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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
August 24, 2004
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AUGUST
2004
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I have a story about MIL and SIL.
My problem started back when DH and I were engaged. We were
married about 4 years ago. DH is 4 years younger than SIL,
and I'm 11 years younger than SIL. I guess she couldn't
handle the thought of us getting married before her. She
broke her back making her then BF propose to her in a few months
before our wedding. She promised and swore up and down that
she was not getting an emerald cut diamond like mine. Well,
that's what she got - an emerald cut. It looks VERY "similar"
to mine. She was present when I chose my gown, and I wasn't
present when she chose hers. Now I see why. Her gown
looked JUST like mine. It was tulle with a corset bodice.
Ughhh!!! We got the same tiara and bouquet, toooooo!!!
She even asked where I was getting my invitations made, and then
she got the same style that I was picking out, so I ended up picking
different invitations altogether. I didn't find out all
of this until the day of her wedding. By then, it was too
late to say anything, because it was over and done with.
Hindsight is that I told MIL about my choices, or showed them
to her. Of course, MIL relayed to SIL all the things that
I had chosen {{{steam}}} Now, she is divorced from her DH
from that marriage. She bankrupted him with her illegal
drug use. He's abused drugs himself. She's embezzled
money from FIL's business for her habit. She lied about
anything and everything. MIL calls me ALL the TIME to complain
about SIL. So, I know about everything that she does.
I don't like to be near her. I get all tensed up when I
am. She's a totally fake, self-centered, immature know-it-all.
She loves pity and attention. She's middle aged, and has
NEVER worked. Mom and dad give her a paycheck from the company
every week for doing NOTHING. Her current BF doesn't make
enough money for the two of them. So, she talked FIL into
giving her BF a job at the company. You'll think this is
funny. Her BF gave his 2 weeks notice at his current job
before FIL talked to him about the job, or when he could start.
Now, they are moving into MIL's and FIL's house until they save
enough money for a house -- more like until they are given money
for a house. The really bad part is that MIL has Sunday
dinners there almost every week. Ughhhh. I don't want
to come if they live there. I'll have to start writing down
excuses so that I don't use 2 in a row. Hee, hee, hee.
Okay, here's the topping on the cake!!! I made the mistake
of talking to MIL a few months ago about how DH and I are planning
to get pregnant. We planned on July so that we would have
a spring baby in 2005. We were lucky, and I'm pregnant!!!
We are sooo excited, and are grateful that we had no problems
conceiving. The baby will be due next spring. I called
SIL to announce the pregnancy last night. At first, she
was surprised, and she congratulated us. Then, she said,
"I might be pregnant too! I'm going to the doctor tomorrow."
Omigod!!!! I couldn't believe my ears. So, the mistake
was telling MIL that we were even planning, because now SIL is
going to break her back trying to get pregnant. Ughh!
She then said, "If I find out I'm not pregnant, I'll talk
to the doctor about going on fertility treatment right away because,
you know, with my age it might best. Also, it might be better
for me to be married before we have the baby." What
the?? She and BF are engaged, but she has no ring?
They planned on getting married in the spring of next year.
My beef with MIL is that she tells SIL EVERYTHING that I say to
her, even secrets that I tell her to keep quiet. It really
bugs me. If I wanted SIL to know, I'd tell her myself.
I know that DILs are not like the real daughters, but can't the
woman keep her mouth shut and give me a little respect??!!
Okay, this is my last lesson. I will try to hold my tongue
and not tell MIL much. Is it possible? I love my MIL,
and she is dear to my heart. It's just that some aspects
of her drive me crazy. I wouldn't feel bad to say that I
hate my SIL. I mainly hate everything about her. I have
avoided her as much as I possibly can. I've only talked
to her on the phone twice this year. I was so happy that
she moved in with her BF, who lives 3 hours away. Next month,
they're moving into MIL and FIL's house, which is 15 minutes away.
Oh my heavens!! I might have to go see a therapist next
month!!!
Signed - Feeling Anguished
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5 |
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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This is the story of
my parents, who are my DH's ILs - two of the worst people in this
world. They can't stand to see me happy and successful, and they
have done everything in their power to make sure that I don't achieve
these things. Until recently, I couldn't see it for myself. These
people were actively involved in the demise of my first 2 marriages.
I was so blind. They both tried a third time to ruin yet another
marriage, but this time it did not work. DH stood like a rock against
these 2 evil ones. He patiently talked and listened for many years
until my eyes were opened. My parents were so emotionally abusive
(telling me that I was too unattractive not to wear makeup, and
that my father never wanted me, etc.), spiritually abusive (telling
me that God did not exist and I believed in nothing) and physically
abusive (starvation diets). My head was like a soup sandwich when
they got done. I thought that what they did through the years was
okay because they did not swear, yell, or hit with fists. My DH
is a wonderful man. I am so very blessed to have him.
Signed - Wide Awake
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
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I did not have any problems
with my MIL until about 6 months before the wedding. My BIL
started dating a girl who used to be my best friend (it turns out
that she is a liar and a b!tch) and the whole family turned on me.
This new GF told my MIL many mean lies about me, and now I can't
get along with any of them, no matter how hard I try. I have
tried "killing them with kindness", but that doesn't work.
My MIL, SIL, BIL and his girlfriend all hear only what they want
to hear. It is useless. I hate to do it to my DH, but
I am about to cut off all contact with this family (except for maybe
my FIL, who is pretty great - how he married into this family is
beyond me). Any suggestions as to how to handle this?!?
Signed - At My Wit's
End
RESPONSE: At My Wit's End
So cut them out of your life. I did, I never see my MIL at all.
I never talk to her and cut her dead if I see her at the local supermarket.
She only lives on the next estate to us. I no longer see my SIL,
either. She butted into something that was none of her business.
So, I decided to cut these toxic people out of my life.
RESPONSE: At My Wit's End
Unfortunately, miserable people love to gossip, and they are willing
to believe lies so that they can continue to gossip! I would say
you should stop trying to be liked, and just be yourself. If they
don't like you, it's their misfortune. Limit the time you spend
with them. And, when you are together, rise above their nastiness
and ignore them.
RESPONSE: At My Wit's End
Keep doing what you are doing. You can't make them like you, and
if they choose to believe SIL's lies over you, then it's their loss.
Stay away from toxic people.
RESPONSE: At My Wit's End
If your ILs are stupid enough to believe what they hear (from SIL)
as opposed to what they see and have seen (from you), why do you
want them in your life? Ditch the lot.
RESPONSE: At My Wit's End
Go ahead and cut them off. You've done your best to combat the
lies told about you, and now it is time to protect yourself. You'll
be amazed at how wonderful no contact feels.
RESPONSE: At My Wit's End
I think that what you're going to do is right. As far as I can
tell, you have done nothing wrong to this family, and your "best
friend" was the one who ruined everything. You have tried
to talk to them nicely about it, and they still wouldn't listen.
Unless you feel that talking to them again, or getting your DH to
talk to them about this would help, I believe that cutting all ties
with them is best. Make sure that you talk with your DH about this
before you do, though. Explain WHY you chose to do this, and that
it will not affect his ties with his family in any way, just yours.
Good luck.
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Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
and responses received will be posted as early as our resources will
allow. Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then
posted, all at once, to the original story page at a later date (generally,
one set of responses will be posted per day).
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Working Women Don't Have Wives