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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
August 12, 2004
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AUGUST
2004
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- sonotthedrama /Posted: 12-AUG-04
We borrowed money from MIL (big mistake, I know)
for a car. The money came from her 401k, and payments are
taken out of her check. When we first started the loan,
MIL was getting paid on the 1st and 15th of each month, and the
payments were $91 each check. We have never missed a payment.
Then, MIL switched to getting paid every other Friday. We
adjusted our payment times to correlate to her paychecks (if we
gave her the money too early, she blew it, so she wanted us to
give it to her exactly on payday - no problem). So, we continued
to pay $91 every other Friday. This meant that in the month
of July we had to give her 3 payments - no problem, we owe her
the money. But, the other day she asked me to go into her
drawer for something, and there was her pay stub. Since
she was switched from being paid twice a month to every other
Friday, her payments for the loan have gone down to $77 each paycheck.
So, for months now we have been giving her $91, when the actual
payment was only $77. Now, you're saying that $13 isn't
a big deal, right? But, the interest is still being accrued
on the loan. By the time we are done paying the loan with
our $91 payments, she will still have to pay, since she was only
making $77 payments. See what I mean? With the $13
difference in payments and the interest, she will still have money
coming out of her check after we have finished repaying the loan.
So, when the time comes, when we have repaid her the loan plus
interest and she still has to make payments because of her little
$13 scam on us, do you think she's going to calmly acknowledge
that we paid our debt, or is she going to insist that we keep
paying? I'm betting on that we'll have to keep paying.
Oh, and it's not like we begged her for the money, she offered
it and set it all up herself. Of course we took her up on
it, but we never twisted her arm. Oh, and with each paycheck
I have to hear about the loan, "Oh, my check used to be over
$1000, and now it's only $900. Boo hoo!" Well,
we're giving her our payment on the same day that she gets paid,
so what's the difference? She's actually getting $13 more
than she would have!!! But, MIL has to be a martyr.
I'm going to try to find a program that will tell me when the
loan will be paid off, with interest, from our $91 payments, and
give her a print out so that she knows when we will stop paying.
Signed - Not Paying
Any More Than I Have To!
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1 |
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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Worst gift: I am 7 years
older than my DH. For Christmas, my MIL gave me a "free gift
with purchase" box of anti-aging creams from a local cosmetic
counter.
Signed - Anti-Aging Cream
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
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I am just so fed up with
my MIL!! DH and I have been married about a year, and we have
a 2 year old son, whose life she is, basically, trying to take over.
She is divorced. She, basically, has no man in her life, so
she treats my DH like he should be there for her every beck and
call. The worst part is that we live with her!!!! DH
and I are in our early twenties, and he is finishing school.
We plan to get a house this fall. MIL is retired, and begged
us to move in to her house so that we could take care of her pets
while she "travels", and so that we could save some money.
That was the worst mistake, ever!!!! Anytime DH and I go out
to eat, take our son to the zoo, or anytime we go anywhere or do
ANYTHING, she mutters under her breath, "Kiss my ass!",
because we didn't invite her. We are afraid to let her find
out where we go, because she collapses on her couch and acts like
a complete martyr. She has this distorted view that we should
all be "one big happy family", and that we all should
raise my son TOGETHER. Literally, my DH and I cannot even
function like this. She has accused me of driving a wedge
between herself and her son, and she puts us down to all of the
other family members. We overhear her on the phone.
It really stresses me out, because we are newlyweds, and I dread
going to any family functions now, because who knows what MIL has
been saying about us (like I said, we hear her badmouthing us on
the phone a lot). We don't get ANY privacy: She goes
through our hamper (to do our laundry, even though we have told
her not to a million times), opens our mail, and tries to come down
and talk when DH and I are arguing. It goes on and on.
She never refers to me as her son's "wife", and she never
even got us a wedding gift. I have overheard her calling me
names and saying that she despises me, even though I am always polite
to her. She has said that the only reason she tolerates me
is to have access to her grandchild. She keeps saying that
we take her for granted, just because we want to have our own life,
and we don't include he in every single thing we do. I think
that she has serious issues letting her son go, but she doesn't
realize that she is causing me such severe stress and anxiety.
I don't know what to do. DH and I can't move out until fall,
and I don't know how I'll survive until then!!!!! Help!!
Signed - Needed to Vent!!!
RESPONSE: Needed to Vent!!!
You need to move out, NOW! No matter what the cost, even if you
have to be in debt for a while, get out of that house and get as
far away from MIL as you can.
RESPONSE: Needed to Vent!!!
Here is another prime example of why you should NEVER move in with
your in-laws. I'd rather go into debt and pay it back after I've
graduated from college than to let my MIL have that much to do with
my life. NEVER live with your in-laws!!!
RESPONSE: Needed to Vent!!!
I hope that you indeed move out this fall! Living with your parents
is tough, even when you get along. Until then, every time she annoys
you, just think that you will soon be on your own and you won't
have to put up with her!
RESPONSE: Needed to Vent!!!
Why can't you move out? Money? Then find a second job, or some
way to come up with more money. No place available? Look, there
might be a place that you can rent month to month. If you want
something badly enough, you can make it happen.
RESPONSE: Needed to Vent!!!
"The worst part is that we live with her!!!!" That is,
in fact, your only problem. Speed up the move, if at all possible.
Most of the other problems will go away at that point (or can be
more easily ignored).
RESPONSE: Needed to Vent!!!
Leave. Get out. Move. Find a way! If you don't leave, then you
can't complain.
RESPONSE: Needed to Vent!!!
Is there nowhere that you can go at all? Could you not rent a place
somewhere, until you can afford somewhere better? You need to get
away from this meddling witch, right now. I read a lot of stories
about DILs living with their MILs. I would never have married DH
if we did not have a home of our own. Good luck.
RESPONSE: Needed to Vent!!!
Nobody in that house seems to be thinking of the little boy. Why
don't you at least start to do that so that at least the amount
of strife around him will be diminished? To keep the peace, invite
ol' GM to the zoo. Don't give her a reason to complain. I agree,
she is grotesque. Be the bigger person. Your child will benefit.
RESPONSE: Needed to Vent!!!
Moving out as soon as you can is definitely the way to go. In the
meantime, I suggest that you get a mailbox at the post office, or
one of the places that offer such services. Have all of your mail
sent there (by the way, opening your mail could land her in prison
for 20 years, if you cared to press charges). We lived with my
mother during our marriage, and she did go out with us quite a bit.
But, she never expected to do so, and she encouraged us to go out
without her. And, remember, when you do move, your DH and DS will
be moving with you (whatever you do, don't move close to her!),
and that will be the sweetest of all!
RESPONSE: Needed to Vent!!!
Get a PO Box and a lock box for everything that she shouldn't see.
Limit any favors that she does for you (laundry, cooking, baby-sitting,
etc.). Try to find a reliable baby-sitter (other than her), who
will baby-sit in their own home (NOT MIL's). But, don't tell her
that you're limiting her "favors". Just get it all done
before she can. Much to her dismay, you won't be as indebted to
her. Treat all of this as normal, and get DH on board. One of
the other problems with living with her seems to be that you're
both at her beck-n-call, regardless of what plans you have for your
own lives. Plan everything - even outings with her - two weeks
in advance. Set the tone that you are not accessible to her "whenever",
but that you would still like to spend time with her. Keep smiling
and saving. You'll be out of there soon!
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Working Women Don't Have Wives