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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
August 14, 2004
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AUGUST
2004
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When planning my wedding, MIL
asked me what kind of flowers I'd like to have. So, I told
her that I would like roses (pretty standard for weddings).
She told me that I couldn't have roses, because her daughter,
who got married 11 years ago, had them! Maybe I shouldn't
wear a white dress, either, since she probably wore one also!
Signed - No Roses
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1 |
5 |
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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Worst gift: My tacky,
MIL never even gave us a wedding gift. Oh, yes, and don't forget
that she cried like a baby all through our engagement party, and
through our wedding weekend. And, they weren't tears of joy. Get
a life, lady. Your son is my husband now, and you can't control
him anymore.
Signed - No Wedding
Gift
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
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Last year, my ILs came
to visit from another country, as they had not yet seen their grandson,
(my DS, who was four months old at the time). We paid for
the tickets. Soon after they came, DH's cousin bought a house.
So, it became a prestige issue for them, and they forced us into
buying one, too. So, we had moving and closing costs added
to our already strained budget. Then, my MIL fell ill and
did not tell us for almost one month. By the time she told
me, and I forced her to see a doctor, it had gone so far that they
said that she needed surgery. They had no insurance, so we
had to pay for the one visit from our own pockets, another $2000.
I am not complaining about all our expenses, but about her nature,
as you will read. She was really pissed off that my DH told
her that we could not afford to have the surgery done here in the
U.S. We decided to move up their return so that she could
consult with her doctor and have the surgery done at home.
I planned to go with them to help out (as they have distanced themselves
from all the relatives nearby and don't talk to any of them), but
my DH said that I could leave only after giving my son his 1 year
shots. Those were a month away. The day before she left,
she told me that she wished I was going along with them, as they
did not have anybody to carry their suitcases for them (I never
realized that I was their personal porter, who would I carry - the
baby or the luggage?). Never mind all that. My own family
had to travel back to our country ourselves, as we had to visit
some temples and make some offerings on behalf of my son.
So we had to get our tickets paid for. On top of that, there
would be a lot of expenses there, too. On the way to the airport,
when she thought that I was not listening, she asked my DH for $500,
just for pocket money!!! He, obviously, refused. After
they reached home, my FIL called and said that he had no money for
the surgery. SO, we ended up wiring the $500. A month
later, we were getting ready to leave. We had seats on the
world's worst airline, as they were the cheapest. We called
them up the day before we left, and she had the audacity to ask
what we were taking for her. After we reached there, we had
some work to do, and left my son in their care. We came back
a couple of hours later to find that he had pooped, and they had
not bothered to change his diaper!!! After all this, and after
seeing my DH tell me to cut all the shopping that I had to do from
my list because he could not afford it, she asked him for $1000.
She also told him not to tell me or FIL!!! Thankfully, I have
a DH who is not afraid to say NO to his selfish, greedy mom.
I want to have another baby, but my DH has requested my ILs to come
when I get pregnant. That is making me have serious 2nd thoughts!!!
Signed - Slave With A
Money Making Tree!
RESPONSE: Slave With A Money Making Tree!
First of all, no one can force or pressure you into buying a house.
You are the only person responsible for your behavior.
RESPONSE: Slave With A Money Making Tree!
I'd rethink the whole marriage, not just the second kid. Tell DH
that if his parents show up again, he can have them to his new place.
RESPONSE: Slave With A Money Making Tree!
Umm, I'm kind of at a loss for words here. Your DH knows when to
say "no"? I think not. The total of everything that
he's paid for, just in your post, is over 10K! And, I don't understand
why his parents need to come over when you're pregnant. Were they
there during the first pregnancy? There is a reason that their
other relatives have distanced themselves from your ILs. You BOTH
need to wake up and quit being their bank.
RESPONSE: Slave With A Money Making Tree!
You say that your DH can say no, but your ILs FORCED you to buy
a house that you couldn't afford!!!!??? What did they do, hold
a gun to your head? You are also paying for trips, both for them
and yourselves, that you say you can't really afford. Is this "a
prestige thing", like the house? Perhaps your ILs think that
you are better off than you actually are. Start living within your
means, and tell them that you can't afford to keep paying out for
these things, and perhaps they will change. I can't guarantee it,
though!
RESPONSE: Slave With A Money Making Tree!
You can only be used for money if you allow it. Put your foot down
with DH, and let it be known the buck stops here, now. As for the
month-long visits, cut those out, as well. I think that I know
which culture you come from, and I urge you to remember that you
are a human being, a wife, and a mother - all very good reasons
to stand up for yourself! DH needs to take care of you first and
foremost, and not let MIL drive you into debt with her begging of
money at every turn. Good luck.
RESPONSE: Slave With A Money Making Tree!
It sounds like your ILs have "Streets Paved with Gold"
syndrome. This is the idea that all people who live in another
country must be rich. I once told a foreign family, whom I met
while they were vacationing in the US, that I lived in Texas. They
immediately assumed that I had multiple oil wells and a ranch with
cattle, and that I rode horses every day, instead of driving a car.
That was funny. Since your DH is good at telling your ILs "NO",
I suggest that you practice it, too. Every time they make an inappropriate
comment (like the "no one to carry my luggage" one) tell
them something like, "Oh, then it's good that I am not coming
along, because that would mean that there would be 3 of us looking
for luggage porters!" Or just confront them, and say, "I
hope you aren't saying that I would carry your luggage, because
I cannot."
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Working Women Don't Have Wives