I have been pushed over the edge.
My MIL has called me names. My FIL said that I am lazy,
that I don't like to cook, and that I am nosey. But, MIL
is the one who is like that. I heard her once say to my
FIL that she listened to my conversations at the bedroom door
when we used to live with them. She would scream at my DH,
or someone, all the time. We had just gotten home from a
busy day at work, and were cleaning the bedroom. And, she
had the nerve to call DH to the living room. She told him
to go to her car and get her seeds out so that she could eat them
while she sat on the couch watching TV. She is two-faced.
They come and play nice to my face, and then they stab me in the
back. I once asked her for some help with a curtain, and
then she started telling everyone that I cannot decorate.
I'm sorry, but she is the one who can't decorate. If there
was a magazine for the worst house, she would get it. She
told me that when my DH and I get ready to have a child, it is
going to be at her home every day with its own nursery.
I don't think so. She takes my SIL's son, and says that
she is his mother, and she says that he likes her more than his
own mother. He would not follow any of the mother's rules.
Then, she wonders why they have no relationship and she doesn't
get to see her two grandchildren. She will not have my children
after what I found out that she did to DH.
Signed - Tired
0
1
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Strongly Agree
Somewhat Agree
Somewhat Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Please Seek Counseling
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Worst gift: I have received
2 presents from my ILs. The 1st was when were just engaged.
His family traveled the 60 minutes to take me out to dinner for
my birthday. However, because my FFIL is the world's cheapest
person, we HAD to go to the one restaurant in town that gave the
birthday person a FREE piece of cake. HE ate the cake!
The 2nd gift I got was a very well received gift certificate.
It was given to me on the Christmas that I was pregnant. In
9 years those are the only gifts that I have received from the in-laws.
My DH's brother and his wife, whom I can't stand, were kind enough
to give me a card for Christmas one year with my gift inside.
A gift certificate? A check? Cash? Nope!
I couldn't get that lucky myself. It was a $1 lotto ticket!!!!
Did I win? Of course not! That is the ONLY gift that
I have received from BIL and SIL. BIL alone is great.
It's his wife who NO ONE can stand. MY DH and I used to spend
money and time picking out his family's gifts. We don't do
that any longer. We just worry about the kids. But,
does our DD get any gifts? Usually not. I don't believe
that we're going to the in-laws for Christmas this year, as there
is no point. There is no love in that family. The ironic
part is that the only one whom we get along with is his mom.
She's an angel who married the devil, and she can't escape.
Signed - NOT Shopping
For Them
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
I have a 23 month old
baby girl and a 6 month old boy. Unfortunate circumstances
have resulted in my family living with my MIL and 2 BILs.
The BILs are 27 and 22. MIL is constantly yelling at BILs
in front of my daughter. My daughter is mimicking MIL and
starting to yell offensively, too. Being 2, she is doing it
for attention, as MIL makes a fuss and laughs every time my daughter
yells just like her. I politely requested that MIL ignore
my daughter each time she yells, as laughing at her encourages her
to do it more. She ignored my request. The day after
I made the request, she came home from work with a book and said
to me, " My friend lent me this book for you. You might
find some tips in it on how to stop your daughter from yelling."
The title of the book was " How To Be A Better Parent".
I found this upsetting and rude. My partner told me that I
was overreacting, and that she is just trying to be nice by helping.
Am I overreacting?
Signed - Not Good Enough
RESPONSE: Not Good Enough
No, you are not overreacting. Your MIL is a rude cow.
RESPONSE: Not Good Enough
What a b!tch. You aren't overreacting.
RESPONSE: Not Good Enough
No, you are not overreacting. But, your boyfriend probably thinks
that you are, because it's what he is used to hearing in that house!
RESPONSE: Not Good Enough
I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but if you don't like it,
MOVE OUT!!! People like your MIL will never listen. So, try your
best to get the he!! out of there.
RESPONSE: Not Good Enough
Stop, take a good look around, and decide if that is the way you
want to live your life. Is it the life you want for your child?
If the answer is no, start working on getting on with the life that
you want.
RESPONSE: Not Good Enough
MOVE OUT! MOVE OUT! MOVE OUT! Do whatever it takes to get out
of there. Your MIL is a witch! You owe a better life to your children
than staying there.
RESPONSE: Not Good Enough
Heck no, you're not overreacting. LOL. Tell her that you already
know how to get your daughter to stop yelling, and hand the book
back to her. Tell her to read what you already know. And, get
the heck out of that house, ASAP!
