Worst gift: My MIL gave
my husband a check for $3,000 for Christmas. It was written
out to him, only (like I'm not ever here). She gave me a thimble
with the price still on it (99 cents). That's telling me something.
Signed - Not Ever A DIL
to MIL
0
5
Strongly Agree
Somewhat Agree
Somewhat Disagree
Strongly Disagree
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I'm getting worried about
my MIL. Before we had the baby, all was great between us.
But, now she seems to be questioning my parenting ability and practices.
When the baby was born, she decided that she was going to come over
and "help". My mother was already with us at that
time. Well, MIL plopped herself down on the floor of our little
one bedroom apartment and proceeded to sleep through most of her visit.
My mother was cooking and cleaning and taking care of me, but MIL
did nothing to help out at all. She took up the most comfortable
chairs, and didn't move unless asked. I was breastfeeding, and
she didn't seem to like that at all. I was wandering around
with my shirt undone all the time, as my milk had come in, and newborns
nurse practically 24/7. She seemed very uncomfortable with that,
and told stories of some people whom she knew who had nursed their
kids into their toddlerhood. This is a bad thing to her, so
I guess she was making her opinion known that she wasn't going to
tolerate this breastfeeding business for very long. She always
"talks like the baby" which annoys me to no end. She'll
say, "Say 'Mom, I want a pacifier!' You tell mom to get
you a pacifier!" Or she'll say, "Say, 'Mom, I don't
like this outfit!' You tell her not to dress you up so much!"
Good lord, I spend twenty four hours a day with this baby. I
think that I know what it wants! She insists that the baby was
"too hot," and would set him down to howl. "No,
he wants to walk. Pick him up and walk him. He's too hot.
He wants to sit down." No, I'd think. MIL, YOU want
to sit down. At one point she wanted to change his diaper.
I let her. She grabbed him by one leg and was handling him too
roughly. She smeared diaper rash cream on so thick that it was
like icing, all up in his bits n' pieces. The baby was screaming
by the time she was done, and I was crying too. She handed him
back like it was perfectly natural that a baby should cry like that.
I couldn't bathe the poor baby to get the cream off, he was too young.
So, I had to scrub with a washcloth and warm water to get off the
excess. The baby is older now, and we gave him a pacifier after
we had determined that it wouldn't interfere with breastfeeding.
But he's not that interested in it, and won't take it all the time.
Poor MIL tries to shove it in his mouth and then complains when he
spits it back out! We went up to vacation up at the family cottages,
and she was there, of course. And, I talked about sending the
baby to summer camp, one day, when he was old enough (eight or ten,
something like that). I had been to camp as a girl and it did
wonders for me. And, I want my son to have the same opportunity.
She shook her head and talked to the baby, not me, "You don't
need to go away to summer camp. You just come here and we'll
go to Camp Grandma. We'll do arts and crafts and go boating.
It's better than summer camp." Uh, isn't camp about getting
away from mom and dad and grandma and learning to do things on one's
own? While we were there, she had some kid with her who was
completely offended by nursing. That was fine, I didn't like
him anyway. And so when I wanted him to go away, I'd just whip
out a breast and start feeding the baby. But this KID asked
me to go inside my own cottage to nurse, while he sat out on my porch.
"It's our cottage and our porch. I'll nurse where I please."
He then tried to mock nursing, saying that I'll be raising a momma's
boy. I explained that breastfed babies tend to have higher IQ's,
and he shut up. I just can't believe that my MIL let him get
away with that rude behavior. She hates it when I nurse in public
and says, "Say, 'Mom, you need a nursing cape.' Yeah, we'll
get mom a nursing cape." Cape, schmape, the baby pulls
off any coverings because he likes to see what's going on while he
nurses. Just wait until I keep nursing past one year and we'll
see how mad she gets!
Signed - The Shetland Pony
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
Worst gift: Last Christmas
my MIL sent me: 3 old musty dishtowels that had been her kitchen
(not matching, by the way, and these were actually my birthday gift,
1 month late !). 1 Old Christmas ornament that was broken in
half. 1 Old Christmas ornament that was missing pieces where
the glue had worn off (both were fairly dusty, too!). It literally
looked like she had sent me junk that she found in a box in the garage!
DH and the baby got brand new clothes from the nice stores.
And DH also got a tin of homemade cookies (none were broken!).
I should probably count myself fortunate, as I am not usually remembered
and get nothing! I guess that after being married for 9 years
to her son and having her grandchild 10 months ago, she felt that
she HAD to give me something!
Signed - Lucky Me
RESPONSE: Lucky Me
Why not hang on to those items and "regift" her with them
next Christmas?
RESPONSE: Lucky Me
I'd rather have nothing than that pile of secondhand cr*p.
My MIL has never really
accepted me. She resents that she is no longer the most important
woman in my husband's life. She has also been married 4 times
herself, in between long strings of different boyfriends. Everything
is about her, and she is not exactly a mother of the year type.
After my wedding reception, she accused me of trying to get her 15
year old daughter, my new sister in law, high! WITH WHAT?!
Can you believe that! She has tried to create drama and problems
between my husband and me from the very start. The worst, so
far, just happened in July when my husband and I went to go visit
my MIL, her husband, and my SIL. DH is a Marine who had just
returned from combat. We were seeing them for the first time
in over a year. We were looking forward to having a relaxing
time, going hiking and going to dinners. We had been married
for 2 years. Because of my husband's duties, we never had a
honeymoon. And, because of this war, we had been apart over
a year collectively. We repeatedly told my MIL what we wanted
to be doing. Then, the day before we left she emailed us her
ITINERARY! It was complete with a list of which days we could
sleep in! We just wanted a relaxing time, and we spent 8 days
being shuttled from place to place with people whom we didn't even
know so that she could show off DH and our 10 month old daughter ("Oh,
and this is his wife."). She would move my seat at dinner
time so that she could sit between DD and DH. She would roll
her eyes at me during conversations, and all kinds of similarly petty,
rude, and self-absorbed nonsense. But, my husband finally saw
her for who she really is. He saw for himself everything that
I kept telling him. We left 4 days early, and spent the rest
of our vacation doing what we wanted and visiting his brother and
other friends whom he had wanted to see. And, when we were visiting
them, we found out all kinds of disgusting and ugly things that she
had been saying, and all kinds of lies that she had been telling people.
She even told one person that she wasn't even sure if our daughter
is really my husband's. Is that a hateful b!tch, or what!
Signed - Outraged and Tired
of It
RESPONSE: Outraged and Tired of It
At least DH sees his mom for what she is, and is independent of her.
You are far ahead of the game!
RESPONSE: Outraged and Tired of It
Yep. She certainly is a hateful b!tch. To be quite frank, if anyone
had sent me an itinerary for my trip the day before I left, I wouldn't
have gone at all. At least your DH came to his senses and you left
early.
RESPONSE: Outraged and Tired of It
Those eight days showed DH what his mother was really like. It was
time well spent, however unpleasant it was at the time. Don't let
MIL sweet talk her way out of this. She owes your entire family an
apology. And, a sincere one buys her no more than one more chance.
If she resumes her old tricks, cut her off permanently!
RESPONSE: Outraged and Tired of It
Thank God your DH saw her for the witch she is. Keep doing what you
both enjoy, visiting the people who enjoy your company, and vice versa.
That is what vacation time is about, relaxing and enjoying the visit.
Every time my DH and I ever went on "vacation" and to our
hometown, we needed another vacation to recover from all the stress
of, "You spent more time at HER parent's house than mine."
Gee, my folks actually DO something besides stare at the TV.
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