Frequent
Fry Her TM
- chevyjewel, 1 of 4 needed/Posted: 10-NOV-03
So, here's a kicker. MIL is divorcing FIL because
she says that he drinks too much, and never made her happy in the
25 years that they were married. MIL wants lots of money for
"alimony", but no responsibility for BIL, who's 16.
She's seeing some guy with three kids, openly, I guess, because
people have seen her with him. People say that she's living
with him already. FIL (who I think does have a drinking problem,
but has never gotten physically or mentally abusive to her) checked
into treatment, and completely quit drinking. MIL doesn't
care what he does anymore, and FIL is completely heartbroken.
I've been taking him grocery shopping, and we go over to the house
several times a week to keep him company, but he's devastated.
He just finally got a lawyer. She keeps coming into the house
and taking more stuff when he's not there. He thinks that
if he gives her what she wants, she'll come back to him eventually.
If he's taking care of BIL, I think he should at least get child
support. I'm hoping that we find out that she has some kind
of tumor that's making her so stupid, but I'm beginning to think
that she really is evil.
Signed - Hope and Pray
That Someday She Falls Off The Face of the Earth
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When DH and I got engaged,
he was living in my hometown, and was far away from his family, so
I had not met them yet. As we were planning the wedding, I arranged
for my mother and me to go to their city to meet my FILs. At
first, my FDH was very excited, but he couldn't join us. So,
he arranged with his family that they would pick us up at the airport
and take us to our hotel. And, then I said that I would invite
them to an elegant restaurant to get to know each other. I was
really excited to meet them, at last, and I figured that, if my DH
was in this family, they all would be as adorable as he is - ha!
We arrived to the airport right on time, and started to look for them.
And, guess what? None of them had arrived yet, so we waited
and waited for more than an hour. They never showed up, nor
did they call. Finally, I arranged for a taxi to take us (I
was sooo hating them by now) to our hotel. Then, I called my
FDH, and he was surprised. He told me that maybe it was because
of the traffic or something. He called them and told them to
get in touch with me at my hotel. For the next of that day and
the following day they did not get in touch with me. Finally,
one day before we were leaving, they called. There was no apology,
nor was there even a mention of the airport incident. I tried
to overlook this, and invited them to join us that same night for
dinner at our hotel at 7. They (MIL, SIL, BIL and his GF) came
all right, but at 8:30. By this time I was very angry, but I
had to control myself because of my mother. At 9:00 we got a
table (because our reservation was way overdue), and my MIL (whom
I flew to meet) sat beside my BIL's GF and talked all night to her,
ignoring everyone else, including my mother and me. At some
point during dinner, my BIL apologized that no one came to pick us
up at the airport. He then promised me that they would come
to the hotel the next day to take us to lunch and then to the airport,
so we agree to meet the next day at 1pm as soon as we checked out.
The dinner (quite expensive, if I may say, because my ILs did not
offer to pay for anything, and ordered two or three dinner plates
for each) ended with neither my mother nor me having an opportunity
to get to know any of them, as they talked amongst themselves and
answered in monosyllables at our questions or comments. So,
on the next day I woke up late, had breakfast with my mother, and
checked out by 1 pm, as scheduled. We sat in the lobby to wait
for them. Our flight back was at 5:00, so we had 4 hours to
spend. By 2 PM I was getting tired of waiting, and I remembered
that the night before my MIL gave me her cell phone number.
I dialed and got a busy signal, so I left a message. Twenty
minutes later I did the same thing. And, on the third time that
I dialed the phone number, someone picked up the phone. So I
asked for MIL, and the voice on the phone told me that that was HIS
cell phone number, and that I should please stop leaving him messages
with my MIL's name. He didn't know anyone by that name.
SHE GAVE ME A FAKE PHONE NUMBER. By then, my mother was almost
ragging at them, and I had to, once again, arrange for a taxi to take
us to a nice place to eat and then to the airport. The next
time I heard from them was at my wedding. They never apologized,
nor did they call me for the next 3 months. And, that was just
the beginning.
Signed - Thank God We Live
1200 Miles From Them
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
I was expecting a child
in May 2003. My MIL doesn't work, so she volunteered to come
watch my DD while we were at the hospital with the new baby.
