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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
July 27, 2004
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Worst gift: You want
me to top this? Ok, how about this: MIL gave me a
set of old flannel pajamas for Christmas. OLD meaning 20+
years old, with YELLOW STAINS IN THE ARMPITS and holes in them.
Nice, huh?
Signed - Yellow Jammies
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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I have been married for
12 hard years. We have no arguments between us, but my MIL
is a CONSTANT source of family fights. She likes to complain
about us to everyone. We have a huge family. Everyone
would rather not talk to either of us than to get involved.
I don't blame them. I don't like introducing my family to
friends simply because I see what's coming. MIL is sweet to
me to my face, but goes behind me and complains. Why won't
she say it to my face??? I AM TIRED of this. I have
two kids, and now she's talking to my 8 year old daughter.
I cannot stand this!!! I have confronted her and she FLATLY
denies it. I don't like playing the "they said, you said"
game. I want to add that my DH supports me 100%. It's
just me. I just don't want to do this anymore, and it's making
me a "bottled up" person, because I am forever trying
to distinguish between my friends and my MIL's spies.
Signed - Enough Already
RESPONSE: Enough Already
Don't let your kids have private time with GM. As for the rest
of society, don't let it bother you. Live your life like good people,
and let your actions speak for themselves.
RESPONSE: Enough Already
If DH was 100% supportive, these people wouldn't even be in your
life anymore, let alone "talking to" (read: brainwashing)
your DD.
RESPONSE: Enough Already
When I read your story, it was so familiar that I am wondering if
we share the same MIL! DH's family is also very big, and MIL is
a vicious gossip. It seems that everyone in the family enjoys a
scandal, so rather than get our side of the story, they ignore us
and believe the lies. Thank the heavens for a DH who is supportive
of you. Focus your attentions on making your own family happy,
and forget about the negative relatives!
RESPONSE: Enough Already
She's talking about you behind your back to your 8 year old daughter?
Two words: Supervised Visits. If you depend on her for child care,
make other arrangements NOW. She's going to say what she's going
to say, and there's not a lot that you can do about it. But, she
has absolutely NO RIGHT to interfere with your relationship with
your minor child.
RESPONSE: Enough Already
I understand that it must be very hard on you. One thing that you
MUST do is: do not ever leave your children alone with your MIL.
Ever. Who cares if she is their GM? She does not deserve it if
she is only going to trash you. Don't attend family events. If
your DH wants to go, you and the kids can stay home. Why should
you bother? Are you a glutton for punishment?
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My MIL is not as bad
as some of the ones on here. But, she is meddlesome, and can
be a real jerk sometimes. Her latest thing? I am pregnant,
and I am expecting my first child in 11 weeks. This will also
be her first grandchild. Well, as soon as she found out that
I was pregnant, she told my DH that she hoped that I understood
that this meant that I could no longer drink and smoke. This
woman knows that we have been trying to have this baby for 6-7 years.
Does she honestly believe that, after all the pain and anguish of
trying to have this precious baby, that I would screw it all to
he!! by drinking, smoking, and endangering his health? Plus,
she calls me all the time to make sure that I am going to my doctor.
I have health insurance, thank you, and I want my son and myself
to be healthy. Why wouldn't I go to the doctor? She
acts as if I am a moron and know nothing about having a baby, just
because it is my first. She is the one, mind you, who was
feeding her barely 9 month old adopted daughter spicy cheese snacks
and soda pop. But I'm the idiot? I have had it with
her nosey @ss, and want nothing more than to be left alone.
Of course, my moron DH just keeps saying that it's only because
she cares. I don't want to imagine how she is going to act
once my son is here. She'll tell me that I'm holding him too
much, not feeding him enough, blah, blah. I don't care what
the repercussions will be. If she says one word to me, I swear
I will tell her to go blow.
Signed - Getting To The
End Of My Rope
RESPONSE: Getting To The End Of My Rope
You go girl. Make sure that she knows who the MOM is from day one!
RESPONSE: Getting To The End Of My Rope
She has every right to make such a statement. After all, if you
were that concerned about the baby's health, you would have stopped
smoking and drinking while trying to conceive.
RESPONSE: Getting To The End Of My Rope
Your MIL sounds nosey and condescending, but there is A LOT that
you can do about it. First off, CALM down and do not allow this
person to upset you. You know that her comments are stupid, so
do not let them have an effect on you. Secondly, you have to learn
to simply ignore her. When she tells you that you are doing something
wrong, DON'T RESPOND. Thirdly, If she gets argumentative, tell
her that her stressful attitude is not good for the baby, and ask
her to leave. Period.
RESPONSE: Getting To The End Of My Rope
You need to do something about her behavior now, because you are
right when you say that she is going to get worse - much, much worse.
Find a time when you are calm, and sit down with her, maybe in a
public place, and tell her that, while you understand that she is
excited about the baby, it is your baby, and you are well aware
of what to do and what not to do regarding the health of your child.
Tell her that, from now on, you will let her know anything "important",
but apart from that you need space to prepare for the birth of your
child. You will probably hurt her feelings, but I've learned the
hard way that it is more important to take care of yourself. You
are the mother of this child. Also, explain, calmly, to your husband
what you plan to do, and that you would like his support, but you
are going to go ahead and do it - with or without him. Good luck.
RESPONSE: Getting To The End Of My Rope
I have a SIL who thinks that she is the best mom in the world.
She has done time for child abuse, and she smoked while pregnant.
She lives in a house which can only be described as a pig sty.
When I was at her house, the only place that I could change my DS's
diaper was on some newspaper. There was no other clean place to
change a soiled diaper. This "great mom" would question
why I held my son during feedings and why I bathed him once a day.
I would answer simply - to bond, to keep him clean. These answers
were too much for her to handle.
RESPONSE: Getting To The End Of My Rope
Whoa, lady. Hopefully, those are just pregnancy hormones that are
making you sound like that. I understand how annoying meddlesome
MILs can be, but this one just sounds concerned and mildly irritating,
at best, with her excessive concern. Also, I can imagine why she
might be worried about your smoking and drinking if you've been
doing so *while* trying to get pregnant. You might not be a "moron",
but it's pretty well-accepted scientific fact that women who are
trying to get pregnant should neither smoke nor drink. Not only
does it hurt the child (in those few weeks before you know you're
pregnant when you presumably stop), but it can hurt your chances
of conceiving. Maybe you shouldn't be so hostile to her attempts
to help? And, what's with calling your DH a moron? Honestly, if
you were a friend of mine, I think I'd be hiding out from you right
now!
RESPONSE: Getting To The End Of My Rope
So, tell her that. Then, if your DH won't speak up for you, you
are going to have to do it yourself. My DH was the same way. He
would not stand up to his mother, so I did. As a result, I no longer
see her. DH and I are still together after all that we have been
through. He takes our children to see her once a week on a Sunday.
That is the only time that she sees them. She would like to see
more of them, but since DH works full time through the week, he
is only able to take them at the weekend. She has made her bed.
As far as I'm concerned, she can lie on it.
RESPONSE: Getting To The End Of My Rope
You are ready to lose your temper with her, and I don't blame you.
But, since you know that this is coming, you and your DH have time
to come up with some calm responses ahead of time. Be ready when
she tells either of you what to do. "Our doctor advised that
we ----, so, that is what we are doing." "We have decided
to do ---. Thanks for your advice, but we've already talked about
this and the way that we are doing it." Say it calmly and
with a smile. You may have to repeat, but you will be letting her
know that it is not up for discussion.
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Working Women Don't Have Wives