Worst gift: I registered,
because our wedding had to be sped up, because my fiancé
got stationed overseas unexpectedly. So, for us to get married
with our families around, we threw together a small, but very
elegant wedding at my parent's house about 1 week before he got
shipped off. Well, my ILs gave us every cheap piece of cr@p
kitchen item that they could find. The toaster that they
gave us was something that you would of see in the late 70's early
80's. They gave us things that were very outdated looking,
and I don't mean to sound b!tchy, but the stuff was that outdated
looking. I mean, their son was getting married, and you'd
think that they could buy something a little nicer and more pleasant
to look at. It looked like the possession of a person who
hadn't shopped for new appliances since 1970 something.
Either way, I'm thankful. But, I just wonder if they were
trying to say that they didn't think we were going to last, so
why buy nice stuff? From the looks of it, it's been 2 years
and we are ...
Signed - Still On Our
Honeymoon
0
1
0
Strongly Agree
Somewhat Agree
Somewhat Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Please Seek Counseling
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Worst gift: My in-laws
are a special breed. My FIL is WORSE than my MIL. For
years now, they have been coming to my home, and they are always
empty-handed. For 23 years they have brought NOTHING.
They spend the day and have 2 plus square meals (I spend lots of
money on steak and goodies, etc.). FIL is always demeaning
to me for NO REASON at ALL, especially since I am the breadwinner,
the mommy, the housekeeper and the gardener. And, basically,
I am the one who has kept, and always will keep, MY kids together.
MY DH does as he pleases, who knows what that is??? DH hasn't
had a job, nor an income, in 20 years. And, again, I used
to take cr@p from these lowlife, useless freebies till I put the
ka-bosh on that and said "later" to those unappreciative,
and useless @sses. They never have given my kids anything
of value or anything memorable. They come over, swim in my
pool (they used to hang at the beach with their entire extended
family of 14), eat my food, drink my booze, and read my papers.
They never even TALK to my kids, let alone interact with them (now
14 and 20), SAD, but TRUE! Helping out and cleaning up has
never happened. Bring a gift? What is that? Bring
a cheesecake? How about the back and forth bottle of $3 champagne
that I have etched a notch in now for the past 12-15 years?
They bring it for every special occasion - Bar/Bat Mitzvahs, anniversaries
and birthdays. I give it back every year on the KING'S birthday!
The FIL, GOD knows, I can't overlook that special day in history!!!
Grandiose presents - 2 to 3 cameras (ALL LOST), 2 televisions, a
digital camera, tennis rackets - every year we gave him something
else. Every year the gift was lost or stolen. They give
wonderful gifts to my children - the baby bra and panties in a size
1 (to fit a 24 lb. baby, not a 14 year old freshman in high school)
that was purchased from a discount department store or the check
for $5 to a college sophomore. Unfortunately, these items
are never missing and or stolen. It's amazing how that works.
The big presents are LOST, the little ones are not. What is
wrong with this picture? On to the next story. I have
a billion.
Signed - On To The Next
Story
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
Worst gift: FMIL gave
DF (her 24 year-old son) a kite for his military graduation.
She also gave him one of those slap on bracelets with the cameo
print. Obviously, she doesn't understand that he is 24.
When we got home, we just laughed!
Signed - Annoyed DIL
- A Kite?
I am engaged to be married
in four months to the best guy in the world. He is an only
child who is living with his parents until the wedding. His
mother, however, scares the bejeezus out of me. Since the
first time I met the FILs, she has been telling my FH all of the
things that she doesn't like about me. He had been passing
these along to me, not to insist that I change, but just so that
I'd be aware of the situation. Then, last week, she ambushed
him at 11 o'clock at night with a two-hour onslaught. Among
my offenses are: Not wearing make-up, not graduating from
high school (I left early to attend college and I have a master's
degree in math from a major university), not being close enough
with my own family, not offering FH food from my plate when we all
go out for dinner (he's welcome to take anything he wants), purposely
excluding her from the wedding planning just to be mean (the FILs
are not paying for anything), not wearing the correct kind of shoes
with dressy outfits, and many others. The next day he told
her that she had to stop saying those things and keep them to herself.
