My MIL and I get along great.
We broke the tension by playing harmless (yet sometimes expensive)
pranks on each other. The first thing she did to me, before
I got married, was to borrow my most expensive pair of stilettos
heels and wear them at a family gathering (we both wear the same
size shoe). To my horror, she "accidentally" stepped
onto a piece of wood where epoxy had been mixed up earlier in the
day. She stepped out of my heels and ushered me into the kitchen.
She never said a word to me. By the time dinner was done,
the epoxy had set up fast. She then presented me the stuck
heels and said, "Since you're marrying my son, I guess we're
stuck together." She was trying to be funny. Thus
started the "shoe war". I then drilled holes in
the bottoms of her favorite pair of stilettos and laughed when her
feet were soaked in the rain. LOL. She laughed also.
We pranked each other's shoes so much that we ran out of pairs to
kill. So, she started putting itching powder in all of my
clothes, and I put bleach on all of her colors. Etc., etc.
Finally, the wedding day had come. No pranks, except we both
ordered size 7 shoes for each other for the wedding. Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!
We went on our honeymoon, and I had a message from her at the hotel.
She said that she was glad that I'd been a good sport and all.
Then she stated that it's always been a tradition in her family
to prank the bride's car while she is on the honeymoon. She
said that my car is safe from being stolen, since it has four flat
tires. She also asked if the slashes on the sidewalls were
repairable. My heart sank. However, I guess that I deserved
it since I egged her car at the bachelorette party.
Signed - Pranks A Lot
0
1
0
2
0
Strongly Agree
Somewhat Agree
Somewhat Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Please Seek Counseling
Continue on Message
Board
The day after the birth
of my baby son, my MIL brought in my husband's baby photos (which
she had never shown me before) and went on and on about how much the
baby looks like his dad. She said that she couldn't see any
similarities to me, except "maybe his fingernails".
She also took loads of photos of different people holding my new baby
son, everyone except me. What a lovely person she is!!!
Signed - What Lovely Fingernails!
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
My MIL was able to choose
24 out of 250 photos for her small album of our wedding. Of
the 24, there is ONE picture of me in it, and I'm looking away from
the camera. All the other pictures are of my husband alone,
or her and my husband. Looking through her album, you would
think that it was their wedding! Now THAT is freaky.
Signed - Is She Wishing
For More Than A Son??
RESPONSE: Is She Wishing For More Than A Son??
I don't know how long you have been married, but you need to reign
this loony-toon in, pronto. Your children will be HER children, your
home will be HER home, etc., etc. This is an early sign of a life
of misery from this woman. ACT NOW before she gets too difficult.
Good luck.
Although my MIL is truly
something else (in a recent disagreement over scheduling dinner, she
told my DH that he should agree to when she wanted it, because she
loved him and I didn't), the biggest problem right now is my SIL and
BIL. They are two of the most self-centered, egotistical people
whom I have ever met. They assume that everyone should do what
they want them to do, when and how they want it. For example,
I can't recall a time they asked our availability when making plans.
They simply call and tell us when and where they want to have dinner,
etc. Even when coming to our home, say for holiday dinner, they
will call and tell us what time they want us to serve the meal.
They are constantly significantly late, not 5 or 10 minutes, but 30
minutes to an hour or more. And, they never apologize.
They also frequently cancel plans at the last minute. We have
an annual beach vacation where my FIL and step-MIL rent a house for
a week during the summer. The first year, BIL and SIL made everyone
change the week that had been chosen (with their previous agreement)
because of something else that they wanted to do. Then, two
days before the vacation, step-MIL called everyone to tell them when
and how to get into the house, and BIL told her that they were only
coming for the last weekend. Both BIL and SIL acted like it
was nothing, even though FIL could have rented a smaller house and
everyone would not have had to rearrange their schedules. The
pitiful thing is that the whole family, including DH, lets them get
away with this behavior. They make excuses - BIL and SIL have
important jobs and are busy (they are sales reps, work from home,
and make their own schedules), etc., etc. I have put up with
BIL for 6 years, and with both of them since they married 2 years
ago, but this past August I reached my limit. I had been really
looking forward to a relaxing week, because my job had been extremely
stressful. In fact, I hated the new management and was looking
for something else, but hadn't found anything. I had been traveling
a lot, etc. We got there, and, of course, we were waiting for
BIL and SIL to show up that so everyone could go to dinner.