RESPONSE: Not Good Enough
Tell your partner that there was nothing "nice" about
the way that his mom treated you. Your partner should open his/her
eyes. A Nice MIL would have let it go, but not try to remedy the
situation. Someone has left his/her "mother-blinders"
on again.
RESPONSE: Not Good Enough
You are not overreacting, and your MIL is not trying to help. She
is trying to be a passive aggressive hag. I would suggest that
you and your partner move out as soon as possible. It's not good
for your DD to pick up on your MIL's habits. You should, maybe,
think about having a serious talk with your partner, too. It's
obvious that he doesn't think that his mom's behavior is wrong,
but it is. Counseling might be in order here.
RESPONSE: Not Good Enough
I gather that you are not married to your baby's daddy from your
story. If I read it wrong, I am sorry. But, if you are not married,
then you have no reason to stay and put up with his mother's blatant
disregard for your rules and decisions as a parent. IF you are
married, then get your DH to move out with you. In any event, you
need to leave that house - WHATEVER it takes. If she's undermining
you now and teaching your child bad habits, how's it going to be
a year from now? Read the writing on the wall and GET OUT!!
My MIL is fake, inconsiderate,
and a hypocrite. I have a 4 year old daughter, and when I
was pregnant with her I thought that my ILs would be so excited
and spoil the baby before she was even here. That did not
happen. The ILs did not throw me a shower, buy any gifts,
or even come to the hospital (we live in the same town). However,
my MIL and I worked at the same company, and she did like to brag
to everyone about how she was buying this and that for the baby,
and how she could not wait for the baby to get here. What
a lie! At this point, I decided that my MIL and SILs did not
like me, and I pretty much stayed away. When my daughter was
3 months old, my SIL had the nerve to call me and ask if I would
help her and my MIL throw a baby shower for one of her friends.
And I, being the nice person that I am, said, "Of course."
To be honest with you, I am tired of being nice. I wish that
I was like Debra on "Everyone Loves Raymond". She
bites her tongue most of the time, but sometimes she really lets
Marie have it. I think I would feel better and would be more
forgiving if I was able to do that. By the way, I live next
door to my ILs, which makes my situation all the more difficult.
How do I forgive and forget?
Signed - The Grudge Holder
RESPONSE: The Grudge Holder
You forgive, you don't forget (because then you won't remember when
it happens again, and you get all mad again), and then you move
the he!! away.
RESPONSE: The Grudge Holder
OMG, you live next door to your MIL, AND you work at the same company,
and this is the way she acts??? I feel very sorry for you. I think
that I would have shot myself already if I were in your situation.
RESPONSE: The Grudge Holder
Your family (or DH's family) are not supposed to throw you a baby
shower. This is supposed to be done by friends. You are upset
because they are not spoiling your baby and doing things for you
that you think they should be doing. Give me a break. Get over
it and move on.
RESPONSE: The Grudge Holder
MOVE! Oh, and stop biting your tongue. Sheesh, what are you waiting
for? That being said, nobody owes you a shower. Actually, showers
are not properly given by family, but, rather, by friends.
RESPONSE: The Grudge Holder
You could forgive, but you could never forget. Just be happy that
you have a beautiful baby, and ignore your stupid in-laws.
RESPONSE: The Grudge Holder
Get over the sense of entitlement. Nobody was obligated to throw
you a shower or get you any gifts. Forget about it.
RESPONSE: The Grudge Holder
You do not need to get angry, just get on with your life. Do not
place yourself in the path of abuse and anger.
RESPONSE: The Grudge Holder
Forgive and forget. But, DON'T forget that they will continue to
be the way that they are. You already know what they're like, etc.
Don't let them walk all over you. If you don't want to do something,
tell them no. Case closed. You're not being "nice",
you're being walked on.
RESPONSE: The Grudge Holder
I know how you feel. My MIL also likes to brag about what gifts
she's going to buy, but never does. Sometimes, I also want to be
like Debra, but I bite my tongue. I don't want to do that any more,
and you shouldn't either. The more you hold it in, the more you
just want to explode and lash out. Plus, they are going to think
that they can just keep on doing it.
RESPONSE: The Grudge Holder
Why do people seem to think that it is the best thing to move RIGHT
next door to the ILs, or any family for that matter. It's the biggest
no-no for any marriage. They're not like regular neighbors who
aren't interested in becoming super chummy with you. Regular neighbors
could not care less whether you are coming or going at 12 in the
afternoon. Family feels the need to be in your house at any given
time, and that you no longer need privacy. And, if you have children,
they feel that they are also entitled to step all over your personal
space at any time, or all the time.!!!!!!!
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