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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
August 10, 2004
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AUGUST
2004
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Recently, my DH of 10 years was
deployed to Iraq for a year. Well, for a "coming home"
gift, I got a tattoo in the small of my back that says his name
and has a few feminine flowers around it. I was visiting
my MIL one day, right before my DH was scheduled to come home.
She happened to have some friends over that night. I bent
over and she saw my tattoo. She said to everybody in the
room, "Hey ya'll look at this! Someone once told me
that nothing says trash like a woman with a tattoo!"
Can you believe that???!!!! I was in shock! This woman
has 4 kids by 4 different men, and she was only married to 2 of
them. And, she had the nerve to say this to me! I
have 2 kids by her son, and he's my only marriage. This
woman is always slurring me!
Signed - MIL's Dartboard!
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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Frequent
Fry Her TM.
- pro-zac 1 of 4 /Posted: 10-AUG-04
I have 3 MILs (MIL, her sister, and her mother).
They are like one unit. If the phone is ringing, it's one of those
3 to lecture, criticize, and/or be nosy. Sometimes, they are all
on the phone at the same time. When I met my DH, he had just gotten
out of the Marines, and had a 4 year old son whom he barely knew
due to overseas deployments. His wife had left him, and MIL was
primarily raising the child, due to the fact DH's ex was out partying.
When I was introduced to my MIL, the "unit" was hovered
over this 4 year old. He was seated in a highchair, and they were
all taking turns spoon feeding him??? They weighed him on a daily
basis, examined his bowel movements, and only spoke about him and
his poor, awful, abusive mother. They were obsessed with him, and
still are. My stepson is now going on 13 and lives with us full-time.
The "unit" initially sat me down to tell me every detail
of this child's life and the horror stories of his mother (DH's
ex). I have to admit, I saw the "unit's" dysfunction,
but was sucked in by their concerns and worries. They portrayed
the ex as a monster. I also knew their overcompensating, with the
attention on this child, was handicapping him, too. I would sit
back in shock as I watched the "unit" bombard my FDH into
a corner with orders, criticisms, and more orders. They would go
as far as to say, "Go tell your son you love him. Go on."
DH would turn into a robot as they all followed him into the room
where the child was playing, and DH would "perform" as
they had insisted. Then, they would march DH into the kitchen to
critique his execution, and to advise how it could have been better
("more affection, kneel on the child's level, stroke his hair,
etc."). I became sick with the man my DH would become - so
passive, weak, spineless, etc. Needless to say, as soon as we were
alone, I started doing what the "unit" was doing. I ordered
DH around, only I ordered him to stand up to the "unit",
and get his son away from them. I wanted to empower DH that this
was "his" son. But, I was too late. The "unit"
convinced him that he was inadequate and incompetent. At this point
in my life, I was confident and secure. I spoke my mind, stood
up for what I believed in; I was a dreamer, successful, etc. It
is now 6 or 7 years later. Keep reading my stories and I will fill
in the blanks, to your amazement, as to what has transpired to this
point in time. It's filled with court rooms, psychiatrists, lie
detectors, violence, insanity, etc.
Signed - Just The Beginning.
Story 1.
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
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MIL had the nerve to tell
me that she doesn't see her DS as a 33 year old. She said,
"My boys have not gone past 20." OKAY. We
have been married for 10 years, and have a 7 year old. She
just said to me that she doesn't recognize our marriage and three
kids. I know that she feels that her DS has not grown-up,
because at her house his room has not changed since he was 15.
YIKES. I feel like I am in my DH's own shrine. I feel
like she can't cut the cord, and tries to tell me what to do, how
to raise my kids, and how to cutup cabbage. She hates it when
my DH confides in me and talks to me about things. She wants
to know what he has told me, and how much. Once he called
her on her birthday and left a message on her machine. He
was out of town, and called me later that evening. She called
me and asked if I had heard from my DH today. Of course, I
said, "NO." She said, " He called me and wished
me a happy birthday today." I was pissed. When
my DH called me, I went off and told him what a cr@ppy mother he
had. He didn't disagree. She then had the nerve to call
me the next day and ask if he had called me as well. I said,
"Yes, he said that he wanted to call me when he had more time
to talk. I am glad that he did, because we got to talk for
an hour or so." MIL=SILENCE. Score one for me.
Signed - Me-1, MIL-0
RESPONSE: Me-1, MIL-0
Way to go! The only thing that passive/aggressive MILs understand
is passive/aggressive behavior. Good for you for giving MIL a taste
of her own medicine. Continue to stand up to her, and I bet she
will back down. Never let MIL forget that YOU are #1 in DH's life.
DH needs to make that point clear with his mom, as well.
RESPONSE: Me-1, MIL-0
I feel sorry for your DH. My goodness - his wife and mother arguing
over who he called and when! Why don't YOU start treating him like
a 33 year old, and maybe act your own age.
RESPONSE: Me-1, MIL-0
I sympathize utterly with you regarding your MIL not being able
to regard her son as an adult. It was when my DH was 33 that I
referred to him as a man, and MIL said to me, "Oh, I don't
think of DS as a man!" He had a wife, a house, a mortgage,
a job that paid well - sounds like a grownup to me.
RESPONSE: Me-1, MIL-0
You do realize that she doesn't really love her son, I hope. She's
just using him to fill some emotional void in herself. I know,
because I have a teenaged son whom I love dearly. I want him to
have a happy marriage with a woman who will be his soul mate, someone
who will feel to him like the other half of himself. Because I
love him, I can't imagine cheating him of that, no matter how much
I'll miss being the most important female in his life. You may
print out my words and show them to your DH or his MIL if you like.
They need to see what real motherly love is like, because they apparently
have got it all mixed up with something petty and possessive.
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Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
and responses received will be posted as early as our resources will
allow. Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then
posted, all at once, to the original story page at a later date (generally,
one set of responses will be posted per day).
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Working Women Don't Have Wives