My MIL expected my husband to live
with her for his entire life. So, when we decided to get
married, she went absolutely insane. Even though I treat
my husband like a king, she viewed me as an evil witch who had
come to take her precious son away from her. The night before
our wedding, she kept my husband up until 5:00 in the morning,
screaming at him and trying to convince him to leave me at the
alter. Now, is that a b!tch, or what?
Signed - Sweets
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Worst gift: My MIL and
I had a bad experience when my first son was born. She came
to stay with us for 2 weeks each month after he was born.
She was rude to me during that time, and wanted me just turn him
over and get out of the way. I kindly explained to her that
I wanted her to have time with her new grandson, but it was a special
time for me, too, and I needed time to nurture my new son.
She just got even more hateful and ugly, and I just put up with
it, kept my boundaries, and was as pleasant to her as possible.
Since then, she has never sent me a present for my birthday or Christmas.
She has started doing "couple" gifts, but they have always
been something that my husband would like, or something that he
does as a hobby. But, this last Christmas she sent us a scrapbook
full of facts and pictures of herself that she did all on her computer.
She put the single pages in plastic covers, but she didn't even
put them in a notebook (that was something that we had to buy).
She's a joke that isn't funny anymore! Two years ago was the
last time that we were there, and it was two weeks after my son's
and my birthday. We only have one day between our birthdays.
She threw this huge birthday party just for him. I wasn't
surprised, nor did I expect anything else from her. I did
not want her here because she was just here and it was two weeks
away from her birthday. She kept making comments about her
birthday, and she was wondering if she was going to get anything!
She's so self-absorbed!
Signed - She's So Self-Absorbed!
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
Every time that we go
over to my MIL's place, I basically don't exist (compared to our
4 month old baby). The only time I do exist is for feeding
and diaper changing. The other day, we were having a family
photo with my ILs, DH, and SIL and BIL, and I wasn't allowed to
hold the baby. Only my MIL was. So, now there are a
bunch of family photos with my MIL holding our baby. Every
time I do go to hold the baby (after she has been playing and is
getting a bit grizzly, or if I have just fed her), my MIL takes
her off of me within a moment. She has never once passed her
back to me, even if our baby has been crying in her arms for a while.
So, on my visits there, I just sit there and smile and count the
hours until we can go home.
Signed - What Can I Do?
RESPONSE: What Can I Do?
Buy a sling or a front pack, and don't let go of the baby.
RESPONSE: What Can I Do?
Speak up, my dear!! You have a mouth, do you not?
RESPONSE: What Can I Do?
Who is not allowing you to hold the baby? If DH lets his mother
treat you like this, leave him with his mother - he is still a baby.
RESPONSE: What Can I Do?
Don't let her do that!!!!!!! Stop smiling, and tell her to
give YOUR baby back!!! You would not let a stranger act this
way. You are the child's mother, NOT HER. Take your
baby back, and do not let that evil witch get her claws on her again!!
RESPONSE: What Can I Do?
What can you do? Speak up for yourself, woman, and don't do
your child the disservice of having to be in someone else's arms
when he would rather be in yours. You sound like a mouse,
but you need to reclaim your motherhood and do what feels right,
instead of what she wants you to do.
RESPONSE: What Can I Do?
You can take the baby away from her and tell her "no".
Start setting firm boundaries now. It's your baby, and YOU are
the momma.
RESPONSE: What Can I Do?
So, for the rest of your life you are just going to suffer? Um.
Have you tried talking to your MIL??? I would not let anyone disrespect
me like that, especially my MIL. My advice is to give that old
hag a piece of your mind!!! Good luck!!!
RESPONSE: What Can I Do?
Are you quite mad? What do you mean you weren't ALLOWED to hold
your own baby? Next time someone tries to take your child away
from you, scream blue murder and LEAVE. They will probably call
you an overprotective mother. So what if they do? If you can't
face doing that, buy a baby carrier and wear the baby all the time.
That way, no-one can take him away from you.
RESPONSE: What Can I Do?
I know how you feel. I live with my MIL, her 3 sons, their nana,
my 24 month old DD and 6 month old DS! Every time anyone of my
children cries, she comes running to the rescue and snatches my
babies! At first, I thought that she was just trying to "help".
But, now I see that she is trying to take control of the situation
and make herself look like the wise mother. I resent her, as I
don't need her help! This constant action every day leads me to
think that she believes that I am useless and can't manage my own
children! I am a good mother. I just wish that she would butt
her nose out so that I can have a chance to prove this to myself
and my partner!
RESPONSE: What Can I Do?
I took the same approach, sitting there and smiling sweetly while
my MIL acted as if she were the mother of my new baby, and treated
me as if I was invisible. Over almost 12 years, I have been treated
badly by my ILs, and have just put up with it. I'm a fairly quiet
person, and have had trouble being heard and defending myself around
my bossy, insensitive ILs. Not anymore! A few weeks ago I snapped
and told them to stay out of my life, outlining all the horrible
things that they have done over the years. This was in the presence
of DH, who totally supports me, and has seen for himself how badly
they treat me (but has also felt too intimidated to confront them).
They didn't have much to say in defense, as I have never treated
them badly. I think that becoming a mum has made me no longer willing
to tolerate their nastiness
Worst gift: My MIL's
gifts are not as bad as the ones I've read here, but they are frustrating.
I get a lot of useless junk. And, after knowing me for almost
13 years, you'd think that she'd know a little about the things
that I like. It's not like I haven't said anything, such as,
"I love books. I could spend all day in a bookstore."
Or, "I love bath and body products." But, no, I
continue to get practically every product that is advertised in
an infomercial. I've got the head turban towel thingy, a perfect
pancake maker (neither my DH nor I like pancakes), and enough door
to door cosmetic products to start my own beauty salon. Before
you think I'm completely ungrateful, this woman expects to get the
things that she CIRCLES in catalogs (which she sends to us before
her birthday and holidays). I guess that's what bothers me
the most is that she takes no time to buy me something that she'd
think I'd enjoy, but she expects DH and me to buy her EXACTLY what
she wants. Now that she has a grandson, he's also the recipient
of some odd gifts. When he was born he got a funnel (for what?),
some type of alarm that you put on a seatbelt so that if your child
takes the seatbelt off, you'll know it (I'm sure that most newborns
are good at taking off their seatbelts), and a stack of different
newspapers from the day of his birth. Oh, and the icing on
the cake is that she expects EVERYONE to clap and get excited about
these gifts.
Signed - Thinking of
Having a Garage Sale
RESPONSE: Thinking of Having a Garage Sale
It sounds like she got your baby some neat things. Maybe you should
be grateful. And, of course, a baby can't take off their seat belt,
but it will grow very fast and that item will come in handy.
RESPONSE: Thinking of Having a Garage Sale
I think an "as seen on TV" garage sale is a great idea.
And, be sure to invite MIL so that she can see all of her wonderful
"gifts" up for sale. She sounds like one of those people
who buys gifts because THEY like them, not because the recipient
wants them.
RESPONSE: Thinking of Having a Garage Sale
I would say that she was thinking and not thinking. She saw the
alarm and thought of his safety. Too early, but she did think.
The newspapers are an awesome idea. I love it. The funnel is weird.
But, I have to say that her gifts are touching. Some show love
in strange ways, but they are trying to show love. As for her gifts
for you, she is just not thinking about it from your side. Have
you tried to get her a catalogue of what you want. Mention it early,
so that she will have not bought the stuff for you already. But,
if strange gifts are the least of your problems, I have to say that
you have it good. You did not say that they were mean, so roll
with it and love her.
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