I recently gave birth to our second
child and had a two week bout of the "baby blues".
My MIL, who lives in another state, called and said the craziest
thing yet to have come out of her mouth. And, trust me,
there have been some that have almost come close to this.
She told me that she would love to come stay with us for a while
and help out with the kids and the household, but it would be
easier for her if we sent our two year old on a plane by himself
to stay at her home. She lives 1500 miles away from us.
Then, she said that she would take care of him (our two year old
boy) at her home while taking a couple weeks off work. First
of all, NO, I wouldn't send a 10 year old on a plane, let alone
a two year old. Is she nuts? Secondly, she is an adult
and also a store manager who makes the schedules out for the employees
and decides what days she wants to work. You would think
that she would be able to come out to where we live and spend
two weeks just as easily as she could stay at home. She
hasn't seen us in almost two years, and she wants us to send our
two year old to her. She had six children. Shouldn't
she be the slightest bit informed about child safety? UGH.
Somehow ...
Signed - Nothing She
Says Shocks Me Anymore
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My MIL makes me sick.
I'm lucky that I haven't had to be around her as much as most other
DILs are around their MILs. I live on the other side of the
country. When DH was able to take a short amount of leave
from his deployment to visit, she went nuts. She expected
him to fly right to his home state and visit. His visit was
less than three weeks, and we could not afford to take a trip to
his home. She was pissed, to say the least, but she managed
to keep her head for once. Instead, she just harassed the
he!! out of us with phone calls and those Instant Messages online.
Even though she was aware of the fact that DH and I have separate
screen names, she still sent me about a billion "IM's"
a day asking, "Hi, is this DS?", or, "Where is DS?",
"When is DS going to call?", and "Hi DS, how are
you?" What makes me most angry about MIL is her excessive
need to compete with me over stupid things. I wouldn't have
even expected it to turn into a competition in the first place.
No matter what it is, she's done it, and done it a way better at
than DH and I. At one point we were both in the military,
and we were both mechanics of some kind. Of course MIL knows
EVERYTHING about vehicles. When I was able to get a car salesman
to lower his price on a vehicle that we purchased by just a thousand
dollars, MIL was able to get a salesman to drop three thousand dollars.
When I went to school and was certified for a particular field,
MIL had already been working in this field and was SO good that
she didn't need to be certified. DH picked up on this quickly
and would ask, "Oh really, tell me about it?", or "That's
funny, I don't ever remember you doing that sort of thing?"
MIL would either ignore his comments, or leave suddenly. My
question is this, if the woman is just SO great at everything, why
is it that she can never keep a job? Oh, I know, it is because
she is lazy and drinks all night. Sorry, just needed to vent.
Thank you.
Signed - She's A Pushy
Cow
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
I come here often to
see what other poor souls are going through. My in-laws are
with me right now for another 21 weeks (I mark the days off on my
calendar). They have this feeling that we are starving our
7 month old baby. Just because he is thin, that does not mean
that he is not well fed. Both my husband and I are overweight
and we were glad when the doc said that from my son's growth chart,
he would be tall and average, weight wise. Yesterday, when
DH was carrying and playing with DS, MIL had the gall to tell me
that he was going to love his daddy more than me. I didn't
care, as long as DS loved us and was happy. Then, in the evening
(after DH and MIL had a fight) DS was playing with me. And,
just to make DH feel bad, MIL said that DS was going to love me
more. But, to beat all that, she was feeling bad that DS would
love us more than he would love her!!!!!!!!!!
Signed - Help Me Get
Through The Next 21 Weeks!!!!!
RESPONSE: Help Me Get Through The Next 21 Weeks!!!!!
KICK HER OUT!!!
RESPONSE: Help Me Get Through The Next 21 Weeks!!!!!
What in the world ever POSSESSED you to have your ILs stay with
you for 21 weeks? I think 21 HOURS with my ILs would be a real
challenge!
RESPONSE: Help Me Get Through The Next 21 Weeks!!!!!
What the he!! is she doing at your house for 21 weeks? That is
a mistake in itself. No one should live with ILs or parents that
long after you are grown and have moved out. It just causes trouble.
My MIL gives hundreds
of dollars to her 26 year old grandson (not my child) each month.
Then, she comes to my DH and asks for money to cover her own expenses.
He caves and gives it to her. We have discussed this with
her, with her grandson, and with each other until there is nothing
more to say. My stand is this: The GS needs to learn
that he needs to get a job and support himself, and he is perfectly
capable of doing so. By giving him all the money that he asks
for, she is not helping him one bit. Who is going to give
him his money when she is no longer around? She said that
she got it, but then, when he called with a new story about why
he needed money, the check went into the mail, ASAP. I have
no problem helping my MIL with her bills if she needs the money
for herself, but I do not want to support the bum. Any advice?
Signed - Tired of Supporting
a Bum
RESPONSE: Tired of Supporting a Bum
Stop giving her money.
RESPONSE: Tired of Supporting a Bum
Stop giving your MIL any money.
RESPONSE: Tired of Supporting a Bum
Quit sending money. If she can't cover her own bills, she'll quit
giving what she has away.
RESPONSE: Tired of Supporting a Bum
Yeah, stop giving her money! You guys keep telling her, but you
keep giving her money. So, stop already!
RESPONSE: Tired of Supporting a Bum
Your MIL is not helping her 26 year old grandson. You and DH are!
Maybe you all should keep your money to yourselves, and everyone
will learn to manage with what they have.
RESPONSE: Tired of Supporting a Bum
Yes, stop giving her money!!! You are allowing her to help out
this deadbeat by supporting her. Let her go a month or so without
spending money. Let her get behind on her bills, and DON'T bail
her out! She needs to figure out that her actions have consequences.
RESPONSE: Tired of Supporting a Bum
This sounds sooo familiar. My own brother milked our grandma out
of her savings by the time all was said and done. The sad thing
is that you can't stop her from giving her GS money. BUT, you can
stop bailing her out when she does. Basically, YOU'RE giving him
money, and it's not hurting her at all. From now on, tell her that
if she decides to give away her bill money, then her bills won't
be paid. It's the only way either one will learn. I hope everything
works out!
RESPONSE: Tired of Supporting a Bum
MIL is a fool and an enabler, but YOUR problem is with your DH for
"caving" when she asks for money. Isn't it your money,
too? He must have some idea as to how you feel about this. Why
is he more concerned with cooperating with his mother than with
cooperating with his wife? The advice here is, brace up and face
the fact that your real problem is DH, and then try to do something
about it. You deserve his consideration. Best of luck.
RESPONSE: Tired of Supporting a Bum
You and DH have to stop giving her money. It's her business what
she does with her money, and you can't do anything about that.
But, it's your business what you do with yours. If you stop giving
HER money, she'll either stop giving the GS money, or end up living
on the street. And, that's HER choice. It's not her son's job
to bail her out of her financial irresponsibility, especially when
it's a problem so easily solved.
RESPONSE: Tired of Supporting a Bum
MIL is enabling her GS, but your DH is enabling MIL. That is the
only thing that you can (and need to) correct. DH should really
handle this himself, but he is not going to. If you are willing
to play the bad guy, start controlling the money. Make MIL justify
to you how she spends her money. Contrary to any protests she might
make, you have every right to every detail of her finances if she
is going to come to you for money.
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