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Mother-In-Law Stories
September 23, 2003
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Worst gift:  One year, for Christmas, I got a leather skirt that was several sizes too small from my MIL.  It had a broken zipper.  I knew that she got it off of the clearance rack (damaged goods rack), so I called her on it and asked for the receipt so that I could get the right size.  She refused to give it to me.  She said, "Leather stretches.

        Signed - I Called Her On It

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MIL goes on at length about her family background.  They are all blond, most of them with blue eyes.  I'm an American mutt.  Most of my family has dark hair, but a few redheads show up here or there.  My sister has red hair and green eyes.  My hair is dark brown and I have brown eyes.  My son has red hair and brown eyes.  MIL insists that he looks just like her side.  Or, she says that he looks like her husband's family.  Apparently, my son looks like anyone BUT me.  They all have attached earlobes and I don't.  My son's earlobes are not attached, but MIL says that she doesn't know where he got those ears, and that they're not anything like mine.  The other day, a relative said that DS looks like me.  There was cold silence from MIL.  It seems like such a trivial thing, but this is part of my connection to my child.  I'm very angry that she is so possessive of my baby that she has to pretend that I'm not related to him!

        Signed - Invisible Mom

        Per the poster's request, no responses collected.

My MIL was generous enough to offer to give us $10K towards our wedding - great!  Prior to the wedding she insisted on having an "after wedding" party, so that people from out of town would have a place to go.  Note that very few guests were actually from out of town.  Also, she wanted the party at her house (why? so she could showoff to her divorced family and anyone else).  While I told her that I would prefer to not have such an affair, she went ahead anyway.  The catered dinner, open bar, rented tables, etc., was lavish, and about 35-40 people attended.  Afterwards, she told us that the party cost her $12K, so that was her contribution to our wedding.  Gee, thanks.  Just what I really didn't want.  Also, we are quite aware that the event cost nowhere near $12K.

        Signed - Who Does She Think She's Kidding?

RESPONSE:  Who Does She Think She's Kidding?
She sounds like my horrid MIL!  She organized the after-wedding party at her house.  And, following that, she made my parents pay half the costs, despite the fact that the overwhelming majority of guests were her friends, and my parents had no say at all in the organizing.

RESPONSE:  Who Does She Think She's Kidding?
I feel for you.  When DH and I got married, we went to a JOP.  Then, we decided (a couple of months later) that we would have a reception.  Keep in mind that DH had been married before, but I had not.  We asked them for help with the liquor, since my family didn't drink nearly as much as his family did, and because they are always throwing their money around for everyone else.  And, they agreed to do so.  They never offered to help get anything else ready, since my mother, father and aunt did all of the decorating themselves.  They didn't offer to help clean up anything afterwards, and then they all went out after our reception without saying anything to us.  They did not ask whether we wanted to go, nor did they offer to watch our kids so that we could enjoy.  Then, when we got home that night and had nothing else to do besides open up our gifts and cards, we found that they had bought us a 3 wick candle (on top of supplying the liquor, which I know could not have cost them more than $500).  I was so upset.  This happened several years ago, and things have never gotten better since.

My FMIL called me a few weeks ago and yelled, "WHO'S MATILDA?"  No hello, just, "WHO'S MATILDA?"  I said, "What?", not having a clue as to what she was talking about.  She replied, "MATILDA!"  So, I was thinking, "Isn't that a movie character???"  I said, "I don't know.  Who is Matilda?"  And she said, "You don't know who Matilda is?", like I'm the stupid one!  "NO!", I told her, "What are you talking about?"  "Well, DS said that you wanted to name your little girl MATILDA.  You don't remember the name you picked out?"  Again, like I'm the stupid one!  So, I said, "Madison!  I like the name Madison!"  She was silent for a moment, as though she was thinking about the name Madison, and finally realized that she had been saying the wrong name.  Then, she said, "Oh, Matilda!"  I said, "NO!  Madison."  And this time she replied, sounding very confused, as if she could not pronounce the name correctly, "Madeline?  Matilda?  Madison?"  I mean, even a toddler can repeat a name after you've hold it to him/her SEVERAL times!  But, not my FMIL!  And, she continued to say the name Matilda, over and over until we got off the phone, no matter how many times I said Madison.  I'm not sure why this surprised me.  She called me X (the wrong name) for the first 6 months that DF and I were together!  One weekend, she asked DF, "What are you and X doing tonight?"  He said, "X who?"  So, she thought that we had broken up!  No, you just can't say my name right!  So, come September she'll have a new DIL, X, and in March possibly a granddaughter, "Matilda".  She's just a ditz all around, which drives me insane!  Instead of saying something correctly, she'd just rather sound stupid and say it wrong, over and over and over.  We haven't told her about the baby yet.  I don't even want to think about a full 6 months of "Matilda!"

        Signed - Matilda's Mommy

RESPONSE:  Matilda's Mommy
MIL is a loon, but so far she sounds relatively harmless.

RESPONSE:  Matilda's Mommy
Tell her now.  Maybe by the time the baby is born, she'll finally have it right.  You don't want her calling the baby by the wrong name when she get old enough to know what her name is.

RESPONSE:  Matilda's Mommy
She is trying to get attention, and is stupid.  Show her the printed name, and say it as LOUD as your can.  Say it slowly, so the dumb cow will get it.  Then, if she insists on "Matilda", stay away from her.

RESPONSE:  Matilda's Mommy
She has memory problems, problems with pronunciation, and she sounds as if she is hard of hearing.  Is your FMIL an older woman?  This is very common behavior in older people.  I'm around quite a few women in their 80's who behave exactly as you described.  Although, when I was still teaching, I taught two male students in different classes who were early-mid twenties.  They behaved exactly the same way as you described FMIL.  Both men had been amateur boxers.  If she's not old, is it possible that she's suffered a head injury?  She sounds pretty confused.

RESPONSE:  Matilda's Mommy
Either your MIL is a true pain in the @ss and doing this on purpose, or she may have dementia or hearing problems.  I don't think that you would be out of line by suggesting to your DH or MIL herself that she needs to have her hearing and mental capabilities tested.  When something is said to MIL about this, if she suddenly hears better, then chances are very good that it's all an act designed to upset you.  If that is the case, then I think turnabout is fair play.  In front of MIL you can loudly and frequently make mention to others about MIL's senility, deafness, and how she's aging quickly and not in a good manner.


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