Worst gift: Every Christmas
my husband has a large gathering at his granny's, and we are expected
to buy presents for uncles, aunts and cousins, MIL, DH's sisters,
brothers and their children. I have fussed about this, because
NONE of them can afford it, and I usually get something from the
dollar store (which I DON'T COMPLAIN about, because my husband is
very generous to me, but it's aggravating, because I don't like
the idea of not trying to buy something that someone can use or
really would like). Anyway, I can deal with the cr@ppy $1
presents, but DH's granny forgot me. I assume that she forgot
me, because I got a salt and pepper shaker that was oil stained
and dirty looking, and half of the side was melted, as if it had
been sitting by a pot on the stove. I don't mean to sound
petty, but nothing at all would have been much better.
Signed - No More Presents
For The Adults
0
5
Strongly Agree
Somewhat Agree
Somewhat Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Please Seek Counseling
Continue on Message
Board
Over a year ago, someone
whom I knew spread a lie that I had cheated on my DH. This was
not true at all. MIL got wind of this story and stopped speaking
to me! My DH never believed it, and we have a great relationship.
She is more hassle than she's worth. One year later, she and
I still haven't spoken a word to each other. I feel like the
luckiest woman in the world!!!!!
Signed - Music 2 My Ears
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
Worst gift: This isn't
a bad gift, per se. Perhaps I am just very ungrateful.
Every holiday we go through the whole catalog thing. MIL presents
us with the catalogs of HER choice, and asks us to pick what we want
from that catalog (she has credit card accounts with these catalogs,
and that's the reason we have to choose from them). I am very
small, yet MIL always gives me catalogs for plus sized clothing.
So, I give her some other ideas, and tell her the type of clothing
that I like (brand names don't even matter to me). Now, I am
a SAHM of 3, and I am all about comfort and low maintenance.
I specifically ask for jeans and sweaters, easy to wear, easy to wash,
etc. I don't care what color they are, or where she buys them,
as long as they are in my size. She always ends up getting me
dressy, older woman type clothing. She told DH that I have absolutely
NO class because all I wear are blue jeans and sweaters (and the occasional
khaki pants). DH tells her that all I do is housework, grocery
shopping, caring for kids and PTA stuff ( taking care of dogs, going
to baseball games, etc., etc.), and I need clothing that is appropriate
for that. It's not like we even get out much with three kids.
And, if we are so lucky, we surely can't afford to go anywhere nice
enough to wear something that dressy. Well, according to MIL,
"classy" women dress up whenever they are in public, even
if it is just to the grocery store. It's not so much her getting
me something other than what I wanted, it's how she does it.
She thinks that I have no class, and takes it upon herself to change
me into what she feels is classy. URRRGH!!!
Signed - Lacking Class
RESPONSE: Lacking Class
Just tell her that you don't want anything for Christmas. That'll
solve that.
RESPONSE: Lacking Class
Suggestion for next gift to MIL: A calendar. Make sure the "2004"
on it is very prominently.
RESPONSE: Lacking Class
Your MIL and mine sound alike. My FIL is a (now retired) small town
elected official, complete with a local building named after him.
My MIL believes that when she goes out, she should always be dressed
in a suit. This is even if she goes to the grocery store to pick
up a loaf of bread, or to the gas station to get her car filled up.
I have been told that, since my DH is a professional, I should also
dress the same way and wear suits whenever I am seen out in public.
Our oldest invited her grandparents to a softball game that she was
playing in. FIL dressed casually, as did DH and I. MIL dressed in
her suit, heels and diamond earrings to go to a field out in the middle
of nowhere (where we all brought our own chairs, as there where not
even bleachers)! Another story; MIL complained that she finally dropped
one of her women's clubs, because whenever a project came up that
required a contribution (money), the others would all say let (MIL)
do it. She never figured out that by her behavior, she was inviting
this type of response. I wear clothes that are appropriate to the
situation, and after 17 years of marriage, I don't hear about my lack
of style any more. I do know that she still hates jeans, but oh well!
I guess she has just finally figured that I'll never have class, either!
My MIL refers to me as THE
WHORE. This I find amusing. She perceives herself as a
high-society, wealthy, in-all-ways superior person. This makes
the outcome of this story soooo sweet. There is no way that
I could put up with the things you DILs/SILs do. My DH (then
boyfriend) moved to another state to be with me. I am African
American, my DH is biracial (black/white). One time, when I
was on the phone with him before we actually got together (I knew
he lived above his mother) she asked who was paging him. Ok,
I let that go. When he moved to be with me, she called, crying
and in hysterics, telling him on the voicemail to never come to her
house again. This woman forced him to get married at age 16,
against his wishes. She has constantly denied that he's black.