In late March, I started having some complications, and the doctor
told me that I could expect to deliver anytime. We told MIL,
and she said that she had her bags packed and was waiting. That
way, she could come at a moment's notice. A few weeks went by
with no baby. I saw the doctor on a Thursday afternoon.
He decided to induce my labor the following Monday. We informed
MIL to be at our house Sunday evening. Well, don't you know
it, at 3:00am on Friday my water broke. I woke DH up, and told
him to call his mom. I went to take a shower and get ready to
go to the hospital. After my shower, DH told me that his mom
wouldn't come until the doctor confirmed that I was really in labor!
I called a good friend, who luckily didn't mind watching my DD while
we went to the hospital. We got to the hospital where it was
confirmed that my water had broken and that I was in active labor.
DH called his mom again to tell her. She now told him that she
was too tired, and that she needed to sleep for a few more hours.
And, besides, she thought that the baby wouldn't come until Monday!
I'm sorry that my labor didn't come as planned, but she had 5 kids
of her own, and you'd think that she'd understand that babies aren't
predictable in their entrances. The baby was born shortly after
noon, and my MIL arrived at the hospital around 5:00pm. I had
to ask my parents to drive 200 miles to help out with DD. Luckily
for me, I have great parents and they gladly came to help.
Signed - Frustrated
RESPONSE: Frustrated
WTF? Your MIL is either really, really evil, or really, really stupid.
Or maybe both. I'm sorry that she put you through such cr@p.
I have to admit that coming
to check this site has been a daily occurrence for me. I just
got married last year at the age of 39, and one of my biggest concerns
had always been a relationship with a future MIL, just because I knew
how my grandmother had sometimes treated my mother. My father
was like a little god to her, I think, in some ways. Whenever
we visited, I always felt like he came first. One time, when
my grandmother visited, my father wanted my mother to go somewhere,
and my mother did not wish to go. I remember my grandmother
following her down the hall, begging her to "go with him".
Not exactly nightmare stuff, but probably interfering where she shouldn't.
My husband's parents are both deceased, so MIL issues are not a problem
in our relationship. I will say that it has probably been good
for our marriage to have loving parents (mine) but have them live
14 hours away. When we spent the first Christmas at my parents,
we were engaged but not yet married, and my mother was so unfriendly
to my DF. They now love him, but during a phone conversation
with only me on the line, my mother whispered that I could always
"come home." Marriage is not always easy, and it requires
work by both parties. It does take awhile, especially if your
parents have been used to having time and attention, for them to realize
that your spouse is now your family and that he/she is first in line
for your consideration. I also have learned that I don't run
to mama with everything that DH does that I don't like or don't agree
with. It has been an adjustment (for someone who has been single
as long as I have) to get used to checking in with my DH to let him
know where I will be and if I'll be running late so that he won't
worry. I've also had to break my night owl pattern for my early-rising
man. My biggest heartbreak, so far, is the fact that I have
infertility problems, so in all likelihood I will never have a child.
My DH loves me, and tries to help me by pointing out how difficult
and time consuming children can be. Maybe so, but I would love
to have one. I DO have to say something good about my mother,
however. One time, I did tell her about my DH getting mad when
my best friend came over and stayed till 10:30pm (my husband gets
up at 5am). My mother said, "Well, It's His House Too!"
Signed - Married, and Learning
RESPONSE: Married, and Learning
Thank you for that viewpoint from the "other side". My
DH was 31 when we married, and even though he had been living away
from home since he finished high school, he was still a mamma's boy.
Ours was the first serious relationship that DH had ever had. I believe
that his mother was used to being the only "woman" in DH's
life because he was single for so long. She viewed their relationship
as "special" because he could devote his attention to her
whenever she felt like it. He was definitely the favorite. It took
him a long time to even see the apron strings, let alone cut them.
He thought that his mother was just being cautious about our relationship
when she questioned everything that we did together. I think that
she did it because she didn't want him to be with me. His brother
is now the favorite, because he has moved closer to the parent's home
(my DH moved away to my country) and is not married.
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