When she found out that he had been telling me about her complaints,
she was very upset with him, and insisted that the rift between
us is his fault. She told him that she will keep things to
herself from now on, but now I am more terrified than ever that
I will do something wrong whenever we get together. My stomach
is in knots. She says that I haven't done anything to make
her and FFIL feel welcome, even though I have twice invited them
over to my apartment for homemade desserts, and took them to meet
my family last year at Thanksgiving. I have never been invited
to their house. But, according to FH, they are pack-rats,
and are too ashamed to have company. I love my FH dearly,
and can't imagine the rest of my life without him, but, sometimes
I feel like I'm walking into a den of vipers. FH tries his
best to reassure me that it doesn't matter what they think.
But, even though I know that they are more than a little nuts, I'm
still nervous about meeting up with them again.
Signed - Thoroughly Terrified
RESPONSE: Thoroughly Terrified
Get married, and then move very far away from these nuts!
RESPONSE: Thoroughly Terrified
Are you going to let this woman make your life miserable? Come
on now, if DF is supportive of you when it comes to the in-laws,
why are you all a tremble inside. They can only intimidate you
if you let them. Chin up and be yourself!
RESPONSE: Thoroughly Terrified
Your FH has it right - it doesn't matter what they think, because
what you think doesn't matter to them! Having nice ILs would be
wonderful, but is not always possible. "Nice" is a two-way
street.
RESPONSE: Thoroughly Terrified
DON'T BE SCARED!!! That's how she is gaining power over you!!
She's being catty, and basically trying to show you who's boss.
Whatever! Don't let her have that power over you. Forget her!!!
Do you want to be dominated like that?
RESPONSE: Thoroughly Terrified
Run, run as fast as you can. You are about to marry a mama's boy.
Unless he can show you that he can, and will, put his foot down
to stamp out his mama's "unusual behavior", you are headed
for disaster. Seek counseling immediately, and try to take him
with you. Good luck.
RESPONSE: Thoroughly Terrified
DO NOT go out of your way for these people. Your MIL is a petty
person, and will obviously find something wrong with you no matter
what you say, do, or wear. Just be yourself, and try not to care
what she thinks. Good luck with your wedding, also! Having a good
life with FDH is the best revenge against a horrible person like
your FMIL.
RESPONSE: Thoroughly Terrified
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. It sounds like my MIL. I put up with it for 7 years.
Then, my DH finally clued in that what his mom was doing was wrong,
bad, evil, (the list really goes on and on and on). I haven't spoken
to the witch in 9 months now, and life is so much better. My ulcer,
I believe, is almost completely healed!!!!!!! Praise the Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RESPONSE: Thoroughly Terrified
DH should not have told you what his mother said. He should have
privately told her to just knock it off. But, at least she knows
that he cares enough not to let her get away with what she says
without you hearing about it. I guess. Your DF needs to not tell
you every little hurtful thing. Instead, he should have shut her
up a long time ago. My brother did this to my mother shortly before
he married a wonderful girl.
RESPONSE: Thoroughly Terrified
Why in the world are you *afraid* of her?? It seems like your DH
understands that she's trying to make you look bad, and he even
stood up for you. She is who she is. Be polite, etc., to her.
Just don't forget that fact, and don't let your guard down. Letting
her scare you just gives her the upper hand. Be yourself, and be
the strong one. Limit your contact with her if you need to. No
one says that you even have to talk to the woman when you're in
the same room! A polite yes and no will eventually shut her up.
RESPONSE: Thoroughly Terrified
Look through the site. The most important thing that matters in
dealing with in-laws is DH. Does DH put you first? Does DH understand
that it's his responsibility to deal with his parents when they
are asses? IF the answers are both yes, then forget about his insane,
dysfunctional, freaky (whatever flavor you have) family, and enjoy
being married to a wonderful MAN. If the answer to either is NO,
then cut your losses and leave the boy now. Marriage can be wonderful
or terrible, and it's going to change from year to year. But, for
a marriage to succeed, it needs both partners to be committed to
its success. No one can serve 2 masters, and if she is still a
daddy's girl, or he is a momma's boy, it just won't work well in
the long run.
RESPONSE: Thoroughly Terrified
It sounds like FH has his priorities and loyalties straight. I'm
sorry to say, but your need to win the approval of these people,
who are obviously a bit wacko, when your FH doesn't even care what
they say, is your own self-esteem problem. I strongly suggest counseling.
The FILs may be vipers, but FDH doesn't seem to want any part of
their den. Why on earth do you care so much about what a couple
of wackos think when their own son doesn't take them seriously?
If you sincerely love FH, why would you consider leaving him when
it's his parents you want to escape from? Best of luck, sincerely.
Please consider personal counseling BEFORE the wedding.
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