She needs at least 10 hours of
sleep, even though she sleeps off and on all the time, and gets
up all night long to smoke. She orders my son to bed at
8:00 pm so that she can get her sleep. She knows all about
real estate law, and she is right, even 20 years later.
She must read a lot of law books. Now, according to her,
my son has ADD. So, now she is a psychologist? She's
raising my son and setting his schedule. Next, she's going
to be telling my GF what schools to be sending him to. She
must be the man of the house. What the f??? am I here for?
After all, no one listens to me anyway. I know, to pay the
bills. All she does is lay on her @ss all f???ing day and
expects it all to work her way. Well, I'm sick of it.
And, GF wonders why I'm not out there, even on my days off.
I don't have any say in this house. And, yet, now that I
have a job, I pay all the bills and still have to deal with this.
She b!tches about everything. She takes a shower whenever
she finds the time to get up and waddle to the bathroom, even
though GF tells her that she needs a shower. She puts it
off as long as she can. I can't stand being around her anymore.
This is one of the reasons that I have considered going back on
the road. But if this job works out, then that helps me
out a great deal. I don't have to be around her any more
than I have to. And, if my business builds, I can start
making enough money to move to another state where she won't want
to live. I really hope FMIL doesn't move with us.
If she does, I will then have to make other plans. Q: How
many mothers-in-law does it take to ruin a marriage? A:
Just one - mine!
Signed - Going Nuts
With the FMIL in the House
0
1
0
Strongly Agree
Somewhat Agree
Somewhat Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Please Seek Counseling
Continue on Message
Board
Worst gift: For my last
birthday I received a 1000 piece puppy puzzle from my MIL.
She didn't buy one thing that I had on my birthday list.
Signed - Puppy Puzzle
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
When MIL called to invite
us for Christmas last year, she had to mention "the Christmas
gift" (no mention as to what it was) that DH and his ex had
given her. It was in her dining room where we, of course,
gather for Christmas dinner. Oh! No, it was not a gift
that they'd given her this year. They'd given it to her more
than THIRTY YEARS ago! HELLO! They got divorced 30 years
ago when the ex had an affair and decided to marry another guy.
They were married for less than three years, and had no kids.
DH and I have been married for almost 25 years, and we have four
children! Apparently, the purpose of that little comment was
to get me wondering just what the gift was. Sorry if she was
disappointed. I didn't gaze around the room at dinner looking
at all the little knickknacks that she has scattered everywhere
wondering which one they gave her! That marriage is over and
it has been for a long, long time. GET OVER IT!
Signed - Tired of MIL
Antics
RESPONSE: Tired of MIL Antics
Good for you for not taking the bait. She sounds pretty desperate.
RESPONSE: Tired of MIL Antics
Your MIL is a b!tch. She only mentioned that to get you riled up.
You reacted in the best way possible.
RESPONSE: Tired of MIL Antics
The games that some people think up!! Good for you for refusing
to play. I think that MIL is a few cards short of a deck.
My DF and I have been
together for two years. We have a great friendship and relationship.
I have 2 children from a previous relationship. He loves them
as his own. He moved here to be with me from another state.
He is also 4 years younger than I am. We both work very hard
to take care of our family and try to do our best for each other.
His mother comes from another state to visit us. And, lately,
it has been whenever she feels like it. She never really asks
if it is ok (maybe she has asked a few times), but she makes it
a habit to just let us know when she is coming. I feel that
it is unfair to us. Since we are raising two children, we
are very busy with work and taking care of things at home.
When she comes, she wants to lay on the couch for 2 or 3 days and
is not very excited about doing anything with us. I realize
that we are a lot busier than she would be at home, but we have
2 very active boys, and we are happy to do things with them when
we have time off, which is when she is here (every break, every
vacation, every holiday). The last time she came, she brought
one of her nieces with her, and she acted like my fiancé
was just suppose to cater to her and her niece. One morning,
she asked my boys to get out of their own room so that her niece
could sleep. I feel like she has no respect when she is in
our home for me or my children. Her son is very important
to her. I understand that he is the only child, but he is
a man now. I feel that she can't accept that. Also,
the last time that we were here we went out to eat. My fiancé
and I sat and talked with each other, or should I say argued, because
I was very unhappy with the way his mom was acting. She had
gone to pay and took all three kids with her. After she paid,
we were still talking. She came over to the table and said,
"I'm here." She did not care that we were talking,
no respect. She just tried to get attention. My fiancé
snapped at her and told her, "Mom, we are trying to talk here."
Well, she sat in the car and was upset that he had snapped at her.
I don't know what to do sometimes. It bothers me so much.
I have never spoken to her about it, simply because, when he says
things to her, she starts crying and pouting. She sits in
our bedroom crying about how she ruins everything. I can't
handle that. I love my fiancé He is the greatest
man that I have ever met. After she left last time, we talked
about the way things were with his mom, and he agreed with a lot
of what I was feeling, but he never really says anything to her.
I feel that he can't, because he has to deal with her breaking down,
crying, and not trying to understand that he has a family and she
needs to let him be a man. I totally respect his relationship
with her, and do my best to support him in any way, but I cannot
be happy with someone who comes into my home and disrespects me
and our family in our home. She was coming on vacation this
year with us. She never asked to come. She said, "I'm
coming this day and leaving this day." So, I talked to
my fiancé, and told him that we never get to have time for
just us, and that his mom takes up every vacation and every time
we have time off from work. I told him that I didn't want
to spend all my time off with his mother who just shows up at our
house. So, he talked to her and she didn't come. She
has apologized for the way she acted last time. She was here,
but, honestly, I don't think that things will change. I know
that she realizes that she is not being fair to us and respecting
our time. She has said this before, and has acted like things
would change, but they really haven't. Please help.
I am trying to move past this, and I am trying really hard to hope
for the best the next time she comes, but my fear is that she won't
change and my fiancé won't say anything. Then, I have
to be the bad guy and say something. Please, I would like
any advice on how to handle this. Thanks.
Signed - Unhappy
RESPONSE: Unhappy
DF needs to grow up and be a man. He is letting his momma manipulate
him. Get a real man; they're better!!
RESPONSE: Unhappy
1. RESOLVE THIS BEFORE YOU GET MARRIED!
2. The issue seems to be a lack of respect for you and your feelings
- not by FMIL, but by FDH. Work on this problem. If you can fix
it, FMIL becomes much less of a problem.
RESPONSE: Unhappy
Your DF needs to bite the bullet and tell his mom that she is welcome
to visit twice a year only. It's not fair on you that she is there
for your every break. You may reconsider marrying this "man"
if he can't put your needs before his mother's. Good luck.
RESPONSE: Unhappy
Why do you let her stay at your house? Tell her to get her lazy
butt to a hotel. Also, tell your DH that he is a man now, and needs
to stand up for his family. If he can't do that, then you need
to find someone else.
RESPONSE: Unhappy
FMIL cries and pouts because she knows that DF will give in and
she will get her way. This childish method works because you and
DF give in to her! You and DF need to set boundaries and start
acting like a family. Lay down some ground rules with FMIL, like
she can only visit when she is invited, etc. Stand firm, and if
she cries and pouts, let her. DF needs to take a stand with mommy
and make it clear that you and the kids are his first priority.
And, speak up to this hag! Don't let her push you around in your
own home!
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