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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
June 6, 2004
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MIL has been out to get
me from day one. At our wedding rehearsal dinner, she told their
side of the family that she thought her son would marry someone
pretty. The day after we brought my son home from the hospital,
she called and told me that she thought I should feed him a bottle
of water because he wasn't getting enough to eat. She hadn't seen
him for two days. I told her that he had gained weight, and that
he was happy and content. He was always healthy. He never even
lost weight. She said, "O.K." She called my FIL, whom
she had divorced months earlier, at work. She told him to go find
my DH (who works at the same place as his dad) and tell him to get
home, because I was starving that baby. One night, when she was
baby-sitting him, I left a stack of books and his car seat. I told
her that if he cried, the books would probably settle him down.
But, if they didn't, the car definitely would. When we got back,
about three hours later, he was still sniffing in his sleep. He
was not a crier, so I immediately felt guilty for leaving him.
I asked, "Didn't the books work?" I will never forget
her exact words, "I figured he was going to cry anyway, so
I didn't even try them." She had just set him down and let
him bawl. I was mad. So, she didn't watch my kids again for a
long time. I used to take them up to her house to visit, but she
complained about us being there for too long. She has never complained
to me. She tells everyone in the valley how awful I am. We live
in a small community where everyone has known everyone for generations.
She also tells my DH, too. Then, he comes home and say, "My
mom says." It has been a major stress in my marriage. The
things that she says are harmful. She told me to give my baby son
a bottle of beer when he was sick (I had called to get her opinion
on how to bring his fever down when the traditional medicine wasn't
working). My DH remembers her doing this to his little sister.
She told us that I should be breastfeeding him past three months
old. My DH told her that formula is expensive. She said to feed
him cow's milk. She also said that I shouldn't rock him at all.
She is such a control freak. I don't care if she doesn't want anything
to do with us, but I hate how she tells everyone that it is my fault.
This is just the beginning. I will be a frequent visitor to this
sight. She has done so much cr@p, and she continues to add to it
every day. DH has been so supportive to her. Tonight was the first
night that he has taken my side, but I will leave those stories
for another time. Thanks for letting me vent.
Signed - Out To Get Me
From Day One
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( here is my story )
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My MIL is very manipulative
and controlling. Everything has to be done her way, when she wants
it, and sometimes without warning. When the ILs were living with
us, I went into such a depression that I stayed in my room and just
cried. My biggest problem is that I simply don't understand the
family dynamic that my DH comes from. MIL and FIL went through
a nasty divorce when DH was 8 or 9. The family (7 combined) lived
in a 2 bedroom trailer, with the use of only one room, because one
side was completely burnt down and uninhabitable. MIL decided that
she would be a lesbian and moved in her abusive lovers, who were
cruel to the kids and sold all of their stuff. She decided that
for two years, while my DH was in HS (he is also the oldest), she
wasn't going to work, due to an unknown disability. During this
time, the house that they were living in went without electricity
or running water while she refused to get any public assistance.
All of this with a bachelor's degree in communications that she
used to become a celebrity impersonator. The dynamic that I don't
understand is that now she demands to be catered to. She is obstinate
and unreasonable, and she likes to play the intimidator. I have
very little respect for people who beat their children (as she did
countless different times). I have no respect for people with "the
world owes me a living" mentality. But, now it's like all
of the kids believe that they owe her something, too (except for
one, whom I know little about). It's as though she has somehow
been sainted. I don't get it. She is a mean, hurtful person.
Now she thinks that she can play the same games with me. If she
makes a big enough fuss, she thinks that she'll get me to do for
her, like her kids do. When I do something that she disapproves
of, she starts yelling at me, and is totally dumbfounded when I
look at her and say, "I'm not one of yours, and I'm not afraid
of you." But, because I refuse to play her games, and because
I refuse to be controlled, she has started telling her family that
I'm going to be a horrible mother (expecting my first biological
child in September), and that when my baby is born, I'm going to
forget DSS completely, and toss him aside. And, it's like I'm the
only person who sees this, because DH is never home, and he hears
it from her side and mine. He tells me that he sticks up for me
in private, when I'm not around. He tells me that it's just a miscommunication
between her and me, and that we need to work it out on our own.
He doesn't understand how her constant attacks are wearing down
my spirit. Now that we live separate from them, she doesn't acknowledge
me at all, which is fine. I don't go over to see her, ever. I'm
just worried that if she says such bad things about me to everyone
whom she knows (all of which haven't met me yet, due to busy lives),
what in the world is she going to say to my child??? What is she
saying to DSS when I'm not around?? But, I'm so sad because, instead
of congratulating us on our child, his entire family called him
to express their concern about my fitness as a mother. They tell
him that I'm too hard on DSS (though they've never met me) and that
I'm going to push him aside when the new baby is born. She's poisoned
them all against me. I don't know what to do.
Signed - She's Poisoned
Them All Against Me
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Working Women Don't Have Wives