed - Great For
Parties
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Somewhat Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Please Seek Counseling
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A couple of years ago,
my MIL told me that her credit was really bad, and she asked me
to give her my credit card. I immediately called my card issuer
and asked for a credit card for her. She paid the astronomic
bill monthly, but I had to go here and there to collect the money.
She said that in order for me to get the money, she needs two statement
copies, one for her and one for her office. I had to fax them
over and over, because she normally takes the paper and forgets
what she did with it. I also had to ask for an appointment
to go to her place to pick up the check. That was a mess.
I was always collecting the money a few days before the deadline,
and sometimes I had to rush the delivery of my payment. A
year ago, my husband and my MIL had a big argument (not related
to this), and she decided not to pay my credit card. When
I called her to ask her, "When can I pick up my money?",
she just said, "I'm not going to pay you," ask your husband
to pay for it. And, not only that, but while I was trying
to collect the money, she organized her company Christmas party
and paid for everything with my credit card!!! Some of the
employees told me that she was asking them to take food home if
they wanted to. I tried to talk to her one hundred times.
I tried to explain to her that the problem she had with my husband
had nothing to do with our arrangement. She refused to pay
a hundred times. We had to pay the bill, and I decided to
go to court. Of course, I won the case, and she had to pay
me everything. But!!!, she sent the first two payments, and
after that she started to send the payments to different addresses.
I went to court again and she had to pay interest because of the
delay. Needless to say, we haven't had a relationship with
her since then. Her mission now is to destroy my reputation,
saying all kinds of nasty things about me and my family. If
I find the way to do it, I will go to court again. This toxic
woman just doesn't get it.
Signed - Credit Card
Payment
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Somewhat Agree
Somewhat Disagree
Strongly Disagree
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When my MIL arrived in
town for our wedding, the first thing she said to my mother was,
"If we can get through this, we can get through anything,"!
My mom, bless her heart, calmly looked her in the eye and said,
"I don't know what you mean. This is a happy occasion
for me." MIL just shrugged and walked away. Little
did I know that was just the beginning of the "fun" that
MIL would bring into my life!
Signed - I Stole Her
Little Boy
RESPONSE: I Stole Her Little Boy
Maybe your mother overreacted and your MIL was just referring to
the FACT that putting on a wedding can be a big job. Maybe you
and your mother were looking for problems.
RESPONSE: I Stole Her Little Boy
You are not alone! On our wedding day (I was 20), my ex-MIL told
me that I could "take the makeup off now that there is no one
to impress!" From that day forward, she only gave sweets and
things with MOMMY/WIFE decals on them. I'm sure that your DH is
a great guy, but I happily returned that "stolen son"
because, as it turned out, he thought the same way. At 46 he lives
with mommy! Don't let it affect your happiness with your hubby/family.
I am really relieved
to have found this web page. I just got married to my DH this
spring. I have two children from another marriage, and my
husband also has two children from a prior marriage. When
we got married, my mother called and wanted to know the birthdays
of her new grandchildren. But, my new MIL will not even give
my kids the time of day. She comes over at least five to ten
times A DAY. We can shut our phone off and lock our doors,
and she will stand out there and knock for ten minutes. My
DH has tried to be nice about it and tell her to stay away, but
it only lasts about a week. Any quiet time that we have to
spend together always gets interrupted by HER. I don't know
what to do anymore. My daughter and my stepdaughter's birthdays
are very close together, so we just had one big party for both of
them. My MIL gave my DD a two dollar doll, and gave my stepdaughter
six outfits and about four different toys. After the party,
DD asked me why MIL did not like her. She is eight years old,
and it just broke my heart. My MIL is a wicked lady to do
that to her. So as of right now, when my MIL comes over, I
go to my room. My DH is the greatest man, and he said that
the best thing that we can do is to tell her to stay out of our
lives. We have had too many fights because of MIL. But,
I will not let this wicked lady come between my family. Any
advice, ANYONE?????
Signed - ABOUT TO BLOW
RESPONSE: ABOUT TO BLOW
Move, so that she can't come over! Peace - and peace of mind -
is worth the hassle of moving.
RESPONSE: ABOUT TO BLOW
I would have nothing to do with her. I certainly wouldn't go to
my room when she came over - I wouldn't let her in!! Miserable
cow.
RESPONSE: ABOUT TO BLOW
Your DH has already given you the solution - cut her out of your
lives. If he's willing and ready, why are you hanging back?
RESPONSE: ABOUT TO BLOW
My suggestion for MIL: A restraining order for harassment! Good
luck.
RESPONSE: ABOUT TO BLOW
Listen to your DH. Let the old bat go.
RESPONSE: ABOUT TO BLOW
Cut her out, now! DH is right! Get a restraining order if you
have to. She will just continue to hurt your precious kids and
that is not acceptable.
RESPONSE: ABOUT TO BLOW
Yeah, stop telling us how your DH is so "terrific", when
he is subjecting you and your DD to this woman who obviously makes
you feel bad. Time to get tough with DH and keep this woman out
of your home. Please, take control of your life. Good luck.
RESPONSE: ABOUT TO BLOW
Oh my god, please MOVE AWAY from this woman. I know that moving
is a hard thing to do, especially with 4 kids. But, trust me, it
will be in their best interest to get away from this psycho woman.
You have got to put at least an hour of traveling distance away
from her, if not more. Have you ever watched "Everybody Love's
Raymond?" Don't be like Debra and stay living where you are.
YOU HAVE GOT TO MOVE!!!!
RESPONSE: ABOUT TO BLOW
With 4 kids in the house, I don't know if you can do this, but a
friend of mine tried it and it worked. Her MIL would stop by unannounced
all the time, even after she and DH asked MIL to stop. One day,
they were alone at the kitchen table when they heard MIL drive up.
DH said, "I am taking care of this once and for all."
He stood up, took off ALL of his clothes, met his mother at the
front door and said, "Gee, mom, we would love to invite you
in, but it is really not a very good time right now." After
that, MIL always called first, and actually listened when they said,
"Not now."
RESPONSE: ABOUT TO BLOW
She sounds a lot like my FMIL! DF and I went out of town for a
weekend for a much needed break. The first night in the hotel,
she called for DF, "Oh your dad and I (FFIL) were wondering
whether we should shut the window in your room. You left it open
when you left, and it might rain tonight"!! DF got her off
the phone as quickly as he could, before I blew a gasket. But,
two hours later she called again for DF. " We were thinking
of going out tonight, but we can't now because you're not here to
baby-sit your little brother (dramatic pause). He really misses
you". I find this behavior offensive, and I completely sympathize
with your situation. You are lucky that your DH is supportive of
how you feel. It will make things a lot easier in the long run.
I think that setting and achieving little goals worked best for
me, e.g., she must call before visiting. If not, simply do not
allow her in. Say that you are on your way out to shop, etc. She
will soon get the hint, and you can progress to remedying another
aspect of her behavior. And, for the love of god, make sure that
she does not have a key to your house! These are my tips for survival.
Good luck to you!
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