Worst gift: My MIL buys
me a little bit of cr@p usually. For Christmas, 2 years
in a row, she gave me a cheap candle and THE SAME NECKLACE!
My husband didn't believe me until I had him hold the new one
while I went and fished out the old one. On top of that,
it was made of ugly material! My husband said that he wanted
to say something to her, because it was obviously some "great
deal" or freebie that she had on hand. I said no, because
then she will just say how ungrateful I am. Whatever.
I made her feel really bad, I hope, because I have stitched something
personal for her for 2 years now.
Signed - Hope She Feels
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- Cradle Snatcher, 1 of 4 needed/Posted:
29-AUG-03
My DH and I have been together for 10 years, married
for 8. We have two children. When DH and I announced
our engagement to my parents, they opened a bottle of bubbly.
My father shook DH's hand and my stepmother hugged me. My
grandmother gave me a ring that my grandfather gave her to keep
her engagement ring on. They couldn't have been happier.
When we announced our engagement to DH's parents, MIL asked DH if
we could afford to get married.
Signed - gold digger?
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
My son and DIL have two
girls, ages four and one. My DIL has a sister. She is
married with two kids. The girls' mother and I were sort of
friendly at the beginning of my son's marriage, eleven years ago.
We used to go out for dinner, go shopping, and talk on the phone
about once a week. I noticed from the very beginning that
she told me stories about her children and one SIL (not my son),
and these pieces of information were not for me to know. She,
to this day, hates one of her sons-in-law (not my son) and she told
me terrible things about him. When he had a financial loss,
she told me about it and laughed. She has also badmouthed
both of her daughters to me. I did not know better.
I should have told her not to tell me these things. I am sorry
that I did not. Yet, with all of the things that she told
me, I never passed this gossip to anyone. Nor did I ever tell
these kids that I know about them. Five years ago I moved
away. And, soon after, she started to talk about me to her
daughters. I received numerous calls from my son who was very
upset with me because of something that I had supposedly said.
It turned out that I had never said anything to anyone. It
was his evil MIL who had made up a story about me and told it to
her daughter. And, in turn, her daughter, who was very upset,
complained to my son. This happens a few times a year.
Her other daughter is now living near me, and we bump into each
other in the supermarket, park, etc. Innocently, she must
have told her mother. Well, her mother now told this daughter
bad things about me. This mother has NEVER baby-sat for her
own grandchildren. She does not feed them and does not change
their diapers. She does not take them out. She does
not spend time with them. I have changed hundreds of diapers,
fed them, baby-sat them, had them in my house for the weekend, taken
them to the library, the bookstore, the pet store, and what have
you. Yet, I am the bad one. The girls (my DIL and her
sister) don't call me. The sister does not pick up the phone
when I call. I have left messages for her to call me back,
but she doesn't. This woman is ruining whatever relationship
that I'd had with my DIL and with her sister, and it just makes
me sick. How can I live a peaceful life? I hate gossip.
I am very upset, because this woman talks behind my back, even though
she has no reason to. In the meantime, I have restless nights,
while she gets the royal treatment. I was a widow. I
remarried and I am very happy. She is a widow and chose not
to seek anyone. She is negative, selfish, and jealous.
Please help me out of this dilemma. If I go ahead and tell
the girls about the things that their mother said about them, they
won't believe me. And I, myself, don't think that this is
the right thing to do. I hate to be treated this way.
I gave no one cause for this. PLEASE HELP ME SOON. Thanks.
Signed - Unhappy About
the Situation
RESPONSE: Unhappy About the Situation
Please visit the message boards. There you can give more details
and get more responses to help you out.
RESPONSE: Unhappy About the Situation
Wow, my heart goes out to you. This madwoman is crazy. What does
your son say about all this? You know that one day (maybe not anytime
soon!) this is all going to bite her in the @ss!!! Good luck!
RESPONSE: Unhappy About the Situation
What a horrible thing for her to have done to you. Maybe you can
write a note to the girls and let them know the truth, as you know
it, from the bottom of your heart? Good luck.
