Frequent
Fry Her TM
- well I just think, 4 of 4 needed/Posted: 22-OCT-03
My husband became very ill in the middle of the night,
and I had to rush him to the nearest emergency room. After
evaluation, he was admitted. I spent a long night sleeping
beside his bed. I was ten weeks pregnant at the time, and
struggling, myself, with severe morning sickness. When dawn
arrived, DH and I agreed that I would drive to our home that was
ten minutes away, catch some sleep and a shower, and return that
afternoon. And, we said that I would call his folks to let
them know what was going on. Well, when I called my MIL, she
flipped out. After criticizing our choice of hospitals (sorry,
lady, it was DH's choice to go to the closest possible location,
given how sick he was), she told me that I should stay at home and
that they would take care of everything. She instructed me
to call before I returned to the hospital. I, of course, ignored
her. After my nap, I returned to the hospital to find my FIL,
MIL and SIL chatting up a storm with poor DH, who had a tube up
his nose and was in terrible pain. Yet, they seemed to treat
it like a social occasion! They bought him books that he wouldn't
read under any circumstances, comics, and so on, as though he were
on vacation. The nurses and doctors had been harassed by my
MIL all morning long. She kept saying that she "wanted
to ask the questions that we would not think to ask", implying
that I am incompetent, and incapable of taking care of my husband.
When we talked to her about this behavior recently, she tried to
claim that it was because she was worried that something would happen
to the baby. Please. She's just a control-freak and
a rampaging b!tch. And, it gave her great personal pleasure
to run DH and me over when we were vulnerable.
Signed - Disgusted With
Her, As Usual
0
1
0
Strongly Agree
Somewhat Agree
Somewhat Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Please Seek Counseling
Continue on Message
Board
I once received a towel
for my birthday from my MIL. My birthday falls during the summer
months. I had not been married to her son for that long, so
I did not expect a lavish gift or anything. But, come on, put
a little thought into it. She gave me a red beach towel.
It was a single red beach towel. I assumed that it was a beach
towel, as it was large. I was speechless. I don't think
that I said much. I just held it up and looked at it, and then
I looked at my husband. And, then I looked at my MIL.
It was a solid red colored towel. There was no print or anything
on it. I am sure that there was a message there of some sort.
She is the type who does not want to be thought of as nasty or mean
whenever she says anything really bad, and she always acts like she
does not understand why anyone is mad or upset . But, she does
manage to get her point across.
Signed - A SINGLE LARGE
SOLID RED TOWEL
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
My DH and I have been married
for 10 years. MIL still keeps pictures of DH's ex-wife in her
wallet. In the picture are DH, his ex wife, and her child (whom
DH adopted). They were only married for 6 years! We have
1 child together, and another on the way. Recently, I handed
her a picture of my family in order to hopefully give her a hint that
she should replace that old picture. To this day, I don't know
what she did with it, but I know that the ex-wife's picture is still
in her wallet. My MIL has some dementia, I came to find out.
I wonder if this is something that I should just ignore at this point.
Also, shortly after my DH and I got married, I was visiting my MIL's
house and saw an old photo album of DH's wedding to his ex!
I know that she didn't mistakenly put that in the living room.
She has photos of OUR wedding, too.
Signed - I Give Up
RESPONSE: I Give Up
That MIL of yours is psycho. That's all I have to say.
RESPONSE: I Give Up
I'm wondering how you know what photos she has in her wallet.
RESPONSE: I Give Up
No, sorry, you do not get to tell MIL what to put in her wallet.
And, if DH adopted the ex-wife's daughter, that child is still family.
RESPONSE: I Give Up
If your MIL has dementia, just ignore all of this. She will only
get worse. I'm assuming she has something like the beginning of Alzheimer's.
Usually they remember the distant past better than the recent past.
And, I'm talking years when I say "past". Good luck.
RESPONSE: I Give Up
Why are you looking in your MIL's wallet? Do you think it is any
of her business what you have in your wallet? Get over it already.
RESPONSE: I Give Up
Try not to take it personally. My MIL is my DH's stepmother, so there
are ALWAYS tons of photos of HER kids all over the place, and only
1 of DH and me. It's our wedding photo, and had we not given it to
her, there wouldn't be ANY of DH. So, make it a point to give her
photos of you and DH often. Put them in attractive frames so that
she won't have to work at all.
RESPONSE: I Give Up
I feel your pain, really. But, you may not see the big picture.
DH adopted his ex's child. Even if they're divorced, it seems to
me that he would still be the daddy. Isn't it possible that MIL keeps
the picture in the wallet because that is her grandchild by adoption?
