Worst gift: Gift??
What gift? There was a tag sale find in my early years of
marriage, with the .50 cent orange sticker still affixed, 11 garbage
bags filled with a deceased aunt's clothing (size 16, I wear an
8). I received my FIL's "preppy" clothes from his
college years. They were stored in an outdoor shed for 40
years, molded and mildewed. He thought that I might wear them.
Nobody is cheaper than the family that I married into. In
23 years of marriage, I have not received one new thing (except
a check for 50 bucks at Hanukah). Our engagement present was
a set of ugly (everyday) dishes that 6 of them (2 grandmas, 2 kids
and 2 parents) had chipped in for. Maybe it set them back
50 bucks . I could go on forever, but why bother? I
really don't have anything to do with them anymore, after I let
them stay at my home for 15 years and feeding them 5 dinners/week.
Now, I am the breadwinner, not DH. I work full time, and have
no guilt about not kissing their tushies. Oh, and did they
ever offer to do or take my children anywhere? Their gift
to my 14 year old daughter is a baby bra and panties from a discount
department store (as in $1.49/set). Do they not see that she
is a woman now ???? And, $5 cash was given to my 19 year old,
who is at college - enough for 1 slice of pizza!!!
Signed - What Gift?
0
5
Strongly Agree
Somewhat Agree
Somewhat Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Please Seek Counseling
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- trapped, 2 of 4 needed/Posted:
10-OCT-03
I, unfortunately, live with my MIL, her 3 sons (ages
22, 27 and 28), my partner, his nana and my 2 children. I hate
it. Why would I put myself in this tormenting position, you
may ask, living under the same roof as ALL of my in-laws? Well,
my partner broke his neck, and, financially, we have been forced to.
So, when MIL is annoying you, take a few moments to reflect, think
of me, and know that I would rather be in your shoes, as life with
them all in your face every day is miserable.
Signed - Every Day Is Miserable
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
My MIL and FIL offered to
baby-sit so that we could go out for the evening. We made plans.
The day before we were to go out, they said that they could not be
on time, so we had to take the baby with us. They would come
to pick him up. I was not happy about this, since it was the
dead of winter and freezing out, but we did it just the same.
When they picked the baby up, I told them that he had not eaten in
a while and there was expressed breast milk in the fridge at home
for him. I thought that he should go straight home to eat.
What do I know (I'm just the mom). I could not get him to nurse
while we were out because there was no quiet place to go, so he would
not settle down. Instead of taking him home, they went to get
pizza for themselves. Of course, they come before a wee baby,
don't they? Then, baby was crying and crying for some milk,
so they bought him some formula and a bottle and went to SIL's place.
Of course, they drove with him out of his car seat. He was crying
so hard that they held him instead! We tried to call and see
how baby was, but we could not find them! Of course, we were
freaking out, thinking that they had been in an accident or something.
So, we came home. There they were with baby - he was still crying!
They couldn't understand why I could possibly have been mad.
I should have been grateful that they were there baby-sitting.
I think my son was traumatized for life after a night with them!
They never baby-sat for us again.
Signed - How Did Her Kids
Survive?
RESPONSE: How Did Her Kids Survive?
Jack@sses! Your ILs, that is. You gave them a chance, and they blew
it. Lesson learned.
RESPONSE: How Did Her Kids Survive?
Okay, saying that your son was traumatized for life is a bit much.
But, the car seat thing (especially) and the making him wait for his
food is unforgivable. That would warrant them never seeing my child,
unsupervised by me, EVER again.
Frequent
Fry Her TM
- keeps getting worse and worse and worse, 2 of 4 needed/Posted:
10-OCT-03
My MIL has a drinking problem. I first noticed
it about two years ago. It seems to have been isolated to just
the evenings and night time, around dinner time. She continually
embarrasses herself. About a month ago she was drinking on a
Sunday night, and there were several of us over for dinner.
There were about 12 of her grandchildren there. She was so drunk
that she was hanging all over my SIL's DH. She looked like a
drunk in a bar trying to pick him up. He took it in stride and
was very patient. Then, she just started crying and putting
her head on his shoulder. There was also a severe thunderstorm
that night. It was so bad that the lights went out for a short
time. She brought out flashlights. When it came time for
us to leave, the storm had blown through, and she walked us out to
our car. She took one look at the wet pavement and commented,
"Oh, it must have rained tonight. The ground is wet."
I never, ever thought that she would let her drinking interfere with
her grandchildren. Since I noticed the drinking problem, I've
carefully checked her over before I left her with our three children.
