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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
August 21, 2004
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AUGUST
2004
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My DF of 9 months and
I are perfect together. We almost never fight, except for
little bickers. We are soooooooo in love. He tells me
all the time that he loves me, and that he can't live without me.
So, I found out that his mother thinks that he could do better,
of course. I was offended when I found this out, but not surprised.
She is overly protective. But, then he came up the other day
and told me that maybe we should break it off because I "don't
appreciate" him, and because I "take advantage" of
him. He said that I ask him to visit (he lives an hour away
right now because of work) all the time, not because I want to see
him, but because I don't trust him. I was freaking out, crying,
and wondering where he got all his from. I finally figured
out that his mother has been in his ear for the past two months,
since they have been living together. Every time we have a
bicker, she's been telling him that I do all of these awful things
to him. WE finally worked it out, and decided that I wasn't
doing all of these things. He immediately got over it, and
then he went shopping with her all day the next day. Now,
I feel like my trust is hurt. I feel scared. I mean,
who listens that intently to an emotionally scarred freak like her,
anyway?
Signed - Scared Out Of
A Fairytale Romance
RESPONSE: Scared Out Of A Fairytale Romance
Who listens to her? The child of the emotionally scarred freak.
That is a tough habit to break.
RESPONSE: Scared Out Of A Fairytale Romance
RUN, do not walk away from this man and relationship. He will never
get out from under her influence. You will never be # 1 - she will!
Anyone who is that easily influenced away from someone who he is
perfect with is not worth the effort or heartache.
RESPONSE: Scared Out Of A Fairytale Romance
"I mean, who listens that intently to an emotionally scarred
freak like her, anyway?" Her baby boy, that's who! You would
be wise to reduce this guy's status in your life from DF to DB,
and get into couple's/premarital counseling. DO NOT MARRY THIS
MAN until you are confident that he'll put YOU first, in front of
his mom and family.
RESPONSE: Scared Out Of A Fairytale Romance
A fairytale romance? You're kidding, right? Or maybe you're 16
years old? Nothing I say will make any impact on you at this point,
I'm sure, but you are making a huge mistake by marrying this person.
You should be very scared.
RESPONSE: Scared Out Of A Fairytale Romance
Run now. He is a momma's boy. Not to sound mean, but if he was
going to break up with, you he will do it again after you are married,
have a kid, and things get stressed. He will run right to momma,
begging for help. RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN.
RESPONSE: Scared Out Of A Fairytale Romance
Fairytales aren't real. I have my doubts about this relationship
as well. The fact that he would confront you with his mother's
accusations, quickly agree with you that they are groundless, and
then go to see her the next day indicates that none of these attitudes
are actually his. He is avoiding conflict at all costs. His mother
is definitely a problem in your relationship. If you cannot convince
him that she is bad for him, then there is nothing here that is
salvageable.
RESPONSE: Scared Out Of A Fairytale Romance
Who listens to a freak like her? Your BF, that's who. Remember,
the one who loves less in a relationship is the one with the power.
You say that you and your BF are soooooo in love. Well, this love
sounds a little one-sided to me.
RESPONSE: Scared Out Of A Fairytale Romance
Do you really want to marry a man who listens to and believes his
mother's lies? Keep asking yourself that before you walk down the
aisle. And, no, marriage will not make it better, it will only
make it worse. Fix it now before you get married.
RESPONSE: Scared Out Of A Fairytale Romance
I wish you and your DF the best of luck, but my gut response after
seeing these types of situations in the past is that you should
RUN!!! If he is treating you this way at 9 months, and can be so
easily manipulated by his mother, the situation is bound to get
worse, not better. Once the blush is off the rose, he is more likely
to nit pick at you. Plus, even if the two of you work things out,
imagine what every holiday, family event, and so forth will be like.
Now put kids into the mix. You are asking for years of chaos.
If, for some reason, you think that you can handle all this, consider
getting as close to your FMIL as possible - sort of holding your
friends close, but your enemies closer. If you can make her feel
like you're wonderful and on her side, rather than stealing her
baby boy away, you may be able to keep her from destroying your
relationship. Just think about whether you want to marry a mommy's-boy
(how old is he and still living with her?!?), or if you want to
find a grown adult who has a healthy relationship with his mother.
Good luck!
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Well, I'm not married, but I have
a boyfriend, and we've been dating for almost two years.
We have an awesome relationship, and I love him very much.
But, his family is nuts, especially that schitzo of a mom.
I have a terrible temper, and lord knows I have struggled to bite
my tongue and respect that woman, despite the fact that she is
such a b!tch to me. This is what has gone down so far.
1) BF took another girl to winter formal a while ago, when
we were in high school. Of course, I was furious about it,
and was trying to get over it. The day after the dance,
I was at their house and my BF's mom insisted on bringing up the
winter formal, when she knew that I was sooo mad about it.
