Frequent
Fry Her TM
- well I just think, 1 of 4 needed/Posted:
16-AUG-03
I recently allowed my ILs to baby-sit for my six
month old DD. They called on a Saturday afternoon, saying
that they were ten minutes away and would love to sit for us.
I groaned, figured it was better to get it over with, and told
them to come on over. I nursed DD right in front of them
before leaving. DH told them that there was an ounce of
expressed breast milk in the fridge (left over from that morning,
when I'd gone out for an appointment), but that he would be astonished
if she wanted to eat. We went out for 90 minutes.
When we came home and walked in the door, we heard DD screaming
her little heart out. I made DH go upstairs to find out
what the heck was going on. He found MIL and FIL anxiously
hovering over DD on her changing table - MIL had changed her diaper,
which took her about ten minutes, and was now trying to fasten
her romper back up while the poor baby wept. DH had to tell
her, "Mom, the diaper is on. The baby needs to be held
and calmed down! Pick her up! You can worry about
fastening her outfit later!" MIL then chastised us
for not leaving enough milk for DD. "She was hungry
fifteen minutes after you left!" Yeah, right - MIL's
solution to any problem is to shove a bottle into DD's mouth.
MIL gave us a rundown of the past ninety minutes - they watched
her video twice, put her in her jumper, put her in her swing,
played with all of her toys, and then changed her. No wonder
DD was shrieking - she was completely overwhelmed and overstimulated!!
DD dove into my arms to comfort, nurse and try to shut everything
out, which of course led MIL to state, "See? She's
hungry!" The kicker? DD had slept through the
night for the first time ever the evening before they came over.
But after my MIL had worked her magic, it took me three days to
get DD to even nap consistently again. And she wonders why
I don't want her to baby-sit.
Signed - She Wonders
Why
0
1
0
Strongly Agree
Somewhat Agree
Somewhat Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Please Seek Counseling
Continue on Message
Board
DH and I planned a trip
up north to visit my family for a day, and then we planned to spend
the remaining vacation at my family's lake house. We live
about 12 hours from my DP's, and another 1 ½ hrs. from DP's
to the lake house. I still can't figure out how this transpired.
MIL and FIL decide they were coming with us. So, imagine 12
plus hours in a car with MIL, FIL, DH, 2 DSs and DD. We got
ready to start the journey. And as everyone knows, when you
have children, you ask everyone if they have to use the bathroom
before you leave. Okay, everyone but MIL emptied their bladders.
Fifteen minutes into the trip, MIL had to use the bathroom.
So, we stopped, and just to be safe, everyone else decided to try
to go also. We were on the road for another half hour, MIL
was huuungry. We pulled into a convenience store so that MIL
could get a roll or something. Nope, she needed a BIG breakfast.
We stopped at a restaurant so that MIL could eat. The rest
of us had had rolls at home before we left. Thus, weren't
hungry. We got back on the road and 15 minutes later MIL had
to "go" again. Why didn't she use the bathroom at
the restaurant? "She didn't have to go then."
We got back on the road for a record 2 hours!! DS has to go,
so we stopped. MIL didn't go. We asked that she at least
try. Nope, she wouldn't try. She knew whether she had
to go or not. We were back on the road for another 15 minutes
and MIL had to go. We stopped again, and FIL was just now
finally starting to get annoyed. We decided while we were
stopped to go ahead and eat lunch. Of course, after MIL's
big breakfast, she was not hungry. We suggested that she take
something "to-go", just in case she got hungry later.
Nope, she never eats lunch and will not get hungry. Our bellies
were full, and we were back on the road. One hour later MIL
was huuungry. Ok, I could go through the whole torturous trip,
but that would just take too long. A twelve hour trip ended
up taking us 16 hours!! Thank goodness my sister offered to
drive me to the lake house from DP's so that I wouldn't have to
endure even one more hour in the car with that woman! By the
way, it took my sister and me one hour and 10 minutes to reach the
lake house, and FIL's caravan arrived after 2 and ½ hours.
Signed - I Gotta Pee!!!!!
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
Wow, where to begin?
MY MIL is a back-stabbing, two-faced witch. She just kicked
her boyfriend out because he had a fight with her disrespectful
son. And, when I say disrespectful, I mean over the top.
He is totally running the household. My husband disagreed
with his mother's decision to get rid of the boyfriend instead of
booting her son (which is what I would have done). So, now
we are horrible people because we formed our own opinion after we
were outright asked for it. But, this is just the tip of the
iceberg. We live about 60 ft from each other. She is
in a trailer park and we bought a 2 acre parcel next to the park.
I know, I know, what were we thinking? But, we are not well
off, and found this property for a great deal. I am not the
sort of person to sit here and feel sorry for my self, but things
are getting worse, and we have only lived her for 1 ½ years.
They are always looking over our fence to see who is at our house
, not to mention the times I have caught them peeking through the
cracks in the fence. Someone please give me a remedy that
doesn't include moving????
Signed - Who Wants to
Trade MILs?
RESPONSE: Who Wants to Trade MILs?
None. Move.
RESPONSE: Who Wants to Trade MILs?
Build a bigger fence.
RESPONSE: Who Wants to Trade MILs?
Put up a TALL brick fence.
RESPONSE: Who Wants to Trade MILs?
Plant shrubs along the whole length of the fence. Poison ivy, perhaps?
RESPONSE: Who Wants to Trade MILs?
The next time you catch them peeking through the cracks in the fence,
hose the fence down.
RESPONSE: Who Wants to Trade MILs?
Fast-growing, tall evergreen shrubs. We originally lived across
the street from DH's parents, so I feel for you.
RESPONSE: Who Wants to Trade MILs?
Get an eight foot privacy fence around your property. Not only
will it discourage peepers, but it will qualify as home improvement,
and raise the value of your property for when you decide to sell.