FIL called to find out where they were, and was told that they were
15 minutes away. They finally showed up almost 2 hours later.
This didn't help my stress or my feelings toward BIL and SIL, as I
was already ticked off, because they had completely blown off my birthday
2 months before. We finally got to dinner, and within 5 minutes
they announced that they were pregnant. I have always wanted
to have children, but I am unable to have any. This is a really
sensitive subject for me, so hearing this out of the blue (BIL and
SIL had told us less than 4 months before that they had no intentions
of having children any time soon), was really upsetting. All
I wanted to do was crawl into a hole and cry, but I had to sit through
dinner, listening to everyone go on and on about baby this, baby that.
I was happy for them, but I just wished that they had chosen a different
time and place to spring it on me. She wasn't even 4 weeks pregnant
at the time, so I don't see why waiting one week would have made a
difference or why they couldn't let my DH and me know ahead of time
so that we could have been prepared. With all the other stress
that I was under, I couldn't face a whole week of nothing but baby,
and I wanted to go home. I was told that everyone wanted me
to stay, and wouldn't talk about babies in front of me. That
only lasted until the next morning. SIL was obviously mad that
I wasn't ecstatic and appeared to make a special effort to talk about
baby names, pregnancy, etc., in front of me. I started avoiding
her, and by the end of the week she was doing the same. On the
last day, DH's stepsister got us to agree to all sit down and talk.
We were supposed to meet for breakfast, but we had to wait while SIL
checked her voicemail and made business calls. We finally met
at 2 pm!!! We told her that we were hurt that they hadn't been
more considerate of our feelings (as it was a pattern with them),
but we wanted to work out our differences and have a family relationship
with them. She said that the only reason she was even speaking
to me was because I needed to apologize and make her feel better,
or I would cause her to have a miscarriage. Since then we have
sent her congratulations cards, a very nice gift, and invited them
numerous times to our home to see our new puppy. She has refused
every invitation, first saying that they were too busy planting flowers,
visiting friends, etc. Finally, in February she agreed to come,
but at the last minute she sent her DH to say that she wouldn't come
because seeing me would be so stressful that it would cause her to
miscarry. We were told that my DH was welcome to visit her,
but I was banned from her presence until after the baby was born!!!
In March, when the baby was born, she told my DH that I was allowed
to come to her house now. We have told SIL that she needs to
apologize to me for how she has treated me, just as she expected me
to apologize on vacation. She has refused, saying that she didn't
do anything to me, she was just "protecting" her baby.
I am not sure how purposely ignoring my birthday again this year,
while giving my DH a very nice gift for his, is not directed at me
and/or is about protecting the baby. And even after this, the
family still sides with her. They have told me that it is all
my fault - that I should have never been upset on vacation because
I should be "over" not being able to have children by now.
And, because that was my fault, she's "right" in everything
that she has done since then.
Signed - A Danger to Babies
RESPONSE: A Danger to Babies
You're both rude and petty. Grow up.
RESPONSE: A Danger to Babies
Are you ignorant, or what? You have totally done nothing wrong.
I wouldn't have anything to do with her ever again. Cut off all connections.
You are just a rug to her. Stop letting yourself get walked on.
RESPONSE: A Danger to Babies
Counseling would help you better deal with situations where you need
to deal with over-exuberant expectant parents. The only way to deal
with the deliberate cruelty that BIL and SIL practice is to avoid
it entirely. To prevent accusations that you are taking it out on
the child, I'd suggest acknowledging the child's birthday while ignoring
those of its parents.
RESPONSE: A Danger to Babies
I agree with the family on this one. Why does everyone have to tiptoe
around you because you are sensitive about not having kids? I think
it is pretty selfish of you to expect a newly pregnant mother not
to discuss her happiness with her family on vacation. Talk about
self-centered! I would not apologize to you either, and I would definitely
avoid contact with you. I think that you may need some counseling.
I agree that not being able to have children is very hard, but you
do need to deal with it. Getting people not to discuss it is not
the answer.