She talked about how it wasn't a big deal, and that I needed to
get over it. She even commented on how wonderful his date
looked, and all this other cr@p that, for my sanity, I have decided
to forget. 2) Sometimes my BF's cell gets no reception,
so I have no choice but to call his house. Every time I
call and she answers, she says that she is "on the phone",
and won't let me talk to him. Even better, when I call,
she gives that annoyed sigh and says, "What is it now?"
or, "What do you want?" But, when a friend calls
for him and she's on the other line, she immediately ends her
conversation and gives my BF the phone. If my BF is on the
phone, it's ok. But, as soon as she finds out that it's
me on the other line, she either needs the phone or needs to talk
to him about a serious issue, immediately. 3) If my
BF and I are arguing and trying to work things out, she makes
it her business to get involved. She always assumes that
I am pissing her son off, and she starts yelling in the background,
saying rude things about me, because it's always my fault (her
son is perfect, since she raised him, right?). Um, no, he
has his faults, believe me! 4) When BF and I are out,
he has Cinderella's curfew. He has to be at home by midnight,
or else!!! One time, he literally came home 3 minutes late,
and she threw herself on the floor, crying, and saying that her
son is inconsiderate and does not love her. No freaking
joke! Yet, when he is out with his friends, he comes home
at all hours of the morning without a hassle. 5) She
feels that she has the right to judge and comment on anything.
One time, we were talking contacts (his mom and I both wear contacts)
she went on and on about how my brand of contacts were cr@p, and
how I needed to change them. Another time, my ring tone
on my phone was not to her liking, and she labeled it "obnoxious".
That went on and on forever, too. Another time, we were
watching a famous, but violent movie, and she came into the house
yelling, "Why are you watching that movie??? That's
a bad movie???" She said that I was a bad influence
on her son for letting him watch that movie. Ummm.
OK 6) She babies my BF like no other!!!!!!!!
She insists on doing his laundry and getting involved in every
single aspect of his life!! She must be involved in everything
that he does, and it can be her and ONLY her who is involved.
One time, my BF and I were eating lunch, and she showed up at
the cafe to tell him that he had an appointment with his English
teacher on campus. We drove off together to go to his appointment.
I told him that he didn't have to drop me off at home, since it
was out of the way and I was OK with him going straight to school,
if he wanted to. She saw us drive off together. She
called MY cell phone and asked to speak with him. She called
to say, "Why does she have to go with you??????" and
all of this other cr@p that I could hear perfectly. She
kept calling my cell phone during my BF's meeting. Another
time, we were going to a baseball game, and some road work was
to take place on my BF's street the next day. No big deal,
right? Any adult could figure out that they had to use another
street. But, no, she insisted on devising a game plan for
her son as to how he would get to school, and blah, blah, blah.
This lasted for the whole ride to the city (40 minutes).
I wanted to jump out of the car. 7) BF and his mom
were having a talk about our relationship. He told her how
much he loved me, how much he cared for me, and all this other
sweet stuff, to which she responded, "Don't get too attached.
You have many GFs to come. She is the first of many".
8) She called my dad to tell him that I was rude to her
son, and that all I did was constantly insult him. She said
that I was ruining her son's life. 9) She calls all
the time when we are out together, and she insists on keeping
him on the phone. She will say ANYTHING that she can to
keep him on the phone, like telling him every single chore that
he has to do tomorrow morning - on a Friday night at 11.
10) If my BF's family is having a gathering and he invites
me, she will make him wash the dishes or go to the market, etc.,
anything to keep him away from me. 11) One time, our
thighs were touching (and nothing else) and she flipped out, saying
that we were sitting too close together. 12) When
the whole Janet Jackson Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction thing
went down, I missed it because I was looking at my BF. She
asked if I saw it and I said, "No, I was looking at BF."
She said, "Why? Don't you see him enough?"
13) One time, I was at his house, kind of late. But,
it was not very late. She told me, "Don't your parents
care about you? Do they allow you to stay out this late?"
I wanted to strangle her. 14) One time, I was telling
her about my grandpa (who died) and how he had remarried and had
kids. I told her that my half-aunts and uncles were younger
than I am, and that their mom is sick and my family has to help
take care of them. It's a kind of a sad situation that these
kids lost their dad, I lost my grandpa, and their mom is sick.
She started laughing, because she thought that it was funny that
my half-aunt and uncles are younger than I am. And, that's
all she did. 15) When my BF and I are on the phone
late, she comes in and tells him that it is bedtime, and that
he needs to get off the phone right away. 16) If something
doesn't go her way with my BF, she throws a fit. This happens,
for example, when he won't get off the phone or listen to her,
especially when it's something that involves me. She starts
yelling, even if it's late at night, and she wakes up her DH.
Then, they start fighting, and she says that she wants a divorce,
because she is mad at my BF. Go figure. 17)
She worries that my BF and I fight and argue too much, which is
usually a result of her meddling. So, her way of showing
care and concern for him is to try to force him to break up with
me, and to tell him what to do. When he doesn't, she won't
talk to him the next day, and she gets his younger brother involved.
She has him yell at my BF. There is so much more, but, like
I said, for my sanity and well being, I decide to ignore that
psycho woman.
Signed - Too Young
To Deal With A Crazy, Overly Protective Mom
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
and responses received will be posted as early as our resources will
allow. Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then
posted, all at once, to the original story page at a later date (generally,
one set of responses will be posted per day).
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Working Women Don't Have Wives