Frequent
Fry Her TM
- cradle snatcher, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 29-SEP-03
I didn't used to think that my MIL was a bad person,
per se, just controlling and pushy. Over the years I've come
to change my mind. Three years ago I got pregnant with #2.
My DH informed MIL, and she asked if *he* was ok with that?
Umm, we had been married for going on 5 years. We had one
child, so why wouldn't he be? I miscarried at 12 weeks, and
naturally DH and I were devastated. DH rang and told FIL that
we'd lost the baby. MIL wasn't home at the time. A few
days later my ex SIL (from out of town) rang. She told me
that MIL had told her that I'd lost the baby, that my DS was distraught,
and that I'd lost the baby because of the stress of my job and from
looking after my friend's children when their house burned down!
I was livid. I'd finally managed to get to the point where
I didn't blame myself, and this is what she is telling people!
I told my DH that I was upset. He rang her and asked if that
was what she was telling people. She admitted it and said
that she thought that was why it had happened. DH told her
it wasn't, and that DS was, at no time, distraught. She apologized
to him. She's never apologized to me.
Signed - I Took Her Baby
From Her
0
1
0
Strongly Agree
Somewhat Agree
Somewhat Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Please Seek Counseling
Continue on Message
Board
My daughter was born with
cerebral palsy. When she was in the Neo Natal Intensive Care
Unit and when we first brought her home, my MIL was so loving and
caring toward her. She came by to see her, called to ask how
she was doing, and visited her when she was in the hospital several
times for respiratory problems. But, over the years (my daughter
is now 12 years old), my MIL slowly stopped coming by to see my daughter
and stopped calling to see how she was doing. Things are so
bad now that there have been several instances when we have visited
my in-laws that my MIL hasn't even acknowledged my daughter's presence
the ENTIRE time that we were visiting. My MIL rarely calls us
at all, but on the rare occasions that she does, she doesn't even
ask how my daughter is. Last Christmas Eve, when we came in
to the in-laws' house, my MIL was upstairs wrapping gifts. She
didn't even acknowledge that we were there. But, when her other
granddaughter, who is 16 (and only comes to visit my in-laws when
she's going to get money or a gift), came in, my MIL ran downstairs
to hug and kiss her. I was seething, to say the least.
But, that wasn't the worst of the evening. One of my three BILs
has a girlfriend who has two children, a boy, 7 and a girl, 2.
Well, when my BIL brought the little girl in, my MIL went berserk
over this kid, who isn't even her own granddaughter!! She had
even bought gifts for these two kids. We brought my daughter
into the living room to open gifts, and she was sitting on the couch
closest to my MIL. My MIL didn't even look at my daughter, much
less say anything to her. My MIL's attention was focused solely
on my 16 year old niece and the girlfriend's daughter. When
my husband and I left that night, I swore that I would never go back
to my in-laws' house ever again. But, the episode that really
sent me over the edge happened last June, when my daughter had to
have surgery to put tubes in her ears. I called my MIL two days
before the surgery to remind her, and she told me that she had forgotten
all about it. Well, the day of the surgery came and went with
no call from my MIL to even ask how the surgery had gone, and to see
if my daughter was doing okay. Another of my BILs was planning
to get married the following weekend, so my husband asked me to call
my MIL to see if the wedding was still going to take place (that was
another fiasco, too long to go into), so I did. Well, my MIL
didn't ask anything about my daughter or the surgery, but she did
say that she had called my BIL's fiancé about the wedding cake
that she was going to make for them. SHE REMEMBERED TO CALL
ABOUT A !*&%$# WEDDING CAKE, BUT COULDN'T CALL TO FIND OUT ABOUT
HER OWN GRANDDAUGHTER'S SURGERY!!!! That was the straw that
broke the camel's back. I've been the good, caring DIL for 22
years now. My husband is the oldest of four sons - he's the
good kid - the one who never has caused his parents any problems at
all. But, it's always been the other three, who have all been
in trouble, that my in-laws favor and talk about (my MIL, in particular).
Two of my BILs were previously married to two of the most horrible
women whom I've had the misfortune of meeting (one of them is my 16
year old niece's mother). And, yet, when these two "people"
were around, she treated me like I didn't even exist. For three
years in a row my MIL made a point of letting me know what birthday
gifts she had bought for the other two DILs, who treated her like
she was beneath them. But, she forgot mine all together, she
did not even send me a card. Now, both of these BILs are remarried.
