After 4 years of marriage, DH and
I got pregnant. As soon as I found out, I quit smoking and
did not allow anyone to smoke in my home. I would have quit
before I got pregnant, had I planned the pregnancy. LOL.
MIL is a chain smoker. While in premature labor and restricted
to bed rest, they came up to "help" me. My FIL
used to hand me his plate from his chair for me to wash after
every meal. I thought, "this was why THEY were there??".
BTW - I did not ASK them to come up. Anyway, my coworkers
threw me a baby shower while they were there. She refused
to go to it. I don't know why. Never mind that she
threw baby showers for the rest of her DILs. I went, and
they stayed at my house while I was gone. When I came home
from the shower, I walked into a smoke filled house. I didn't
say anything. Instead, I sat down on the couch and told
her about the shower that she didn't attend. She got up,
walked over to the door, opened it, stood inside and smoked -
RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME IN MY HOUSE! I told her that if she
was going to do that, she might as well come sit by me while she
was smoking. You know what she did? She shut the door,
took a drag and sat by me on the couch. LOL.
Signed - I Guess I
Asked For It, Huh?
0
1
0
Strongly Agree
Somewhat Agree
Somewhat Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Please Seek Counseling
Continue on Message
Board
Worst gift: My worst
gift was from stupid MIL. She got me a carton of cigarettes,
but I have never even smoked. I still don't.
Signed - I Have No Clue
Why???
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
Worst gift: My FIL and
his wife don't quite get it when it comes to gift giving.
A couple of presents from them really stand out. My husband
is 5'7" and weighs 150 lbs. I am 5'0" and weigh
about 80 lbs. One year, FIL, who is my husband's height, but
probably 20 lbs. heavier (by no means a large man), bought each
of us white t-shirts that were HUGE. I'm talking like 5XL.
He bought two of them, one for each of us. We literally both
got into one of them. Even with both of us inside one shirt,
the thing came to our knees! To make matters worse, they said,
in large red letters:
AWE SOME
Not "Awesome!" but rather
AWE SOME.
We perennially wonder exactly what it was that we were supposed
to awe.
Signed - Unawed
RESPONSE: Unawed
He's probably just a dork who thinks that gag gifts are hilarious.
So, what are you going to do with your singing bass when you get
it? Ha ha.
Worst gift: How about
NO gift from MIL/FIL for your wedding. NONE! My parents
helped us pay for the wedding, the wedding dinner and the reception.
They gave us $1000 in wedding gifts, too. One of my SILs gave
us a $50 gift certificate to a catalogue merchandise discount store
(which was thoughtful). But, DH has 4 brothers and 2 sisters,
all are married. Do you know what we got from them?
Nothing. We did not get a single gift OR CARD from any of
his other siblings or my MIL and FIL. They even had the nerve
to complain to me during the reception that they were not allowed
to smoke in the reception hall. Don't misunderstand, I was
not expecting my ILs to pay for my wedding, but a card would have
been nice. They didn't even bother throwing me a bridal shower.
And, when my mom invited them to the shower that my aunts threw
for me, nobody RSVP'd, and of course they didn't show up.
I now have two little girls. I never had a baby shower for
my first daughter, and never got a gift or a congratulations card,
even though DH called all of his family members from the hospital.
Then, when I was pregnant with my 2nd daughter, my niece IL, my
SIL, and a friend of the IL's family were all pregnant at the same
time, all with their first children. Guess how many baby showers
I was invited to. That's right, all three. At the second
shower, my MIL said, "Oh, by the way, at (SIL's) shower I will
have a gift for you." Can you guess what happened (probably
not) in between the second and third shower? I had a beautiful
baby girl. So, I went to the third shower and my MIL went
all out for her other DIL, easily spending $300 (a stroller, a swing,
loads of clothing, and a bedding set for the crib). Guess
what she got for my daughter? A BLUE sleeper with a bright
red train on it unwrapped in a discount department store bag with
the tags still attached. $2.94. I opened my bag and
left without saying a word to anyone. I cried all the way
home, and told my husband what happened. And he said, "Good
thing you have your mom, huh?" Anyway, I've bent your
ear enough. Thanks for letting me vent.
