For one, my MIL expects us to help
her financially when she has problems. Of course, the main
problem is that she doesn't know, and never has known, how to manage
money. Her vehicle has been having problems for over a year.
She got a couple of thousand dollars on a settlement, and instead
of fixing her car, she went to a dollar store that was going out
of business and proceeded to buy a bunch of CR@P. Then, she
bragged about all the stuff that she bought. And, she even
sent some cr@p home to my house with DH. Then, a few months
after, her transmission went out. She lives four hours away,
and she proceeded to call my husband and say, "Yeah, I've been
walking all over town." She proceeded to say that she
was walking several miles a day. Well, DH was freaking out,
worrying about his mom (the rest of his family is there, but they
are too sorry to help). So, he said, "Well, mom, let's
see if we can get it fixed!" But, NO, she wanted another
car. Well, she was supposed to be saving her money to help
fix her own car, but what did she do? She decided that she
wanted blue eyes, so she got contacts (mind you, she's worn glasses
for twenty years). She came down to our house while we were
getting her car fixed, and she complained about how broke she was
(although she hasn't had car expenses or insurance to pay for in
four months, which should have helped her save money). But,
NO, she's buying d@mn contacts!
Signed - Bad DIL
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Strongly Agree
Somewhat Agree
Somewhat Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Please Seek Counseling
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Today is DH's birthday.
His mother (who lives interstate) rang me this morning after DH had
left for work. She asked me to buy him a birthday card from
her!!!!!! What am I supposed to write in it, "Darling DS,
Happy Birthday, Lots of Love, Mummy", and hand it to him???????
Does she think that he is too stupid to figure out that I wrote it
and she didn't???? She forgets his birthday (and everyone else's)
every year, so why make an effort this year????? At the end
of the conversation, she requested that he call her back tonight when
he gets home so that she can organize him to get some part for her
car, which has broken down. "Hello Idiot~In~Law, you live
out of state. Why don't you get BIL, who lives 40 minutes away,
to get the part for you????
Signed - Happy Birthday
Son!!!! By The Way, Can You Fix My Car???????
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
Worst gift: My gift
from my MIL this year was her dead mother's pair of shorts (multicolor),
size 44. I was absolutely disgusted, and gave it to my nanny.
I had a baby girl 1 year ago, her granddaughter, and that is the gift
SHE gave me.
Signed - Abused DIL
RESPONSE: Abused DIL
And, how do you think the nanny felt?
RESPONSE: Abused DIL
Why would you give something, that you think is disgusting, to your
nanny?
RESPONSE: Abused DIL
What did your nanny do to deserve such a horrible gift?
RESPONSE: Abused DIL
Just curious, why would you give disgusting shorts to your nanny?
RESPONSE: Abused DIL
It wasn't good enough for you, but it was good enough for your nanny?
RESPONSE: Abused DIL
You're right, that is a disgusting gift. But, how come it was okay
to give it to your nanny?
RESPONSE: Abused DIL
Well, aren't YOU the snooty snoot? Why don't YOU raise your child,
instead of paying someone to do it?
RESPONSE: Abused DIL
I bet that your nanny was delighted to receive them (can you hear
the sarcasm?). If you thought that they were so hideous, why not
throw them in the bin?
RESPONSE: Abused DIL
LOL I hope that you didn't repeat that story verbatim to her, or
we'll soon be seeing her story at a "worst gift from employer"
web site.
RESPONSE: Abused DIL
That's a really bad gift - but you are just as awful for giving it
to your nanny. This is the person who watches your daughter! You
know how the gift made you feel when you received it, why would you
do that to another person???
RESPONSE: Abused DIL
If you were so disgusted with the shorts, why the %$#! would you give
them to your nanny? Why wouldn't you just toss them? Your gift to
your nanny is as bad as your MIL's gift to you!! You know, there
may be a web site out there where nannies write about the horrible
gifts that they receive from their employers.
RESPONSE: Abused DIL
You get a pair of shorts that belonged to a dead woman, and you were
so disgusted by them that you gave them to your nanny???? It must
be nice to have a nanny at all. Quit whining about being abused.
Abused is when they ridicule you in front of the rest of the family
and no one stands up for you. Count yourself lucky.
Let me start with a little
background. DH had an affair, and I caught him 6 months ago.
It has been a very hard 6 months dealing with his lies, let alone
the thought of him with another woman. Fast forward to this
past weekend. I answered the phone and it was my MIL.
I have always been very nice to my in-laws. Though I do not
feel that close to her, I always felt that we did have a good relationship.
Well, this past weekend I got an earful from her. I guess my
DH has not been telling her everything that goes on; that I have caught
him lying to me and telling me stories that don't add up. My
MIL told me that I should not be quizzing him anymore. My MIL
said that he broke it off with the other girl, and that there is nothing
more that he can do. When she said this, I asked her if she
knew that her son was unfaithful to me before I caught him, and the
phone went silent for a minute. She said that I am too hard
on him, and that he repented with god. So, now that god has
forgiven him, there is no reason to doubt his integrity again.
I really don't know what to do. I have not told my husband what
she said to me. I don't really want anything to do with my MIL
again. If she knew about his affair and didn't tell me, I feel
that I am being betrayed again. I understand that she has to
support her son, but what about a little support for me? I have
never gotten any.