RESPONSE: Unhappy About the Situation
Hmmm. I always liked to believe that the best revenge is living
well. This woman hates you for the happiness and self-worth you
have. You CAN'T force people to like you. Stop trying so hard.
If this woman is as awful as you say, she'll slip up, and hopefully
DIL will realize that the lies are just that, lies. Send out your
nice birthday cards, etc., be the good person you are, and refuse
to discuss the hag! Your actions should speak for you!
RESPONSE: Unhappy About the Situation
Please stick to your guns. I'm sorry that your DIL's mother is
so toxic (I feel heavy-hearted FOR you, hearing about her). Please
stick to your gut feelings about this matter. You are right not
to spread petty gossip. I'm sorry that you are bearing the burden
of it. When people tell you that kind of stuff, it poisons you
in a way. The less you have to do with this woman, the better.
At least you have learned not to trust her, and you are no longer
listening to the poison that she spreads.
RESPONSE: Unhappy About the Situation
It is amazing that you had a relationship with this viper for 11
years and believed that you would never be bitten. You can call
it naïveté when it happens once or twice, but over an
11 year period? By the second time I would have told my son that
I needed to limit contact with her because she was too negative
about her own children. Then, I would have been cordial but distant
when I had to have contact. You give a gossip ammunition when you
talk to them. It's time to talk to your SON now, but you are right
about taking the high road. He doesn't need to hear all the details.
He'll just think that you were enjoying (and even participating
in) all of the gossip. Ask him what is bothering him and his wife,
and what you can do to remedy it. I have the sneaking suspicion
that some of your problems have more to do with the changes in your
life. You've remarried and moved away. Your own son and his wife
may be less than thrilled with this (although they might never admit
this). Everything is different. You may even be acting differently,
and yet be unaware of it. They may not understand their own feelings
about your remarriage. Her mother saying terrible things is just
giving them an excuse to be angry with you. I don't believe for
a second that all of the family is unaware of this woman's pettiness
or penchant for gossip. If she is as terrible as you have written,
and you once enjoyed a very wonderful relationship with DIL, it
should eventually work out. Don't expect it to be the same as it
was before, though, since so much has changed. Also, DIL may feel
betrayed by the fact that you were privy to a lot of private information
from a source that you did not choose to stop.
This past weekend, the
kids and I went to a birthday party for my DH's niece. On
our way over there, my DS (13 months old) fell asleep. We
got to the party, and my MIL and two SILs just waved to us.
I was glad that there wasn't any room at the table that they were
sitting at. We were able to find a spot at a different table.
About five minutes passed by and one of my SILs made her way over
to our table. She barely said hello, and then she started
touching the baby. I told her that he had just fallen asleep.
Why did she start rubbing his leg, squeezing his hand and then his
foot? I was so angry. Didn't I just tell her that he
had just fallen asleep? I finally told her, "DO NOT WAKE
HIM UP! I JUST FINISHED TELLING YOU THAT HE JUST FELL ASLEEP!!!"
She then said, "Oh well, I was leaving anyway."
What kind of cr@p was that? My DS woke up about 15 minutes
later. Guess who came over to the table? One of my other
SILs. Did she bother to say hello to me or DD? No.
She looked directly at my DS and said, "Come on baby, come
with your auntie." My DS turned his head away from her
and was holding on to my neck for dear life. Did she ever
stop to think that maybe if she came around and actually visited
once in a while, my DS would not be so frightened of her and might
actually let her hold him? Ten minutes later another SIL arrived
at the party with her boyfriend. I actually get along with
this last SIL. My son had just finished eating and had just
had a bottle. Just then she told me, "Oh, let me have
the baby so that I can take him to see my mom." I told
her that I would take him to see her instead. I walked over
to the table where my MIL was sitting. She said hello, but
my SIL pretty much ignored me. My MIL held the baby and said
to me, "Oh, he looks thirsty. SIL, please give him some
soda." HELLO!!! I do not give my 13 month old soda!!!