Signed - Giftless LOL
RESPONSE: Giftless LOL
I know what you mean. We didn't get a wedding gift from my MIL
either. I used to give gifts for different occasions to DH's family.
I learned my lesson, though. We get nothing, we also give nothing.
It's a two way street!
RESPONSE: Giftless LOL
Wow. What can these people be thinking to be so hurtful?! They
are just your ILs. It is much more concerning that DH seems to
sympathize, but in a very superficial way. Talk to him. Tell him
that you need him to acknowledge the hurt they have caused. Explain
to him that you need to feel that he is emotionally on your side,
and that his loyalty is with you and your children, who have also
been slighted by his family. Most men won't get it unless you spell
it out for them. So sorry for you that you have such disappointing
ILs. Mine are no better in their own way, and I do understand.
RESPONSE: Giftless LOL
Your wedding is supposed to be a happy day that you will always
remember, not that of your freeloading and complaining in-laws.
I would have been upset, too, just for the fact that they didn't
even offer to help. I mean, you did marry their son. Plus, she
didn't give you anything for your baby except that low priced sleeper,
but she spent tons on everyone else. Her baby is her grandchild!
She was in the wrong. It's as if she didn't care how you would
feel. You don't need to stress over someone like that. You have
your family and you are happy. Let her stay in her own selfish,
rude world.
RESPONSE: Giftless LOL
Wow. Our MILs must be twins. Just so you know, you're not alone.
My story is identical, except that my mother invited MIL and SIL
to a party to celebrate my baby's birth, and asked for a list of
people to invite. MIL called my mom and said, "Not only will
I not give you names of people to invite, I won't come either."
My mother still can't believe that she said that. MIL claims that
it's because people of her religion don't attend/give showers, because
it's bad luck or something (although I've been to many showers for
moms-to-be who are of that religion, but, whatever). But, I had
already had the baby (3 months prematurely), so it was really a
welcome-home-from-the-NICU party, not a shower. Same as you - no
gifts or cards from any member of DH's extended family, despite
sending out over 60 birth announcements to his side of the family.
We think that MIL must have told them not to send gifts or cards,
because why else would so many people be so rude? Since then, there
have been no holiday presents for the baby, either, and only a cheap
stuffed animal for her 1st birthday. She turns 2 in a few weeks,
and we've already decided that if there's no gift or card, there
also won't be any more contact for MIL with the baby, either. She
doesn't need grandparents who spent over $20,000 on their other
granddaughter this past summer, if they can't even send her a card
(but that's another story).
RESPONSE: Giftless LOL
The best thing you can do is to reciprocate to MIL and the other
ILs their lack of thought toward you. Don't let them get to you,
and don't give them your consideration. It's wasted energy. Concentrate
on making your marriage and your own family happy.
RESPONSE: Giftless LOL
It is not the responsibility of your in-laws to throw you showers
and give you a bunch of gifts. Yes, they should want to, but with
your attitude of "they never even threw me a shower",
why would they want to? Don't you have any friends to do this for
you? It sounds like you have unrealistic expectations of your husband's
family.
RESPONSE: Giftless LOL
They are petty, pathetic troglodytes, and they are totally beneath
you. Don't give them a second thought. Kill them with kindness.
It is obvious that they are just trying to hurt you. Do not let
them win.
Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
and responses received will be posted as early as our resources will
allow. Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then
posted, all at once, to the original story page at a later date (generally,
one set of responses will be posted per day).
DISCLAIMER: All advice on this website is for informational
and entertainment purposes only. All responses are from reader submissions
unless specifically noted otherwise (such as Dr. Terri Apter advice page).
We do not endorse any of the advice. We provide it to you as a service.
We can neither guarantee the soundness of the advice, nor make any claims
as to the outcome of following this advice. We provide it for your
entertainment only. Should you choose to follow any of the advice,
it is solely at your own risk. This is not intended to substitute
for obtaining advice from appropriate sources and/or professional counseling.
We recommend you consult an appropriate professional, counselor, and/or
a trusted advisor before taking any action based on this advice.
B A Squared, LLC and www.motherinlawstories.com make no representations or
guarantees regarding any information dispensed on this site.
Your privacy is important to us. Click here to view our
Privacy Policy.
