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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
July 12, 2004
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Worst gift: One of my
previous entries was about how I gained weight and then lost it.
I mentioned how they kept wanting to feed me and have me eat every
time we went to visit, and how for Xmas they never give me anything
nice or useful. Well, I forgot to mention how, when they give
me clothes, they are always the "small" size. Even
when I was bigger they started buying me sweaters that looked
like they would fit a 16 year old. Hmmmm, maybe I should start
buying the MIL and older SIL LARGE shirts/sweaters. OH yeah,
of course, there is NEVER a receipt so that I can return these
items. And, one year I tried to return a candle set. I found
out that the she paid $2.50 for it. I just left it on the counter
with the clerk, and left the store.
Signed - fedupwithher
( I can top this )
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Worst gift: After my
DH and I had been married almost two years, for my birthday my (youthful)
MIL gave me a size 16, V-neck sweater top with a matching wool skirt.
The outfit was beautiful and fashionable, but I was a size 8/10.
My ribs showed, for crying out loud. The worst part was having
my DH demand that I wear the outfit, as given to me (even though
the V front went below my bra line and I'd have had to pin the skirt
halfway around myself). Even though that was decades ago, I can
still feel the astonished hurt at having my DH fully, unrelentingly
angry with me for taking that outfit back (no more like it in a
smaller size) and buying a different one with the money. This turned
out to be one of many such episodes, over the years, of my DH making
ridiculous demands of me in the name of honoring and respecting
his mother's gifts, from new things to old furniture that she frankly
didn't want in her home anymore, but didn't want to get rid of in
another way. The latter, we are supposed to be obligated to keep
forever, but never forget that it isn't ours. Not all gifts have
been bad, but the strain of dealing with his mother's catiness toward
me, in addition to his insistence that I use something in a way
that would make his mother happy, whether it can work or not, still
goads me after decades.
Signed - Number Two
( respond to this story )
( I can top this )
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This is not a MIL story;
it's a response to all the postings in which ILs and parents argue
about access to the kids, or place the kids in the center of their
ongoing mutual dislikes for each other. I am an only child, and
my dad died when I was only two. My mom and my dad's family stayed
in close contact, however, for my sake. I did not meet most of
my dad's family until I was eighteen, because my dad's death was
tragic (he committed suicide) and I was too much of a reminder of
him for his family to see me. But, all through my childhood and
adolescence, my grandmother, aunt, great aunt and great uncles and
my father's cousins sent presents and/or cards for every one of
my birthdays and every Christmas. It really was like being visited
by Santa: there were all these presents under the tree from people
whom I didn't even KNOW! In turn, my mother sent them and their
kids cards, presents, and letters telling them what I was up to.
When I played my first public recital in New York (I am a musician),
when I was 17, one of my father's first cousins, whom I had never
met, flew across the country to hear it. I always wondered about
my father and his family, and growing up it meant so much to know
that they considered me a part of the family. They sent wonderful
gifts, but even if they hadn't sent any - only cards - the contact
and care for someone whom they had never met made me feel really
loved. On my mom's side of the family I was close to my grandparents.
But, when my mom remarried and moved north, my grandparents refused
to speak to her, because they did not like my mom's new DH's religion.
Consequently, I did not get to visit them for over two years, and
all while I was adjusting to my stepfather (whom I did not like)
and new school, etc. During that time, my GPs celebrated their
50th wedding anniversary. They had a huge party, and I missed it.
When I finally went down south to visit them several years later,
my grandmother and I were sitting at the kitchen table after dinner,
and she said to me, "Sit tight, I have a surprise for you for
dessert." From the freezer, she took out a selection of desserts
from their 50th wedding anniversary that had been wrapped and saved
JUST FOR ME FOR OVER TWO YEARS!!!! Being only 11, and not knowing
better, I was a bit skeptical about eating food from an event held
TWO YEARS previously. But, let me tell you, those "ancient"
delectations tasted better than the BEST dessert anywhere. I was
so pleased and proud that my grannie had thought of me on her and
my GF's special and probably hectic day. The reason that I share
this is because these gestures from my GPs and dad's family made
me feel very loved and very cherished, and I carry that feeling
with me everywhere I go, no matter what happens to me. My family
was (and is) faaaaaaaaaaaaaaar from perfect. But, that love and
attention made a difference in my life, and I hope I remember that
when I become a mom, an aunt, an IL, and a (yikes!) grandmother.
Signed - Speaking On
Behalf Of All The Kids Caught In The Middle of IL Wars
( respond to this story )
( here is my story )
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and responses received will be posted as early as our resources will
allow. Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then
posted, all at once, to the original story page at a later date (generally,
one set of responses will be posted per day).
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Working Women Don't Have Wives