Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- Going Crazy /Posted: 29-OCT-03
I wanted the birth of my first child to be an intimate moment between
my partner and me. I made this clear to his family and mine.
Contractions began, and we went to the natural birth suite.
Two hours into the first stages of labor, I found myself feeling
very hot. So, I stripped down to my undies, only. I
was comfortable with this, as it was just DH, my midwife, and me.
Then, in rocked MIL, after my direct request that it be a special
moment between my partner and me. I was so consumed with the
pain of labor that I could not bear to confront her, as my entire
focus was on birthing my daughter. So, she stayed for the
entire birth, and all I could see, as my baby was crowning and I
was completely naked, was not my partner, but MIL at my feet, invading
our privacy once again. She sticks her nose into everything,
so much so, that now she has even seen me naked. Would you
agree that I have a right to be angry about this?
Signed - Sticks Her Nose
Into Everything
0
6
0
Strongly Agree
Somewhat Agree
Somewhat Disagree
Strongly Disagree
Please Seek Counseling
Continue on Message
Board
MIL drives me crazy!!!
DP thinks that the sun shines out of her arse, but I know how two-faced
she is. She is really nice to people face to face, and then
she stabs them in the back. I have witnessed it. She tells
me horrid things about people, and then she is so nice to them.
I know that she does the same to me, from what others have said in
a roundabout sort of way!! She is a "people pleaser".
She tells people what they want to hear, and then she says another
to someone else!!
Signed - adenuffofmil
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
A few years ago, my husband
and I treated his mother to a fancy Mother's Day dinner. During
the meal, MIL wouldn't speak to me (we have always gotten along until
now), and made it a point to only thank my husband for treating her
to dinner. Well, the next day I called her and asked why she
snubbed me at the dinner table. Well, she hesitated for a minute,
then she said, "Maybe it was that red dress that you wore."
I was shocked. I couldn't understand the sudden change in behavior.
Since that time, she has falsely accused me of stealing a ring from
her (which she later found in her bedroom) and snubbed me during my
pregnancies. She had the nerve to call me up in the hospital,
right after I got out of recovery from a c-section, and tell me that
she was going to "kill my husband" for not calling her right
away with the news. She never asks how I am, and gets pissed
off if we don't have an "open door policy". I've come
to the conclusion that she is a jealous, possessive woman with no
social skills whatsoever. My question is, should I continue
to speak to her? I try to keep the relationship cordial for
the sake of my children, but I'm finding it more and more difficult
to hang around her. I've limited my contact with her.
This makes holidays a difficult, uncomfortable time. Any suggestions??
Signed - Difficult, Uncomfortable
Time
RESPONSE: Difficult, Uncomfortable Time
If you keep her (MIL) in your life, she will only cause more problems.
RESPONSE: Difficult, Uncomfortable Time
If this psycho chick was unrelated to you or DH, would you want her
in your life, never mind in your home or around your children? You
decide.
RESPONSE: Difficult, Uncomfortable Time
Tolerating a toxic or abusive in-law "for the sake of the children"
is as helpful as remaining married to an abusive spouse for the same
reason. It can only hurt the children. The best outcome (for them)
would be that they end up having no respect for you, either.
RESPONSE: Difficult, Uncomfortable Time
I would not have anything to do with her. I never see my MIL. If
you read my story "MIL is a Witch", posted 12th October
2003, you will see why I never see her. I will not allow her to enter
my house. She does not come anywhere near. DH takes the children
around to see her once a week, and the funniest thing about it is
that the stupid woman still thinks that she did not do anything wrong.
Your MIL sounds a bit like mine. What was wrong with your red dress,
anyway? I like red.
RESPONSE: Difficult, Uncomfortable Time
I had a similar problem with my MIL. They would say rude things to
me when DH was out of the room. The remarks became worse as time
went on. I put up with it for some time, because these people were
DH's parents. I had finally had it one day after a rude comment that
was worse than all the others. I now limit my time with them. It
is the best thing that I have ever done. I am much happier now, and
now that they don't get to see their darling son as often, they are
nicer to me. I still dread the holidays, and we no longer spend all
the holidays with them. I make sure that I plan ahead so that we
are busy for at least half of the holidays.
RESPONSE: Difficult, Uncomfortable Time
How old is your MIL? I ask only because she may be starting to suffer
from dementia. Turning on a person with whom you have had a good
relationship up till now, for such a strange reason as the dress they
are wearing, is enough of a warning sign in itself. And, that added
to the other changes in behavior that you have noted, definitely signifies
that something is not right. MIL needs a full mental and physical
checkup, as soon as possible. Dementia cannot be cured, but it can
be treated. And, the person's quality of life can be maintained longer,
if it is diagnosed early.
Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- Going Crazy /Posted: 29-OCT-03
MIL treats my partner like he is a 15 year old school boy! Recently,
she returned home and asked me where my 28 year old partner was.
When I replied, "Oh, he's just gone up to the pub for a drink
with his brother" (who is 27), she had a hissy fit and said,
"That's ridiculous. How could you let him go? He
is on antibiotics. I am going there, right away, to bring him
home!" She jumped into her car and zoomed off up the street!
The man is 28. He is capable of deciding how he wishes to live
his life. To his credit, she came home empty-handed. He
must have told her to go home and stop embarrassing herself!
Upon her return she said to me, "I told him to come home immediately,
as you were upset that he was at the pub." I was not upset.
When he replied to her, "NO mum, she's not upset. She doesn't
mind me being here (which was completely true)," MIL replied
to him, "Oh, you're wrong. It may appear that she's not
upset, but she really is hiding her true emotions from you."
Like I'm dishonest. I trust my partner, yet she attempts to
destroy our relationship by planting seeds of confusion and doubt
in my partner's mind. Following this incident, I visited my
family for a few days and I returned home to a panicked partner who
questioned me as to where I'd "really been", as his mother
had been suggesting that I was having an affair! Just because
her relationship failed due to her husband having affairs, she believes
that everyone is dishonest! These are the sort of immature games
that I deal with on a daily basis.
Signed - She Drives Me
Crazy
RESPONSE: She Drives Me Crazy
He needs counseling to help deal with these mind games. His mother
knows what buttons to push. He seems ok when you are around, but
you've seen the result when she has a few days to work on him alone.
Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories and
responses received will be posted as early as our resources will allow.
Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then posted, all at
once, to the original story page at a later date (generally, one set of
responses will be posted per day).
DISCLAIMER: All advice on this website is for informational
and entertainment purposes only. All responses are from reader submissions
unless specifically noted otherwise (such as Dr. Terri Apter advice page).
We do not endorse any of the advice. We provide it to you as a service.
We can neither guarantee the soundness of the advice, nor make any claims
as to the outcome of following this advice. We provide it for your
entertainment only. Should you choose to follow any of the advice,
it is solely at your own risk. This is not intended to substitute
for obtaining advice from appropriate sources and/or professional counseling.
We recommend you consult an appropriate professional, counselor, and/or
a trusted advisor before taking any action based on this advice.
B A Squared, LLC and www.motherinlawstories.com make no representations or
guarantees regarding any information dispensed on this site.
Your privacy is important to us. Click here to view our
Privacy Policy.