She'll say, "Oh, he looks Indian, Samoan, Hawaiian, East Asian,
Native Alaskan," ANYTHING BUT BLACK. When he was in the
third grade, a classmate called him the "N" word.
When he came home to tell her, she said that she didn't want to hear
about it. My DH didn't even know that he was black until he
was 15! She treats her all white sons like gold, and treats
my DH like cr@p. She made him put away his "BLACK THINGS"
when he was young, whenever company was expected. When he went
to college, he got a degree in African-American American Literature
and became immersed in black culture. He said that he'd felt
empty all those years. Fast forward. My DH and I lived
together for 1 year before she realized that I am not a woman to be
played with. We have RULES in our relationship. She was
told that if she can't abide by them, then to he!! with her.
She gets mad that my DH won't get her coffee, let her sit in the front
seat, checks with me before doing things (e.g., leaving the house,
etc.,). She cried when we told her that we were getting married,
and walked out of the wedding. The day before we were to be
married (like I didn't have enough to stress about), she said negative
comments to me such as, "He treats you like a f*cking queen".
God forbid a man treat his wife like a queen. She told him to
leave me and the baby, and that she would pay for a ticket back home.
She tells me that her first DIL (who was only 16) is much prettier
than me, skinnier than me, and a better person than me. I asked
her, "Then, why is your son with me?" She's asked
why we "had to go and have a baby". She claimed that
our baby would never amount to anything. Ha. She has said
that she could "deal" with me more if I were different.
Needless to say, the very spunk, attitude, and feisty personality
that she can't stand is exactly what my husband loves about me!
Now get this: At Xmas, for some strange reason, she sent me
2 expensive gifts. She sent my son toys and clothes. She
sent me gifts for the baby (including a pair of high heels).
And, guess what she sent DH, her own son? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!
Was she trying to make a point?! She constantly TRIES to get
in our personal business, and I CONTINUE to tell her that I'm not
having it. My DH tells her to keep out of our private lives,
so she whines to the rest of her family and MY PASTOR about how horrible
I am. Whenever my DH's father is brought up (he is black), she
gets HYSTERICAL. It's been 4 years since we've been together.
Oh, how sweet it is. This superior, high-society, hoity-toity,
so sophisticated woman's life is HE!! right now. Her husband
lost his job, then stopped talking to her. Her "perfect"
son is in a mental institution, she's BROKE, and whaddya know?
She's in REHAB for her DRINKING PROBLEM!!! And, best of all,
she had to call and eat some SERIOUS humble pie, because she wants
to see our daughter, who began talking at 9 months. She is two
years old, speaks in complete sentences, counts, and can spell her
name!
Signed - You Played Yourself,
MIL
RESPONSE: You Played Yourself, MIL
I think that you sound very controlling and nasty. Maybe you do have
problems with your MIL, but obviously she does not have a pleasant
life from what you have described, and you are making it worse. Ever
hear of tolerance and patience?
RESPONSE: You Played Yourself, MIL
It sounds like your MIL has insecurity issues with herself. You guys
just need to do what my DH does. When she calls, don't answer. Don't
return messages. Just cut them out. If the day comes when she agrees
to follow the rules, maybe you can reach the point of having some
limited contact. Don't let her drag you guys down, too. Just take
care of your family, and maybe she'll get the point of what unconditional
love is supposed to be about - not what color you are.
Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories and
responses received will be posted as early as our resources will allow.
Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then posted, all at
once, to the original story page at a later date (generally, one set of
responses will be posted per day).
DISCLAIMER: All advice on this website is for informational
and entertainment purposes only. All responses are from reader submissions
unless specifically noted otherwise (such as Dr. Terri Apter advice page).
We do not endorse any of the advice. We provide it to you as a service.
We can neither guarantee the soundness of the advice, nor make any claims
as to the outcome of following this advice. We provide it for your
entertainment only. Should you choose to follow any of the advice,
it is solely at your own risk. This is not intended to substitute
for obtaining advice from appropriate sources and/or professional counseling.
We recommend you consult an appropriate professional, counselor, and/or
a trusted advisor before taking any action based on this advice.
B A Squared, LLC and www.motherinlawstories.com make no representations or
guarantees regarding any information dispensed on this site.
Your privacy is important to us. Click here to view our
Privacy Policy.
