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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
August 19, 2004
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AUGUST
2004
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Frequent
Fry Her TM
- sonotthedrama /Posted: 19-AUG-04
So, I guess I am a naive fool. MIL went out
of town at the end of the week. She made a big deal about
how her plans had changed, and that she wouldn't be gone overnight.
Well, of course, she didn't come home until the next afternoon.
And, then it was only to pick up some clothes and head out the
door again. She didn't bother to tell me when she would
be back, so imagine my surprise when she showed up just 5 hours
later. Actually, she hadn't intended to come home that soon.
You see, she passed out at her BF's house, and when she woke up
and saw that it was sunset, she thought that it was sunrise!!
She thought that she had slept through the night. She figured
that I would be mad, since she never called, etc. As a peace
offering, she stopped and got some fast food. Yes, she got
in her car, went through a drive-thru window, and got all the
way home without ever realizing that it was SUNSET, not SUNRISE!!
She didn't clue in until she came into the house and I was telling
the kids they had to take a bath before bedtime! So, instead
of clueing in that maybe she should give the alcohol a rest, she
decided to get dressed up and go out again. As she was getting
ready, I ran out to my car to get my diaper bag. When I
came back in, she was gone, along with my 2 1/2 year old son.
At first I thought, "Oh, maybe they're throwing out the trash,"
or that she had just run to her car or something. But, as
the minutes went by, I started to become concerned. Finally,
after 1/2 hour she returned WITHOUT my son!! I asked her
where he had been, and she said that she had left him at the neighbor's
house. I do not know these people. From what MIL tells
me, they are swingers and alcoholics, and I have seen where the
man damaged his own door while in a drunken rage about his wife.
And she left my son there! I told her that she needed to
go get him, NOW! So, out she went. She brought him
back with an armload of dirty toys, and a bag of candy.
Now it was almost bed time. I didn't want him eating candy
that late at night. As for the toys - gross. So, while
I was dealing with him, MIL sneaked my 5yr old DD out of the house
and over to the neighbor's. MIL loves showing off how cute
my kids are. Then, MIL came back, and brought the neighbor
lady with her so that I couldn't talk to her about her taking
the kids over there without my permission. She said that
she and the neighbor lady were going to a bar. No problem
- I was already tired of her antics. She showed back up
at 12 midnight, woke both kids up when she came in, grabbed an
armload of clothes and said that she was going to go over to BF's
house. DS started fussing because he had just woken up.
MIL kept asking him, "Do you still love me? You still
love me, don't you?" Every time she went to the door,
he would cry louder because, of course, he wanted to get out of
bed. So, she kept coming back to our bed, "Oh, I can't
bear to leave him crying. You still love me, right?"
After I told her several times to just LEAVE, because he'd stop
crying as soon as she was gone, she finally left. She came
home the next afternoon, all hung over again. She got herself
made up again, and headed out with her famous last words, "I'll
only be gone a couple of hours. I'm going to play trivia."
Yeah. Well, her "couple of hours" means "spending
the whole day and night at the bar". Her BF owns the
bar, so they just stay there all night long. She, eventually,
came home at 8 am. She was sick, hung over, and weepy (mixing
anxiety medicine and alcohol is not a good idea), talking about
how she knew that she had been irresponsible all weekend, and
thanking me for taking care of grandma. She said that she
was trying to make everyone happy (hmm, very easy to make me happy
- stop lying about when you're coming home, and clean up after
yourself once in a while!). So, I sat and tried to talk
to her, giving her some advice on her BF, etc. Then, I had
to go run errands with the kids. Here comes my naiveté!
I figured that since she was feeling bad about sticking me with
grandma for the 4 days and for not spending time with me and the
kids, etc., maybe, just maybe, she would try to snap back into
her normal mode. Nope! I came home. She hadn't
tried to help with the dishes - she had just created new ones.
She hadn't taken out the trash, etc. She didn't lift a single
finger. I was gone for 7 hours. What had she done?
Showered and gone over to her BF's for a while, and then come
back and watched TV. At least she had made grandma dinner.
So, that little chat that we had went in one ear and out the other.
So much for being more responsible! Oh, but she told me
"thank you" several times. Whatever, I don't want
thanks, I want some help. I have 3 kids and grandma.
Would it kill her to take out the trash?! Oh, and I have
laundry to do today - hers and grandma's, as well as my own.
That's ok, though. She keeps making the big plans about
how she and her alcoholic BF are going to fly to Europe to visit
us. Pretty hard to visit when . . .
Signed - She Won't
Know Our New Address!!
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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Worst gift: My DH and
I were about to celebrate our first Christmas. I needed a new vacuum.
I was going to go get one. Nothing fancy. Right before going to
buy one, I was told not to buy one. DH's parents were going to
just give us their old one. Well, okay. I was puzzled, but whatever.
So, I got their old vacuum, which wasn't all that good. On Christmas
Eve, I found a new vacuum under the tree for me. Oh, joy. While
DH opened over $1000 of video games, systems, books and other such
things (toys), I stared at my vacuum and wanted to cry.
