Worst gift: Wow, I have
a worst gift story. I recently had a baby. About a month
before I delivered, I received a box in the mail with some rather
large clothing. They were not maternity outfits, but she had
made it clear that she thought the idea of maternity clothing was
a gimmick. The clothing was a little big then, but I figured
that by the time I delivered, it'd probably fit about right.
There were 4 pairs of pants, all 3x, and 3 shirts, sized 26/28.
Initially, I thought that this was very sweet, as we hadn't always
been on the best of terms! I called her to thank her for the
present, and she said, "Oh you're welcome! I figured
that maybe a couple of months after the baby is born, you'll be
able to wear em!" She knows from asking my husband at
the holidays what size I wore before, and I didn't gain much.
And here is another one: His birthday is at the end of July.
She gave him a pair of those "magic" gloves. The
ones that stretch when you put them on? She then told us that
she found them at a flea market. I know that this isn't as
bad as some of the others, just something that hurt.
Signed - I Guess I Was
Expected To Gain Weight After Delivery
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- foreigntemptress/Posted: 04-OCT-03
MIL refused to come to our wedding. She cried
and messed DF about, and she behaved like a kid. Well, we had
the wedding, and there she was in the hall, crying like a baby.
It was not happy crying, either. No, she was mourning the idea
that her son was marrying me. After the ceremony, she sat in
the sanctuary and waited for us to come apologize. Sadly, she
didn't tell anyone that she was waiting for us. We were hosting
a wedding reception, so it didn't occur to us to check the sanctuary
for lost guests. So, we didn't find her. After a bit,
she ran out crying and refused to be comforted. She refused
to speak to anyone. A lot of people were . . .
Be forewarned, this is
mean and you will all probably think that I am a horrible person after
reading this. My MIL is VERY overweight, not that there is anything
wrong with being overweight. I have had a very bad relationship
with MIL, and she has done some unforgivable and just plain evil things
to me. So, the following event gave me extreme pleasure.
We had been home from the hospital with our new DS for a few days,
and decided to invite all of the family over to meet the little guy.
MIL, of course, was the first to hold him. She sat in an antique
rocking chair in the corner and rocked DS in grandmother bliss for
almost an hour. She decided that it was someone else's turn
to hold DS, and began to stand up. I notice that she kind of
jerked and sat back down. Then she hollered for FIL to take
the baby. He did and she braced herself on the arms of the chair
and began to try and stand up. Again, after a jerk, she sat
back down. One more try. She stood up and the rocker was
still stuck to her rear end. At this point, we all realized
what was going on. FIL put DS down and ran to MIL. He
started pulling on the rocker from behind MIL. The rocker was
still stuck, so DH held MIL's shoulders while FIL was still trying
to pry the rocker off of her. STILL STUCK!!! It took two
men to pull on the chair and two men to hold MIL's shoulders to get
that chair off of her butt. Now, I'm sure that you all know
that it can be VERY difficult to hold back laughter. And, needless
to say, it is hard when it is something obviously so embarrassing
to MIL. I had to leave the room, because I just couldn't hold
it back. Every time I thought that I had composed myself enough
to come out, the image of that chair stuck to her butt popped back
into my head and I had to leave the room. At least I hid my
laughter. MIL would have been boisterous in her laughter if
it had been me in her position.
Signed - Excuse Me Ma'am,
You Have A Rocker Stuck To Your Butt
RESPONSE: Excuse Me Ma'am, You Have A Rocker Stuck To
Your Butt
I am fat and I think that it is funny.
RESPONSE: Excuse Me Ma'am, You Have A Rocker Stuck To
Your Butt
Evil MIL or not, that's hilarious!!!!
RESPONSE: Excuse Me Ma'am, You Have A Rocker Stuck To
Your Butt
That is the funniest thing that I have read in a long time.
RESPONSE: Excuse Me Ma'am, You Have A Rocker Stuck To
Your Butt
Sssssssssssssssssoooooooooooooooooo funny.
RESPONSE: Excuse Me Ma'am, You Have A Rocker Stuck To
Your Butt
LOL!!
RESPONSE: Excuse Me Ma'am, You Have A Rocker Stuck To
Your Butt
Great story!!!!
RESPONSE: Excuse Me Ma'am, You Have A Rocker Stuck To
Your Butt
Don't call it laughing at someone else's embarrassment. Call it accepting
karma.
RESPONSE: Excuse Me Ma'am, You Have A Rocker Stuck To
Your Butt
ROTFLMAO! At LEAST you left the room to laugh! My DH knows that
I'm the laugh out loud kind with no mercy!