Please know that we call her to baby-sit as a last resort - DH and
I are on the same page with this. Last week, DH and I decided
to go to a movie at the last minute. We needed a sitter to come
over in about 1/2 hour. We check with his sister, who couldn't
do it. We asked no one else, and forgot about going. Five
minutes later his mother called, saying that she'd be happy to come
over. Hesitantly, we accepted her offer. About 15 minutes
later FIL called to say that we weren't going anywhere, and to stay
put. Then, my husband got on the phone with him, and he said
that he was following mom and she shouldn't be driving in this condition.
I took our children into their bedroom to tuck them in. There
was a yelling match in my front yard between my MIL and FIL.
DH had to get in the middle. She insisted she wasn't drunk.
She was. We found out later that my SIL tried to stop her from
driving, and THEY had a showdown outside of their home. My MIL
fell twice. The neighbors heard the yelling. She also
hit my SIL several times for trying to stop her from driving.
I never thought that she'd compromise the care of her grandchildren.
They are her world. I guess I was wrong. The unfortunate
thing is that she is not getting the help that she needs. No
one seems to think that there is that great of a problem (my husband
excluded). I think that the family would just like to sweep
it under the table, pretend that the ugly incident never happened,
and ignore the drunken stupors. Needless to say . . .
Signed - She Won't Be Watching
Our Kids Again
RESPONSE: She Won't Be Watching Our Kids Again
Okay, WHY do you even allow a sodden drunk to watch your kids, EVER?
RESPONSE: She Won't Be Watching Our Kids Again
She would have never, never, ever been left alone with my kids. I'm
speechless.
RESPONSE: She Won't Be Watching Our Kids Again
You let her drive drunk? I cannot believe what I am reading. So
what if she hit people or shouted at them, if you knew she was drunk
and was behind the wheel of a car, you should have called the police
and let them hit her with a drunk-driving charge. Maybe she won't
be looking after your kids any time soon, but if she makes a habit
of driving around drunk, she is going to kill someone else's kid.
Sorry, but the rest of your complaint is totally irrelevant to me
compared to that.
RESPONSE: She Won't Be Watching Our Kids Again
What in the world could possibly be important enough to attend that
you would allow an alcoholic to baby-sit your children, even as a
last resort? Just say no, and stand your ground. I also highly recommend
that you check out Al-Anon. Go, even if your DH won't. You'll find
a lot of support there from others who are dealing with alcoholic
relatives.
RESPONSE: She Won't Be Watching Our Kids Again
But your kids will be watching her and your family. Your kids have
already absorbed the message that alcoholism is to be hushed up, and
drunks, and their bad behavior, are to be tolerated. I'm sure that
you do not want your children to have that message. If your MIL can't,
or won't get help, then you and your DH need to stop enabling her.
And, your kids need to understand that you are not tolerating this
behavior. I suggest that you do lots of reading about how alcoholism
affects families. Look up Adult Children of Alcoholics. Alcoholism
runs in families because there is silence between the generations.
Don't let MIL's alcoholism continue to poison your family life.
RESPONSE: She Won't Be Watching Our Kids Again
I think that you are smart not to allow your MIL to baby-sit. Even
if she showed up sober, most alcoholics carry a little "pick-me-up"
with them, and she could get herself good and drunk while you are
out. I can just see her deciding to take your kids out for ice cream
or something. The thought is terrifying. You can't force your MIL
to get treatment. All you can do is let her know that as long as
she is actively drinking, she will never be allowed to see your children
alone. Then, stick with it. It is up to you to protect your children
from harmful influences, even if it is from their own grandmother.
RESPONSE: She Won't Be Watching Our Kids Again
This is why we have police officers. Do the world a favor (and for
your own peace of mind, god forbid she kills someone - you know that
she will want you to bring the grandkids to see her in prison) and
CALL the police the very NEXT time she tries driving, or even appears
in public while intoxicated.
RESPONSE: She Won't Be Watching Our Kids Again
She certainly does have a drinking problem. You are certainly not
the only one who has a family that will duke it out on your front
lawn for the entire neighborhood to see. My own GPs did this to me
while I was staying at the house and my parents were gone on a business
trip. Two girls who were in my grade lived on both sides of them,
and it got around that I had to stop my GPs from practically killing
each other in the street. And, if you think that your situation was
bad with the front yard fight, guess what my GM had on? Nothing but
a bathrobe. And, when she fell, it flew open. It was awful, but
I wasn't exactly shocked, because they do this at special occasions
in our family.
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