And, according to my MIL, the two new DILs are the best things since
sliced bread. I have done everything I possibly can to be nice
to my in-laws. I've kept my mouth shut and "just taken"
it for 22 years, but I'm fed up. I refuse to allow them to treat
my daughter like she's invisible and doesn't exist! I have not
stepped foot in my in-laws' house in almost 10 months, and I do not
call them anymore. Every year I used to take hours picking out
the perfect gifts for birthdays, Mother's and Father's Day, and Christmas
for my in-laws (of course, the gifts they liked the most were from
the other kids, and you could tell that they didn't put 10 minutes
worth of time into picking them out). This year, I didn't even
bother sending them cards, much less gifts. They will be having
Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas Eve at their house, and I have no
intention of going. I've already told my husband this, and he
said that he didn't think he was going either (he knows how his mother
favors his brothers, and their wives and kids over us), but I told
him that was solely up to him. I told him that if he wanted
to go and see them, that was fine by me, but I was no longer going
to subject our daughter and myself to my MIL's blatant favoritism.
I don't care anymore if I seem to be petty. I've had enough
of my MIL's nonsense and I'm not going to take it anymore!
Signed - Not Going to Take
It Anymore!
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
Worst gift: I don't
have a MIL story. Luckily my MIL is great. This one's
about a gift given to my DH by his own aunt. First of all, she
is fairly wealthy and had come to visit during the Christmas in question.
She had bought everybody else in the family nice gifts like designer
watches, diamond earrings and other things like that. My poor
husband got socks - three pairs of athletic socks. And after
he wore them once, one pair had a hole in it. As for me, I got
nada.
Signed - Nothing IS Better
Than Socks
RESPONSE: Nothing IS Better Than Socks
Do they really think that they can take it with them? You have to
wonder.
Worst gift: My BIL never
really liked my DH (that's his big-brother). My DH, on the other
hand, really wants a relationship with his DB. One Christmas,
DH got a gift from his dB I swear, I have never seen him so
happy. He opened it, and it was a leather shaving bag.
When he unzipped the bag, he found a little tag that said "your
complimentary gift" for purchasing some luggage. Apparently,
his dB never looked inside the complimentary gift before "regifting"
it. Meanwhile, my BIL gave his own BIL (his wife's brother)
season tickets to MY DH's favorite team. DH didn't say much,
but I know it broke his heart. On the brighter side, the luggage
that BIL bought must've been expensive, and the shaving bag was nice.
BIL has a TON of money.
Signed - Complimentary
Gift
RESPONSE: Complimentary Gift
You need to gently tell your DH to stop seeking a relationship with
his brother. It is obvious that brother has no interest in this at
all. Perhaps he thinks that DH and you want to mooch off of him.
I didn't get that impression from reading your post, but it still
came out in the way everyone else got the good goodies. I've been
treated like that all my married life by the evil MIL. Just let it
go. There is no point in worrying about it. However, this Christmas,
I would take the shaving kit. If the personal items have been used,
replace them, and re-gift the damn thing. You could consider including
a brief note stating that this gift sums up the relationship between
the two brothers. Then, let everyone know that you love your DH enough
to give him something fantastic. It doesn't have to be season tickets
to his favorite team, but a very nice chain, new home sound system,
etc. If money is a problem, put it on layaway. No one needs to know
how you pay for something.
Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories and
responses received will be posted as early as our resources will allow.
Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then posted, all at
once, to the original story page at a later date (generally, one set of
responses will be posted per day).
DISCLAIMER: All advice on this website is for informational
and entertainment purposes only. All responses are from reader submissions
unless specifically noted otherwise (such as Dr. Terri Apter advice page).
We do not endorse any of the advice. We provide it to you as a service.
We can neither guarantee the soundness of the advice, nor make any claims
as to the outcome of following this advice. We provide it for your
entertainment only. Should you choose to follow any of the advice,
it is solely at your own risk. This is not intended to substitute
for obtaining advice from appropriate sources and/or professional counseling.
We recommend you consult an appropriate professional, counselor, and/or
a trusted advisor before taking any action based on this advice.
B A Squared, LLC and www.motherinlawstories.com make no representations or
guarantees regarding any information dispensed on this site.
Your privacy is important to us. Click here to view our
Privacy Policy.