RESPONSE: Excuse Me Ma'am, You Have A Rocker Stuck To
Your Butt
Enjoy the laugh, and store it in the back of your head so that every
time she gets on your nerves, you pull it up and laugh inside.
RESPONSE: Excuse Me Ma'am, You Have A Rocker Stuck To
Your Butt
Oh my gosh. That's so funny. My MIL is also obese and she actually
broke my glider after sitting in it to rock my DD. We loaned her
a recliner when she was recovering from a surgery on her neck, and
she broke that, too.
RESPONSE: Excuse Me Ma'am, You Have A Rocker Stuck To
Your Butt
Your story just has me rolling with laughter. I had to tell you thanks
for sharing that one. I am not sure that I would have made it out
of the room. What happened after she got out of the chair? I'm just
wondering what she had to say?? How did you finally make it back
in the room with her without laughing when you saw her?
Let me start by saying that
what I am about to tell is something that has been bothering me for
years, and has plagued my life with misery and ill thoughts for some
time. I feel that, somehow, I am the bad person in all this,
and I just need to know that I am not the evil party. My MIL
and I seemed to get along well enough for the sake of getting along.
Her personality is not one that I would be attracted to if I had met
her on the street. For many years, I quietly dealt with her
cruel behavior. Now, we are at a point where I don't want to
see or speak to her again. Three years ago, my husband and I
got married in the Caribbean with a few family and friends in attendance.
It was a beautiful occasion, and a wonderful experience. The
MIL was unable to attend. My husband and I had already been
together for seven years, and we owned the home that we shared for
four years. Since our wedding was somewhat of a quiet affair,
we planned a reception for our family and friends to help us celebrate
our marriage at our home a few months later. We were very eager
to start our own little family soon after the wedding. But,
we unfortunately suffered a miscarriage with our first baby.
This was the most tragic event that happened to us as a couple, and
I am still saddened by it. But, I know now that in some way
it was meant to be. Although, at the time I thought that it
had been something that I had done, and I was feeling guilty for having
lost our baby. Our loss occurred only two weeks prior to the
scheduled wedding reception, and only close family and friends knew
of our sorrow. I would have liked to have canceled the party,
because I was in no mood to share happiness when all I was feeling
was sadness, but the party went on as planned. The day went
on pleasingly well, from my point of view, even though there was the
threat that at any time I could have suffered massive bleeding.
I had scheduled a D&C operation to take place two days later.
It was during our gift opening that I received the biggest emotional
upset of my life. As a gift to the happy couple, my MIL gave
us two books, one entitled, "The Hazards Of Having Sex",
and the other was a "how to" book about making babies.
I cannot explain the horror that I was feeling at the time of receiving
this thoughtless gift. Later in the day, I was approached by
a close friend who was aware of the miscarriage. She was just
as shocked to have witnessed the thoughtless gift that my MIL bestowed
upon us. Now I knew that it wasn't just me who felt my pain.
For two years, I kept this inside, only discussing it with my husband
and my mom. Even when my husband and I shared the beautiful
experience of having given birth to our first born, I again became
a target for hurtful motives by my MIL. As I lay in the hospital
bed holding our son, MIL mother went on to state her shock that we
had given birth to a boy, when she explained that we were destined
to have a girl first because it ran in her family, knowing all too
well that her son had a daughter from a previous relationship.
Last summer, when our son was approaching his first birthday, I finally
expressed to my MIL that I had had enough, and that I was tired of
being hurt by her selfish motives. I was planning a 1st birthday
party for my son, when she tried to disrupt my plans by scheduling
a family ordeal on the same day. It was then that my husband
said that he no longer wanted to be in between, so I needed to discuss
my anguish with her. I was too upset, at the time, for a confrontation,
so I put my feelings down via email. In her response to my letter,
she tried to excuse herself from all wrong doing. She explained
that she would have to watch what she says from now on when she is
around me, because what she finds humorous is not likely going to
amuse me. I don't want her to go through all that trouble, so
I want to see her as little as possible. She and her son have
not had a close relationship since the divorce of his parents (due
her leaving for another man), since he chose to live with his father
and sister. Our only involvement with her over the years has
been during special occasions, such as birthdays and Christmas.
My husband has come to respect my feelings about her, and we try to
distance ourselves from her. She still tries to be controlling
and play mind games with her son. And, she believes that all
should be forgiven and forgotten. But, I cannot bring myself
to do so. The pain is still real, and I don't want my children
to be subjected to such a cruel and selfish person. She has
made threats before about grandparents rights when my husband expressed
concerns about his first child. I think that she might threaten
it again with our children. My husband and I share a wonderful
family. We have a new daughter, a baby sister for our son.