I told her that he had just finished eating and that he'd had a
bottle. He wasn't thirsty. And besides that, he is not
allowed to have soda. She then asked why he wasn't allowed
to have soda. Am I alone on this here? I told her that
soda is not good for him. And therefore, I do not allow him
to have it. She then told my SIL to give him some potato chips.
Are chips better than soda? I again had to tell her that he
couldn't have them either because they were not good for him.
By this time I was done visiting with them and I went back to my
table. My SIL (the nice one) asked if she could hold the baby
and I told her yes. PLEASE tell me why she tried to give him
onion dip. I stopped her before it even reached his mouth.
She then asked, "Why can't he have any? It has milk in
it." I told her that he wasn't allowed to have onion
dip. She then told my DS, "Oh, you poor baby. Your
mother doesn't allow you to have anything!" To this I
replied, "You're damned right I don't." I then told
my DD that we were leaving. I said good-bye to my DH's nephew
and his lovely wife. I felt bad leaving the party because
it wasn't their fault, but I wasn't going to sit there all afternoon
and play bodyguard to my DS. Let me tell you, it felt really
good standing up to all of them!!!!!!! The kids and I went
home, watched our favorite movie, and vegged out for the rest of
the afternoon!
Signed - Sick Of Them
RESPONSE: Sick Of Them
They sound stressful to deal with. I can see why you felt pushed
to the edge by them!
RESPONSE: Sick Of Them
You need to lighten up! You sound really angry, and I don't know
if I would want to say hello to you either.
RESPONSE: Sick Of Them
Times are different, and not everyone has the same strict set of
rules for what their kids can eat. Chalk it up to honest ignorance.
And do yourself a favor: Loosen up!!
RESPONSE: Sick Of Them
Good for you. They sound awful, and I can't bear to think of a
perfect young child getting polluted with the garbage that they
tried to feed him. Why, oh why do people insist on treating children
like dolls?
RESPONSE: Sick Of Them
You're right when it comes to what to feed your child. My DD was
never allowed to eat junk at that age, either. These trashy people
have no idea about nutrition for a child. They need to be told,
just as you did!
RESPONSE: Sick Of Them
Onion dip, soda and chips. Weren't there any other goodies to be
had at this party that your son would have been allowed? I can
see that your ILs would want to give your son a little treat, since,
after all, it was a party. But, what terrible choices for a 13
month old. I agree that your ILs are a bunch of clods, but you
should loosen up just a little, too. This was, after all, a child's
birthday party that you were bringing your children to. Gathering
your brood to leave a party (in a huff!) full of people whom you
seem to like sounded like a bit much. Who were you punishing exactly?
RESPONSE: Sick Of Them
I'm sorry, but you sound overprotective of your child. Things may
hurt your child, and you want to keep them away, but this iron cage
you seem to have placed around the child will destroy your relationship
with your whole family. They may do dumb things, but never harmful.
The need to relax is in your court. Invite them over, say that
you are overly protective and that you'd like to start over. Give
out the peace signs before the family turns on you, as they should.
Why does onion dip hurt a child? Soda is not great, but it will
not kill. Relax. Is this your first? It sounds like it.
RESPONSE: Sick Of Them
I am right there with you. My son was not allowed to have soda
(he is 11 and still rarely has it), chips or sweets when he was
that young. The first sweet thing my son ever had was birthday
cake on his 1st birthday, and, even then, it was just a couple of
bites. Now, my 11 year old son loves his vegetables, and drinks
lots of water and milk. He doesn't beg for candy or chips, or anything
like that. My son can make sensible food choices, because I was
adamant about making sure that he ate correctly when he was young.
You did the right thing, and I applaud you for being so diligent
in taking care of your children's health. Parents who feed their
kids all of that junk and then complain about why are their kids
so obese really piss me off. Healthy eating habits are learned,
you are not born with them.
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