Signed - What Do I Do?
RESPONSE: What Do I Do?
Tell your MIL that it is NOT her place or her business, and refuse
to discuss it with her.
RESPONSE: What Do I Do?
It seems clear to me that your problem isn't your MIL. It's your
husband. Time for counseling, at the very least. Personally, I'd
be gone.
RESPONSE: What Do I Do?
How DARE she support your DH, who was screwing around on you! Tell
her to %*$ off and die!
RESPONSE: What Do I Do?
Ask her if she ever heard that part of the marriage ceremony where
the minister (or judge) tells the congregation, "What God has
joined, let no man put asunder." Then, ask her if she has any
comprehension of what that means. Remind her that she has a responsibility
to support this marriage, and that any action she takes contrary puts
HER in the wrong with God and the law.
RESPONSE: What Do I Do?
She doesn't have to support her son. What kind of parent supports
their child in doing something wrong? A BAD PARENT, that's what kind!
And, why the he!! is he tattling to his mommy that you're being vigilant
because he abused your trust? Gosh, I wish I had a mommy like that,
one who supported me no matter what stupid WRONG thing I did. My
mom, darned ole bat, made me face responsibility for my own actions
- and she would continue to do so were I stupid enough to complain
about being called on my errors in judgment by my spouse. You have
every right to be angry and to feel betrayed. It's none of her damned
business if you quiz your DH or if you throw the spotlight on him
and yell, "Ve half vayz off making you TALK."
RESPONSE: What Do I Do?
Your DH may have repented with God, but that doesn't mean that he
has repented with you, right? It is natural to be mistrustful when
a spouse has cheated on you. It will take time for you to forgive
your DH, and then you must work on forgiving MIL for her comments.
In her book, it is all right for DH to run around. But, it would
be a very different story altogether if it were you, correct? Use
this time to sort out whether or not you want to stay with a family
that has such high standards, double though they be. Good luck.
RESPONSE: What Do I Do?
She does not have to support her son. If she is such a Christian,
like she claims to be, yes, she should forgive him. However, she
should be so unbelievably appalled at her PRECIOUS son's infidelity
that she should be wary and angry at him, and totally be on your side.
He BROKE his marriage vows! If my child cheated on their spouse,
I don't think that I could ever forgive them. I would probably disown
them. I believe in forgiveness, but forgiveness does not mean pretending
that it never happened. If you are willing to try to keep the marriage
intact, you are truly a courageous person, and I wish you the best
of luck. But, NEVER, EVER trust him again. You have every right
to question him. Actually, if DH cheated on me and I tried to get
over it, I would still never allow him to go anywhere, except to work,
without me again. I would be like, "Sorry if you don't like
that, but you should have thought about that before you cheated on
me." I am so sure that if you were the one who cheated, she
would not be so quick to forget all about it and pretend that it never
happened. I hate how some parents will kiss their kids' butts no
matter what a loser that child is, and feel that everything they do
is perrrrrrrrrrrfect!!!!! Bleh!
RESPONSE: What Do I Do?
That's messed up! My MIL did the same thing! When I first told her
that my DH slept with my best friend, she was very nice and supportive.
Then, two months later, she went into denial that her son was such
a dog. She turned against me and accused me of stirring things up.
She has now taken back the deal of us buying the house from her that
we found, made every mortgage payment on, and did plenty of modifications
to. She says that she wants to live in it now. She also said that
we have a month, maybe two! We have five children! Her grandkids!
She could not care less, though. She just wants the house!
RESPONSE: What Do I Do?
Ok, the first thing you should do is STOP BEING A DOORMAT! Stand
up for yourself already. He was wrong and he knows it, and so does
your MIL. She knows that he is wrong, but it would hurt her pride
to admit that her son was wrong. Plus, she knew about it beforehand.
She knows that she is wrong, herself, for not saying anything or doing
anything about it. Second, think real hard about whether this is
something that you can handle for the rest of your life - your cheating
husband and his enabler mother? It should be obvious to you now that,
no matter what wrong your husband does, his mother will be there to
back him up. So, decide what kind of life you want, then do something
about it (marriage counseling, your own therapy, divorce, etc.).
RESPONSE: What Do I Do?
I'm so sorry that you are going through this. My MIL pulled the same
cr@p on my SIL (DH's brother's wife). She had his mistress over for
tea! She thought that she was such a lovely girl! The skank was
a home-wrecking slut! In the meantime, my SIL was at home caring
for two children single-handedly, since my BIL was just as bad a father
as he was a husband. Then, my MIL had the nerve to call my SIL after
BIL left her for his bimbo (and she was a bimbo) and tell her that
maybe if she "fixed herself up more", her son would want
to come back to her. This is how my MIL treated her DIL, and she
was the DIL who MIL supposedly liked! The whole situation is appalling.
Your MIL should be berating and lecturing her cheating son, or else
minding her own business. If you think the marriage is worth saving,
then tell DH that he needs to go to a marriage counselor, pronto.
You have serious trust issues with him, between his cheating on you
and his obvious need to run and tell his mommy on you when he feels
that he is being questioned. I wish you luck. You might be better
off without both of the losers.
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