I love my husband dearly, but I sometimes feel anger towards him when
his mother starts interfering in our lives. How can he tell
her to back off so that we can live the lives as we wish for ourselves.
She is now trying to get to me through my children, saying that I'm
depriving them of a grandparent. I think that she brought this
upon herself and is now realizing the consequences. What she
has done, I feel, is inexcusable. I just want to get on with
my life and stop feeling like a bad person for not resolving this
by making amends.
Signed - Unable To Forgive
and Forget
RESPONSE: Unable To Forgive and Forget
I am so sorry for your loss. It must have been terrible to go through
all of that. I want you to know that your story really touched me.
You are a person with feelings and a heart, something that your MIL
is not. You have done nothing wrong. It's good that your DH sees
the situation clearly now. Keep doing what you are doing. Congrats
on your little boy and girl. Count yourself lucky to have two beautiful
children and a supportive DH. Forget about your MIL (easier said
than done). It looks like you are the winner here.
RESPONSE: Unable To Forgive and Forget
Don't let this idiot bother you. You are doing the right thing.
We are going through the same bull that you went through, but worse,
much worse! Anyway, she has NO RIGHTS! No grandmother rights. I've
talked to attorneys, and the only way that these idiots have rights
is when there is a divorce and they attach themselves to the divorce/custody
battle. As long as you are married, she's SOL. Just for the threats,
she'd NEVER SEE MY CHILDREN AGAIN if I had anything to do with it.
People like that will harm your child, thinking, "If I can't
have the kid, you can't either." Look at the news. You see
it all the time. And, DH needs to get balls! Saying that he doesn't
want to get in between is bull. He's a chicken when it comes to his
mommy, and he needs to grow up! You and DH brought that baby into
the world, and no one has any business threatening you.
RESPONSE: Unable To Forgive and Forget
You are not depriving your children of a grandparent, you are depriving
them of a vicious, toxic, poor excuse for a human being. Giving you
those books after your sad miscarriage was unforgivable. Repeat after
me, UNFORGIVABLE. I would have taken no more after that point. That
was an evil, deliberate act on her part to hurt you. Take no more,
and feel no more guilt.
RESPONSE: Unable To Forgive and Forget
First of all, your DH is the main problem here. He is being such
a wuss by not "wanting to be in the middle". Sorry, but
when he married you, he was to have allegiance to YOU, first of all.
YOU are to be the top priority. Have nothing to do with her. Cut
her off.
RESPONSE: Unable To Forgive and Forget
DH doesn't want to be in the middle? Make him choose a side. His
choice will tell you how to proceed.
RESPONSE: Unable To Forgive and Forget
That whole "grandparent rights" thing is a load of bull.
The court cannot force you to allow someone (even family members)
to see your children if you do not want them to (with the exception
of the child's mother/father). Grandparents might THINK that they
have some special rights under the law, but they don't - not at all,
unless there is some extenuating circumstances (such as if DH died
and his parents wanted to see the child, then they MIGHT have some
limited rights, but that is it). If she ever makes that threat to
you, tell her that you know your rights. Tell her to bring it on,
because she will be sorely disappointed.
RESPONSE: Unable To Forgive and Forget
You are absolutely right in not wanting this toxic person around your
family. The threat of GPs' rights would have been the final straw
for me. I think that your DH needs to realize that there is nothing
to gain from having contact with this person. He should be on your
side, and you need to make him see that. Good luck!
RESPONSE: Unable To Forgive and Forget
Unfortunately it sounds like you are going to have to be the one who
tells MIL to back off. And, as for grandparents' rights, you've probably
seen many women write in about grandparents' rights and how they aren't
worth worrying about. Find out what her rights would be first, before
you start worrying too much. And, then, once you know what could
happen, you can let her know just what her rights are next time she
threatens you. As for depriving your children of a grandparent, ask
yourself what a grandparent is supposed to mean. My DD does not know
her grandparents on her father's side, because they are horrible people,
and I don't care what "position" they have. You must earn
respect, it is not given because of someone's family title. And,
I can also speak from the side of the grandchild dealing with grandparents
who were extremely selfish. And, believe me, it's not worth it.
My GPs did not contribute in one good way in my life, but I can think
of many negative things that they have contributed, because my mother
had the mistaken belief that my brother and I should know these people
because they were my grandparents. Do what is right for your family.
It sounds like you have a loving, caring home. Don't let MIL intrude
and upset that. It's not worth it.
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