Signed - Ex MIL Is Psycho
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
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Oooh! I'm so glad
that I found this site!! MIL showed up unexpectedly from out
of state while my DH of 3 years and I were JUST arriving back from
traveling. My DH gets annoyed with her easily. So, he
left for the day (again, we weren't expecting her, so I had to scurry
around cleaning and changing linens, on what I thought were to be
my days off!). Dumb me felt obligated to stay with her.
She started at 9:00 a.m. REARRANGING MY FURNITURE. We had
just moved into our home, from an apartment, less than a year ago.
She made dozens of comments about which decor should be switched
around to look better, and how more color needed to be brought in.
She asked where the window treatments were, and said that she was
surprised that I hadn't done more. She asked what plans I
had with the bleak walls, etc. Then, she started pulling out
magazine articles, and pointing to what an ideal house should look
like (she has horrible taste, by the way - her house looks like
a rainbow circus). I told her to stop several times, as I
liked things the way they were - I like my own style. I was
so appalled! DH and I like our home and style!! We are
saving money to buy furniture (she doesn't understand this concept
because she has profited from 3 divorces and an inheritance).
By the time DH got home, she had rearranged our entire living room,
and had started on the dining room and study. He was unaware
of the prelude to this, and began helping her, as I had fled into
the bedroom. After a lamp and a candle holder were broken,
I almost lost it! I told her to go decorate her own TWO houses,
and said that DH was MY husband, and that we would enjoy the house
together, our way. My DH took her side. Again, he wasn't
here for the prelude. I ended up having to apologize to her
- in an effort to move on - and she said that she was entitled to
vocalize her opinions in my house. I have always held my tongue
before, and tried to "rein in" DH when I thought he spoke
(often) too harshly. Now, I know why he does!! She DOESN'T
listen, and does whatever she pleases, regardless of NO, NO, NO!
DH is the only child of hers who has married. So, there are
no empathizers in the family for me. Any advice? How
dare she! And, I'm hurt that he didn't understand the "decorating
~ woman thing".
Signed - Woman Thing
RESPONSE: Woman Thing
Stop causing problems for MIL and her son/husband. Get both of
them out of your life, and all three of you will be happier.
RESPONSE: Woman Thing
Yes, your MIL is a rude control freak, but your DH is worse. How
DARE he take his mother's side over yours.
RESPONSE: Woman Thing
DH sided with MIL in your own home??? I am sorry, that is unacceptable.
What a pain. If my MIL came and rearranged my furniture, I'd rearrange
her face.
RESPONSE: Woman Thing
Why on earth did you let MIL redecorate your home? And, why did
DH leave you to entertain MIL while he left? And, why did DH take
MIL's side over yours? I think you are a doormat, and you married
a momma's boy. If that's not a recipe for misery and disaster,
I don't know what is.
RESPONSE: Woman Thing
Your DH needs to grow a pair and stand up to mummy. How you decorate
and run your own home, which you have bought, is none of your MIL's
business. Period. She is not entitled to vocalize her opinions
in your home, tell her to butt out.
RESPONSE: Woman Thing
Tell your DH that next time she shows up, YOU will be the one to
leave the house, and he can entertain his mother. Also, remind
him that YOU are the one he has to live with, and therefore he might
want to ALWAYS take your side in front of her (like with any other
child). Also, promptly move all of your things back where they
belong (if she does this again) and start right before she is set
to leave your home. Or, better yet, rearrange a few items in her
house when you go for a visit! Good luck!
RESPONSE: Woman Thing
Point out that while he may not understand the "decorating
woman" thing, he'd understand "the men's tools" thing
REAL fast, wouldn't he?! And, he OUGHT to understand the "keep
the wife happy" thing just find and dandy! Keep reminding
him it's YOUR house, not hers, and she needs to keep her mitts off,
and that NOW you understand why he gets harsh with her, and you
will never ever stop him from doing so again.
RESPONSE: Woman Thing
Here is a piece of advice. Tell DH that regardless of the circumstances,
he should ALWAYS side with you. By putting up a unified front,
MIL will (hopefully) get the notion that if she starts with you,
she starts with her son as well. If nothing else, it should make
your relationship stronger. Good luck.
RESPONSE: Woman Thing
My first advice is - DON'T APOLOGIZE WHEN YOU ARE THE ONE DUE AN
APOLOGY. It's your home, not hers. And it shouldn't matter whether
your DH missed the prelude or not; if a man comes home and finds
his wife hiding in the bedroom, and his mother rearranging all the
furniture, he has to know something is wrong. Second - move all
your furniture back where it was, where YOU like it. The next time
she comes over and starts moving stuff, tell her no. If she moves
it anyway, move it right back where it was while she's moving the
next piece of furniture. She'll have to give up eventually - you're
younger than she is, stronger than she is, and you can outlast her
in this game. Third - are you and your DH on the same page regarding
his mother? If not, you need to explain to him exactly what she's
doing that is rude and intrusive, and let him know that you won't
tolerate it. And if he ever takes her side again, against you,
when she's rude to you in YOUR home, he can pack his bags and move
back in with his MOOOMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Let him know that, at
your home, there is only ONE "lady of the house", and
it's YOU.
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Working Women Don't Have Wives