RESPONSE: A Danger to Babies
Please, please, please cut this woman out of your life! She is a
nut, and you deserve better treatment than this. I can't believe
that you've put up with it for this long.
RESPONSE: A Danger to Babies
While I deeply sympathize with how you feel about not being able to
have children, and while I think that your BIL and SIL seem to be
very inconsiderate about showing up on time, I'm having a hard time
understanding why they needed to negotiate with you the date, time,
and location to announce that they are pregnant. If you are so distraught
over not being able to have children that you can't be in the same
room with someone who is pregnant, I would strongly suggest that you
seek professional counseling. This situation is NOT just about your
BIL and SIL, you've done a lot to make it this way.
RESPONSE: A Danger to Babies
Get a life. Don't put yourself down to this woman, who seems very
selfish, egocentric and really mean. Why on earth should you crawl
for her? Let her live her life, and go on with yours.
RESPONSE: A Danger to Babies
What complete nonsense. If the stress of seeing you would cause her
to miscarry, then I'd tell her and them that you can't be bothered
now. The poor child, with ignorant, selfish, cruel parents and grandparents.
You would be best off to severely limit contact with them and take
your own much more relaxing vacation with DH. DH needs to support
you. Assuming that DH does support you, and things are going well,
have you thought seriously about adopting? I know many, many people
who are themselves adopted, and others who have adopted children with
very satisfying results. Good luck.
RESPONSE: A Danger to Babies
I am very sorry that you cannot have children. I get rather sensitive
about people talking about babies in front to me, too, because I suspect
that I might be infertile. I don't think that you acted irrationally
at all. You have every right to be hurt and upset by people throwing
baby stuff up in your face. They can be happy about her baby without
being so insensitive to you. Does DH stick up for you? He needs
to. Your not being able to have children affects him too, so in theory
they are insulting both of you. Have you looked into adoption? If
you live in America, it is hard to adopt children. You wait for years.
However, you can adopt a child from a foreign country almost right
away.
RESPONSE: A Danger to Babies
It sounds as though BIL and SIL, while extremely busy and caught up
in their own little world, are jealous of you and DH. As for the
sight of you being traumatic enough to cause her to miscarry, that
is the biggest line of bullturkey that I've ever heard! Please, stop
trying to cultivate a relationship with this evil person, and just
pray that the child they raise will turn out to be a little angel.
I know the pain you are going through with regards to your own fertility.
SIL is just going to keep rubbing this fact in your face, and you
need to realize that. Do this for your own good. Avoid BIL and SIL
at all costs. Stop rearranging your schedules around them, as it
just strokes their egos. If you are waiting dinner on them, tell
everyone that you have a slight blood sugar problem, and must eat
on a very regular basis. Celebrate the holidays without them. Take
a vacation without them. Get a life and live it without them. Do
not forget, you are just as good and important as they are. And,
one last thing: If you feel depressed and angry whenever someone
announces a pregnancy, please seek counseling. It will help. Good
luck, and peace.
RESPONSE: A Danger to Babies
You cannot expect to have the whole world foam padded for you because
you cannot have children. Although SIL was insensitive and rude,
you need to get over it. As far as how SHE treated you, why your
DH didn't put the halt on seeing her when you were not welcome baffles
me.
Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories and
responses received will be posted as early as our resources will allow.
Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then posted, all at
once, to the original story page at a later date (generally, one set of
responses will be posted per day).
DISCLAIMER: All advice on this website is for informational
and entertainment purposes only. All responses are from reader submissions
unless specifically noted otherwise (such as Dr. Terri Apter advice page).
We do not endorse any of the advice. We provide it to you as a service.
We can neither guarantee the soundness of the advice, nor make any claims
as to the outcome of following this advice. We provide it for your
entertainment only. Should you choose to follow any of the advice,
it is solely at your own risk. This is not intended to substitute
for obtaining advice from appropriate sources and/or professional counseling.
We recommend you consult an appropriate professional, counselor, and/or
a trusted advisor before taking any action based on this advice.
B A Squared, LLC and www.motherinlawstories.com make no representations or
guarantees regarding any information dispensed on this site.
Your privacy is important to us. Click here to view our
Privacy Policy.