And, maybe she had the wedding album out because the grandchild was
visiting and was curious. If this is true, then your MIL is a dear
lady who's trying to show her adopted grandchild that, even though
her parents divorced, and even though she's not "blood"
(as many other nastier MILs would put it), she's still family. It
isn't easy seeing your parents divorce. I can't imagine how hard
it would be if you were adopted by one of them. There are serious
abandonment issues there. If this is the case, you should have a
picture taken of everyone - you, your DH, your children with him,
his adopted child, and the ILs. It'd be a nice sentiment, and you
could give your MIL a nice picture as well as a wallet sized mentioning,
"I noticed how you've kept an old picture of (insert adopted
child's name). I thought that you might want a more recent one, she/he
looks so beautiful/handsome in this one, you must be very proud."
If she's not responsive to that, then, yes, she is a nasty old witch
of a woman! Best of luck.
I am interested to know
how to handle this one: My soon-to-be-ex-husband is utterly
psycho. He threatened to kill me, and I ran as fast as my crutches
(from a work-related injury) would allow. Yesterday, a family
friend informed me that, a few years back, he badly beat his mother
(age 60 at the time). This is the same woman whom I did not
like much, because she kept me standing in the rain on her porch for
45 minutes the first time that I spoke with her. She wouldn't
allow me in the house. I found out that she has foisted her
psychotic son off to me without breathing a word. Worse yet,
I was trying to help her get widow's benefits from her late first
husband's employer, so now I have a huge wad of paperwork that I have
to deal with her about. And, did I mention that she's been emailing
my parents to say how disappointed she is that I'm being "bad"
(by going against my religion's practices) and divorcing my abuser?
Signed - Midwestern and
Peeved
RESPONSE: Midwestern and Peeved
Tell her that you're not so bad, and that you wouldn't dream of offending
her by helping her.
RESPONSE: Midwestern and Peeved
Just do what you're doing - leave. Your parents can tell her to stop
e-mailing, or respond that her DS is also going against his marriage
vows to "love and honor" by abusing YOU.
RESPONSE: Midwestern and Peeved
Mail that huge wad of paperwork to her ASAP! It would be up to you
whether or not you let her know where you were in the process.
RESPONSE: Midwestern and Peeved
MIL "foisted" her psychotic son off on you? Excuse me?
YOU'RE the one who agreed to marry the idiot! Leave ex-H, and leave
ex-MIL. Don't look back, but do take responsibility for your future
actions.
RESPONSE: Midwestern and Peeved
Good for you for leaving an abusive situation. Drop all MIL's paperwork
in a large envelope and send it to her to deal with. The end. Do
NOT put your return address on it, as it will make it easier for STB
ex to find you. Good luck.
RESPONSE: Midwestern and Peeved
First of all, send all of her paperwork back to her. Let her figure
it out for herself, or let her lovely son help her. I have no tolerance
for women who criticize other women in violent relationships. You
owe her nothing. I hope you reported the threats to kill from your
STB-X to the police. If you didn't, do it now.
RESPONSE: Midwestern and Peeved
Take all the pension/benefits paperwork to your soon to be ex-MIL
and hand it to her. Wash your hands of both of them - refuse any
contact that isn't through your divorce attorney. And, I hope that
you have a protective order in place against your husband!
RESPONSE: Midwestern and Peeved
Good for you for getting out. But the only thing that you even kind
of "have" to do with that wad of paperwork is stuff it into
an envelope and mail it to your STB ex-MIL. That's if you're feeling
particularly generous. Otherwise, it can get lost somewhere in the
region of her own lost morals.
RESPONSE: Midwestern and Peeved
Give the huge wad of paperwork to your soon-to-be ex-mil and tell
her that you will no longer be able to help her in obtaining her benefits.
If she asks why, tell her that, since she doesn't appreciate your
help, then you will not assist her. Also, tell her that it's a sin
to kill people, and since HER son threatened to kill you, that's enough
reason to leave. Turn around and walk out the door. Good riddance
to both her and her son. Best of luck to you.
RESPONSE: Midwestern and Peeved
A family friend informed you about your DH's bad behavior just recently?
How come he or she didn't tell you this before you married this guy?
You are doing the right thing by leaving. Your life is in danger,
and please get a restraining order against him. There have been way
too many cases where the abuser actually kills the person. Please,
don't put yourself through this any longer. Keep us informed. Good
luck!!!
Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories and
responses received will be posted as early as our resources will allow.
Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then posted, all at
once, to the original story page at a later date (generally, one set of
responses will be posted per day).
DISCLAIMER: All advice on this website is for informational
and entertainment purposes only. All responses are from reader submissions
unless specifically noted otherwise (such as Dr. Terri Apter advice page).
We do not endorse any of the advice. We provide it to you as a service.
We can neither guarantee the soundness of the advice, nor make any claims
as to the outcome of following this advice. We provide it for your
entertainment only. Should you choose to follow any of the advice,
it is solely at your own risk. This is not intended to substitute
for obtaining advice from appropriate sources and/or professional counseling.
We recommend you consult an appropriate professional, counselor, and/or
a trusted advisor before taking any action based on this advice.
B A Squared, LLC and www.motherinlawstories.com make no representations or
guarantees regarding any information dispensed on this site.
Your privacy is important to us. Click here to view our
Privacy Policy.