My MIL has completely
gone off the deep end. Ever since I gave birth to my DD, who
is now 13 months old, she has turned into a jealous, raving lunatic.
She refers to herself as "mommy" to my DD when she thinks
that no one is around. She has 2 sons who are happy and healthy,
but that isn't good enough. She says that my daughter is her
chance to raise the daughter that she never had. I usually
just ignore her comments and all of her criticism of how my DH and
I aren't raising our DD like she raised her boys. All of these
comments have always been made to me when no one else was around,
until last week. She called my DH and accused us both of using
our DD as a "pawn" (a pawn for what, she couldn't explain).
She said that we keep her from DD, and that we never let her decide
anything about her care. My DH pointed out to her that we
are the parents, not her. That sent her even further over
the edge, and she then told him that she was sorry that she wasted
her life raising him. What a witch! She said that I
acted like my DH and I were the only ones who could make decisions
as to how DD would be raised. Well, DUH! I finally just
hung up on her. I called my FIL and told him to tell her not
to call the house anymore. My poor FIL doesn't know what to
do. He is miserable too. My MIL actually said that she
knows that she can't get along with anybody, but that she thinks
it is all everyone else's fault and not hers!
Signed - Completely Baffled
in the South
RESPONSE: Completely Baffled in the South
Do NOT allow her around your DD, and certainly no baby-sitting.
She is dangerous.
RESPONSE: Completely Baffled in the South
I think that your MIL is the one who is baffled!! Avoid her like
the plague!!!
RESPONSE: Completely Baffled in the South
I would be very concerned about her behavior. Don't let DD out
of your sight. MIL may take her and go across country or something.
What a wacko.
RESPONSE: Completely Baffled in the South
Has she always been this crazy? If not, then speak to FIL and ask
him to contact their family physician. It's possible that MIL may
need a little hormone adjustment.
RESPONSE: Completely Baffled in the South
Wow! Your MIL sounds just like mine! She had 3 boys. Our DD is
the only girl in all of the grandchildren, and the first grandchild.
PLEASE do not give in - that way lies insanity!!!! Desperately
seeking sanity.
RESPONSE: Completely Baffled in the South
Wow. I used to think that when they made my monster-in-law, they
threw out the mold. BUT, someone, somewhere picked it up and used
it again to make your monster-in-law!!
RESPONSE: Completely Baffled in the South
Your DD is YOUR chance to raise a daughter. MIL did not get that
chance, but she needs to get over it, and be grateful for the two
sons that she has. You and your DH are the only ones who have ANY
say in how your child is raised. She needs to get over that, too.
Tell her to back off and behave, or she will lose her chance to
have any kind of relationship with her grandchild. Grandparenting
is a privilege, not a right.
RESPONSE: Completely Baffled in the South
Oh, lord. My hat is off to those of you, with MILs even REMOTELY
like this, who are brave enough to have kids. Imagining my MIL
behaving like this is the final straw in our decision NOT to have
kids. Best wishes to you. I wish you strength and a lot of good
people in your lives to balance out the trauma of dealing with your
MIL. Who knows, maybe your daughter will benefit from having someone
so fiercely attached to her? I guess that over-the-top, overbearing
attachment beats NOT being loved by someone. But my heart sure
goes out to you.
RESPONSE: Completely Baffled in the South
OMG! I feel as though I just read my own story, down to the two
sons, no DD, and MIL wanting to "help raise" my DD. Even
the part about nobody liking her and not blaming herself for that.
Are you, by any chance, my SIL? I don't know what to say. But
I do feel your pain. My MIL also refers to herself as "mommy"
to my DD when she thinks that nobody is looking. That's just sick.
I usually try to ask her about it around a lot of people so that
she'll be embarrassed. MIL's favorite phrase is, "Why can't
you just share," like we're in kindergarten and my DD is a
toy! It is NOT normal for your ILs to have an equal say in how
you raise your children. And, it is certainly not normal for them
to refer to themselves as "mommy" or "daddy".
Tell her that she had the joy of raising her own children the way
she saw fit, and now it is your turn. I feel for you, GOOD LUCK!
RESPONSE: Completely Baffled in the South
Your story makes me even more sure about my decision not to have
children. I can't imagine having to become super close to my ILs
after having a baby and dealing with people who think that my child
is their second chance to correct what they $&*%%& up!!!!
I'm a private person and I don't like the idea of any family peering
into my life as if it's theirs to manipulate. I would quickly stop
MIL from calling herself mommy, because that just proves that something
is not right in her head. Keep her at a distance. She might have
good intentions, but they are not good for you and your family,
and her behavior needs to stop. Don't let her walk all over you,
or let her disrespect you. You are the mother of that child. You
deserve her respect, not the other way around. She is demented
as to what her role is to your family's life. But, most importantly,
she needs to get a life.
Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
and responses received will be posted as early as our resources will
allow. Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then
posted, all at once, to the original story page at a later date (generally,
one set of responses will be posted per day).
DISCLAIMER: All advice on this website is for informational
and entertainment purposes only. All responses are from reader submissions
unless specifically noted otherwise (such as Dr. Terri Apter advice page).
We do not endorse any of the advice. We provide it to you as a service.
We can neither guarantee the soundness of the advice, nor make any claims
as to the outcome of following this advice. We provide it for your
entertainment only. Should you choose to follow any of the advice,
it is solely at your own risk. This is not intended to substitute
for obtaining advice from appropriate sources and/or professional counseling.
We recommend you consult an appropriate professional, counselor, and/or
a trusted advisor before taking any action based on this advice.
B A Squared, LLC and www.motherinlawstories.com make no representations or
guarantees regarding any information dispensed on this site.
Your privacy is important to us. Click here to view our
Privacy Policy.
