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Mother-In-Law Mall
A place to find great gifts!
and products related to mothers-in-law and other family members.
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Mother-In-Law Stories
August 27, 2004
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AUGUST
2004
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It was a Sunday, and we were newlyweds.
We had just returned from our honeymoon, during which my DH became
ill and ended up in the ER. Needless to say, we didn't have
much of a "honey", but had plenty of "moon".
Well, we're upstairs in our apartment when we heard the front
door open. "Hello, where are you?" was shouted.
DH and I grabbed our robes and ran downstairs, a little red in
the face. MIL's comment to us was, "What are you two
doing in your pajamas in the middle of the afternoon?", to
which my DH replied, "What do you think? We're newlyweds!"
She said, straight-faced, "You are only supposed to do that
when you are trying to have children." I knew, then,
that my life was doomed.
Signed - Doomed
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1 |
5 |
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Strongly Agree
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Somewhat Agree
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Somewhat Disagree
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Strongly Disagree
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Please Seek Counseling
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Continue on Message
Board
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Worst gift: For a couple
of years, my now ex-MIL knew that I hated cream. Every Wednesday,
my ex, his son, and I would go over to their house for dinner, which
was always spaghetti and desert. Every single time she gave me
a dish of ice cream after I finished my dinner, to which I would
always say, "I don't like ice cream." I think that she
did this out of spite. One Christmas, when we were all opening
presents, she handed me a gift from FIL and herself. I opened it
up, and it was an ice cream maker. What was with that?!!!! I am
so glad that I don't have to deal with that any more.
Signed - I Scream For
Ice Cream
Per
the poster's request, no responses collected.
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My DF's sister got married
a few months ago, and her parents, my FILs, chose to pay for the
entire wedding. FSIL's wedding gifts consisted mostly of money,
which she and her DH are planning to use to eventually purchase
a home. Before FSIL's wedding, my DF and I announced to the
FPIL that we were getting married, and that we had plans to do it
abroad. We wanted to invite only my parents and my DH's parents,
and keep it small. When we announced our plans to my FMIL
(after FSIL's wedding), she advised us that, because they had spent
money on FSIL, they could not afford to join us for the wedding.
DF is quite upset, and so am I. I am wondering whether I am
being a spoiled brat: Is it proper for a MIL to tell her son
and his DF that she cannot take part in the wedding of their choosing
because she just paid for her DD's wedding???
Signed - Venting
RESPONSE: Venting
I would think that it's a bit unfair. But, on the other hand, you
chose to have your wedding abroad. Expect that some people won't
be able to make it on account of funds.
RESPONSE: Venting
Well, look at it this way: They just paid for their DD's wedding.
Now, they will have the cost of tickets, lodging, etc., in order
to attend your wedding abroad. Are you marrying in the same year
as FSIL was wed? If so, I don't blame the FILs for worrying about
the cost. Is there any way to push the date back? Is there an
alternative setting that you would like?
RESPONSE: Venting
You say they first heard you were planning to marry after they had
already spent a large amount of money on FSIL's wedding. How were
your FILs to know that they needed to save for an expensive trip
to their son's wedding, since you waited to announce your engagement
at FSIL's wedding? In the US, it is traditional for the bride's
parents to pay for the wedding. So, your FILs may indeed be unable
to afford to come to yours so soon after spending a large amount
on their DD's wedding. Without knowing additional details, I do
think you're acting somewhat spoiled about this.
RESPONSE: Venting
Thank your lucky stars that they won't be there!! If they did come
along, my bet is that they would spend the entire time comparing
your wedding to their DD's (to your disadvantage, across the board).
Have a wonderful, relaxing, fun-filled, and, above all, IL FREE
wedding!!!!
RESPONSE: Venting
There are two possibly distinct scenarios here. The first is that
she could be a MIL-from-he!!, and is trying to "punish"
you by not coming to your wedding. The second is that they honestly
cannot afford to go. You said that you did not announce your plans
until after FSIL's wedding, which they paid for (assuming they paid
for it completely). They may have gone into major debt to pay for
it, and your news that you want to "go abroad" (where?
Europe? Caribbean? Amundsen-Scott Air Base?) may actually be more
than they can afford right now.
RESPONSE: Venting
I do not think that you are being a spoiled brat, but look at it
this way: You chose to get married abroad, which is a lot to ask
of your guests. You have to expect that people will not show up
because of the time/money/involvement. I understand why you are
hurting, but look at it from the guests' point of view.
RESPONSE: Venting
Yes, it is proper. If they cannot afford to come, they cannot afford
to come. I would not try to read anything between the lines here.
If you can afford it, offer to pay for their airfare, room and board,
and see if they will come then. They also may not like the idea
of flying abroad. Some folks are afraid to leave their home country.
If they cannot make it, you will still have a beautiful wedding.
RESPONSE: Venting
If you choose to have an expensive-for-others wedding, you have
to expect that some people won't go. If you want them to go, you'll
have to help them with the expense, or get over it and have one
closer to home. Why not do that and spend your money on the honeymoon?
RESPONSE: Venting
Maybe they just honestly can't afford it. Do they avoid everything
to do with their DS, or is this just a one time thing? Or, like
a lot of people post-9/11, they do not wish to travel to a foreign
country for any reason, even one as important as their son's wedding,
and the "lack of money" part is just an excuse to cover
up for their fear.
RESPONSE: Venting
Yes, I think that they probably can't afford it now. I mean, a
wedding overseas is expensive, and then people have to pay big bucks
for the plane ticket on top of hotel. Maybe you could ask them
how long you should wait until they can save back up again. Or,
another option is that you can move the wedding to the USA and make
it an inexpensive one, and then go abroad for your honeymoon instead!
You can make your wedding theme in USA to be like the place that
you wanted to have it originally. I can understand how they just
spent a ton of money on SIL and don't have much now. It's just
off timing that you guys got engaged at this time. Maybe you can
set the wedding date back a bit. It'll also give you guys more
time to get to know each other, and to get to know his family and
how he interacts with his mom, sis, and whoever else. That is a
very important thing to know. As you have probably read a lot of
the posts here, make sure that you know what you are getting into
with him and his family. They could drive you two apart if you
don't find out now. That's just some urgent advice there. Keep
us posted on what you decide and what happens.
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Note: To better handle the volume of submissions - stories
and responses received will be posted as early as our resources will
allow. Responses to new stories will be accumulated, and then
posted, all at once, to the original story page at a later date (generally,
one set of responses will be posted per day).
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Working Women Don't Have Wives