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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
August 5, 2004
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AUGUST
2004
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After reading all these stories
I was inspired to write my own story about my DH's GMIL.
My Granny! She is one of the most awful people whom I've
ever known. Growing up, I would hear stories that my mom
would tell about her (this was her xMIL). To start off,
my mom's honeymoon was spent in her IL's backyard in a camper,
with her coming out every morning to wake them for breakfast (at
6am!!). She wasn't very loved when she was growing up, so
she never learned how to love back very well. Although they
stressed the fact that they loved me dearly, they had a funny
way to show it. I remember one time when I was wearing a
blouse that my other DGM had made for me. I was so proud
to wear it and show it off that I had my mom help me put it on
before going to the IL. My parents had separated, so this
was a custody visit. When I got there, my GM said that I
looked pregnant, and made me change my clothes (I was about 6
years old!!). For 18 years they dragged my mom to court
about every other year for visitation rights on behalf of my father.
There was nothing to win or lose in this situation, because my
mom never refused them visitation, all she asked for was a call
ahead of time so that she could pack me a bag. Well, the
phone never rang, except when a lawyer called to tell my mom that
she had to go to court again. The grandparents constantly
told me that they called, but my mom would hang up on them.
They said that they sent me cards and money, etc. It wasn't
until after experiencing my own episodes with them that I realized
that what my mom was telling me (as opposed to what they were
telling me) was right. I just had to find out for myself.
Skipping some of the worst things, we'll jump to when I introduced
them to my then FDH. Usually, they treated him great, except
when they forgot his name. They have called him everything
but his real name every time we see them. UGH. After
many incidences over the past few years, we cut ties with my father's
entire family (my father is a different story altogether).
I wrote to my grandparents wanting family history, because we
were thinking about having kids and such. Well, they wrote
me back, finally, about 2 years later, and brought up all this
stuff from the past. They blamed me for treating them so
poorly, and for not including them in our lives. Truthfully,
we included them in everything, sent them cards on birthdays and
holidays, etc. They said that we were horrible because we
never went to visit my GF when he was in the hospital. Don't
you think that someone should've called us to tell us that he
was in the hospital so that we could have gone to visit??
So it's our fault that we don't have ESP! But, they never
called us when we were in a car accident (and they knew about
that). My poor DH, I feel sorry for him having to be a part
of that family, "what ever his name may be".
Signed - My DH's Horrible
IL
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5 |
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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Worst gift: The year
that my BIL, the favorite son, divorced his wife, my MIL gave me
a homemade picture album that had been made by my ex-SIL early in
my BIL's marriage. It had been given to my MIL by SIL. The pages
of the photos were yellowed from age, and the material used to cover
the book was WAY out of date. It was the only gift that I got from
them that year.
Signed - Firesong
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
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It all started when my
FIL passed away (the ILs were divorced and hated each other).
My BIL hadn't paid us his part of the funeral bill in over 2 years,
so we decided to take him to court. Out of respect, my DH
called his mother to tell her (he didn't want her to read it in
paper). That's when things really went bad. Due to the
fact that we are unable to have children, we are going to have to
adopt. She has not even acted interested in the process or
where we are at in it. MIL recently moved about 1 1/2 hours
away (used to be 8 miles). She never calls DH, but goes past
our house to see the "good" son. In February, DH
had to be put in hospital due to illness. On my way to hospital,
I called from a cell phone to let her know what happened and where
they were transferring him to. She said that I should call
back once I heard something. I called back and MIL and SIL
were asleep. They didn't even act concerned. The following
day, MIL and "good" BIL came to see DH. I needed
to make a phone call to work (we were 2 hours away from home).
I excused myself and went outside. By the time I got back,
they were gone. We never heard anything from MIL for 4 months.
Finally, she e-mailed DH (all in capital letters) and said that
she didn't know what could have happened, as they used to be so
close. DH called her to ask why she wrote what she did, and
to tell MIL that it made me feel like she was blaming me.
Her excuse was that she felt unwelcome, because I left to make a
phone call, and all DH did was lay there and fall in and out of
sleep (DH had blood clots in both lungs). There have been
other incidents, but 10 years worth of MIL, BIL, and SILs would
take forever. I just don't want to have DH regret not being
around her if something happens to her or she gets sick. She's
not that young anymore.
Signed - Frustrated
RESPONSE: Frustrated
How your DH feels about his mother isn't your responsibility. Their
relationship is their responsibility, and it seems like your MIL
is doing all that she can to destroy it. Your DH is going to feel
sadness and regret over what might have been, and over how he's
been treated. There's no getting around it, because she's treating
him like cr@p. The only thing that you can do is to be there to
support him, and help him realize that it's not his fault that she's
a bad mom.
RESPONSE: Frustrated
These sound like terrible things that your ILs have done, but I
can't help wondering - have you ever taken the high road and tried,
yourself, to foster a good relationship with them? I was completely
on your side until you mentioned that MIL told your DH that she
doesn't feel welcome by you. It was then that I noticed that you
never gave examples of trying to get along with these people. Is
it possible that perhaps you may have contributed to the poor relationship
between you? Just wondering. Also, though I can understand your
frustration at BIL's failure to pay you back money that he said
he'd pay you, still, I can't imagine either DH or me actually taking
steps to sue his brother for failure to pay part of their father's
funeral bill. Your poor FIL must have rolled in his grave to think
that his sons would wind up fighting in court over the money spent
to bury him. Unless, of course, that money was crucial to keeping
a roof over your head or food on your table, some losses are not
worth fighting over. You just take the lump and learn your lesson
not to ever again trust that person to pay back a debt.
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Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
and responses received will be posted as early as our resources will
allow. Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then
posted, all at once, to the original story page at a later date (generally,
one set of responses will be posted per day).
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Working Women Don't Have Wives